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Chubby Mommy Running Club

November 10, 2010
17:07
Real Women, Real Runners, Real Running Club
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Funny how a bunch of people standing around wearing matching shirts looks like a club! Because, hey, we ARE real, after all. Just like Velveteen Rabbits. These lovely ladies joined me for a photo at Amazon Running Trail in Eugene today for an upcoming article in the Eugene Register-Guard’s Health and Fitness section about the [...]
8:43
Good knee, Bad knee? Women Runners Injury Prevention Workshop
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Let’s talk about runner’s knees! And legs! And core, core, core! And let’s eat fruit, drink tea and meet each other in real life, while we’re at it. Christina Caldwell, co-owner of The Multisport Advantage Training Studio in Eugene is hosting this month’s Chubby Mommy Running Club Social. Join us on Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 [...]
November 08, 2010
21:36
Hilary Swank, Black Eyed Peas and Me: My Boom Boom Pow Kick Boxing Night
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I went to Robin’s kick boxing class again tonight. I taped up my bloody knuckles, put on some gloves, and hit the bag with some left hooks, right hooks, jabs and pivot kicks. And I learned some super duper fancy footwork, to boot. Okay, I used a Band Aid and they were just little scabs [...]
November 07, 2010
16:41
Me as a 7 Year-Old Fashionista: Do These Shorts Make Me Look Fat?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My sister found this picture and posted it on Facebook. I remember this day. It was Ida Paterson Elementary School’s annual field trip to the Oregon Coast. I’m pretty sure I was in 2nd grade. I loved these shorts. I also loved Robbie, the cute blond boy on my left. I do not think he [...]
November 02, 2010
11:20
How to be a Kickboxer: a Wimp’s Guide to Toughness Part 1
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Get Fit. Burn fat. Get lean. Learn Self-Defense. These are the things Robin at Every Mom to Iron Mom promised me from my first Kickboxing class last night. I was expecting the fitness benefits, I was not expecting how much I’d enjoy the Self-Defense part. It feels good to land a punch on a real bag. [...]
October 30, 2010
9:19
Family Fitness Fun: We’re Going to the Y-M-C-A!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I signed up the whole family for a YMCA membership the other day. Call it a preemptive post- Halloween fallout maneuver, if you must. I call it a practical rally for physical and mental sanity. The gray rain is starting to get me down already, and despite our best efforts, our family tends to sit around [...]
October 29, 2010
18:00
Is Your Baby too Chubby? Try Baby Spanx!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I’ve been researching and writing about all the snarky, mean fat people stuff all week at Cafe Mom’s “The Stir” blog, in response to the Marie Claire fiasco. So, when Roxanne posted this funny Saturday Night Live spoof on Spanx, it made me laugh. Enjoy!
October 27, 2010
14:59
Why Marie Claire’s Maura Kelly is in Trouble
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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In cased you missed it, a bunch of people are mad at Marie Claire Magazine, and one of their writers, Maura Kelly. She wrote an article about how watching fat people kiss on a TV show grosses her out, and compared the horrors of watching them do anything to watching a heroin addict or a [...]
October 23, 2010
13:59
Chubby Mommy Runner Joins University of Oregon’s Track Team
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Okay, so maybe I’m not officially on the team, and maybe I just saw them in the parking lot up at Hendrick’s Park in Eugene after my walk, and, I admit I can’t run quite as fast as any of them (since we all know U 0f O has one of the best track programs [...]
October 19, 2010
16:23
Go for a Quickie: from Desk to 4K in 25 minutes, or Less!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Many things conspired to shut my running window today. As usual. But the cool autumn sunshine was streaming through the glass, onto my desk. It kept tickling my brain with promises and light. “Come outside with me,” it whispered. “Hurry, hurry, I’ll be gone before you know it…” You can’t argue with the sun. Right? [...]
October 18, 2010
12:49
Swim Golf and Zen Swimming: How a Swim Coach Improved Me
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My new trainer, IronMom Robin, told me to meet her at the pool the other day. The outside pool. So I whined because it was about 58 degrees, which seems too cold for hanging out at the pool. But then she chirped “oh, you’ll be warm in the water, don’t worry!” So of course I [...]
October 17, 2010
18:54
Pigs in a Blanket and the Day My Skirt Fell Down at Rockefeller Center
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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We went to Ye Olde Pancake House for this week’s Sunday Morning Marriage and Breakfast Review. We haven’t been there since 1995. It looks exactly the same. A dated, but clean place trying to look Swedish. Sort of. As soon as we sat down in the periwinkle blue-backed booth and saw the white spinny stools [...]
October 14, 2010
10:03
Shoes, Coffee, Yumm! Meeting Up In real life
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Two thumbs up for meeting in real life. Several moms, one teenager and a toddler showed up to our October Chubby Mommy Running Club Social last night. There was a lot of getting to know each other and running plan-making going on. There was also some orange throwing by a cute baby. And some knee pinching: [...]
October 12, 2010
17:40
Proud to Hit Like a Girl! Boxing with IronMom Robin
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My new trainer Robin is an IronMom. Like, for real. She’s tough, and I wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley. But if I had to be in a dark alley, I’d want to have her with me, to beat up the bad guys. I’m scared to death of dark alleys, though, so [...]
October 10, 2010
14:22
The Power of Sex, Joe Walsh and French Toast: Sunday Brunch and Marriage Review
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I’ve been “under the weather” this week, and considered canceling my Sunday morning brunch date with my husband. The relentless pouring rain and dizzying side effects from some new massive vitamins my doctor prescribed tried to lull me back to bed and a nap. But I was in NYC last Sunday and missed our date, [...]
October 09, 2010
14:12
Hey Everyone, Let’s Talk about Breast Cancer and Mammograms!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Hard to make this topic funny, huh? Yeah. ‘Cause it’s not. But it’s important. When I finally went to the doctor last week for a check up, after avoiding it for…oh, a couple of years, she got a little crabby that I hadn’t come in sooner, so she made me call in to schedule a [...]
2:38
We had a blast at last month’s ...
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We had a blast at last month’s meetup, so Join us on October 13, 2010, 6:30-8:30 p.m. for the October Chubby Mommy Running Club Social in Eugene, OR. Meet new friends, and find running and walking partners at our 2nd social Meetup inside the Atrium near Eugene Running Company and Cafe Yumm! at Oakway Center, 2350 Oakmont [...]
October 08, 2010
8:32
How to Eat a Roasted Chestnut on 5th Ave in NYC
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Have you ever had a real, fresh off the fire roasted chestnut? Me neither. So I tried one. First of all, they look like a little cooked brain popping out of their shell, which is a little weird. So there’s that. But I like walnuts, so decided to be brave:
October 07, 2010
16:39
Shop in the Street, Meet New Friends
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I met Jean in the street in front of my hotel on Sunday. There was a street fair on Lexington Avenue, filled with stuff I didn’t know I needed. Some good stuff, some junk. And then, suddenly, a whole bunch of sweaters. The shopping instinct that I’d kept filed away all weekend caught a whiff [...]
October 06, 2010
12:17
How Twitter and Julie Klam Led Me to the Sex Museum in New York City
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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[You could skip the story and scroll right down to the Sex Museum video at the end of this post, but you really shouldn't!] I’m not even sure where to start this story, but, I guess with most things in my life lately, it all started on Twitter, and it involves Julie Klam, a famous author [...]
October 02, 2010
19:24
The Importance of Being @juliejulie
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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The people who know me in real life are never surprised when I announce it’s time for me to go off and try something new, again, or take a little trip somewhere just because it seems like a good idea. They are used to me. This is my normal. People who know me online are [...]
14:59
I Found a bunch of Words in Manhattan
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Today I had a lovely lunch with some lovely ladies I met on Twitter, and then we wandered around the Flatiron District in Manhattan and we happened upon this wall of words. After we hugged goodbye on a corner, they pointed me towards the Chelsea District and told me to walk the Highline trail, which [...]
October 01, 2010
6:54
An American at SFO: @juliejulie goes to NYC #1
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I’m sitting at the San Francisco airport, waiting for my red eye flight to Newark. To my left, a chic European couple. Their style is effortless. Even their somewhat thin, stringy hair looks like they want it that way on purpose. They easily find a table near an outlet and pull out their Mac Books [...]
September 28, 2010
19:24
The T-Shirts are here! The T-Shirts are here!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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OKAY people! We have paypal! You can use my julie@twistpopmedia.com email for paypal, to buy a shirt. Please put your size and mailing address in the comments, or email me. I’m soooo happy some people are already buying shirts! Thank you thank you thank you!!!! Sizes Small Medium Large Extra Large XXL Yay! Finally, after [...]
September 26, 2010
12:48
Off the Waffle, Marche: Sunday Morning Marriage Review
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Seriously? This is the picture my husband took today. As if he doesn’t know how to use a camera, which isn’t the case. At all. I did not say “You call yourself a photographer?” today. It’s pointless. So I started dating again. My husband and I are going out on Sundays now, so I’m going [...]
September 24, 2010
22:45
Goodbye Gray Hair! How I Lost Ten Years at Salon Nevaeh
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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When I told my friend Marcia that the internets decided that I should NOT let my hair go gray, she told me to go see *Debra. It’s good to have smart friends. Especially if they know a good stylist, and are willing to pass on her number. Debra just opened Salon Nevaeh in the Oasis [...]
September 23, 2010
10:05
Fat Woman on the Mountain – the Life, the Book, the Reality Show
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I met Kara Richardson Whitely at the FitBloggin 10 conference last spring in Baltimore. She told me about how climbing mountains changed her life. In December of 1996, she weight 360 pounds. She dreamed of climbing mountains, she said, but she was lost in her own body. And then, she wrote down what she wanted [...]
September 22, 2010
14:01
We.are.so.very.close.to.t-shirt.nirvana!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Glam shot! This is me after running an extra hard hill route today in my new shirt. Yes! It’s a miracle! I finally found a t-shirt worthy of my Chubby Mommy Running Club brand and logo. It’s an ONNO brand, organic cotton/bamboo blend. It feels amazing, and works like a tech tee, by whisking away [...]
September 21, 2010
13:37
IronMom & @juliejulie in a swimsuit = Accidental Chubby Mommy Ironwoman?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I think I just got hijacked. My friend Scott, the Ironman, told me to meet him at the pool last night, where he introduced me to Robin, who’s a Triathlon coach, and writes the IronMom blog. And then she told me she loves my blog and wants to train me. For a triathlon. As in, [...]
September 20, 2010
6:53
Pee-Wee Herman, @juliejulie and the Beaver Freezer Tri Adventure, Part 2
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Remember when my friend Scott, the Ironman, told me I was going to train for a mini-triathlon called The Beaver Freezer? Yeah, I’m trying to forget too. It should come as no surprise to any of us that Scott’s a mechanical engineer. The problem with guys like Scott is they’re tenacious and they don’t forget [...]
September 16, 2010
17:06
Social Success: A real-life meeting of the Chubby Mommy Running Club
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The great thing about the Social Media is meeting cool people from all over the world and chatting with them about life, almost like they’re you’re neighbors, as if you can ask them for a cup of sugar (or a couple of packets of Stevia, or a a squirt or two of Agave syrup) any [...]
9:07
The Internets Have Voted: @juliejulie Must Dye Her Hair!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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It is with mixed emotions (and a tiny sigh of relief) that I announce the results of the International Internet vote about what I should do with my hair: DYE IT! Yes, dear readers, you have decided my destiny. I am not allowed to let my hair go gray, yet. But I must say, to [...]
September 14, 2010
10:01
Help! Save me from becoming my own Gray-Haired-Dansko-Woman cliche!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Okay. I’m getting a little nervous now. Tomorrow’s the day you all decide if I should dye my hair or let it go gray. I was feeling very brave about the whole thing until I saw this ad for Dansko Clogs last night while flipping through a magazine. In my mind, I think I look [...]
September 13, 2010
14:50
“Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam”
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My husband and I have been going out to breakfast on Sunday mornings lately, so we can talk without kids and dogs interrupting every half spoken, unfinished sentence we attempt. I actually brush my hair and wear a dress, so that makes it like a date. Here’s how our date went yesterday: Me: “Can I [...]
September 12, 2010
14:40
September 11th: 2751 Moments, 24 Hours without Twitter
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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On Friday, Cathleen Rittereiser, one of my Facebook friends, posted a note on her page saying she was taking a day off from social media on September 11th, to observe 2751 moments of silence , as a way to honor the people killed during the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers on 9/11, 2001. “By defining a ‘moment’ [...]
September 10, 2010
9:30
September 10th: @juliejulie’s Gray Hair Update
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Only five more days of this nonsense, people! I’ll tally the final votes from the survey, over there to your right on September 15th. Should I dye my hair, or let it go gray, all the way? Something must be done. It’s taking over. Most of the ladies over at Mrs. G’s Derfwad Manor are saying [...]
September 09, 2010
19:27
“Run Like a Mother” at the Eugene Women’s Half, the Movie
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More fun at the Eugene Women’s Half: Some of you may remember when I had tea with Sarah Bowen Shea back in Bend, OR. She’s a writer and a runner and a mom. And a marathoner. And she wrote a book, “Run Like a Mother” with her fellow Runner’s World writer, Dimity McDowell. And now [...]
September 08, 2010
13:14
Luna and Larry’s Coconut Bliss, Unlimited
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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The minute I walked into the corporate offices of Luna and Larry’s, I knew something good was going to happen. The lovely old house near the University of Oregon Campus in Eugene is painted in calm greens and creams, like a delicious, ripe pistachio nut. I walked in the door and saw Sue, The Accountessa of numbers and [...]
4:34
Cooking with Elvis: New Ways with Chicken, Please!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I’m in a cooking rut. Food is getting boring, which just seems awful to say out loud, since I live in a place that surely has the most delicious, healthy, natural food options per person in the country, and I’m a mere mile a way from an Albertson’s grocery store that has cheap, organic produce [...]
September 06, 2010
9:38
Eugene Women’s Half Marathon
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I thought about running in the inaugural Eugene Women’s Half Marathon this year, for about 20 seconds, then decided not to, because I knew I wasn’t ready to attempt 13.1 miles without crying or getting hurt. But I did go down the night before to hang out with Sarah Bowen Shea of Run Like a Mother [...]
September 01, 2010
16:41
Raise your hand if you want a Chubby Mommy tattoo!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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They’re here! They’re here! I know you want a Chubby Mommy Running Club tattoo, who wouldn’t? I’m giving away 100 of these lovely, washable tattoos, 2 at a time. One for you, one for a friend. Leave me a comment, and email your shipping address to me at julieanderson (at) hotmail (dot) com, and I’ll [...]
August 31, 2010
8:40
@juliejulie’s Gray Hair September 1st
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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People are clicking the Survey Monkey vote tab over there to your right. 60% are saying I should dye my hair. 40% are saying I shouldn’t. I promise I’ll do what you say. Something has to happen, as you can see. I can’t keep walking around like this, can I? You should vote.
August 30, 2010
10:38
In Which I Put the Internets in Charge of My Hair Color
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Contact: Julie Anderson, julieanderson@hotmail.com Press Release 44 year old Mommy/Lifestyle blogger lets Social Media fans decide if she should let her hair go gray or keep dyeing it to appear younger. Julie Anderson, author of the humorous “Chubby Mommy Running Club” blog is letting her Twitter and Facebook followers decide the ultimate vanity question for women of [...]
August 25, 2010
15:56
Betty Friedan in My Bed
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Note from @juliejulie: I’m going to fold my Posterous Blog, where I started writing little snippets of my daily conversations, back into this blog. I wrote this post back in February, when I was trying to figure out how to balance home and work and what I really want to do when I grow up. “What [...]
August 24, 2010
9:51
Let’s Have a Social!
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Yeah, so I need some more friends and I think we should have a party. Because I love parties. I also need some motivation to get out and exercise, so this is a Chubby Mommy Running Club Social Party involving food and drinks, so we can meet potential walking and running buddies, and learn more [...]
August 22, 2010
18:22
The one about the Hobo and the Klondike Bar
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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On Saturday mornings I’ve been forcing the kids off the screens and outside for family exercise. They pretend they hate it at first, but once we settle into the walk or hike, it’s not so bad, especially if they can con us into incorporating ice cream into the trip, somehow. Yesterday we walked down the hill [...]
August 20, 2010
16:05
Chubby Mommy Runner Trains for the Beaver Freezer Sprint
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Dear Julie: It was so nice to talk to you last night. I’m very excited about us working together to achieve your goals of qualifying for and racing the Ironman World Championships in Kona next year! I’ll be in Kona in a couple of weeks and I’ll be sure to check out the course for you. Dear [...]
August 19, 2010
6:02
Should I Burn my Uterus?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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“Should I let the doctor burn up my uterus?” I ask him. We are in bed. I am reading “Bitch.” “The Power of No” and “Going Gray” are stacked up beside me, waiting. He sighs heavily. I look over his shoulder. The lines of his code are a foreign language to me. He’s typing in red, [...]
August 18, 2010
16:45
T-Shirts? T-Shirts? Where are the T-shirts?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Oh, hi. I know it’s been an ongoing saga/joke/process to get you all the Chubby Mommy Running Club T-shirts you’ve been hoping for, and wishing for, and dreaming about. Sorry. I assure you I’m not as lame as it seems. I do have a plan. It’s a good plan, it’s just a bit complicated. I know it’s pretty [...]
August 17, 2010
12:29
It’s Time to Change: I need a new trainer to tease!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Alrighty then. It’s time to change. My summer of stress is almost over. The big move zapped a lot of energy out of me. So many feathers hit the Zen bubble I pretend surrounds me that I feel like a feather pillow. And frankly, I’m starting to look like one. So it’s time to buckle down [...]
August 16, 2010
10:05
“I’m too young for age spots, right?” asks Lily-Livered 44 Year Old Mom
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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“True age spots are harmless and don’t need treatment, but they can look like cancerous growths,” says the Mayo Clinic. Lovely. I feel so much better and more attractive now, don’t you? In my quest to balance this natural, wholesome journey towards aging gracefully, I’ve tripped a bit when it comes to my skin. Gray hair [...]
August 15, 2010
6:53
Ten Lazy Reasons Not to Go Running
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I’m good at making up excuses, and wasting time. Sometimes I call these activities “creative thinking” or “resting” or “re-charging my batteries,” which sounds like something a cheap counselor or newbie self-help coach might say. But really, I’m just being lazy. Some people say lazy people never get anywhere in the end, but isn’t that sort [...]
August 13, 2010
17:16
My Hair/Myself: Old Lady Gray vs. Middle-Aged Hip Gray
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Seriously, you guys, this crop of roots is getting too gray to ignore. Right? Of course, I’m not actually ignoring it, since I’m taking a picture of my roots every couple of weeks and showing the world, but you know what I mean. If I don’t erase the gray soon, I’ll be…a gray-haired lady. Goodness. What a [...]
August 12, 2010
21:28
The Wisdom of Kermit – Who said that every wish would be heard and answered?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Have you been half asleep And have you heard voices? I’ve heard them calling my name. Are these the sweet sounds that called The young sailors, I think they’re one and the same. I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it, There’s something that I’m supposed to be Someday we’ll find it The Rainbow Connection The lovers, the dreamers and me
August 11, 2010
20:57
My Enchanted Life: Out of the Forest and into the Light
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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There was a middle aged woman who had too much to do. She had three children and a limited budget for cute shoes. “We’re bored, we’re bored!” said the children each day. “Stop whining!” she snapped and sent them away. She woke up on Wednesday and had an idea: “Get in the car!” she yelled, “let’s get [...]
August 09, 2010
15:49
A Perfect Run with My Daughter
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My 13 year old girl is the perfect combination of confident and spunky, with just a tad of insecurity thrown in to keep her interesting. A natural athlete and a perfectionist since day one, she worries about trying new sports because “I don’t know how. I’ve never played, and everyone will be better.” So I have [...]
August 06, 2010
12:42
Attack the Blueberry Cake!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My in-laws out in McKenzie Valley, Oregon have two huge blueberry “trees” in their yard. Some of them ended up in this delicious coffee cake I made this morning. They were victims of a savage attack: My brother-in-law is leaving for a one year, world wide tour, including a walk across the 600 mile Camino De [...]
August 05, 2010
9:35
My Pot Garden: Growing Good Stuff on the Porch
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Now that we live in Eugene, Oregon again, it’s easy to grow stuff in pots. I’m talking about tomatoes. And cucumbers, and marigolds and a few assorted herbs. You know, the legal kind. We’re renting our house and we just moved in mid-June, and I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money making raised beds [...]
August 04, 2010
14:15
What’s the Point of Raw, Gluten Free, Vegan Cheesecake? YUM.
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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One day, when I was minding my own business on Twitter, I noticed Earth Cafe started following me. So I followed them back. Then I got a personal, direct message from Craig Ahrens, the President, thanking me and letting me know their Raw, Gluten Free, Vegan cheesecake was available at Market of Choice, a store [...]
August 02, 2010
10:23
Why I like Naked Bellies at the Faerie Fair
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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We love fairies at our house, so we went to the FaerieWorlds Festival on Saturday in Eugene. There were good fairies and bad fairies, a few pirates, and lots and lots of lovely naked bellies. Remember when I wrote about Naked Breasts at the Oregon Country Fair? It was my most popular post ever! Not a [...]
July 31, 2010
11:17
And Now, Back to the Running
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Hi. My name’s @juliejulie and I’m NOT a run-a-holic. It’s been a week since my last run. And that run was short and hot I hated it. So, yeah, I haven’t been running much lately. Did you notice? Somewhere between obsessing about my hair and breasts I finally remembered this is a running blog. Except I [...]
July 30, 2010
13:23
Gray Hair #3: I’m Not My Mom
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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My mom stopped by today. We talked about my hair. She’s 73, and nearly all gray, with just a few brown highlights underneath. She has a lot of fine hair, just like me, which grows like a weed, she says. She can barely keep up with it, so she just let’s it go long, until [...]
July 29, 2010
15:51
Why I Gave a Homeless Man $5 Today
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I was driving out of the parking lot when I saw him. My car was filled with orange marigolds, purple petunias, and all the stuff I need to make a lemon birthday cake for my 11 year old boy. He was about 20 years old, wearing dirty shorts, a t-shirt, and Teva-esq sandals. He had a [...]
July 28, 2010
11:31
When Good Teenagers Get Bored: Dinner on the Deck
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Moving to a kidless neighborhood in a new town in the middle of the summer can be a real bummer when you’re 16. But, if you’re my daughter, you just ask your old friends to come over and visit for a week, and then every day can be an excuse for a party. I’ve been entertaining [...]
July 27, 2010
15:49
Swimming with My Eyes Closed
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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Besides the not-being-able-to-breathe-under-water thing, swimming can be pretty relaxing. It’s just me and the water and my breath, and the muffled sound of my own splashing. Without any extra outside sounds to distract me, I start noticing how much my mind wanders through and around all the conversations I have with myself. Today I was so [...]
July 26, 2010
14:49
Going Gray #2: She Let Me Touch Her Hair
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

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I took the kids to the 5th Street Market in Eugene today to ride the glass elevator and sit by the splashing fountain in the shady courtyard. While they were eating ice cream, I met this nice lady named Jackie in the bathroom. I loved her hair, and told her I was considering going gray. We [...]
4:36
When Feathers Float Away
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Sometimes things are heavy and they hurt when they slam into me. If I were a football player I’d be prepared and wear pads and a helmet, but I’m just a mom with a rational fear of head injuries. I’d rather my troubles were light and feathery and would just float away on a cool breeze [...]
July 25, 2010
18:20
Esther Williams, Do You Like My Hat?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Oh yes, I really did buy this lovely flowered latex swim cap after my children suggested it when they saw the little old ladies doing water aerobics at the pool. But they didn’t think I’d actually go through with it. Or put it on during family rec swim at Amazon pool. On a crowded Saturday. But [...]
July 20, 2010
19:34
The Little Red Hen Eats Tomatoes
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Now that we’re back in the fertile Willamette Valley, we can grow our own tomatoes. This is a big deal for our family, since we all love tomatoes, and as much as I want to support local organic farmers, I also want to buy bread, milk, and good running shoes, too. A few $3 seedlings from [...]
July 16, 2010
13:24
Naked Breasts: Does Size Really Matter?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Since we’ve been discussing middle-aged angst issues like naked bodies and gray hair this week, I think it’s high time we talk about boobs here at Chubby Mommy Running Club. I wrote about bras and appreciating my breasts in the light of a friend’s battle with breast cancer a while ago, but this [...]
July 15, 2010
14:33
Naked Hair: Is Gray the New Sexy?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Angelina did this for MOVIE, not in real life. For the record. For some strange reason the internets are interested in my hair. I can fly my mannequin to Vegas and take her to the U2 concert and spend hours making a video and writing about it for 250 clicks over time, or I can take [...]
July 12, 2010
23:14
Why I Love Naked Ladies at the Fair
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

We went to the Oregon Country Fair, one of the largest outdoor craft fairs in the country, where art and music and love flow freely in the woods in Veneta, Oregon, just a stone’s throw from Eugene, where many say the counter culture incubated in Ken Kesey’s psychedelic bus before it flew over the cuckoo’s nest. Our [...]
July 09, 2010
18:47
Jamal: “Eat Tofu and Stay Blessed with God”
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I met Jamal on Hollywood and Vine a few weeks ago when I was in L.A. with Suzy. He was selling CD’s, and I asked him what he does for exercise. I think he told me what he thought I wanted to hear, which was fun, and a bit touching, too. I like Jamal. I hope [...]
July 08, 2010
13:41
My Funny Date with Suzy Soro in Hollywood
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I met @HotComesToDie, who’s real name is Suzy Soro, when I was in L.A. trying to get my big break with Oprah. I met Suzy on Twitter first, and she said “call me when you’re in town,” like people do sometimes, just to be nice. But I actually did. And then, she had to meet [...]
July 07, 2010
9:41
When BFF’s Go Bad: Working Out with Hot-Body Friends
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Marcia swears I laughed at her when she tripped in the hallway at Jefferson Jr. High and broke her arm back in 1978. I was laughing with her, in that hey-did-you-see-that-guy-slip-on-the-banana-peel? way, it’s just she didn’t know it because she was trying not to cry. And there was no banana. So now that we’re grown-ups and [...]
July 04, 2010
10:36
Home Again Home Again
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Tags: 1 [edit]

My nose and eyes are adjusting to the green, green moss of home again. The high desert of Bend, Oregon is definitely beautiful in it’s own way, and I know I’ll complain about the rain in Eugene this winter, but for now—dang, it’s beautiful here in the rain forest!
July 02, 2010
11:43
Aerobic Love-making for Fitness
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

And yet another gem of an interview from my afternoon on Melrose Place, post Oprah audition. I met Kamil while having lunch at his restaurant, the Blu Jam Cafe, with friends Michael and Anna. How many calories do you burn during sex? Seems to me it depends on the sex…
July 01, 2010
21:29
Michael Runs from Gangbangers for Exercise
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

More fun on Melrose Place: I haven’t seen Michael Moldofsky since graduating from Churchill High School in 1983. Except maybe at the 20th year reunion, but neither of us could confirm or deny it. I do remember seeing Bobbie Stevens at that reunion though, along with his lovely wife Debi, and he told me and a few [...]
15:25
Habitat for Humanity’s Pregnant Sophie Sings
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Tags: 1 [edit]

My friend Sophie’s pregnant. She’s adorable, she exercises, and she sings. She’s also the Director of the Bend Area Habitat for Humanity’s ReStore, a fabulous place where you can donate and buy things for houses, knowing all the money goes to build more houses for those in need. It’s a good thing. The ReStore crew came [...]
June 27, 2010
10:17
@juliejulie Goes to Hollywood
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Rejection is never easy, but the journey must continue, especially when you have a round trip ticket from LAX back home to your real life in Oregon, which in my case involves packing up my house and moving my kids back home to Eugene where my husband’s been working for two months. I was not about [...]
June 26, 2010
18:51
Waiting for Oprah to Call in Laguna
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Here’s the little movie about my day in Laguna Beach waiting for the Oprah Show to call back and tell me to meet them in L.A. for the next round of talk show host auditions. This was the same day I met Gordon, the man who does 120 push ups without breaking a sweat, and his [...]
June 25, 2010
6:36
Saying Goodbye to Running Partners
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

So we’re officially moving away from Bend, Oregon tomorrow, but I’ll be back next week to deal with the house, and I’ve got a project here next month, and you know, I’m just a click away, really, due to the social part of social media. So I’m pretending it’s not a big deal. But then there’s the running [...]
June 24, 2010
2:41
Take Your Shirt Off and Do 120 Push Ups!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

The story continues: after I gave my 30 second pitch to Stacey, the casting director for Oprah’s Get your OWN Show audition last Saturday at 9:00 a.m., I had to wait the entire day for a call back. I hate to wait, so my new BFF I met in line and I went to Laguna [...]
June 23, 2010
7:45
I Met a new BFF on the Sidewalk in Laguna
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

After realizing it was probably more important to make it to the Oprah OWN Talk Show audition early than to keep worrying about how my hair looked, I made the mad dash from the hotel and arrived at the Kohl’s parking lot at about 4:30 a.m. I then wasted three agonizing minutes in the car debating whether I should wear my [...]
June 22, 2010
8:59
Dancing the Cha Cha with Keith
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I met Keith and his lovely wife while standing in line at the open call audition for Oprah’s OWN Show competition at the Kohl’s store in Laguna Nigel, CA. We arrived at about 4:30 a.m. and enjoyed a couple of hours of laughter and conversation before we gave our 30 second spiels to the casting directors. Keith is [...]
June 20, 2010
23:16
Oprah, Oprah, Oprah
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

This is just the first post in a series of little stories about my trip down to Orange County for the open call for Oprah’s “Get your OWN show!” contest. Turns out there are a lot of people who want their own show, not just me. We all wound up at the Kohl’s store parking lot [...]
June 17, 2010
9:26
Shopping for My Oprah Moment!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Good golly, I’m excited. I’m going to Laguna Beach tomorrow for the Oprah’s OWN show open call audition. There will be a beach there. And a pool. And sun. It will be warm. It will be fun. Here’s the video I submitted for “Everyday Fitness Adventures with Julie!” You can vote over and over [...]
June 15, 2010
5:13
Favorite Posts
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I know some of you are new, and since I ported over to WordPress, I have not tagged my posts to make it easier to search by subject. So, here are a few reader favorites, by category. Traveling to Interesting Places: Twist Pop Media Goes to Vegas – in which I took my Mannequin, Francine, to see [...]
June 09, 2010
22:13
Stuff is Overwhelming
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

So you know how I’ve been pretending, ignoring, acting like this moving away thing is no big deal? It’s a lie. It’s wearing me out. Despite the garage sale and the big truck from Habitat for Humanity hauling away a bunch of furniture, and ten, twenty, more-than- I-can-actually-count trips to Goodwill to drop off car load after car [...]
June 05, 2010
16:09
Why I Heart Firemen
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I headed down to the FootZone store today to pick up my race packet for tomorrow’s Heaven Can Wait Race, and boom – there were big pink fire trucks in front. Turns out these trucks are traveling the country to support women who’ve been affected by Cancer, with the Guardians of the Ribbon tour. I interviewed [...]
May 29, 2010
8:08
Again with My Oprah Moment
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Ok people, here’s my video submission for Oprah’s OWN Network call for talk show hosts: Every Day Fitness Adventures with Julie Of course I should be doing this, it’s my calling, right? I was doing stand-up at age 4, imitating Carol Burnett and Lily Tomlin in the family room at home. My family laughed hysterically, I [...]
May 25, 2010
14:10
Go with the FLOW
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I’ve got news. I’m starting a new venture with the fabulous Connie Austin, a fitness educator and event planner who created the popular Learn to Run program for FootZone in Bend, Oregon. We are starting FLOW - Fitness Leisure Outings for Women, a series of weekend retreats all over the country, to bring women together for [...]
May 20, 2010
6:39
Oprah and Hula Hoops
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I’m working on a video for Oprah’s new television network. It’s an open call, so I’ll be in the mix with 1,000’s of others, but hey, it’s a great excuse to get outside and meet new people, like the amazing Mollie Hogan of Hoopdazzle. I’ll post more soon, including a link to the video and [...]
May 18, 2010
10:30
XTERRA Footwear likes Cougars and Me
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

The smart people at XTERRA Footwear asked me if they could sponsor my blog. “We think you’re funny,” they said, “and we want active moms to know our shoes are great for running extreme races, or walking around your neighborhood while pushing a jog stroller, or chasing your toddler around the park.” So I looked at [...]
May 13, 2010
16:54
Cooking with @juliejulie: Shake Weight & POM
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Alrighty then, here’s the first Cooking Show segment for Chubby Mommy Running Club, featuring the ever-popular Shake Weight exercise apparatus, and the delicious POM Wonderful juice. I cooked in red this time. What color should I cook next time? Something yummy, involving “Dynamic Inertia,” to be sure. Do you have any special tools you like to use [...]
May 12, 2010
7:55
Come Run with Me!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

Dear Chubby Mommies, Not so Chubby Mommies, Non-Mommies, Slow Runners, Walkers, and anyone else: I’m going to run every Tuesday and Thursday morning at 9:00 a.m. from the FootZone store, downtown Bend, Oregon. Please join me! The store opens at 10:00, but I figure if we start and end there, we’ll always find each other. And [...]
May 09, 2010
12:30
Hey, I’m Still a Rock Star! Massage for Mom
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

My friend Toni at Rock Star Massage in Bend, Oregon has been trying to get me to come in and test drive a massage for about two years. She even offered to do a trade so I wouldn’t use money as an excuse not to do it, but I kept putting it off, month after [...]
May 06, 2010
9:50
Running While Sneezing
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I’m sick. Meh. Poor me. But the sun’s out, and I decided I need fresh air more than I need to sit here in a dark room staring at the computer, feeling sorry for myself. Besides, it’s just a cold, not Swine Flu. Hey, whatever happened to Swine Flu, anyway? So, I’m running with a big wad [...]
May 05, 2010
7:49
ShakeWeight!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

I just bought this thing two days ago, and decided to do a cooking show with it. Because Food Network needs me, that’s why. Full video coming soon, I promise. Also, please call your local Congressman and tell him or her that I need to make a video about them and their fitness routine, because you’re [...]
April 30, 2010
14:50
Aerobic Housecleaning?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: 1 [edit]

My kid has been sick all week and my husband’s out of town. It’s interrupting my running routine. My kid’s old enough that I can run to the store to buy him 7Up while he watches reruns of iCarly with a bucket nearby, but I do feel kinda guilty leaving him for an hour to go [...]
April 26, 2010
7:37
Running in the Rainforest
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: running in the woods [edit]

My husband got a great job making Facebook games at Playdom . So we're leaving the Sage Brush and Juniper of Central Oregon's High Desert and moving back home to the ultra-fertile Willamette Valley and Eugene, Oregon.
Eugene is home to Nike, thousands of hippies who show up for the Oregon Country Fair, the late, great Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters, and more giant moss-covered oak trees and ferns than you can shake a stick at.
As a 5th generation Oregonian with roots in the valley, I do feel a certain happiness well up inside me when I smell the rain forest of my youth. It's a Pavlovian reaction, I think. I can't help it.
The earthy smell reminds me of camping and fishing along the McKenzie River as a kid, picnics in the woods and searching for fairies at Hendrick's Park with my kids when they were little, and running on Pre's Trail, one of the best running trails in the Northwest.

We're looking for a place to live, so I packed the kids up and left Bend on Friday night and drove to the grandparent's house in the McKenzie Valley, about 30 minutes from home. I got up Saturday morning and took myself out for a run along Deerhorn Road.

After months of looking at winter snow on the gray-brown rocks of Bend, my eyes had to adjust to the new emerald green palette of the valley.

It was easy to talk myself into 4.5 miles since I was rewarded with a spectacular tree at every bend in the road. The running was easier, too, since I've been at a higher altitude for so long. I wasn't expecting the difference, and my lungs were as surprised as I was.
I wonder how long it will take before these trees and colors become ho-hum again, as part of my every day landscape. Never, I hope.
7:37
Running in the Rainforest
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: eugene [edit]

My husband got a great job making Facebook games at Playdom . So we’re leaving the Sage Brush and Juniper of Central Oregon’s High Desert and moving back home to the ultra-fertile Willamette Valley and Eugene, Oregon. Eugene is home to Nike, thousands of hippies who show up for the Oregon Country Fair, the late, great [...]
April 23, 2010
7:16
Play Games with your Feet!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: games [edit]

And now, a word from two of my delightful sponsors: The FootZone and FootGaming - it's all about the feet here at Chubby Mommy Running Club!

Good people, good stuff.
We are thrilled to have Bend’s FootZone as the host site for our May 19 media event. If you know of anyone in the media who would like first scoop on all the great FootGaming Bejeweled news, send them to this blog! As runners flock to FootZone to collect their race bags and schwag, they can stop by next door at the Liberty Building for Footgaming fun.
Every step they take while playing the incredible Bejeweled Twist will count as one vote for a finalist ExerLearning school. Local school need the more than$5000 in grant awards for fitness and technology. We are extending the grant deadline to May 15 – so share the grant link with a local teacher.
7:16
Play Games with your Feet!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: FootZone [edit]

And now, a word from my delightful sponsor: FootGaming – it’s all about the feet here at Chubby Mommy Running Club! FootGaming is putting on special event with PopCap Games for local schools in Bend, OR. Feel free to come to the May 19 media event at CAT6 Gaming Lounge in the Old Mill, near Regal [...]
April 22, 2010
9:55
"I'll Take 'Things I'm Good At' for 200, Alex"
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: kids [edit]
I haven't watched Jeopardy in a while, but I am a list maker, and a list giver. My kids are used to lists. Alex Trebek would not phase them.
The other night, as I was frantically working through my list before bed on my computer at the dining room table, the children complained - OK, whined - about needing some attention (they're old enough to just say, hey, give me some attention!)
The 16 year old said I needed to put "hang out with children" on my list. So I did.
I sat on the couch with them and we played that game where I tell them all the things they're good at, and all the things I like about them. It's a favorite game of theirs. Who wouldn't love this game?
Then I wanted a turn, so this is their list of things I'm good at:
Things Mom is good at:
1. You're good at giving hugs - you're warm.
2. Domesticated animals love you.
3. You're good at making clubs, like your Try Not Cry Club on Chubby Mommy Running Club.
4. You're good at listening.
5. You're good at teaching us good habits (Huh. Time to teach dish-doing and floor mopping?)
6. You're good at creative ideas and making things grow, like how you made up movies and stuff for Francine.
7. You're a good wife because you're mature enough to handle Dad and his jobs and negotiating things for his work.
8. You're good at telling Dad what to do and trading things for kisses.
9. You're good at bringing peace to the family.
I'm also good a raising nice kids, apparently, because these are the nicest things I've ever heard.
What's on your list?
9:55
"I’ll Take ‘Things I’m Good At’ for 200, Alex"
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: encouragment [edit]

I haven’t watched Jeopardy in a while, but I am a list maker, and a list giver. My kids are used to lists. Alex Trebek would not phase them. The other night, as I was frantically working through my list before bed on my computer at the dining room table, the children complained – OK, whined [...]
April 20, 2010
6:47
Chubby Mommy Running Club at the Beach
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: chubby mommy goes to the [edit]

This is me and my friend Sissy. She just got a beach house. I liked her before she got the beach house, but now I'll love her forever.
Sissy has many friends who love her unconditionally. I've been on a couple of fun trips with this group in the past, including a jaunt to Cindy's Lake House last summer, which convinced me that everyone needs a house with a location noun in front of it, or at least a friend or two with extra houses.
What I didn't realize before we got to the beach, was how many of these lovely women are runners. Some of them run 3 miles at a leisurely pace, like me, and some of them are regular 10K racers. Some of them, like Sissy, do not run, but enjoy a nice walk and good conversation just the same.

Some of them did cartwheels with me.
All of them were good sports.
The best part about running on the beach with friends is the actual running on the beach. With friends.
Plus, when you're running on the beach there's always a valid excuse to stop running when you spot a beautiful rock in the sand. I stopped a lot. As usual.

The other great thing about running on the beach with friends is you earn a good excuse to enjoy a drink with a view. Also, the ocean air burns more calories, I heard. So you get to have an extra drink, if you want one.
Plus, when you run with a group, you feel like you're in a real club, even though you just made up the name Chubby Mommy Running Club on a whim, but everyone else thinks it's a real club and they want to join.
So if you work it right, you can turn this whole thing into a real club, where all Chubby and Not so Chubby mommies all over the world can meet in real life for their own real life running clubs and running weekends, and then you can write off the entire trip as a business expense, which is always an added bonus.
But mostly? Waking up to blue sky and friendly smiles on the Oregon Coast is priceless.
6:47
Chubby Mommy Running Club at the Beach
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: chubby mommy goes to the [edit]

This is me and my friend Sissy. She just got a beach house. I liked her before she got the beach house, but now I’ll love her forever. Sissy has many friends who love her unconditionally. I’ve been on a couple of fun trips with this group in the past, including a jaunt to Cindy’s [...]
April 18, 2010
15:11
@juliejulie at the Beach!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Oregon coast [edit]

I'm at the beach, in Waldport, Oregon with my friends. Happy happy, joy, joy. More about the running tomorrow.
15:11
@juliejulie at the Beach!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Oregon coast [edit]

I’m at the beach, in Waldport, Oregon with my friends. Happy happy, joy, joy. More about the running tomorrow.
April 15, 2010
12:53
"Let Mom Run in Peace, if Possible"
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: leave a note [edit]

Just so there's no confusion.
12:53
"Let Mom Run in Peace, if Possible"
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: leave a note [edit]

Just so there’s no confusion.
April 14, 2010
14:54
Running With Babies
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: running Up Hills [edit]

These are not my babies. I don't even know them. I met these babies at The FootZone in Bend last week. They were there with their mother, I think. They went on our fun run with us, and they were much faster than me.
I remember running with babies. I have 3 kids, all 3 years apart (because I'm a good planner...) so I had a baby and a toddler in a double jog stroller like this for years. I remember that it was heavy and hard to push up hills. But hey, it got us out of the house.
Kudos to the babies, and the mommy who gave them cool sunglasses, and a free ride.
14:54
Running With Babies
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: babies [edit]

These are not my babies. I don’t even know them. I met these babies at The FootZone in Bend last week. They were there with their mother, I think. They went on our fun run with us, and they were much faster than me. I remember running with babies. I have 3 kids, all 3 years [...]
April 13, 2010
13:58
Get Into the Groove...
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: music playlist [edit]

Some days I feel like a break-dancer. Things move fast, I'm zipping around in circles and it feels like my head is spinning.
Except if I actually try to spin around on my head while kicking my legs up in the air to get the momentum going, I'd break something.
Like a lamp, or a vase. Or my neck.
Today my life felt like a big long break dance in my mind. I needed to clear out the spin, or tomorrow would feel the same way.
I knew I needed to go for a run, but I didn't want to. I wanted to crawl back into bed and stare at the ceiling. Then take a long hot shower and talk to myself as the water ran over my head so I can work out all the spinning puzzle pieces, and make them fit back into the smooth, easy picture I want.
But I'm smart. I know staring at ceilings and talking to myself only works for so long. Eventually, I have to let nature take it's course and force my body to move around and let some endorphins out of their hiding places. They fight the stress chemicals.
Running is my version of releasing the hounds.
So today I tricked myself into running. I reminded myself I have some good songs on my iPod Shuffle, and it was actually charged up and ready to go. I also said I could just run for a bit, and walk the rest of the way if I wanted.
I believed myself (why wouldn't I?) put n my headphones, turned the music up, and took off.
Mick Jagger, Beyonce, and Gwen Stefani got me going, and the Indigo Girls, Kate Bush and Madonna kept me pounding the pavement. I skipped Michael Jackson, I wasn't in the mood for him today.
It worked. I ran about 3.5 miles. I feel better and my brain is clear. I'll have to think of another trick tomorrow.
13:58
Get Into the Groove…
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: madonna [edit]

Some days I feel like a break-dancer. Things move fast, I’m zipping around in circles and it feels like my head is spinning. Except if I actually try to spin around on my head while kicking my legs up in the air to get the momentum going, I’d break something. Like a lamp, or a vase. [...]
April 10, 2010
14:44
Chunking It Up with "Run Like a Mother's" Sarah Bowen Shea
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: run like a mother [edit]
Last week I had tea with Sarah Bowen Shea, one of the authors of the fabulous "Run Like a Mother" blog and book. She stopped in Bend on her book tour at The FootZone.
Sarah's a full time freelance writer and contributing editor for Runner's World and Shape magazines. She also writes for Self, the New York Times and others.
She's also the mom of an 8 year old and 5 year old twins. And she also runs marathons. Lots and lots of marathons.
Oh, and she also wrote this book with her friend Dimity McDowell, another writer/runner. Oh, and also? She is traveling around the country promoting the book and running little 5K "Fun Runs" in each city with her fans, while also training for the Big Sur Marathon.
There are so many "alsos" in Sarah's life that I almost had to take a nap during tea, just from taking so many notes. Next time I talk to her, I'm bringing an audio recorder and I'm ordering coffee.
Here's a typical Saturday for Sarah, who admits she'd like to sleep more:
1. Up at 5:45 a.m. to run 22 miles, which took her 3.5 hours (a marathon training run, she doesn't do this every day, she assures me!)
2. Breakfast and entertain family/guests visiting from out of town.
3. Quick shower (seriously, I'd need a massage and hot tub at this point!)
4. Take oldest kid to soccer game.
5. Take twins to a play.
6. Take oldest daughter to church event.
7. Prepare Easter baskets for all three kids, working from the trunk of her car, outside in the rain, so they wouldn't see.
8. Dinner for family and guests.
9. (Skipped a scheduled ladies wine night with friends. Bummer, but really...)
10. Collapse into bed.
11. The next day was Easter, a busy day at their house with friends and family.
Work days are even trickier for Sarah, because she's often on tight deadlines for all the publications. She reminds me that her running schedule would not be possible without the buy-in from her husband, who helps her juggle all of this.
How does she keep up the pace day in and day out? I asked.
"I just gotta chunk it up," she says. "I think about things in chunks of time. When I'm running 22 miles, I think in terms of the first 8 miles, the second 8 miles, then the last 6 miles. I can't worry about those first 16 miles during the last 6 miles. I don't have fresh legs during that last chunk, so I have to have a fresh mind. I do this for work, too. I have to focus on the task at hand, for that chunk of time, not worry about the before or the after."
I like Sarah's "Chunk it Up" method of time management. I should start using it. I need to stop thinking about Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream every time I hear the word Chunk, though. Or I could eat the ice cream and just start running marathons on Saturdays. Right?
I also like Sarah, and I'm hoping I can get more chunks of her time in the future. She's smart, fun, and inspiring. I want to be more like her when I grow up. I'm not sure about that whole 22 miles at 5:45 a.m. on a Saturday thing though, Chunk or no Chunk.
Here are a few pictures from Sarah's FootZone tour stop in Bend, Oregon, for your viewing pleasure. There are more on their Facebook Fan Page, and if Sarah or Dimity came to your town, I'm sure we'd all love to see your pictures, so post 'em!
After a quick social mingle in the store where I met some adorable babies in strollers, and their mothers, we went outside for a picture before we started our fun run.
The sun was out, we were a relaxed group of runners, clumping together at first, then settling into comfortable pace where everyone went at their own speeds and found others who matched their pace.
For the record, I came in last place. It didn't bother me, and it was fun, because I ran with a friend and we chatted the whole time, which is one of my specialties. Also, trying to be first in a race stresses me out, so I let Sarah win.
The fact that Sarah often runs 18 miles for her marathon training runs at an average pace of 9 minutes and 49 seconds (or something) and I usually run 3 miles at an average of 11-12 minutes, really has nothing to do with it.

Later, after a leisurely day of work for me, an easy dinner and a long shower, I went back to the FootZone (and their famous "Wall of Shoes") and listened to Sarah read excerpts from Run Like A Mother.
My favorite chapter Sarah read from was about the fine art of discreet peeing during long training runs (behind bushes, parked cars, anywhere, really) and I truly appreciated the helpful hint about how convenient those fun little running skirts are for this little problem. I'd never thought of them as easy access potty skirts. I wondered why people thought they were such a good idea.
Here's the truth about Sarah's book: I have a confession to make. I got so busy talking after the book signing (big surprise, I know) that I totally forgot to buy a book, and now I have to go get one so I can have an excuse to spend a whole Chunk of time reading it.
And then, I'll do a book review!
April 09, 2010
8:27
"I Made You Jump and Down!"
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: White house [edit]

I went to Washington DC a couple of weeks ago, after my trip to the FitBloggin Conference. I was only there for a day, but managed to meet some old friends and some new friends. I'm lucky that way.
It was a chilly Tuesday morning in DC, and I was standing in front of the White House when I called my Twitter friend @NewMediaJim. I'd never met Jim, but I talk to him on Twitter which seems like real life, sometimes.
Jim's a very busy man, over at Verge New Media and I wasn't sure if I'd get to meet him on this trip or not, so I didn't want to get my hopes up. It turns out, he was just down the street in front of a Starbucks when I called, and through modern technology and excessive arm waving, we found each other.
Jim bought me some coffee and a hard boiled egg and we talked about Old Media and New Media and how everything changes and we have to change with it or we just end up stuck sitting around in the same old place wondering what to do next.
I get the feeling Jim isn't stuck. His life moves even faster than mine (amazing, but true) which is why I had to jump up and down in front of the White House just to get his attention. But it was worth it, just to meet Jim. Plus, I got some extra cardio in to boot, right?
Ah, the power of the internets...it's so great to meet other goof balls in real life. Makes me feel almost normal.
April 07, 2010
14:55
Running with Inga the Wolf Dog: he loves me, I swear it
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: roxanne [edit]

I went running around the Deschutes River Trail in Bend today with Roxanne (not her real name) and her dog Inga (not his real name.) Roxanne runs faster than me, so I usually bring my camera.
Roxanne is a professional photographer, so it's easy to make her stop every half mile and take a picture of me, which allows me to catch my breath.
I love Inga the dog, but he's shy. Roxanne says he perked up when he saw me today which means he likes me, but I saw him perk up near a bush, and then I didn't feel so special. She said he loves bushes, too.
Sometimes it takes a while for Inga to warm up to me, but eventually, if Roxanne allows it, he'll let me hold his leash.
"I think you are stifling him," I said to Roxanne. "Clearly he needs a change of pace. He wants to run with me, obviously." She gave me his leash when he was busy watching a duck. I thought he might not notice.
"Look, Roxanne," I said, "he's fine. No need to worry. Inga and I are friends now, see?"
"He is not embarrassed, Roxanne," I said. "Inga is thrilled to be with me. Thrilled! I've never seen him so happy. Can we run again tomorrow?"
"Maybe," says Roxanne. "I'll call you after his therapy session. He may need a little quiet time tomorrow to regroup. Nothing personal. It's not you, it's him."
Dogs are so fickle.
April 06, 2010
16:22
@juliejulie. Mannequin. Vegas. U2.
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: the bloggess [edit]

This doesn't have anything to do with being chubby, a mommy, or running.
This is just me being weird, scoring some great tickets to U2 in Vegas, putting my mannequin on an airplane, and making my best friend come along for the ride. I wrote a story about the Francine goes to Vegas adventure a while ago, but there's just something about video...
I thought you'd want to watch.
Also, if you strolled over here from The Bloggess's blog, this one's for you people. I figure you're used to weird stuff, and you're funny. And really, a handless mannequin from the 1960's isn't nearly as weird as a line of Christmas cards based on a taxiderm-ied boar's head. Right?
Thanks for visiting Chubby Mommy Running Club, where you never know what I might come up with next, which is why you should keep coming back.
April 04, 2010
9:17
The Easter Bunny vs. Quaker Oats Guy
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: easter [edit]

They are fighting for my very soul, I think. Who will win today? I need the Quaker Oats Guy to go all Ninja on my secret boyfriend, Mr. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Do you think he can win? Will the cashews step up and help him? If the jelly beans side with Mr. Reese's, I could be in trouble. Stay tuned.
April 03, 2010
12:26
The Long Run
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: running Partners [edit]

A funny thing happened today while I was running with a friend I haven't seen in a while. I ran 7 miles. In a row. That's the longest distance I've run in many, many years.
Sure, we walked a bit here and there on a few hills, and stopped for about 5 minutes to get some water, but the fact is, I ran 7 miles from start to finish.
It was the talking that did it. We had so much to catch up on, so many stories to tell, that we just kept going. I've been quite busy lately, and more than a bit lax about my running routine (I went twice last week, 2-3 miles a pop), so I was surprised that my body allowed this distance.
My legs and my lungs did start protesting at around 3 miles, like usual, but I was right in the middle of a good story about my recent adventures at the FitBloggin Conference, so I distracted my legs from themselves.
The protests were ignored. I hate to interrupt a good story.
I bet I can do a lot of stuff I don't think I can do, if I just keep distracting myself from the hard work by telling good stories and hanging out with fun people. It's worth a shot.
April 01, 2010
11:15
Is There a Chubby Mommy Inside?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: flip videos [edit]
10:02
Welcome Footzone!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: running Club [edit]

Our newest sponsor here at Chubby Mommy Running Club is the Footzone store in Bend, Oregon.
Teague Hatfield, the owner, has a passion for running, but as the married father of two young kids, he wants women everywhere to know that there's no "typical" runner out there - you don't have to be a marathoner to enjoy running or join a local community of like-minded runners.
Footzone's Learn to Run classes have been a smashing success, and he's had to cap each session out at 150 people. But don't worry, new sessions start all the time.
I shot this short video of him telling me "There's a Chubby Mommy in all of us" yesterday, and I'm trying to figure out how to load it up here in the body of this post without crashing. For now, you'll have to click through to my YouTube channel. Ideas?
March 29, 2010
19:12
5K in Baltimore: In Which My New BFF Dumps Me for a Cute Guy at Fitbloggin
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: baltimore [edit]

So anyway, back to the total drama island of Fitbloggin-10 and my new best friend Fitarella, who's even cuter in person, actually. And taller.
When we left this story, I was in my hotel room in Baltimore alone at 10:00 p.m., eating flank steak and vegetables, watching CNN, texting my kids, and too exhausted to even order vodka from the bar downstairs.
So that tells you something right there.
It's a glamorous life, traveling to obscure conferences and writing about them, but someone's gotta live it. Thank god I have a Flip Video now, so I can record it for you, too.
Oh, and about the videos from Fitbloggin? There's been some sort of computer error here at my house and all the videos I downloaded from Baltimore disappeared. It's temporary I'm sure. But let me say, there were some lovely 20 second spots of cute women boxing, and even some nice ones of the adorable people from EA Games playing the new stuff from WiiFit. I'm serious.
So anyway, I finally went to sleep at about 11:00 p.m. and then got up at 5:30 a.m. which was actually 2:30 in Oregon, for the record, in order to run the Fitbloggin 5K race at 6:30 a.m.
You may remember that I sort of set myself up for this problem, by telling everyone I was going to run this thing. I even said this on the news, which aired about 6 times one day in Bend, Oregon. So I had to do it. My trainer Luann over at Training for Fun would have killed me if I'd skipped (or she would have made do wall sits for an hour -same thing.)
I Found HerSo I got to the lobby with the other 98 women and 4 men who got up early to run,, and lo and behold, there was Fitarella, right in the middle of everyone. She's hard to miss, despite her petiteness. Her energy filled the whole entire hallway of the Marriott.
It was friend at first sight.
We hugged and gabbed and flitted around and she said sure, sure, I'll run with you, don't worry, I'm not very fast either. And then we all listened to the cute New Balance Guy who was helping organize the race, who told us about some new shoes, and the route we were running, and then we went outside and started to run.
New Balance was smart to send that cute Guy, I think. We all followed him and I love my new shoes. Just sayin'.
The RaceThe sun was just starting to rise as we ran along the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. It was actually quite lovely and I sort of felt like a "real" runner with all those people chatting and running and being social. I usually don't like races because I don't like pressure when I exercise, and the word race just seems so...pressure-filled.
Fitarella stayed with me, and we talked about stuff like where do you live? What do you do? Do you have kids? You know...stuff you should know about your BFF. Oh, and then she told me she was a marathoner. And was training for Boston.
Oh really? Huh. I'm not, I said. But she kept running with me anyway.
She Found The GuySo we got to the halfway point, which was at the end of the dock at the harbor, and Cute New Balance Guy was there, and I asked him to take a picture of us. It wasn't just so we could stop, or say hello to him in person. I swear.
Fitarella started chatting with him about different shoe models. Because she's a serious runner. She even knew the numbers of the shoes. I didn't realize shoes had numbers, because I'm more of a hobbyist, I guess.
We all started running again, but sure enough, soon enough, Fitarella and New Balance Guy were sort of, you know, speeding up. Without thinking about it, probably. They were just engrossed in conversation, about different shoe numbers, that's all.
I kept up for a while, and she did come back to check on me when I stopped to tie my shoe (again, I was not stopping on purpose or anything...really, it's not like I was tired. It was a safety issue.) But then we all started running again and well...you know how it goes.
It's so easy to get distracted by beauty. And conversation. And numbers. I decided to just let them go.
I could have sped up. I could have stayed with them. I wasn't too tired, for real. Despite appearances to the contrary, I'm actually very comfortable running a 5K. Just so you know. I usually run between 3-5 miles several times a week. You know, if the weather's good. And I'm not too busy. And I can go slowly. And tie my shoes a lot. As needed.
The Other WomenBut then a funny thing happened when I decided not to catch up to Fitarella and Cute New Balance Guy. I met a lovely young woman (much younger than me!) who was running up behind me. I waited for her a bit and introduced myself. This was her first 5K, she said. She was tired, but she really wanted to finish.
My heart melted a bit because I remembered my first 5K. It was at Alton Baker Park in Eugene, Oregon a long time ago, and I was much younger and thinner then, but I was just starting to get back into running after a long break, and I was running all alone. It was labeled a "Fun Run" but it didn't seem so fun to me.
Eugene is the home of Nike. And Bowerman. And Steve Prefontaine. And Hayward Field and the Olympic Trials for Track and Field. I mean, seriously, these people are hardcore runners. Little kids wearing coordinating Nike running ensembles were passing me on the bike path as I lumbered along.
I finished close to last that day, all alone, and I felt rather discouraged. I didn't do another 5K or a long, long time.
So I ran with this woman who kept saying quietly to herself every once in a while "You can do this. You can do this..." as I chatted enough to distract her, to keep her going. I told her it was fine to walk, she shouldn't feel pressured to run the whole way...but she didn't want to walk. She wanted to run it all the way. It was a goal she'd set.
I reminded her to use her arms a bit, if her legs got tired, it always helped me for some reason. Oh, she said, that's a good idea. And she did.
So I kept talking, which I'm good at, and she kept running, and pretty soon we were almost there, almost there, just around the corner, I promise. Despite being left in the dust by my new BFF and Cute Boy, I still knew the way back to the hotel.
We even picked up another first time 5K runner about 3 blocks from the hotel, and she was also talking to herself quietly, so thrilled to be so close, so proud of herself for actually doing it, wanting to make it all the way...she was so happy to run with us. She told us her story in two quick blocks.
The EndAnd then, amazingly, we made it. And everyone cheered, and these women I had been running with were so proud of themselves. They high-fived all around. They were beaming. And I was too. I was so thrilled for them.
Fitarella was there, waving at us from the finish line. We all felt good, like you usually do after you exercise, which is the real reason you exercise (at least that's why I do it.) The during never feels as good as the end, in my opinion.
It hit me then, when I was hugging my new running partners and congratulating them on a job well done, that maybe this is why I should run 5K's. Not because I like the actual race, but because I like to hang out with people who are working hard to achieve personal goals.
I'm glad I got up and went to the race that day. I enjoyed the journey. I think I'll do it again.
March 28, 2010
13:06
Just Peachy -Eating and Cooking with @juliejulie
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: protein [edit]
Don't worry, we'll get back to Fitarella and the New Balance boy in a bit, but first I want to tell you what I did with my frozen peaches.
I usually don't talk about what I eat and how far I did or did not run here on this blog, but the fact is, I have lost weight through careful diet and exercise this past year, and some of you are asking for ideas about food.
I do like good food, and I get tired of eating the same 15 things that help me stay on track with my health and fitness goals. So, welcome to my weird little food section here at Chubby Mommy Running Club. Please send me your ideas, and I'll share some of mine.
I also started @twitrecipes over on Twitter and I need to start updating again. I'm happy to link to your recipes! You can send me links in comments or via email or my Facebook Fan Page if you aren't on Twitter.
Some of you may remember when I worked with Cathy Sassin of Intrafit, a well respected sports nutritionist who is also an ultra marathoner and was on American Gladiator once. Her food plan really works and I saw results right away.
I still follow it loosely and continue to lose slowly but surely, if I work out and measure everything. But I'm also a big fan of real life and balance and I'm in this healthy lifestyle thing for the long run. So, I'm about 80% careful about food, and enjoy my other 20%.
Here's how I eat, in general:
- I try to eat a small, balanced 400 calorie meal every 3-4 hours. Balanced means some carbs, protein and a little fat. The combo keeps my blood sugar even. Nuts, egg yolks, olive oil, etc. are all fats. Hint: if I cut out fat, I get really, really hungry within 2 hours and tend to crash. Other hint: it's all about portion control. Read the label. 1/4 cup of nuts isn't much, people.
- I've had good luck with natural products like Cliff's Builder's protein bars, which offer 270 calories of decent, balanced carbs, protein and fat with natural ingredients, when I'm busy, traveling, etc. I eat one in the morning for breakfast, 1.5 to 2 hours before I exercise.
- I don't eat much refined sugar, although I always choose real sugar over artificial sweeteners. I don't like how aspartame tastes, and I don't like how I feel when I eat it.
- I don't drink soda, diet or otherwise. I do like Dry Soda and buy it for parties, but in general, we don't drink soda very often. We do buy the kids regular soda (they like 7Up and Dr. Pepper!) for special occasions and let them drink it at restaurants. I think of it like dessert.
- I drink lots of water. I don't drink much juice. I'm not anti-juice, I'd just rather have fiber with my fruit and not waste calories. Water is my main beverage.
- Right now I'm avoiding wheat and dairy. I've gone on and off both of these for years. I have a bit of an immune system reaction to them which flares up every 5 or 6 years when my hormones change for the next round of life. For me this means I get a sore throat, swollen glands and feel over the top exhausted within 20 minutes of eating the offending foods. My 44 year old perimenopausal brain was feeling especially foggy a few months ago, so I cut these foods out again and within 2 weeks I felt back to normal. A little bit here and there is fine now, but I don't eat a bowl of cereal every morning any more.
- I'm usually not a big vitamin taker, but since I cut out wheat and dairy I started a multi vitamin and a calcium supplement.
- I eat a lot of lean meat and vegetables. It's just what works for me. I do cook vegetarian because I have a kid who's veggie, so I'm cool with it. I respect vegetarians, but I'm a carnivore, so please don't try to convert me.
Ok, on to the recipe. I made this up this morning. I improvised with what we had lying around, and I don't really measure. And yes, I used some sugar and some flour, but not much. Also, I just ate a very small portion, but my kids chowed down and even my picky husband liked this.
Use protein powder or soy flour to add more protein if needed to make this a meal, or serve it with some Morningstar Farms Veggie sausages, a good source of lower fat protein, and one of my kid's favorites.
@juliejulie's Baked Peach Thingy
Ingredients:
Cream cheese (you could also use extra firm tofu or Tofutti cream cheese)Brown SugarOatmealPeachesFlourEggs or Egg White ProductCoconut
1. Mix 1/2 cup of cream cheese with a little brown sugar and enough oatmeal to bind it together (1/2 cup?) I used lowfat cream cheese this time, I'd probably use less if it were regular strength.
2. Sprinkle some brown sugar and oatmeal in bottom of a glass baking dish
3. Lay some sliced peaches on top
4. Use half the cream cheese mixture and drop it in little blobs on top of peaches
5. Sprinkle more sugar and oatmeal on top
6. Lay some more peaches on top of that
7. Sprinkle flour on top of that layer (rice flour, soy flour, whatever) this will make everything hold together as it cooks. It's science.
8. Pour some liquid egg mixture on top of all of it and let it sink in (I use Trader Joe's "Just Whites" or Costco's "Real Egg" Product, but you could use real eggs mixed with a bit of milk, too.)
9. Top off with the rest of the cream cheese mixture, more brown sugar and oatmeal and some coconut. Yum. We like coconut.
10. Bake at 350' for 45 minutes, or until hot and not too runny in the middle. I covered it in foil for a while, then took it off at the end to get the top crispy.
11. Let it cool, maybe a half hour if you can wait that long.
I was going to take a picture but I forgot, and this thing disappeared in about 6 minutes.
Yay for peaches!
March 26, 2010
5:56
FitBloggin Conference #1
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: baltimore [edit]

I went to Baltimore for the Fitbloggin Conference last weekend, and then on to Washington DC. It was a whirlwind trip, and my head is still spinning a bit. I've decided to break the journey down for you in small steps and small posts because I've never been a big marathoner. I'm more of a 5k-er.
If I tell you several small stories, maybe eventually you'll see the big picture. And you won't be so tired at the end. And then you can tell me what the big picture is. Hopefully. There may or may not be a quiz. Also, there will be video, as soon as I figure out how to load my flip videos onto my laptop without crashing it.
First of all, let me just say this: I started this blog as a hobby back in 2007 to learn about blogging. I never really intended for it to be a "fitness blog," it was just a place to write little stories about my life. But it turns out fitness is a big part of my life, even though I treat it like a hobby, too.
Now, three years later, I'm used to my blog, I know what it's about (me, me, me of course, and my journey through middle aged angst with humor and a bit of running) and other people are noticing it, like book agents, and asking me to think bigger. And I like to think bigger. Big thinking is my specialty.
So I went to the conference to meet other fitness writers like Mizfit Online and a few sponsors like New Balance who gave us shoes and POM (POM gave us martinis!) and authors like Jennette Fulda of Half-Assed fame and food gurus like David Grotto who think big.
First, I spent a few weeks working with my friend Luann at Training for Fun getting my knee in shape for the Fitbloggin 5k run and I even let everyone watch me do sit ups on TV Which was embarrassing, by the way, because of the tummy bulging thing. But I'll do almost anything to be on TV. Almost.
The core strength training thing with Luann really worked though. My knee stopped hurting and I even lost some inches in the process, mainly around my bust, which is typical, but irritating. But at least I had a good excuse to buy cute new bras. Bonus.
So last Thursday I drove my kids 7 hours to Seattle to stay with a host of aunts and uncles while I was gone. I ran around Green Lake, hung out with relatives, ate marvelous food, slept for 5 hours, then got up at 4:30 a.m. Friday to fly across the country.
I finally landed in Baltimore at 6:00 p.m. Friday, just in time for the cocktail party where I immediately met some online buddies like Deb Roby of Weight for Deb and brand new friends: Kara of Fat Woman on the Mountain and Mandi of Trainer Momma and Lisa Johnson . I'm good at that meeting people stuff. It's one of my not-so-secret talents.
But the whole night, I kept searching for my new best friend, Fitarella. I had met her briefly at The Audience Conference in New York in November, but didn't realize she was a fitness blogger. Which is weird, since her name is Fitarella. But it's also Jacqueline, which I kept forgetting during this trip because I know everyone by their twitter or blog names.
And back in New York I didn't realize how funny Fitarella is because our meeting was so brief. We were introduced, she smiled, said hello, and then she left. So elusive. I'm surprised she didn't leave a perfect glass slipper at the bar in New York.
So I asked several people at the Fitbloggin cocktail party if they'd seen Fitarella, and many said yes, she had been there, but then had disappeared. Mysteriously.
I checked Twitter and saw she was looking for me (she claimed, in several well timed posts) but it was all a bit wild goose-chase-ish. And then her phone died. And then mine did.
Again with the elusive.
So finally, I gave up, went to my room, ordered room service, and went to bed.
Next post: finding Fitarella and the cute New Balance Boy.
March 21, 2010
16:16
Running with a View
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: luann [edit]

I ran around Green Lake when I was in Seattle last Thursday evening. It's a great community gathering spot, in the middle of the city, where all kinds of people, babies and dogs cruise along a wide path that circles the lake in pursuit of exercise and conversation.
I'm impressed with myself for making it all the way around, as you can see by the expression on my face. I think the ducks are impressed with me too. You can't see their expressions, but I did, and they were smiling. One of them may have winked, which is duck language for "good job." They can't really high five (they'd fall over) so they wink. I read it in a book once.
Now that my knee doesn't hurt any more (thanks to my trainer Luann at Training for Fun) I'm actually enjoying running a bit more. Hard to believe, I know. I especially enjoy running in nice weather, with a view.
Actively seeking new views. Where's your favorite place to run?
March 11, 2010
13:01
Running with Inga
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: running in the woods [edit]

Dear Roxanne: Can Inga come running with me today? I think he likes me.
Dear Julie: No. Inga and I are lost in the woods right now. I need him to find our way home. He is sniffing the air, he can't talk to you.
Dear Roxanne: Well, how about tomorrow? You don't have to come with us, if you're busy, I could just take him.
Dear Julie: No. He is a shy dog, and only likes me. Sorry.
Dear Roxanne: But, I miss him.
Dear Julie: I didn't want to tell you this, but Inga hates you.
Dear Roxanne: That' not true, Roxanne. Clearly you are jealous of Inga and me. We are just friends, I swear.
Dear Julie: I am happy to continue running with you, but please stop calling Inga. He has moved away. To a nice cabin in the woods, actually, which we are trying to find right now. Do not try to contact him. I'm taking his tracking collar off now.
Dear Roxanne: Fine.
Dear Julie: Fine.
Dear Roxanne: Can you still run Friday?
Dear Julie: Maybe. I'll call you. But don't call me, Inga gets agitated when he hears your voice.
Dear Roxanne: He does not. You're being dramatic.
Dear Julie: I have to go now. You should go running with Luann. She seems nice.
March 10, 2010
20:26
Astrid's skirt
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]
March 08, 2010
15:32
Chubby Mommy and Perky Mommy, the Movie
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]

Here is Luann over at Training for Fun and me, in all our glory. We are being featured on KBNZ's Media Minute today (KOIN, channel 6 in Portland and Bend, airs 7 times today!) which profiles interesting people and businesses in Bend, Oregon. This is quite flattering, if you think about it, because at least someone thinks we're interesting.
Here's the video: Chubby Mommy and Perky Mommy - Look! We're working out in this video - for real! It's not even staged! We're super natural and fun! Just like usual!

Here's what's not flattering: my stomach, doing sit ups. I'd like to blame Brandon, the camera man, but he's not the one who made my chubby tummy. I guess I am the one who made it. I guess I have to keep doing sit ups.
Thanks for watching.
March 06, 2010
9:58
The Dark Side of Crunches: Wendy Has a Knife
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: beer run [edit]

Today's post brought to you by the delightfully dark, hilarious writer of the blog "There Once Was a Girl" Wendy started running, and should be an inspiration to 40 year old moms everywhere. She even does crunches on balls. And she makes her cat work out on the treadmill.
I’m new to this whole fitness thing. Six months before my 40^th birthday, my body decided it was time to fail me and one day I woke up lumpy. I finally got boobs, but I also got thighs, a belly, and I those flappy skin parts under my upper arms when I raise my hands. The ultimate horror was buying a mom swimsuit that provides modest coverage. ‘Modest coverage’ is code for ‘too round for an adorable bikini,’ but they don’t put that on the tags. I decided I have to get in shape.
I started by turning the $800 coat rack into a treadmill. Crazy, I know. I started walking and it was deceptively easy. If I can walk, then I should be able to run, right? Yes, I can run. I can also lick my armpits, but that doesn’t mean I will. I hate running. I have a series of words mostly starting with ‘f’ that I say each time I slam my foot on the treadmill. It doesn’t make running easier, but it makes me feel better. Try it – “eff this, eff that.” Repeat. I’m trying to eventually run a 5k with my kid that actually likes running. I’m pretty sure he’s not mine. He’s only 13, so I need to find him a fake ID, because I’ve decided that the Beer Run in June is for me. Beer after every mile? Probably the best idea ever.
Running alone won’t get rid of the belly, so I do crunches and other bad things. I bought an exercise ball, because I was told they’re great for ab work. I flopped myself on my back across the ball and did a couple of test crunches and I didn’t roll off. Yay! Someone invented an easy way to do crunches! I crunched and crunched and crunched.
Unused muscles started screaming an hour later. I wasn’t going to let that ball get the best of me, so I did it again the next day. At the time I was watching Netflix Instant with a kid, so I couldn’t bring out the “eff this, eff that.” I’d have cried, but it would have hurt my tender ripped abs too much. I thought about crying instead. Natural childbirth might not have been as painful as trying to lift the upper half of my body. Exercise balls should come with percocet or vicodin or tequila.
Through trial and error and excruciating pain, I’m figuring out a way to make this exercise stuff work. While on the ball, I plot its hideous death. Today it might be gutted with a fork, and tomorrow I could hold it over a flame or snip it with rusty nail clippers soaked in lemon juice and salt. As for the treadmill, I have a chubby cat that will do anything for a treat. He’s learning to take over my treadmill duties. I hope he works hard so I’ll be ready for the Beer Run. I’ll need that beer to conquer weight lifting.
March 05, 2010
15:10
A Guy Wearing Uggs?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: train For fun [edit]

Dear Julie,
I cannot possibly run today as I saw a guy wearing Ugg boots
at a coffee shop this morning.
XXOO,
Roxanne

Dear Roxanne,
Good lord, I'm so sorry you had to see that. I hope you are in bed with a cold compress. Call me tomorrow when the image leaves your head. We can run as soon as you are able.
Love,
@juliejulie

P.S. This is a picture of me and Brandon, the Reporter from KOPV/KOIN who did a story on me and my new trainer, Luann. Don't worry, Roxanne, he was not wearing Uggs, I just wanted to remind you to watch TV on Monday, channel 6, to see how cute Luann is. I'm afraid I will look chubby on TV, so I posted this picture as proof that with good lighting and proper angles, I can look 20 pounds thinner.
March 03, 2010
12:51
How I Got Hot and Bothered in Snow Shoes
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Winter Sports [edit]

So I went snowshoeing. And it was easy, and it was fun. It was also a major workout, which frankly, I wasn't really expecting. But it's more fun than being on a treadmill.
Also, there's incentive to keep going when you're snow shoeing, because if you stop half way through, you'll freeze to death if you don't walk back to the car again. Winter sports are extreme like that.
When I went down to the snow shoe rental place last night, I told the guy I was a novice and he should give me "beginner" snow shoes.
"No such thing," he said. "Can you walk?"
"Well, yes," I stammered, "didn't you see me walk in here?"
"If you can walk, you can snow shoe. You'll be fine."
So I trusted him. And gave him $12. And then he gave me some lovely powder blue snow shoes.
My friend Patrice picked me up this morning at 8:30 on the dot. She's my bookkeeper, and tends to be exact. Which is a good thing for bookkeepers. We picked up Renee next (who has a cute pink coat and photographs well) and drove to the snow park, just 10 minutes away from my house, to miles and miles of well marked trails.
You'd think I'd go snow shoeing every day, since I live so close and I like the snow and I'm good at walking, but there's a first time for everything, even for people who live in a winter wonderland like Bend, OR.
We put on our snowshoes in the parking lot, looked at the map to make sure we wouldn't get lost, and then started hiking over the hills and through the woods, following the little blue snow shoe guy signs.
In no time at all, we were huffing and puffing and saying "Why am I so tired? This seems like it should be so easy, we're just walking!"
So then I thought up some scientific answers that had to do with the width of the snow shoe making our legs do physics they weren't used to doing, which made the muscles we didn't know we had work on obscure things, like picking up a snow shoe and putting it down again. As we were walking.
Everyone believed me, and then we got to the shelter and sat down in the recliner that someone must have hauled in, probably on skis, or with a snow mobile, to rest. It seems like it'd be too hard to carry something this heavy while walking in snow shoes. But that's just me being lazy, I guess.
We had lunch, then we hiked back to the parking lot.
That's it. The whole thing took less than 3 hours from door to door, including lunch and dropping the shoes back at the rental place. The best news? I felt sufficiently worked out enough to eat a piece of bacon for lunch as a reward.
Let this be a lesson to you. If you go snowshoeing, you get to eat bacon.
The end.
P.S. I posted more pictures on Facebook, since for some reason Blogger only wants me to post one picture per post these days, which means I may have to switch this whole entire operation over to WordPress. That'll show it. Sheesh.
March 02, 2010
19:31
Train for Fun #2: Look, I'm Flying!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: luann [edit]

So I had my second day of "fun" with Luann Abrams at Training for Fun. Actually, I should take the quotes off the word fun, because it was fun. I mean, look - I even learned to fly on this Bosu ball.
I swear to god that ball will be the death of me.
Anyway, this morning, almost every muscle in my body was saying "Oh, hi, we hurt. You should take a nap instead of going back to that cute perky girl who talks you into doing 'plank' on that squishy ball over and over."
But I ignored them. Because if left to their own devices, my muscles would deteriorate into nothing and I would be like warm Jello with bones in the middle, instead of shredded carrots.
It's true.
February 28, 2010
17:25
Train for Fun
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: luann [edit]

As you may know, my knee's been bugging me again, and as much as I hate to admit it, I know that running a bit less and strengthening my "core" will help me avoid this little overuse problem I deal with over and over again.
Because apparently, I just need to calm down and admit that I'm not built like a runner, and not everyone has to run a marathon and I should just enjoy exercising as a hobby.
As if. The idea of running 26 miles in.a.row. makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Just sayin'.

So anyway, I'm doing a little trade with my friend Luann Abrams, a personal trainer who just started her new blog: Training for Fun. She swore to me that I could get a good workout with her, that I'd see some real results in a few weeks, and that it would be fun.
It was like a dare, really, so I had to say yes.
So this morning I went to her lovely training studio, which is in a room in her lovely house, featuring cheerful lemon yellow walls, a few hand weights, a treadmill, a yoga mat and some big rubber balls. I saw a Kettlebell in the closet and I almost had an anxiety attack, but thank goodness, she didn't make me use it. She probably will next time, now that I said that.
Dang it.
She did make me use one of those Bosu Balance ball trainer thingys, which is like a big rubber ball cut in half that you have to balance on. She's demonstrating how to use it in this picture. I tried it, and my legs shook like Jello and I almost fell over. That thing is evil. Just sayin'. More on that later.
So we did our first workout. And it was actually fun. And I'm not just saying that.
The thing about Luann is, she's funny and cheerful and all positive and stuff, but she's also smart. In fact, she's so smart that she was actually an aeronautical engineer for a long time before she took some time off to have her little boy, who's a toddler now.
This means she knows about physics and things, which makes it very difficult for me to cheat on exercises. Trust me on this. She'll say stuff, when you're on your side, balancing on your elbow like, "Okay, now raise your arm up like this," and then I'll say "But, that's impossible!" and she'll say, "No, actually, it's not." And you can't really argue with her, because she's right.
Sheesh.
I have to admit I went in to the session thinking it would probably be fun but, you know...light. As in, I'll do a few sit ups and stuff but I should go running afterwards. Turns out it was a full body workout, despite the lack of obvious jumping jacks or running in place, or those other obvious cardio things I've been known to dread at bootcamp type workouts.
Luann's all into "functional fitness" which means you do cardio while you're working on muscles. Translation? I was sweaty and tired at the end. But I laughed a lot.
And it was fun. I'm not kidding. And now I have to go back on Tuesday. Which is a good thing. Because I like Luann. But I'm going to pretend I'm allergic to the Kettlebell.
February 27, 2010
15:25
Please Pray for My Knee
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: runners knee [edit]

Dear Roxanne,
Thank you for yet another delightful excuse that I will eventually work into my blogging efforts in order to generate more popularity, for myself, in order to further brand myself as a person who is clever enough to surround herself with smart, funny people who, like herself, can find 6 reasons not to run, even before breakfast (which is a lazy literary reference to the White Queen talking to Alice about doing 6 impossible things before breakfast, which I inserted to show you, and the world that my degree in English has not been wasted, but instead has made me a better writer. Although, to be truthful, I did not learn that quote in college, but instead actually delivered the line on stage my Jr. year in high school when I was, in fact cast as the White Queen in the school play. Also, that was the same year I won the outstanding "newcomer" award for the drama department, since it was the first play I'd auditioned for in high school, and the drama teacher thought I was brilliant. Unfortunately, he had a nervous breakdown the next year and was replaced by the English teacher who chose to cast me in smaller roles from then on, perhaps as a way to prove that he was not crazy, or that I should stick to writing, and maybe grow up to be like him. Also, I am not bitter.)
As you know, surrounding myself with clever people is my job, even though it's not a real job in the real world sense of "jobs" but it is, in fact, a made up job which I hope to some day to monetize, if only to justify it as a reason to get up in the morning.
And also, the actual funny people I hang out with are nice, and I like to have coffee with them, which is another reason to get up in the morning. Not that I have to look for reasons to get up, that's not what I'm saying. Because I am not now currently, nor have I ever had a real nervous breakdown even though I was a drama teacher a very long time ago. I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet, anyway. I did try once, but my husband wouldn't let me. He said I had to get out of bed since there was so much that had to be done that day.
Meanwhile, about the running: I did, truly, have to take 3 days off from all activities involving my knee, including running, walking, swimming, and of course, cleaning the house. Much too taxing, all. I mean, seriously, I was limping my way through loading the dishwasher, and laundry was just out of the question.
But today I woke up and my knee didn't hurt. At all. It's the weirdest thing. The pain was just gone. I don't know why, it's sort magic, actually, and the only thing I can think of is that somebody must have prayed for me while I was sleeping and then God, or maybe Jesus, just healed my knee. Which is just such a cool thing, if you think about it. So I walked about 5 miles to celebrate, and now, well my knee does hurt a bit, but I'm not worried, because I think Jesus will heal it again. I mean, why wouldn't he?
So, even though I forgot to ask you about your religious affiliation before, that one time when we ran, I was wondering if you could pray for my knee. Even if you're not into Jesus, I don't think it really matters. I think he's pretty good about taking all prayers, as long as you say his name first. Otherwise he won't know you're praying to him. It's like a metatag, I think. He probably has an RSS feed. Or something.
If my knee is healed again by Monday, would you like to run then? Please let me know.
Love,
@juliejulie
February 24, 2010
16:25
I'm Going to FitBloggin!
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: fitbloggin [edit]

As strange as it may sound to some of my friends, I'm excited to get on a plane and fly to Baltimore next month. I'm going to FitBloggin-10, a conference by, for and about fitness bloggers. I'm going to meet my people.
I've been blogging about life, exercise and middle-aged angst since 2007 here at Chubby Mommy Running Club. In fact, here's my first post.
This has been a delightful place to share stories about all sorts of things. Turns out there are hundreds of other people doing the same thing, and now I get to meet them and swap ideas and stories, meet sponsors and talk to other writers and book publishers. It's all good.
There's a 5K "Fun Run" on Sunday, after the conference, which I suppose I should try. For fun. And I won't cry. I haven't done any sort of race in ages, so I will spend the next few weeks trying to see if I can run consistently without overdoing it and hurting myself. Trickier than it sounds for this type A over-achiever. I'll keep you posted.
Also there is a yoga party at this conference, apparently, but I might have to skip it since I'm a yoga dropout.
I'm going to spend the next few weeks reading a bunch of new fitness blogs, so I'll pass on some fun ones to you, dear readers. And please feel free to send me any links to other stuff you think I should read.
Love,
@juliejulie
13:22
I Can't Go Running If I Have to Go Skiing
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Mt. Bachelor [edit]

This Picture of Mt. Bachelor in Bend, Oregon from Lodging4Vacations.com
Dear Roxanne,

Can you run tomorrow, as we planned? You sort of promised, remember? I have a meeting at 7:30 in the morning, but we could go at 10:00. Except I might have coffee with my other running partner (instead of running with her, which happens a lot) so maybe we should say 11:30 or 12:00. I hope it isn't going to rain because I really hate that.
Love,

@juliejulie

Dear Julie,

I would say MY day is all about the weather. Because I have sacrificed my LIFE for the school auction these past few weeks, with that DEMANDING Lori boss I had, and I'm afraid my ski pass is screaming for attention, and I simply MUST reply if the weather is good. If it is not so good, yes, Inga and I run in all wether, so a 'nooner' would be great. But I am afraid MY schedule in the next few weeks will be ALL ABOUT the weather and my 12 day SKI PASS. Do you like how I am using capital letters emphasize certain thoughts, as simple as they are?.

You are my funniest running partner as well. We cannot stop - ever. Untill we both move away of course!

YOUR PAL

Roxanne

Dear Roxanne,

First of all - I wish I had a ski pass but I haven't skied in forever and a day and up until 2 weeks ago I didn't want to spend the money. But now that some checks have come through maybe I can, but maybe it's too late in the season and I'm so bad at skiing since I haven't done it in so long that it could be a terrible, terrible waste of money.

Second - I'm going snow shoeing with my bookkeeper next Wednesday (the one featured in the blog post about the running vest that looks a bit like a suicide bomber vest, which isn't funny at all and I was not trying to make a joke about that, I was just trying to make a joke about how vain I am, but I fear perhaps just saying the word suicide bomber is not so good) and you're cordially invited. To the snow shoeing. And maybe Lori should come too since we still adore her despite her ability to organize us and raise money for good causes.

In fact, maybe I should get a Flip Video and we could film the snowshoeing adventure, because Lori's so adorable, she'd get us more hits to the blog. Oops, if I buy a flip camera, I’d use up the money for my non-existent ski pass. But still, you get the sacrifice I'm making, right? Good. Thought so. It's all about the blog, really.

So call me if you don't go skiing so we can run. Call, don't Facebook me, because I won't get it in time, since I'll be out and about at my meeting and my coffee, with only my phone, and the email doesn't always work on my phone and the Facebook doesn't hook up to the email, which doesn't work...even though I started a woman in tech group, that should not fool you into believing I can figure out these kinds of things. I could try but then I might cry or throw the phone on the ground.

So anyway just call me if you want to run at 12:00. Okay? Please?

Alrighty then. Thanks. See you tomorrow. Assuming you're not on the mountain.

Also, it will probably be really cold and windy and stuff if you ski, but don't let that stop you, since you love to ski. Super. Love it. For real. And it's good to do things you love.

Love,

@juliejulie

Dear Roxanne,

Also, I wish you'd hurry up and stop sleeping already. It's 4:53 a.m. now on Wednesday and I'm eagerly awaiting your response so I can figure out my life today, for heavens sakes. I have stuff to do here, like write my blog post with your words and your pictures while you're wasting your life s.l.e.e.p.i.n.g.

Sheesh.

Love,

@juliejulie

Dear Roxanne,

Also do you have a picture of you and or Inga skiing? If so please send it so I can post to the blog. And I swear I will link to your site. Also please send me your link.

Love,

@juliejulie

Dear Roxanne,

Also I would like to use parts of this conversation for today's post because I'm having breakfast with the guy from Mt. Bachelor today and he should know that he needs to get me a free ski pass so I can make a movie about the mountain, which we mentioned last time we saw each, and if I finish this post before breakfast I can show him and remind him. So this is all about me. As usual.

Love,

@juliejulie

Dear Julie,

It turns out I've got a ton of 'too-real-life' stuff to deal with today. I've got to get Inga out this morning to free up my afternoon so I can’t go running at noon. And no, I don't have ANY shots of me skiing with him! Darn't! I'm never in any pictures, ‘cause I'm the one with the camera! I'm afraid you’re on your own with your blog today. Although now that I just said that, how about this for today's excuse, "I can't possibly run today as I have to pick up my 'bowel prep kit' for my upcoming colonoscopy" cocktails and reception following.....

Also Julie, I am busy next Wednesday, so no snowshoeing for me! I have to tell you, I don't snowshoe either, because I think to myself, why not put on skies and go faster! Let's run tomorrow, okay? I promise.

Love,

Roxanne

Dear Roxanne,
Fine. I went swimming instead.
Love,
@juliejulie
February 23, 2010
10:24
Does This Weight Make Me Look Fat?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: weight vest; walking Hills [edit]

Today I went walking with my bookkeeper. That's like going to coffee with your running partner instead of running. I like my bookkeeper, I just don't really like sitting at a table going through stacks of bank statements and receipts. Which is why I hired her. But apparently I still have to make the stacks for her. Whatever.
So anyway, she wanted to come early today and I said fine, but I have to go running, so you can come with me. She said fine, except she doesn't like to run. So I said we could walk hills instead, and I'd wear my weight vest. Because the extra weight helps me get stronger and it keeps my heart rate up.
The only problem is, the vest looks weird. I hate to say this, but it sorta looks like a terrorist vest to me. Those little pockets are filled with sand, not explosives, but still, I do tend to get strange looks sometimes. I've thought about putting a sign on my vest that says "This is a weight vest. I'm not a suicide bomber" but I haven't done it yet.
I'd be in better shape if I wore this vest around all the time. But I think it makes me look fat.
I'd be in better shape if I weren't so vain.
February 22, 2010
13:13
Excuse #2
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: roxanne [edit]

I cannot POSSIBLY go running until I finish this plate of donut holes. Will call later....
Roxanne
February 19, 2010
10:12
The Advantages of Having Multiple Partners
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: running Partners [edit]

Hi – I’m excited to run with you! I need more than one running partner in case one of you bails out. Also, your dog is a big plus, and your bad running pants make me feel superior. Can I use your real name in the blog? Send me a picture of your dog.

Dear Julie - I prefer to go by Roxanne for unknown reasons even to myself, and I absolutely think you should write about 'superior running pants'! You've gotta write the truth, you know? Here is my dog Inga (not his real name) waiting to go running. We measured his nose - it is 7 inches long! I went for a short 2 mile run today, because I know we are gonna be balls-to-the-walls, uber runners tomorrow, Julie. Since I am nearly 50, it is easy for me to use my age as an excuse not to run as far.

Dear Roxanne - Oh, he is a beauuuuuutiful dog. Wait, don't you have a bunch of things to do for the school auction tomorrow? Or is that Lori? Also, my knee hurts, since I am close to 50 too, and I had to walk during my run today, so I might have to put off uber running until next time.

Dear Julie - Sounds good, except you are 44, and that’s not close to 50. But as you know, I LOVE excuses either to run shorter distances, walk during runs, or not run at all. So the fact we are really going is a big plus.Lori has some things for me to do but my morning is free. She is not the boss of me.

Dear Roxanne - Let's run at 9:00, along the dirt path behind Lori’s house so we can spy on her. We'll need binoculars. Do you have some? It's only fair, since she has that huge telescope she uses to spy on people. See you tomorrow.

Dear Julie - Listen I am up at 4am, having anxiety about my new dilemma: Lori says I have to go to Staples at 9:00. Can you run after school? And yes, I want to go the spy route and watch Lori. She will probably be getting her auction wardrobe out - I would think.

Dear Roxanne – Staples seems like a good excuse. Please send a picture of you stapling something, for the blog. I am sorry to say I am booked after school with some pretty good excuses like working, ice skating, chaperoning a 5th grade dance, and taking my mannequin to a rock concert.

Dear Julie – No worries about excuses, especially mannequin excuses. I won’t ask, you don’t have to tell.

Dear Roxanne – Also, the concert thing will end up on YouTube, so I should wash my hair, and wear something besides crotchless underwear and baggy running pants, right? They are crotchless due to the naughty puppy chewing them up, not because I bought naughty undies, by the way. Can you run tomorrow?

Dear Julie – Let’s talk about tomorrow and underwear later. I’ve gotta run. To Staples, I mean. I swear we’ll go running soon, maybe, okay?
February 12, 2010
11:05
The One About Swimming
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: swimming [edit]

I'm in a rut with my running routine. Same old routes, same old songs on the playlist, same old gray, cold rain daring me to come outside and run in it, same old ankle getting twisted from stepping off the curb and acting like I should take it easy...so I started swimming again. That'll show my running. It will miss me, I bet.
I've been swimming off and on since I was 4. I'd like to blame my mother. She signed me up for lessons at Jefferson Pool in Eugene, Oregon, which was one block from our house, at the end of our bike path, in the middle of a big field. We could see it from our driveway.
The lifeguard/swim teacher was my babysitter from two doors down, and the story is, she had to peel me off my mom for the first lesson, but once I got in the pool, I was hooked. I was a chubby girl, and a good floater. Day after day, I happily dove for pennies the teachers threw into the bottom of the pool.
So technically, I got paid to swim. Which is a good deal, and I think the lifegaurds at Juniper Pool in Bend, Oregon, should throw some pennies in the lap pool everyday for motivation.
Also, you need to know that I was, and still remain, a swimming pool handstand champion. I hereby challenge anyone, anywhere to a competition in the 3-4 feet. Be warned. I have excellent toe-pointing form, and above average lung capacity.
So swimming laps for exercise is pretty easy for me, and I'll get into it for a while, but it's not like I love it. Just like I don't really love running, but I appreciate it. Mostly, I appreciate my body for being able to run without falling and swim without drowning.It's the little things I don't want to take for granted.
Here's my new orange cap and my new orange goggles I got to keep me motivated. Also, they match my suit. And, I figure I'm easy to spot in the water, so if I start drowning while trying to get the pennies, the lifeguard can find me quickly easily and save me.
I'll let you know how it goes.
February 09, 2010
15:11
Shoes in the Snow
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: bowling shoes [edit]

My son's 5th grade class had a field trip today. We walked through the woods at the end to talk about healthy forests. I loved the way everyone's shoes looked in the snow:
February 06, 2010
11:41
Back in the Groove. Sort of.
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Ice running [edit]

After a lazy month of sporadic running due to "I can't go running today" excuses involving the snow and ice, the sun came out and I finally got back in the groove, and went four times last week.
Four days of running in a week is enough to make me feel like a runner again, because my body gets over the initial complaining, and internal yelling "Torture! I hate this! I was supposed to take a nap! Can't we just go out for coffee instead?"
After four days of running, my body starts giving in, and saying "This is a good song, turn it up. Sure, I can make that hill. No promises on the next one, but this one's fine. Nice view. Nice day. Damn, I feel good."
But today it snowed. And it's not the white, fluffy, fun snow that makes you wanna frolic and sled. It's the icky, icy, slushy miserable kind of snow. The kind that makes you worry about falling, and wondering if you should buy new YakTraxs or just sit on the couch and drink tea until spring.
I should probably join a gym. It'd be nice if someone would build a gym that looks like Maui. Like a biosphere, with running trails. Or at least a hologram-ish room where it just seems like you're running along the beach at sunrise.
How hard could it be?
February 02, 2010
15:40
The New Video
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: where to eat [edit]

Just in case you didn't see this in all the usual places, here's Francine the Mannequin's newest video at Twist Pop Media. thanks for all your support!
15:34
Comments
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]

Hey everyone,
Sorry to say I've had so much spam lately that I've switched to moderated comments for now. Feel free to email me directly at julieanderson at hotmail dot com if you're a real person.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
@juliejulie
*photo credit, www.Crunchgear.com - some days it seems like spam wins. But we won't let it!
January 28, 2010
7:56
Technical Difficulties
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]

"Why.the.hell.isn't this working?" I growled.
"Do you want me to look at your computer?" he sighed.
"No. I just want it to work. It should just work." Like cars. When you put the key in, they should start.
"I wonder if there's some kind of cash award for the person who has the most ridiculous computer problems," he said calmly without looking up from his keyboard.
I glared at him.
"Mom would win," said the 13 year old, which made everyone laugh, except me.
Posted via email from Julie's posterous
7:46
Technical Difficulties
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: kids [edit]

"Why.the.hell.isn't this working?" I growled.
"Do you want me to look at your computer?" he sighed.
"No. I just want it to work. It should just work." Like cars. When you put the key in, they should start.
"I wonder if there's some kind of cash award for the person who has the most ridiculous computer problems," he said calmly without looking up from his keyboard.
I glared at him.
"Mom would win," said the 13 year old, which made everyone laugh, except me.

Posted via web from Julie's posterous
January 25, 2010
8:07
Hot Mama at Work
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]

Hello?" I said excitedly when I saw her name pop up.

"Hi. It's me," her voice was always the same.

"How are you?" The six months since we last spoke melted away.

"Fine. I'm in L.A., at a conference." She was excited.

"Nice. How is it?" I settled in to my chair, grabbed my tea, watching the snow out my window.

"My god, it's weird, Julie."

"Weird? What's weird?" I dunked my tea bag up and down a few times.

"All these men. They're falling all over me. I haven't bought a drink or a meal yet, and I've been here for two days."

"Well, duh, you're a hot mama," she always had been, "and you're single."

"Single doesn't seem to matter here. And I'm 45. There are plenty of young hotties to choose from. I've got wrinkles and gravity issues," she sighed.
"I guess it's my charm and personality. I've still got them."

"We're more confident now that we're old. Men pick up on that. They like it. Wrinkles don't really matter, and a lot of them actually like real boobs, not fake ones," I wrapped the string of the tea bag around itself, and squeezed it against the spoon.

"I guess. I think I should go to a conference every month or so. It'd be good for business."

"Right," I laughed, "you'll have more business than you'd know what to do with!" The snow was really coming down. I wrapped my hands around the hot mug.

"You should come with me next time, it'd be fun. I've been at the pool all afternoon. The little umbrellas in the drinks are cute. I'm taking them home to the kids."

"No wonder they like you. You should come to my conferences, and wear your bikini. I'll get more clients."

"We should figure out jobs that pay us to go to conferences. Like, that's all we have to do, just go to the conference. No boring work before or after. We'll pick and choose conferences based on location, not content."

"Huh. I wonder what my husband would say." I carefully sipped my tea so I wouldn't burn my tongue.

"I'd be your chaperone, it'd be fine."

"Right. I'm sure he'd be all for it."

And then we laughed, like old friends do.

Posted via email from Julie's posterous
January 23, 2010
18:57
Francine Twist Video Screening
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: velvet [edit]

Francine Twist, the renown model/mannequin/ actress from Twist Pop Media will be making her film debut this Tuesday night at Velvet in downtown Bend, Oregon. She'll be available in the lobby for pictures. She can't sign autographs, since she doesn't have hands, sorry.
The films are short (1-2 minutes each) and we'll show them throughout the night. Francine will be there!
Feel free to RSVP over on the Facebook Event page, or just show up! If you'd like to join the Twist Pop Fan Page, we'd love it!
January 20, 2010
14:18
@juliejulie's Bad Hair
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: rachel [edit]

Last week I took pictures of my hair every morning, and posted them on Twitter and Facebook.
Some people said I was brave.
Some people said I was crazy.
Turns out maybe I was smart.
Because I haven't seen Rachel Ebarb, my stylist over at Plethora Salon for quite a while, but she saw me on Facebook and told me to get myself and my bad hair over to her chair, stat.
When I got there, I looked like this:

When I left, I looked like this:
If you want Rachel to fix your hair, call her at (541) 788-6601Yes, for the record, Rachel is one of my blog sponsors, you betcha!
January 19, 2010
15:48
My Dirty Laundry
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: belly dancing [edit]

"Wait! What day is it?" I blurted out in a panic.
"Tuesday," he said calmly, without rolling his eyes.
"There's something I'm supposed to do," I quickly pulled up the calendar on the computer.
"Laundry?" he said hopefully.
"No, no...ah, here it is! Belly dancing."
January 17, 2010
15:38
Bras Bras Bras
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: lingerie [edit]
Here's the truth: I have too many bras. I'm embarrassed to tell you the exact number. There are so many that I can actually group them into little groups.
If I were the organized type, I'd have custom, labeled dividers in my dresser drawers for each group.
I wonder if Martha Stewart does.
Here are my bra categories, so far:
1. Jog bras (I wrote a post about them once)
2. Sweater bras
3. Professional bras (for work clothes, that's what I mean)
4. Cotton bras
5. Special occasion bras
6. Sex bras
20 years ago, I think I had 3 bras. I'm not quite sure what happened that led me to bra overload, but I'd like to blame a beautiful woman named Nicki, Victoria's Secret, my husband and TJ Maxx.
Nicki: I met her in my 20's when we were both single. She fixed me up with a friend of her boyfriend's, and we'd get ready for dates together at her apartment. I could not help but notice her lovely, fancy matching bras and panties. I'd never spent much money on that stuff. I was far too practical and frugal. "Do guys really care about it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "I don't even know where to shop for it." "Victoria's Secret," she said.
Victoria's Secret: I went to the mall to check out the store, but couldn't bring myself to spend that much money on undergarments. Seriously, if you get a hot pink bra, you have to get a bunch of hot pink expensive underwear to match, to make it worth it, otherwise you have to wash your one matching pair every day, right? If you stick to reasonably priced black and beige at Macy's? Non issue. I was saving for a trip to Europe. I was not going to blow my savings at Victoria's Secret, especially since I didn't even have a serious boyfriend.
My husband: So I met him, we got married, and he quickly convinced me that money spent on lingerie was money well spent. I bought a few sex bras at Victoria's Secret. I also learned that he complained less about my shoe shopping habits if I bought high heeled boots, especially black leather ones. I was still careful though. I got an orange bra, and a few other colors, but just a few matching panties. Also, the longer you're married and the more children you have, the less the matching thing seems to matter. Not sure why.
TJ Maxx: Here's where the real trouble began. I discovered the bra section after the first kid was born, and I realized my size was going to keep changing for a while. That place has oodles and oodles of very cute bras, very cheap. $4.99 for black silk polka dots and $1.99 for the undies? Uh. Sure. That's cheaper than dinner and a movie.
And so it began. Three kids, 17 years of marriage, and an undisclosed number of bras later, I need a label maker and a professional organizer for my undergarments.
I know this bra problem is also a sign of exuberant consumerism somehow gone awry, and I'd probably have more money in my IRA now if I had less lingerie. I get a sick feeling in my stomach sometimes when I see how much stuff I have and know there are people less fortunate than me and I feel spoiled.
But, here's the thing: a couple years ago, a friend sent me a link to Nicki's blog. I'd lost touch with her, and here she was, married with young children writing a touching diary chronicling her battle with breast cancer, from the horrible beginning and the choice to undergo a double mastectomy, to her triumphant victory back to health, including returning to running and completing her first Race for the Cure.
I read her blog from beginning to end and cried for days. "I remember her breasts," I said to my husband. "They were lovely, she was proud of them, and she had the best bras. I'm so glad she appreciated them while she could."
When I first heard that women were posting their bra color on Facebook, I thought it was silly, a bit voyeuristic, and too much information. Then I read Johanna Turner's article about it in the Washington Post and learned it was a Breast Cancer awareness project, I changed my mind. I posted "Red" that day.
I know my bra's real job is to hold up my boobs. I'm glad mine are healthy, and I'm happy I get to dress them up. So I'll be keeping all my bras, thank you very much, and there's a good chance I'll buy some more in the years ahead.
Pink lace.
Impractical? Yes. But still cheaper than dinner and a movie.
January 12, 2010
9:29
Being Weird
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: super balls [edit]

Ideas are pictures. They flash through my brain, in color, instantly.
Sometimes they're a single frame, and sometimes they're more like a quirky, saturated short film shot in Super 8.
A good idea makes me tingle. And then I have to talk about it so I can figure it out all the way.
Some ideas don't work on their own, or they're too early for their own good. But I keep them around anyway, because they worm their way right into another idea later.
I hang out with good listeners so I can bounce the pictures I see in my head up and down and sideways like a super ball in a small room with a hardwood floor. The ideas hit walls and lamps sometimes, but nothing ever breaks. Usually.
And then I just start trying stuff. If people say "how did you come up with this crazy idea?" I try to tell them the story of how 20 years ago I had this one idea that worked it's way into this other idea, and eventually this idea right here became an obvious next thing to try.
But they look at me with glazed eyes and half a smile and say "Oh." Which actually means "You're weird."
As if I didn't know.
January 08, 2010
8:03
Karaoke with The Mannequin
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: francine [edit]

(Downtown Bend, OR) Bo Restobar, in association with A Fine Note Karaoke Too! and Twist Pop Media announces the guest appearance of renowned mannequin, actress, and chanteuse, Francine Twist at Bo Restobar on Saturday, January 9th at 8:00 p.m..

Francine will be performing some of her favorite karaoke songs, accompanied by Jackie Johnson of A Fine Note Karaoke Too!
According to Johnson, the culmination of this event is the result of a lot of research, legwork, begging, and more than a few glasses of wine.
“Francine and I have spoken at length about her love of karaoke and she has finally agreed to grace the popular night spot with her songs and anecdotes about her long and successful acting career.”

Julie Anderson, of Bend’s Twist Pop Media further added, “Francine and I will be at Bo Restobar on Saturday night at 8:00 p.m. for the purpose of filming for Bend’s Where To Eat Guide. We would love to include Bo’s audience in this segment which will be featured on the guide’s web site at www.theeatguide.com/CentralOregon/ and also at www.youtube.com/user/TwistPopMedia.”

Francine will pose with patrons and can even be persuaded to sing a duet or two if you twist her arm. The Where To Eat Guide will provide door prizes such as free Bend restaurant certificates. Admission is free and regular karaoke will follow.
*Follow us live Saturday evening on Twitter at @juliejulie or @FrancineTwist

Where: Bo Restobar (Downtown Bend) on Franklin Ave.

When: Saturday, January 9, 2010 @ 8:00 p.m.

*A Fine Note Karaoke Too!, Bo Restobar, Where to Eat Guide, and Julie Anderson can also be found on Facebook.
January 07, 2010
7:23
More Art for @juliejulie
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: artstream [edit]

I'm not a big New Year's Resolution type. Big promises to myself are easily broken. I'd rather take a series of small steps to make big changes in the long run.
I used to make art, and I want to start making it again. It stirs up little threads of happy inside me, which weave their way into everything else I do.
In fact, when my kids were little, I had an art studio set up in the basement along with a potter's wheel and a small kiln. I taught kid's classes 3 days a week and hosted Thursday night wine and clay nights for moms. Joy.
I also painted dots on vintage suitcases and sold them to sophisticated ladies who had style and good taste. Julia Roberts bought the first one I made, so I got instant cred. and galleries and stores around the country took them in on consignment, and I did custom orders.
Life got busy, I gave away my wheel and kiln when we moved, I stopped dabbling in colors and textures, and jumped into words for a while. Now I have a garage full of blank suitcases that aren't sure what their purpose is. They are lonely and unadorned. It's sad for them.
I'm ready to start playing with art again. I want to explore more mixed media, so I called my friend Sondra Holtzman, a local artist who teaches and travels around in her fun, vintage trailer, which we named "Artstream" so she can take her art classes on the road.
Sondra and I are partnering up to help each other. I'll write about her Traveling Studio, and show her how to use digital media (including Twitter, where she's @ArtSondra) to push her business, and she'll teach me how to get the images that swirl around in my head onto surfaces.
Happy, happy. Joy, joy.
January 03, 2010
18:47
My Best Kiss Ever
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: youth hostel [edit]

Let's talk about the fine art of kissing. You know, a good, old fashioned lip lock.
Wikipedia: A kiss is the touching of one's lips to another person or object, used to express love, passion, affection, respect, greeting, and good luck. The word comes from Old English cyssan "to kiss", in turn from coss "a kiss". The act of kissing has become a common expression of affection among people, but, until modern times, however, kissing was unknown to certain cultures, such as aborigines, Tahitians, and many tribes in Africa.
No kissing in Tahiti? Even with those beautiful beaches, glorious sunsets and fruity drinks with the little umbrellas? How sad for them.
Ok, here's the best romantic kiss I ever had (you know, before I met my husband, who's the love of my life and a great kisser etc. etc.) and it involves a stranger.
I don't remember the guy's last name, and I can't remember exactly what he looked like, but I'm pretty sure I looked like the lady in this picture, except I was not naked. And he wasn't either. And also, we weren't sitting on a rock, and he didn't actually kiss me on the lips, but I'd like to think I looked like this lady. I'm sure I felt the way she looks, does that count?
So anyway. I was 24. I was on a solo trip through Europe with my backpack and Rick Steve's Europe Through the Back Door book. I had some lovely moments during that trip, including a near religious experience with the colors pink and gold which I wrote about here before, but the truth is, I was lonely.
I would arrive in a new town, find the youth hostel, bravely look around for a friendly face, then start seeing the sites, either with some new friends if I was lucky enough to meet some, or alone. When my bravery wore out, I would sit somewhere and write in my journal, pretending I was in a movie I was writing about myself.
Somehow, somewhere, maybe in Denmark, I met a nice young woman who said I should visit her home town in Bruge, Beligum. So a few weeks later, I did. I called her when I got there, right after I met some American college kids in the hostel.
My friend said I could meet her at her parents house in town for "lunchments" (hey, her English was way better than my dutch!) which was very generous, and it would have been a fantastic opportunity to get to know some locals, just like Rick Steves said I should do.
But after breifly hemming and hawing, I said no thanks, because two of the college kids were male, and both of them were cute, and they had just met another girl in the lobby while we were all checking in, and they wanted me to ride bikes down to the seaside with them. So of course I did.
One thing I did learn on this 3 month solo journey was if you're traveling in and out of new cities and new friendships every day, you have to make split decisions that you might regret later, but you can't waste too much time worrying about them, or you'll miss all the fun.
And I had what I felt was an instant connection with the regular looking red-headed boy in the lobby, so I was going to pursue it, lunchments or no lunchments.
The tall dark and handsome boy should have been a natural choice, especially since he was paying attention to me. But my split second radar knew Handsome was a boring dud, and Red was the one for me. Unfortunately, the other girl liked Red too, which really steamed me. Obviously, her radar was just as good as mine.
Since I'm the writer here, I'm tempted to say the other girl was an irritating floozy with sawdust for brains who lured young men in with her Sorority Girl charm and good looks, then dumped them by the side of the road on the way home from the sea, after she got her fill of attention and free drinks.
But I can't say that. Because that'd be lying. Because actually she was smart and funny she was nice to me. And I knew my lonely self needed to hang out with her just as much as I needed to flirt with the boys.
So we got on our bikes and rode to the sea.
It took 45 minutes to get there, and Sorority Girl and Red were much faster than Handsome and me, so they were way ahead the whole time, chatting and giggling. I was hot and sweaty and irritated, and not in the mood to make small talk with Handsome, who didn't have much to say anyway.
I don't remember much of the sea in Belgium, except that it looked like all the other beaches I'd seen in Northern Europe. Sorority girl and Red were clearly flirting with each other, I was hungry, and the restaurant food was expensive, and I thought "Damn. I should have gone to the local's house for the lunchments."
We decided to ride back to the Hostel in time for happy hour which featured cheap food and cheap beer. 45 minutes later I was still tired and hungry, but now were all sitting together at a table, so I thought I had a chance with Red, since I'm good at talking to a captive audience.
Alas, Sorority girl continued to match my wit and charm long into the night. She had a better story than I did. She was a computer science girl and just finished her MBA. She was going back home to Colorado (of course, Colorado, she was cute, althletic, outdoorsy, and she's probably a tech start up millionaire by now) leaving her boyfriend in France after spending the summer with him. She needed to figure out her life. She wasn't sure she wanted to stay with him. She missed America.
Poor.little.thing.
I was from Oregon, with degrees in Fine Arts and English, had just finished a two year stint as a nanny, and was going back to Palo Alto to teach drama at a private school. I know, I know. Not much to work with.
Handsome was an engineer, just starting out somewhere. Of course. He probably works for Sorority girl now, at Google, after she sold her first 3 startups during the tech bubble years.
Red? Well, he had finished grad school on the east coast and this trip was his graduation present from his parents. There was something about history and economics thrown in. He's probably a senator now. Too bad I can't remember his last name. I might be tempted to ask him if he'd like to go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
I was trying to flirt and made some lame joke about history, but he didn't really get it. Or he did and it wasn't funny. And then their was an awkward silence. His radar must have confirmed that I liked him (duh!) but so did she, and she was so much smoother than me, in many, many ways.
And then he tried to be nice to me, as charity, which made it worse. Because I knew I'd lost.
We all went to our bunkbeds at the same time in the co-ed dorms, so I knew no one slept together, which I hadn't really expected, since we were all just nice kids traveling around, not really looking to hook up, but still. Lonely girls do hope for things, sometimes. Things that might turn into good scenes in the movies in their journals.
Sorority Girl and Red realized they were both leaving for the same ferry early in the morning (or sure, of course she would be on the same ferry...) so they set an alarm so they'd get up at the crack of dawn.
I heard their alarm go off and listened to them rustle around and hurry in the early morning light.
"We're late!" she gasped, as she grabbed her pack off her bunk, "We'll have to run!"
"Go!" he whispered from the bed below me as he threw things in his bag and quickly put on his shoes, "I'll catch up." And so she did.
I sat up then, to watch her go. I wanted to say goodbye, but it was too late.
He stood up then and faced me, as my feet dangled off the edge of the top bunk, nearly kicking him. The top bunks were low, he was tall, and my knees landed near his stomach.
He stood still, as I looked at him, and he looked at me. He didn't say a word, and neither did I, but he reached up, and put his arms around my neck. I put my hands on his shoulders, without really thinking.
And then he leaned in slowly and deliberately, and kissed my neck. Twice. Right in that spot below my chin and to the right, that makes me melt. As if he knew me. He looked at me again, all the way, and touched my cheek with his finger. And I realized I had stopped breathing.
And then he quickly picked up his bag, and ran out the door to catch the ferry. And I never regretted missing the lunchments again.
“Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.”
December 29, 2009
17:54
My Costco, My Life
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: chocolate orange roses [edit]

Today I went to Costco. Usually, I get a secret rush of happy when I think of shopping at Costco, even though it wears me out.
There's just so much stuff there. Stuff I don't even know I want until I see it. And even if I don't buy it, I just like to be aware of it, and to think about it. You know, to wish for it a little, for next time, when I probably won't buy it either.
Hey, a girl's gotta have dreams. I'm just being honest about my consumerism fantasies, here. Don't be judgey or throw rocks at me.
The truth is, I don't really buy that much stuff I don't need any more, since I'm always on a budget and my house is full of way.too.much.stuff. as it is. The other truth is, my usual Costco purchases are boring, and 90% the same every time.
So I'll spare you the list of what I usually buy (like fruits and vegetables, toilet paper, laundry soap, yawn) and tell you about the things I thought about buying, but didn't. Because that list changes with the seasons, the inventory and the phases of the moon.
Things I didn't Buy at Costco on December 29, 2009: Dear FTC spies: none of these companies pay me in cash or prizes for what I'm about to say.Dear companies: call me if you want to.
1. Dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds from Brookside. I thought the flavors might be interesting, but couldn't figure out how you'd spit the seed out. When I realized there wasn't a seed, it was just pomegranate flavor inside chocolate, it dawned on me that the whole thing was candy, and I was not going to spend $9.99 on candy that I didn't need to eat. Walked away. Phew. Close call on that one.
2. InvertAlign Inversion Table which is a contraption (that looks all fitness/home gym-ish) you strap yourself into so you can flip yourself upside down. I have to admit, the whole thing is a tiny bit scary, and sexy at the same time. I mean...well. It's like standing on your head without the balancing part. Just look at the phraseology on the box: Adjustable nylon tether stops the bed at any desired angle of inversion. Features the NEW Flexion Bed Design and Easy-reach support handles with built in Traction Bars. And the best part: Medical Grade quality, tested to 400% safety factor.See? Seriously safe. And Sexy. But it was $400, so I walked away.
3. Orange Roses for $14.99. I do like flowers. Especially orange ones and especially if other people buy them for me. I didn't NEED them. So I smelled them, appreciated them, then walked away.
4. Instant Facial Sculpting Cream from StriVetcin. Huh? This product stopped me in my tracks. Sounds very Twilight Zone if you ask me. Think about it. Costco sells a cream that sculpts your face? So if you put this stuff on your face, you can reshape it? Your face I mean? Does it dissolve your skin and your bones a little so you can push them around into a more pleasing arrangement? Wow. And look, there's more: It even reduces the appearance of “ear wrinkles”... those nasty little lines in front of your ears (you know, the wrinkles you ignore but everyone else gets to see).I think she is having her face sculpted by a face artist
Again with the WOW. I didn't even know I had ear wrinkles. Should I spend $78 to reshape ear wrinkles? Totally walked away.

5. Silk Infusion Cationic Hydration Interlink Some of you may recall that I'm never quite satisfied with my hair, although I did like it when Rachel made me look like Sarah Palin once:

So I seriously considered purchasing this stuff to add to my overflowing drawer of other stuff I buy to try to trick nature out of the inevitable, natural 44 year old hair change I'm going through this year. But the word Cationic sounded too much like Catatonic, and even though my hair is old, dead hair isn't appealing. Walked away.

6. A baby. I saw the cutest 5 month old baby girl wearing a lovely pink argyle knitted hat stare at me from her mother's arms. I knew she wasn't for sale, but I felt a strong tug of maternal instinct and longing to touch her soft little cheek and talk her into a smile, and maybe ask around to see if she needed to be adopted or I should find another one to adpot, or maybe talk my husband into reversing his vasectomy, or something.

I squashed those feelings right back down where they belong, and bought a bag of dog chewies instead to remind myself that I bought a puppy last year instead so I wouldn't think of having any more babies.

And then, it was time to walk away from the baby and go home. So I did.
December 16, 2009
7:10
The One About the Book Deal
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: book deal [edit]

So a couple of months ago a brilliantly smart literary agent from New York emailed me out of the blue. She said she'd been reading my blog, she enjoyed my writing, and would I be interested in writing a book?
Yes, I said. Yes, yes, yes. I am interested. I was born interested in writing a book.
Me in front of the house I'll buy with the never-ending royalties I'll earn from my book of hilarious chubby sports stories
In fact, back in 1974 when I was deep into my "Little House on the Prairie" phase I told people I was going to be a writer when I grew up. My mom said writers didn't make a lot of money, and maybe I should think of a back up plan, just in case.
So I eventually went to college and got degrees in Fine Arts and English. Then I taught drama for a while, and then through a series of unrelated events I've ended up being a self-proclaimed Twitter Maven who makes weird videos with her mannequin.
I fail at backup plans, apparently.
My mom also told me that Laura Ingalls Wilder was dead, when I said I needed her address so I could write her a fan letter. Hey, before you get all huffy, my mom isn't a dream killer, she's just practical.
So when the pixie dust wore off that first email the agent sent (I should really print it out and frame it...maybe send it to my mom for Christmas?) I sent her an email back that said "I want to write a book, but I can't figure out what to write about. Can you help me?"
Yes, she said. I'll help you, which made me so happy that I decided I need to go out and buy her a present. Which I will do. Soon.
And so began a series of emails flowing with ideas and sample stories sent off for her review, and honest answers and enduring patience (on her part.) After a few tangents and round-abouts, we came back to this blog and the funny little fitness stories, which aren't always about the actual thing I'm writing about, but about the bigger things I'm thinking about.
Finally, I came up with an idea she thought might fly, and she said I needed to write my first three chapters so she has something to start pitching to a publisher. She's sold a few best sellers and she seems to know what she's doing (of course I Googled her.)
This will be a piece of cake, I thought. I'll have those chapters done in a week, and then she can sell the book by Christmas, and then I'll plow through the rest of the chapters in a month or so, and then I'll see my finished paperback at Costco this Spring. No sense dragging this whole thing out.
And wouldn't it be funny if I don't tell my family about the publication date, but I just casually say to the kids when we're at Coscto buying huge bags of broccoli, "Let's go look at the new books...oh my goodness! Look at this, it's MY book!" and then I'll buy 100 copies and hand them out at Thanksgiving and as door prizes at Tweetups.
Well, it turns out this whole writing a book thing is harder than it looks. I worked on one chapter for days and days and it's still not right. It's just not that funny.
I gave it to a friend to read and she said she liked it, and that it was kind of David Sedaris like. I'm going to buy her a present just for saying that, but the truth is, it's NOT Sedaris-like. At all. Because it's not funny. And it's sort of boring. And it's driving me crazy, trying to fix it.
So then, another friend who's published a few books of his own said "Stop writing that chapter! Move on to the next one. Maybe it will be funny." Which was very smart advice, so now I have to buy him a present too. And I also have to start writing that chapter. Which I will. Soon. Maybe after I finish this post, even. Or tonight.
I realize all these presents I have to buy are eating into my future advance that I may or may not get, for a book I have not written, that may or may not get sold. But they're worth it, I think, because if I don't get feedback from people, this book will just sit in the back of my brain forever.
And one thing I've learned so far is there's no way anyone, even a brilliant agent, can sell a book that is just a series of nice little ideas in my head. I have to write them down. So I have to keep trying, not crying. It's like saying I'm a runner, but not actually running. Eventually, someone calls me on it, and I put on my shoes and go. And voila - more blog fodder.
Also, I've learned that David Sedaris is doing the rest of us writers a disservice by making it look so easy. I mean, sure, he has much better material to work with than I do (if I were a gifted, Greek, angsty gay man living in New York City and Paris with a lovely partner named Hugh, this book would be much easier to write, believe me) but when you read his stuff, you think "Hey, he just sat down and started talking into his typewriter and now he's selling millions of books, how hard could it be?"
Thanks Mr. Sedaris. Thanks a lot. You're so not helping me and my fragile writer ego, here. But if you can give me some pointers I will definitely buy you a present, too.
December 06, 2009
13:50
Ready to Ride: Francine's First Snow Storm
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: snowboarding [edit]

As many of you know, Francine grew up in Los Angeles, and then spent many years stuck in a back room in Springfield, Oregon.
Today, we are having a blizzard in Bend, and it occurred to me that she's never seen snow.

I figured I'd better let her experience it, since there is talk of her going snowboarding soon, for a video shoot. She's a great model, a fine actress, and a good sport, but it's important that she doesn't go in to a new situation "cold," as they say. She needs to understand her surroundings in order to find her motivation.
As her agent and her friend, I needed to see how snow would affect her skin, since she's not really water proof (no synchronized swimming films for her, sorry). I also wanted to make sure she can actually wear boots. She can.
Francine was quite interested in the snow, and thanks to this fabulous Betty Rides coat of my daughter's (from several years ago, these coats never wear out!) she stayed warm and dry.

Except for her face, where the snow hit it. It melted the word of the day on her cheek. So she may wear goggles next time, and perhaps a ski mask, depending on the weather.
Guess what the word was?
December 04, 2009
17:25
International Hopscotch Society
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: international hopscotch Society [edit]

In my ongoing quest for fun fitness options, I decided we should all play hopscotch.

Sometimes my brilliant ideas just hit me all at once, for no logical reason. This is one of those ideas. Probably.
Although maybe reading the word hopscotch (randomly) on the Internet today caused my synapses to fire up and think: "Hey, hopscotch is fun. It's aerobic. There is hopping involved, and Scotch, maybe.".
So I said "Who's in?"online, and my cousin Amy, who was super busy at work, apparently, answered back "I am!" so the deal was sealed. She's heading up the Portland, Oregon chapter. And then someone from Florida said yes, then some guy from Idaho, and, well, you know...
Amy is a good sport
One thing lead to another, and within 45 minutes, I had managed to talk my husband into driving me downtown because I had a strong memory of hopscotch courts (are they called courts?) being down there by the City Hall swing sets, but when we got there, lo and behold, there were none.
In fact, there wasn't even much pavement, just grass and some sand. And swings. But I'm not starting a swinger's club. Trust me on this.
"I distinctly remember hopscotch, near an old brick building...I swear it!" I said.
"Maybe that was in a different city?" He offered helpfully, but I knew he was exasperated already. "And why are we doing this again? And how long will this take? I have some programming to finish. I'm almost done. I want to finish my project today..." blah blah blah.

"Shh," I said. "There's gotta be a school around here somewhere. We just need a few pictures...for my new blog. And Twitter. And Facebook. I'll be quick, promise."
"I'm not going to a school playground with a camera to take pictures while kids are at recess," he growled, "I don't think we're allowed."
"But we can just tell them this is for the International Hopscotch Society! It will be fine!"
And then he started driving home. Which made me sigh with exasperation, and think of phrases like "You never help me. Every thing's always about you. You're no fun. You never let me do what I want..." but of course none of these things are true. At all. And I know it, and he knows it.
Because I actually have a vintage mannequin with customized steel rods in her legs and a rolling stand that weighs 50 pounds, which he has personally loaded in and out of the car and driven to the airport so I could take her to Las Vegas to see a concert, standing in our living room right this second, and she happens to be dressed in the Star Trek shirt he got when he was a kid in the 1970's, the beloved shirt his mom saved for him all these years, and when she found it in a box after she moved, and brought it over, he handed it to me and said "Francine should wear this."
Because, you know, he thought it'd be funny. Because it is.
I think he heard my unspoken thoughts right there in the car, because he said "can't you just go to our kid's school after school? They have hopscotch there, and then, you know, you wouldn't embarrass him...he'd be home."
"No." I pouted. "I have a meeting this afternoon and the light will be all wrong by 4:00 for pictures. Just take me home, I'll try to come back, somewhere, and take pictures of myself doing hopscotch. Somehow."
So then he did roll his eyes and turned the car around, and we drove slowly by two of the closest school playgrounds to see if they had hopscotch, but they didn't. And luckily, all the kids were safely back in their rooms, so we did not attract any playground stalker attention. Because that would be bad PR for the newly formed International Hopscotch Society.
"Wait!" I said with a burst of inspiration. "We have chalk at home. I'll just draw my own hopscotch on the sidewalk! Sheesh, why didn't I think of that before?"

And so we did drive home, and I found some lavender chalk, which doesn't show up on light gray very well, but beggars can't be choosers.
So, now there is a blog and all kinds of social media promoting this new International Hopscotch Society, which means it's real, and all of you should join.
And if you don't have a court, draw one. And if you don't have chalk, or it's too cold outside, get some masking tape and make one inside. Invite your friends and neighbors, and hop around together. And then send me the pictures and videos at julie anderson at hotmail dot com or post them on the Facebook page, and we will appreciate each other and celebrate hopping and scotching.
It is sort of sexy, really, if you think about it, all that hopping around and drinking scotch...but please don't send naked Hopscotch photos or videos. I don't think they're allowed. I'll check the rules.
December 01, 2009
12:33
My Amazing Finger
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Tags: hand soap [edit]

I'm so proud of the middle finger on my right hand. I burned it on a hot pan last week, and it hurt so much, I thought I might faint.
It was one of those deep burns, several degrees burned, I'm sure. I'm not sure how many degrees though. A doctor would know, or a nurse, but I never asked one. I just looked at my finger 20 times a day and said ow, ow, ow.
And I never once told it I was sorry.
My finger just quietly did its job, though, without complaining. It didn't pretend it couldn't function. It didn't call in sick. It kept working, typing, doing dishes, and helping all the other fingers do their jobs.
Then it just started regrowing skin. It looked horrible for a while, turned a bit yellow and oozy, and it scared a few children, but that didn't stop it from growing a little bit of new skin every day.
Now there's just a small, red mark where the gaping, painful wound used to be. I'd say by Friday, I won't even be able to see where the burn was. And soon I'll forget the memory of the pain. And I know my finger will never mention it.
So I'd like to publicly thank my finger, for doing such a miraculous thing so humbly and graciously, without complaining or reminding me how stupid I was to touch a hot pan.
I wish I could be more like my finger.

***By the way, this is a picture of hand soap! I found it here.
November 29, 2009
20:48
I Have a Kudasama Flower Girl Entrepreneur
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Tags: festive ornaments [edit]

My 16 year old daughter is an artist.
She'd rather draw than do homework. She'd rather design a big, mascot-type fox head out of plastic screens and faux fur than clean her room. She'd rather make me an original, animated widget for my blog for mother's day than go buy something. She'd rather make a YouTube video on how to draw eyes than watch a movie with her family on Saturday night.
So when she brought down one of these lovely Kudasama paper flowers she made yesterday, I was not surprised at all, but I was very happy, and very excited. I love these things.

I told her I want a several of them, to put around the room, and that we could hang up a bunch of small ones on a curtain rod in front of our sliding glass doors to make a paper curtain. I could envision 30 or 40 flower spheres hanging on strings, moving slightly as people walked by, looking all modern and contemporary and elegant and art installation-y.
So my daughter invited a friend over, and together they made several of these lovely flowers, in various sizes. Her friend's mom arrived, and we began to fight over how many were going home with the other girl, and how many were staying home.
Not fighting, really, just, you know...trying to be fair and all...to the girls.
So then the girls, being smart and business minded, and tired of the negotiations, said we could buy them. And in fact, if we wanted them to make any more, they'd be happy to sell some to us.

So of course, the other mom and I looked at each other, looked at the girls, looked at the flowers, and said, at the very same time:
How much?
10:05
How the neighbors see me...
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Tags: fashion [edit]

One bad thing about living in a high density neighborhood is not having a yard. So we have to let the pesky little dog outside whenever he asks. Which is a bummer when it's 20' outside. Of course I just throw on whatever warm clothes are closest to the door.
My family laughs, sometimes. But I figure the neighbors already know I'm quirky, so they probably don't even notice my get-ups any more.
For the record: no 13 year old fashionistas were physically harmed by taking this picture. Emotionally? Maybe. She'll get over it, some day.
November 28, 2009
20:28
Apple Pie.
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Tags: apple pie [edit]

If you came here thinking I'd talk you out of eating lovely holiday food, you're in the wrong place.
I do like pie. Especially this amazing pie from Grandma Opal, that we found on All Recipes.com last year.
You make a sort of Carmel sauce out of butter and brown sugar, then you pour it over a mound of thinly sliced apples, then you criss-cross some dough on the top, bake it for a while at 350' and - -
Voila. Delicious.
So, who's running tomorrow? Besides me, obviously...
November 22, 2009
10:40
Snow Running - Breathable Underwear
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Tags: snow running [edit]

It's a glorious day in Bend, Oregon. The sun is shining on the fresh, white blanket of snow, and the blue sky says "no excuses, get outside."
Now I'm hunting up the Yak Traks to put on my running shoes so I won't slip, and appreciating my warm, first layer of "microfleece" Paradox running pants and shirt I got at Costco a couple of weeks ago.
I do like my Paradox long underwear. Because it's breathable. Which makes it seem alive. Which is really, really cool, the more I think about it.
Living, breathing underwear? If your underwear could breathe, would it have a nose? Would you want it to? How far will biotechnology evolve? Will your underwear grow a mouth and talk some day? What would it say?
Maybe I'll have another cup of tea and think about the answers to these questions before I go snow running.
Pipe down, blue sky, I'll be out there in a minute.
10:30
Birthday Wishes
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Tags: [edit]

I had my birthday. I'm 44 now. Here's me with my cake, making a wish. What's your birthday wish, dear readers?
November 15, 2009
20:45
Running in the Dark
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Tags: [edit]

My running partner, Joanna, likes to run in the dark. I'm usually busy with dinner and kids and Twitter and stuff by the time dusk rolls around, but sometimes she convinces me to go with her.
She says it's easier to run at night, because you forget about the distance up ahead, and concentrate on where your feet are going to land next, so you don't trip. And if you're a self-conscious runner, your shape blends in with the shadows of the night, so you can jiggle all you want and no one sees it, or cares.
Tonight we ran through the trails in the woods at dusk, and watched the sky turn pink, then purple as the cold winter sun slipped behind the hills. We made it back to the road before the sky turned pitch black, but just barely.
If you need a little adventure this week, go run in the dark.
November 12, 2009
18:35
Missing Sissy: No Hoop Running Tonight
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Tags: [edit]

I'm supposed to go to dinner with my friend Sissy tonight but I'm in bed, instead, because I was feeling a little fainty. Last time I felt this way, I got the flu. But I won't get it again, I'm not the type. Once is enough for me. This is a fluke, I swear.
Sure wish I had a fainting couch, though. I love those things. I'd prefer a red velvet one, as long as we're asking for presents. Except you aren't.

Anyway, Sissy's the friend who's even goofier than I am. Except she'd say I was lying. Sissy's just her nickname, because she's the youngest of 9 children. I'm the youngest of 4, so I can't even hold a candle to her. I could hold one for her though, and I would, if she ever needs a candle held for any reason.
The last time I was with Sissy, I did some hula hoop running, and she took this picture to prove it. It's good exercise. I'm not sure how many calories hoop running burns, but it seems like it should be 1,000 per minute, because you have to keep bending down to pick up the hoop every 10 feet or so.
Alas, if I tried hoop running tonight, I might fall over in a faint, and the hoop might break. That would be sad. Funny, but sad. No one likes a broken hula hoop.
Poor me. No Sissy craziness tonight. I only have hula hoop memories to sustain me until I stop fainting.
November 11, 2009
12:08
Cold Weather Running - 1980's Style
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Tags: Ice running [edit]

I went skating yesterday. I meant to go running, but the thin sheet of ice on all the paved trails near my house forced me to tread carefully until I got to the dirt trails a mile away.
I need advice for ice running, so please send ideas. I do have some of those nifty thingys you slip on the soles of your shoes for snow, but they seem a bit spiky for bare pavement. I'm afraid I'll screw up my knees if I run 4 or 5 miles in them without the cushion of the snow.
Meanwhile, look what I found at the bottom of my snow gear box! It's my wool North Face headband from 1989. Stylish, and upside down to boot. Hey, it works.
I don't really want to run in the gym, so I will attempt to stay outside this winter as much as I can. Who's in?
November 08, 2009
14:26
The One About New York
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Tags: audience conference [edit]

I went to Manhattan. I loved it. I didn't want to leave. I want to go back.

For the record, I did go to Manhattan once, when I was 11. It was in 1976, when we went to Washington DC to visit my cousins for the bicentennial. We went to NYC for one day. It was a hot, sticky, miserably muggy gray day in August, I think, and the crazy people in the subways scared me.
So, from 1976-2009, I didn't really want to go back to Manhattan. It seemed nice in movies and books, if you're very rich and very thin, and obviously brave enough to live there. I figured I wasn't any of those things.
But then, these people named Loren and Michelle Feldman, who I met a year or two ago on Twitter, decided to put on a conference, and I decided I needed to go. I wrote about them last December in my post "What a Croc: @1938Media's Shoes and How I wish I Could be Jewish."

I wanted to attend The Audience Conference, something fierce, because I wanted to meet them, and the conference was all about this:
"Audience is a conference aimed at those who recognise the need to reach engage and influence audiences of all kinds, an investigation into how this is changing, and a look at how technology has in the past and is now, through new media tools and the social web, changing audience participation and interaction."
And this is the exact kind of thing I'm into, especially since my new company Twist Pop Media is all about telling stories for clients and pushing the stories out to the world. Plus I was a drama girl, you know. And I write for many different audiences. And I want to meet people and get some work, to boot.
So I figured I'd need to be brave, take a red eye flight to Newark, take a bus into the city, find my way through the crowded, dirty, mean and crazy streets of Manhattan to the hotel, and then try hard to be social and outgoing and professional with a bunch of strangers I'd never actually met in real life. All by myself. Without having an anxiety attack.
Turns out I am very brave. And Manhattan is clean and friendly and easy. And the hotel was lovely and I met Ezra Butler (who works with 1938 Media) in the lobby when I was checking in, and he walked me right down to 5th Avenue to look at new phones and get a real bagel.
And then I went to MOMA and The Folk Art Museum and The Museum of Arts and Design and Central Park and around and around and around all the streets (which are on a grid, by the way,easy peasy) and then I took the subway back.

I did get a little lost down there in that ridiculous underground maze, but attractive men in suits and friendly women with shopping bags kept pointing me in the right directions until I found Grand Central Station, and a wonderful guy in a bike cab who got me back to my street and said I didn't even have to pay him, but I gave him $10 bucks and let him kiss me on the cheek at the end.

And then I met Erin Bury in the lobby, who was also traveling alone, and made her come to the parties with me, because my theory is if you walk into a party with a beautiful blond woman who is also smart and plays the piano and sings like an angel, strangers become instant friends, and they are always happy to see you.

The party was fun and I met a bunch of nice people. They didn't think I was shy at all. I completely fooled them, I think. Because I'm such a good actress.

And then, the next day I went to the conference and met more twitter friends in real life and several more new best friends, and listened to the speakers, who were quite impressive, and the poet and the singers, and ate good food, and talked to smart people, and felt so lucky to be there.
I sure wish they'd have an Audience Conference every 1st Thursday of the month. Now that I know my way around, I could be a Manhattan Ambassador for other scared tourists. Manhattan should hire me, I think. I could tweet the whole entire thing, every month. Goodness, what a great idea!
The whole thing was wonderful. It was all just like a Woody Allen movie, but faster, and with much less angst.
October 28, 2009
13:08
Twist Pop Media Goes to Vegas
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Tags: [edit]

So. We went to Vegas. We took Francine the Mannequin to the U2 concert, we worked with one of our Twist Pop Media clients, and we goofed off.
(photo by Dave Russell)
We're now working on the second "Twist Pop Media Goes to Vegas" video (here's the link to the "befo re" video) and we'll post it to You Tube soon.
(Dave took a lot of good pictures!)It should be a hoot.
Francine had a great trip, she even had to go through the TSA airport scanner (we bought her a plane ticket.)The security people loved her, and captain of the airplane was thrilled to meet her and be in the video. On the flight home, the flight attendants announced "we have 130 souls and one mannequin on board, sir," at take off.

The funniest thing about the concert for me was wheeling Francine around and watching everyone else's reactions to her.(another photo by Dave)
We got everything from "huh?" to laughter, to "can you take a picture of us with her?" to, believe it or not, men groping her as she wheeled by. That was a surprise, but actually very hilarious. Turns out she can move pretty quickly if needed, and at 6 feet tall and 70 pounds, she was sturdy enough to hold her own.

Francine brought joy to everyone she encountered, from the baristas at Starbucks to the pool attendants and tourists at the Luxor hotel. It was enlightening for me to see how much people enjoyed our efforts, and how they all wanted to talk to her.

I feel a story brewing inside her, waiting to be written, about how she's happy to listen to the world and share their stories.
I think Francine is a bright light in a weary world. What do you think?
October 22, 2009
11:11
Francine Twist Goes to Vegas
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Tags: francine [edit]

I know, I know, this whole mannequin thing is weird.
Who is Francine? Why is she going to Vegas? What does U2 have to do with it? Will there be video?
So many questions from so many people. I'm working on the answers, and I'll write you the whole story soon, and fire up the Francine Twist blog, too. I promise. In the mean time, tell me what you think Francine means. I bet you have some ideas.
Right now. I'm scurrying around like a crazy person who has to retro-fit a vintage mannequin and figure out how to get her to Vegas for a major rock concert, along with a client of mine who's helping us with the video, and my best friend, Marcia, who just seems to be available for these kinds of adventures, whenever I happen to call, for the past 32 years. Thanks for joining us. It means the world to me. And to Francine.
Oh, and here's a little video about what I'm going to wear, because I know you care.
October 17, 2009
19:38
Francine Does Vegas - Part One
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Tags: vegas [edit]

I'm going to Vegas to see U2 on Friday, October 23rd.
My friend Chubby Wombat got some tickets for me and Francine, my mannequin, and a few of my Twist Pop Media team members. We're going to make a video about Francine's journey.
Francine went to Vegas once in the 1970's, but she hasn't been back since. She's learning all about U2 and Bono this week, and the work he's doing with projects like Red in Africa and around the world. Francine's impressed. So am I.
Our dear friend Elizabeth Blackney is coming to Vegas with us, of course, and she's teaching us about what's really going on in Africa, and how we can help. The organization One is a great place to start.
One is a grassroots campaign and advocacy organization backed by more than 2 million people who are committed to the fight against extreme poverty and preventable disease, particularly in Africa. Co founded by Bono and other campaigners, ONE is nonpartisan and works closely with African policy makers and activists.
Join us on our journey. We'll post videos and pictures and tweets as we go.
October 11, 2009
10:25
My Gay Story: Dear Craig...
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Tags: aids [edit]

Today is National Coming Out Day, an internationally-observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) issues. I think it's a good day to talk about civil rights, religion, prejudice, truth and stupidity.
I'll never forget the first person who came out to me publicly in the mid-1980's. I was a young student at a Lutheran University, and most of my peers came from conservative families and congregations.
I handled it badly. Very badly.

I started being Lutheran when I was 13 and a friend of mine asked me to come with her to a youth group meeting. I found a group of nice people who welcomed me into their community and nurtured my interest in music, drama, and philosophical discussion.
By the time I was in high school, our youth leaders (who were only a few years older than us) traveled with us to perform plays and music we'd written at regional and national youth conferences. We had fun and I learned that there are many kinds of Lutherans. Some are quite conservative, some are liberal. I thought I was in the middle.
One of my favorite youth leaders was Craig who joined our church as the Director of Christian Education my senior year of high school. He was married to a wonderful woman and they both came from loving familes of Lutheran pastors and teachers. He was smart and funny, a great counselor when I needed one, and he introduced me to real coffee (shots of espresso with milk, as opposed to the horrible church coffee I tried to drink on Sunday mornings after church.)
When I went off to college in Craig's home town, I became friends with his younger brother and spent time hanging out at their parent's house. I was quite surprised when I heard that Craig and his wife were getting a divorce, but I couldn't get many details when I asked why.
Soon after, Craig called and asked me to join him for coffee, he wanted to talk to me. He told me he was gay and both he and his wife knew it when they got married, but due to their religious views, and because they really did love each other as best friends, they wanted to get married anyway and make it work. It didn't. After several years and no children, they made the painful decision to end the marriage.
Craig knew his family loved him, but this was a completely new world to them. His father was a well-respected conservative Lutheran Pastor in the region, and they were all figuring out how talk about this, at the height of the AIDS epidemic. It had been tough year for everyone and I saw the pain etched deep behind his eyes.
Craig finished talking and waited for me to respond.
I was 18 and very naive. I'd just had my first kiss (and nothing more) a few months before. I was not comfortable talking about sex, or anything related to it, including pre-marital sex or adultery. Being gay was about sex, right? All I could think of was that the Bible lumped the homosexuals in with the bad guys. I had been taught it was a sin. I had never thought about it from a personal perspective.
I was speechless. Craig had been a dear friend to me, and I looked up to him. I wasn't sure how to answer him.
When I finally spoke my response was lame and included phrases like "I respected him and valued him as a person, I'd always be his friend, but I didn't agree with his choices." Because the dogma I'd internalized up to that point taught that he had a choice.
I saw my words hit him like a brick thrown in his face from across the little bistro table. He had expected more from me. He saw more in me than I was willing to let out at the time. He thought I was bigger than the dogma of my church. He thought I knew him well enough to know this wasn't a moral issue, it didn't have anything to do with sex. He thought I'd understand he had no choice. He thought I was a grown up.
He didn't say any of these thoughts out loud. I read them all instantly in the flash of sadness that clouded his eyes. I had to look away then. I was ashamed of myself for not having the insight or vocabulary to figure out how to talk to someone I cared for about being gay. I didn't even know how to try.
I realized I didn't have the guts to let him help me figure out what it all meant, even though he'd helped me deal with all kinds of other tough issues in high school. It was a huge disappointment for both of us. He regained his composure, asked if I could be a good friend to his little brother during this difficult time, gave me a hug and left.
I only saw Craig a couple of times after that. Once at his parents house for a family dinner, once on the bus where he introduced me to his partner. Each time very awkward. We were polite, to each other, but the friendship was clearly broken.
When his brother confided in me about trying to come to grips with Craig's new lifestyle, I sternly told him he should love Craig unconditionally, nothing had really changed in him, he was still the same as he'd always been, he was his brother, and none of the rest mattered. I heard the irony in my words, but saying what I should have said to Craig out loud made me feel better, even though I still couldn't tell him myself.
A few years later, I graduated, and Craig's brother moved away. I lost touch with the family. My mom called me and told me that Craig had AIDS and he was dying.
My mom was a home health nurse who had worked with a few AIDS patients and their families and was often on hospice calls when they were dying at home. She knew the struggles the families faced, often telling everyone their sons had cancer, to avoid the stigma and fear that came with the AIDS ordeal.
She drove up to see Craig and his partner a few times, and sent them letters and photos to cheer them up and let them know she was thinking of him. He asked about me. She told him where I was, what I was up to, weaving all my wild little adventures into funny Julie stories that they could laugh about.
I was in California by then, and had joined a liberal Lutheran church, complete with an openly gay choir director. I hung out with a tightly-knit group of friends, including Christians, Jews, Atheists, Muslims and yes, even a few openly gay people.
The veil of the immaturity I had hid behind at 18 had been lifted swiftly and thrown away by the time I was 22, and living and working in the real world. I had finally grown up a little, as Craig must have known I would.
My mom called again. Craig was really sick now. She had his address, I should send him a card, maybe make a trip up to visit him if I could work it in. I said maybe I would, and I wrote down the address. I composed a few letters in my head, but I knew I wasn't brave enough to send them. I knew he'd forgiven me by then, but I hadn't forgiven myself.
I cried hard the day my mom called and told me Craig died. I cried for myself, for being so stupid.
I guess this is the letter I would have written to Craig, if I'd been able to, 22 years ago.
October 10, 2009
7:29
First and Last Lies
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Tags: lying [edit]

The first time I lied to my mother (at least the first time I can remember) I was about 8 years old. I made a mess in the kitchen right after she cleaned it. She marched all four of us kids in there and asked who did it. I'm the youngest.
I pointed to my brother and said "Mitch did it." His mouth dropped open at the blatant lie. He's five years older than me, and we all usually told the truth at our house. It's an unwritten rule that we still abide by.
"I didn't do it mom, Julie did." He was appalled.
"No, I didn't," I said calmly, "he's lying. He did it."
My mom looked at both of us, slightly confused. I knew she was trying to figure out what to do. I held her eyes in my firm, determined gaze.
"Clean it up, Mitch," she said and walked out of the room, defeated, knowing one of her children was lying but too tired and disappointed to fight with us.
After he cleaned up the mess, I went looking for my mom.
"I really did it mom," I said matter of factly.
"Why did you lie?" she said.
"I just wanted to see if you'd still believe whatever I said. And now that I know you do, I don't need to lie any more."
The last time I lied to my mother was a few months ago.
She asked me if I'd prayed to Jesus to help my husband find a job. I said yes. Of course.
She knew I was lying, but she pretended she didn't.
September 06, 2009
22:08
Now Starring @juliejulie as Mary Tyler Twist Pop
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Tags: twistpopmedia [edit]
I started a new company called Twist Pop Media. Smart, Sticky, Funny. That's my tag line. The rest is being written. Plus a website is being made. We are flying by the seat of our pants.
"How do you sell yourself when you don't have anything to show?" a friend asked. "I don't know," I said, "I just start talking about what we want to do and how we'll do it and people believe me. And then they give me money And then we do it. And then everyone is happy."
So far, so good.

Some days I just want to be like Mary Tyler Moore and take my mannequin Francine to Vegas with Malibu Stacey to get seaweed wraps and spray tans at all the great five star spas before we head off to see U2 in concert. Because Mary probably had a mannequin in her closet, too. Probably.
So the other day I found this industrial designer guy who will make Francine a polarized magnetic rolling stand (with an on/off switch!) so she'll be mobile. Because mobile innovation is my new catch phrase for the year. And I seem to have a knack for finding smart guys. And gals, too.
We decided we'll make some funny videos of our adventures, and get Francine to listen to all kinds of people tell the world cool stories about their cool companies, and make them laugh in the process, just because we can.
But it's not just about Francine. There will be all kinds of important business going on, because I keep finding a bunch of super smart people to help me. I've got people who like to tell stories, and who know how to be real, and smart, and funny:
- People with MBA's who used to work at Apple and make MC Hammer videos in former careers;
- People who know people, and how to get those people to help us do whatever we want;
- People who can make mobile phone apps, but only if you need one, because maybe you just need your website to look good on everyone's phones;
- People who used to manage hi-tech fabrication plants, and people who routinely file patents for creating fancy software algorithms, and for new ways to manufacture thumb drives, and other smartish things.
- People who teach Lego robotics and Ham radio classes, and how to deal with social media in your office, and can take a bunch of kids to the jungle with a water bottle and a GPS and actually make them find their way home; because it's all related, really;
- People who think about making art on the plexiglas leftover from building their passive solar house, and the best way to photograph sanded acrylic paint on aluminum sheets so the colors work on your screen;
- People who can make stuff out of metal and vegetable-dyed horse hair that can be a nob on your kitchen drawer or a belt buckle, or a part of something much bigger you may not have thought of yet;
- People who know how to open up all kinds of distribution channels in the new sustainable world of "let's make a difference."
- People who can draw.
- People who know how to deal with people, so they don't get all whacked out and cry or cuss (too much) when they're having a bad day;
- People who've worked for Presidents and Kings, and have CNN, Vogue and everyone in between on speed dial, just in case we need them.
- People who can talk to Fortune 500's about brand development strategy, and to start up entrepreneurs who need help refining ideas and finding VC's, or help newbies who just need the direct number of the guy at the IRS who gives you your tax ID number for your new business so you don't have to go through voicemail hell. Which might make you cry, or cuss.
In a nutshell, I found people who can speak and write and think creatively, and come up with amazing new ideas every 2 hours, as if they're just sitting around eating peaches on a warm summer day. They'll create, define and push the words, the pictures and the music to tell your stories, so people will listen, and buy stuff from you.
People, who need people, are the luckiest people...
I got lucky, and I'm happy.
Now I just have to find a lovely powder blue pantsuit like Mary's, and maybe do some more wall sits and stuff with Stacey so I can look like Mary, too.
Although I do love Rhoda's orange dress, big time.
August 27, 2009
15:38
Francine's New Life: Meeting Moonalice and Malibu Stacey
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: francine [edit]

I just hired Francine to work for my new business, @TwistPopMedia. I'll tell you about the business later. Now, I want to tell you about Francine's compelling personal journey, part one:
Francine is re-entering mainstream life after being stuck in a back room wearing a horridly ugly housecoat for many years at her old job as a model for a second-hand store. It's especially ironic that she was working at a second-hand store because she doesn't have any hands.
She took the modeling job after an unfortunate accident at her last place of unemployment resulted in the loss of her hands, her hair, and all but one of her eyelashes. There's a gag order on the case, and she's not allowed to talk about it. Rest assured, it was awful.
When I found her last week, her life was rather grim, and I felt sorry for her. A nice man named Mike agreed to let me take her home, and he helped her out to my car:

Francine's life has been full of glitz and glamor ever since. I bought her some new clothes and I took her to meet some rock stars at the Moonalice concert in Bend:Francine Meets Roger McNamee, aka Chubby Wombat of Moonalice fame. He welcomes her to the tribe.

Francine's heart skips a beat when she meets her idol, Pete Sears. She's enamored with his hands - the way they float over keyboards and guitar strings in a well-calculated frenzy make her sigh.
Unfortunately, the excitement of this new life has caused Francine some stress, and she isn't sleeping well. She's lost her appetite, too. I was concerned about her health, so I took her to see my personal trainer, Malibu Stacey at Snap Fitness.
Stacey welcomed Francine with open arms and started her fitness consultation.
Stacey takes Francine's measurements
and weighs her, to get a base line starting point.
They start the workout on the pull-up machine, and move to bicep curls:

"Francine's body fat is low, but she is a bit underweight," says Stacey. "I'd like to help her build some muscle tone."They move on to the leg press machine.
"Francine seems motivated," Stacey tells me later, "But she's awfully quiet. Also, I'm a bit worried that she's not getting enough to eat. I talked about the importance of a healthy diet to combat stress, and I hope she's not a heavy drinker?"
"Oh," I said, "I don't think so, I've never seen her drink anything, actually."
"Well," said Stacey, "She's very sweet, and I'm happy to help her reach her fitness goals. I think she's going to come to Johnnie's Bootcamp next week, it may be a great place for her to meet some new friends."I think Francine has already made a new friend in Malibu Stacey. All of us are looking forward to helping Francine get in shape and enjoy her journey.
August 12, 2009
15:34
@juliejulie by the numbers: Malibu Stacey's Workouts Actually Work
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: ritz crackers [edit]

Okay, okay, I know I may have lured you here with high hopes of reading my hourglass figure measurements (Ha! As if!) but I'm still a married mommy of three, and not so into sharing everything, as I've mentioned before.
I do realize some of you have been wondering if all my running and working out with Malibu Stacey over the past few months has actually produced any real results.
"How much weight have you lost?" you ask, and "Where's the bikini shot?"
Yeah, well, no bikini shot yet. Trust me on this.
The thing is, I haven't lost that many pounds since April when I first started working out with Stacey and keeping track of all these numbers, but I've lost many, many inches, and people have been noticing that. Heck even I noticed it.
My clothes fit better, I like being stronger, and I like the idea that maybe this running and lifting weights thing will continue to melt me, even if it's just little by little, and surely this will help my bones and stuff as I get older and older every year.
So here are my numbers, dear readers, and I'm giving you the number of inches I've lost, because it's my blog and I get to do whatever I want.
Waist: I lost 4 inches off my waist. That's as much as a balance beam those tiny gymnasts flit around on while they're doing cartwheels and backflips. Someone could win a gold medal on the width of my excess waist fat. Ick.
Belly: I lost 2.5 inches off the widest part of my belly. That's as wide as a $1 bill. Or a $20. Or $100.
Hips: I lost 3 inches off my hips. That's the width of the top of the large sized Honey Nut Cheerios box. Yum. I love those things.
Bust: I lost 2 inches off my bust. That's like a Ritz cracker. Oh stop whining boys, I'm sure some of that was back fat. Yuck. See how clever I am? I got your mind out of the gutter. Right?
Thigh: I lost 1.5 inches off the widest part of my thigh. That seems like a lot for a thigh. Hmm...now I'm trying to figure out what's 1.5 inches wide so I can compare it. Do you have any ideas?
So, as you can see, I've made some real progress here, and the number on scale doesn't matter as much as it used to.
Stacey says: "Don't walk around with the scale on your forehead. No one knows how much you weigh, it's not written on your head, right? It doesn't matter how much you weigh if you're in good shape. Muscle weighs twice as much as fat and it's four times as small."
And then she makes me do wall sits, which I hate. And she won't let me cheat, which I also hate.
So even though I'm not quite as hot as Valerie Bertinelli in a bikini, slow going is better than no-going, I say. I'll give you some more numbers in a few months.
Because I know you care.
August 04, 2009
8:10
Guest Post: Couch to 5K – It didn’t change my life, but it did change my butt
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Guest Post [edit]

This is re-post of an article originally written for Go Fit Girl by Jen F (one of @juliejulie's many Chubby Mommy Groupies).

First of all, I want to make something really clear. I hate to run.

That “runner’s high” they tell you about? As far as I am concerned it’s a myth. I don’t get a sudden rush of endorphins, or a surge of “happy juice” (like my friend Julie promised me). The closest I get to a “high” is when I remind myself that I’m not actually dying, I just feel like I might be. Also? The overwhelming sense of relief when I am done with my workout is great.

So why do I do it? Well, I guess it’s the effects of running that I like. I feel better about my body now, and I (generally) have more energy. It’s easy enough to do, and I can work out wherever I happen to be. It wasn’t easy to get started–I’ve only been running since March. But in four short months, there’s already a huge change in my health and my attitude.

You see, I realized last winter that I was getting closer to “that age.” I’m not quite close enough to 40 to feel like I am middle-aged, but it certainly is sneaking up on me. And while I considered myself a fairly active person (walking several times a week, riding my bike to work frequently) I wasn’t happy with that “post 30″ change in my body. Frankly? I was getting a little too pear shaped. I tried boot camp, and hated it. I tried “hooping my buns off” and it wasn’t enough. I bought a temporary membership at a local gym, but that was expensive and just wasn’t my style (grunters and oglers … no, thank you!).

Then I saw a program starting at my kids’ school called “Girls on the Run.” It’s a running program for teenage girls–they train for a 5K and do some mentoring. The “goal” 5K race happened to be on the weekend of my (cough, 35th, cough) birthday. My stepdaughter decided she wasn’t interested, but it got me thinking. Could I run an entire 5K by my birthday?

I started browsing the Internet for ideas and training plans. That’s when I saw the Couch to 5K Running Plan. The name seemed fitting–I wasn’t exactly “couch,” but I was definitely not “5K.” Since I didn’t want to go it alone, I turned to my trusty Twitter and Facebook pals and also mentioned my idea on my (sad and neglected) blog. The response was overwhelmingly supportive, and I even managed to convince a couple of friends to train with me. Since it was still winter (I live in Bend, OR where winter lasts through about mid-June) we decided to meet in the evenings–not too dark and usually not too cold.

That first week, you only run for one minute at a time with a 90-second “rest walk” in between. After Day 2, I thought I was going to die. Looking at the training schedule, I didn’t think there was any way I would ever be able to run for 90 seconds … forget 30 minutes! But together with my friends, I pressed on. We actually repeated Week 1 so that we could feel better about moving on to Week 2. So while Week 2 was still hard (and I still thought I might die)–it didn’t kill me. And I didn’t get hurt. I thought for sure that we would have to repeat future weeks. Surprisingly, we managed to continue through the rest of the program without interruption. Along the way we signed up for a couple of “practice” 5Ks and worked them into the schedule. We just ran and walked the course according to where we were in the training program, and it really helped us get a sense of how long a 5K is and what it’s like to run with a “pack.” We also set up a shared spreadsheet so that we could track our progress toward our goal, and commiserate together about how scary the next week’s workout looked.

When our official race weekend arrived, we were all more than ready to run that 5K. We knew the course, since we had walked it a few days ahead to familiarize ourselves with the terrain.

Turned out we were part of one of the biggest athletic events going on this summer. While in a way that’s cool … I was so glad for those “practice” events. Overall for me that race was awful. It was too crowded, the chip timing they used was confusing, and I was unhappy with my results. But I didn’t let it get me down–we ran another (much smaller) 5K a few weeks later and that helped me get my confidence back.

But that’s just the running part of this story! Since I started running I have noticed a big change in my body. I haven’t lost as much weight as I would like (according to what my doctor says I should weigh). On the other hand, I’ve gone down three pants sizes since March. I can wear “single digit sized” jeans for the first time since before my daughter was born, more than 10 years ago. I have more energy, a more manageable appetite, and my craving for sweets and alcohol has dropped off. Yes, I still love chocolate and an occasional cocktail … it’s just better moderated now.

Another unexpected benefit is now that I am stronger and more coordinated, my golf game has improved dramatically (which makes my husband very happy).

But really? It’s those three pants sizes that keep me running. I know running isn’t for everyone … but I think what’s important is finding the fitness program that works into your schedule and meets your goals. I guess I look at exercise as a “chore” instead of a hobby now. (Since the exercise I actually like–biking, hiking, and walking–don’t seem to contribute to my specific fitness goals.) Taking care of my house and doing the dishes isn’t always enjoyable but it’s important. Taking care of my body is important, too, and running has helped me achieve that.

Do you have something to share with other Chubby Mommies? Email Julie with your ideas for a guest post!
July 29, 2009
20:15
Bootcamp
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: bootcamp [edit]

So, for real, my sweet little nephew is going off to real boot camp this week. He joined the Navy.
Meh.
I'm happy for him because it's a big deal for a young man (or woman) to decide he's gonna just go for it and serve his country and stuff, but of course I'm worried sick that he'll get stuck in a submarine or shipped off somewhere scary and get hurt, you know, like all those other brave young people who are defending our country, who I super appreciate, and am very thankful for, except they aren't the actual babies I held in my arms right after they were born and got all bonded to over the last 20 years. And stuff.
But I digress.
This post isn't about growing up, or being brave, or America, or world politics. This post is about exercising and getting in shape and living your best life, to borrow a phrase from Oprah.
You can draw your own conclusions about life, death, health, appreciation for what you have, self sacrifice and getting over your own issues that get in the way of whatever it is you feel in your heart that you should do to make yourself, your family, and the world better a better place.
I'm just sayin'. Maybe it's time for you to get brave in your own way, whatever that way may be.
As for me, I'm just here to announce that Malibu Stacey and Erin Joy and Big Johnny (the token hot guy who happens to happily married to Stacey so back off) are putting on a fun little exercise boot camp at Snap Fitness. It also meets at Compass Park in Northwest Crossing because it's FUN and a great place to meet people and they're doing their part to build community so just think about it.
And it won't be so OMG it's so hot outside I'm gonna melt! here in Bend forever, so just get over your heat stroke and sign up.
If you don't live here, go find a boot camp in your area and tell us about it and we'll all help each other feel good getting healthy, meeting new people, and feeling lucky that our legs and arms still work well enough to at least try, not cry.
Because for real, we're lucky. And we know it. And we should appreciate each other. And ourselves. And we should live our best life, and thank all the people who are truly brave.
So here's to you, Nigel Dumas, and all the other new recruits who are going through real boot camp this week. Good luck out there, and please don't drown in the Navy. Thank you, and please come back safe and sound because your aunties still remember the first time you smiled your little baby smiles at us, which made us melt, in a good way.
Love,
Aunt Julie
Snap Fitness Bootcamp Facts: $20 off! Tell them Chubby Mommy Sent You!Where: 6AM–Snap Fitness 6PM Compass Park-NWX
When: Class 1: Mon., Wed., Thurs. 6– 7AM

Class 2: Mon., Wed., Thurs. 6- 7PM

Start Date: Monday Aug. 3rd (for 4 weeks)

Cost: $120 (only $10/session!) $150 non-members

Type of Class: Cardio Drills & Interval Training

Instructors: Johnathan Sonne (541) 948-0099, Certified Personal Trainer

Erin Cummings (541) 408-5468 ACE-Certified Group Fitness Instructor

& Personal Trainer
July 18, 2009
19:09
The One About My Knee
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: runners knee [edit]

Some of you regular readers (thank you thank you thank you) may remember this first post I did about being chubby in real life, and not getting too worked up about it. So here's another installment in the life of a chubby mommy runner:
I hurt my knee. I think it was the three 6 mile runs, the two 5 mile runs and the one 3 mile walk with the 20 pound weight vest this week that might have done it.
Too much, too fast. Not a surprise, really. Story of my life.
So now I have to sit here with frozen peas on my knee and worry about not running, and what's going to happen to my sanity this week.
The thing is, I've kind of gotten used to running for an hour in the mornings because it makes the rest of my day go better, it helps me sleep, it makes my brain happy, and all I can think about is what am I supposed to do now, sitting here with peas on my leg all day?
I'm a little worried about this, for real. It's causing me angst. Even Twitter isn't solving my problem. I know it. It's kind of bad.
So this whole thing is a bit funny actually (in a weird way not in a haha way) when you think about it, because I still sort of hate running, even though I actually sort of love it once I get over the 3 mile mark and get into the endorphin-high thing. But I still hate the first mile and I always have.
Love-hate, love-hate, love-hate. I'm like a movie star fighting the paparazzi. Kind of.
Before you say "you should just walk fast!" or "you should ride your bike!" or "you should swim!" let me just say, I know. But I sort of hate those things too. I actually sort of hate them more than running and here's why:
Walking Fast: I do walk fast several days a week, in addition to my running, because I like to go on walks with Pierre the puppy, and my husband and my kids. It's all well and good, but walking doesn't actually do enough to burn off my fat and make my brain switch over to it's happy druggy place. Trust me on this. If you leave me comments about how I'm not doing the walking right, I'll ignore you.
Biking: it's good transportation, and I rode my bike to work for a year and a half back when I had a real job, but I hate being hot with a bike to deal with in the middle of the desert just for "fun." Not my thing.
Swimming: I used to swim all the time. I sort of hate lap swimming though. There's always a little chance I could drown if I get tired, and it ruins my hair which I don't think Rachel will appreciate. I still swim for fun you know, with my friends, while we're sitting around drinking vodka at the pool (ok, for real this only happened once on "vacation" so pipe down) and watching our kids frolic and then we get in and do some handstands and maybe race the 9 year olds across the pool before we get out, sit in the shade and read our magazines. I know I might have to swim again for exercise if forced, but I have to pay to use the pool and I have to drive there. And I have to put on a swimsuit.
So. Back to the running.
Please, for the love of god, remember that I'm 43 and I've been running since high school, off and on, and I've always been chubby, off and on, which means running and I have our own little love-hate relationship, so just leave us the f*u*k alone because we already know all about this ridiculous, unreasonable thing we have together.
Running and I both know I don't have the body type for the distances I want to run. We know it's unreasonable for us to continue this relationship. It just doesn't make sense, long term. It never has. I can't explain it. I don't know why I insist on continuing the farce. I guess it's a co-dependent addiction.
I should stop running and just keep reading "The Power of Now." I should Zen myself away from running. It'd be better for me. I'd become self-actualized, probably, if I stopped running.
My name is juliejulie and I still run, even though I'm really too chubby for this sport.
Oh, sorry I sort of used the F word without being brave enough to use all the letters. That's lame, I know. Maybe if I were brave enough to cuss on my blog, I'd be brave enough to do all sorts of things I want to do but know I probably shouldn't.
Let's not go there today.
The fact is, it boils down to this: I'm 43, about 25 pounds over weight, depending on who you're talking too, and what kind of muscle tone I happen to be sporting this year, and my knees can only take so much.
Duh. I know this.
So now I'll sit around for a few days with my peas and go on little walks with the dog and pretend this will all be fine, and I'll be better soon. Because this is how I deal with everything in my life, you see, and so far it's worked out.
I'll keep you posted.
July 08, 2009
8:57
Running Around with a 25 Year Old CEO
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: trunkclub For men [edit]

I met Joanna Van Vleck, a 25 year old entrepreneur, a few months ago through mutual friends.
When you live in a small town like Bend, Oregon and you've been bitten by the Start Up bug, you end up running in the same circles with the other crazy people who are trying to change the world.
In this case, Joanna and I started running together, literally. But we say we're running "loops" instead of running in circles. Three mile loop? Four mile loop? Should we try the five mile loop on Saturday, just to see if we can do it?
So now we are running partners. We text each other to make sure the alarms have done their jobs at 5:30 a.m. It's harder to bail when you know someone else got up early for you, you better damn well show up.
Joanna and I push each other a bit: are you really sick, or should I go over there and kick your butt out of your warm bed? Yes, we have to go now, you know we won't go later. Let's just do it, we'll feel better all day if we run now. Yes we should do the hills, of course we hate them but we'll conquer them.
At first Joanna and I met each other over coffee and she asked me lots of questions about what I did, and wanted my opinions about sales and business and new ideas. I'm old enough to be her mother (if I had started young...ahem!) and was thrilled to think this fresh, smart kid with a brilliant business plan was seeking my advice.
As her business, The Trunk Club for Men started taking off at rocket speed, getting a coffee date with Joanna Van Vleck became nearly impossible, so we decided to start running instead. We meet at 6:00 a.m., the first appointment of the day. So far, so good.
I've said in the past that I like to run alone, and I still do, but it turns out running with Joanna works well for me. We run at the same pace, we both like to talk, we encourage each other, we're usually in good moods...I guess we are "morning" people.
So a funny thing happened during the miles and miles of conversations I was having with Joanna, week after week: it became quite clear to me that I was no longer mentoring Joanna, she was in fact, mentoring me.
When I throw out ideas about things I want to do, things I'm working on, or even kernels of ideas I might like to explore someday, she'll take them and run circles around them with me until the way to actually execute the thing becomes clear and visible. What about this? She'll say. Could you try it this way? Yes, you should do it, definitely!
Wow. I say. That's a great idea. Yes, I smile, that makes a lot of sense. Huh, I think, this kid is smart. S**t, I realize, if I had half her enthusiasm, her fearlessness, and her confidence to plow full stream ahead with a few of these ideas in this wacky economy, maybe I could stop worrying about playing it safe all the time, and just go for it.
A few weeks ago we had some major, unseasonable rainstorms here in Bend. Our usual running trails were flooded and soggy. We came to an underpass that was really a mess, and Joanna and I didn't want to run through two feet of water to get to the other side.
Huh, I said, I guess we can go back down the block and cross the street at the sidewalk. Joanna, who was in the middle of a great story about meeting a new VC, looked to where I was pointing, turned the other way, and started scrambling up the embankment to the other side, without missing a beat. I followed, of course.
I don't like running in soaking wet shoes and pants, but I don't mind a little mud, and her shortcut got us back on track quickly and efficiently.
I can't wait to see where this remarkable, talented young woman ends up in a couple of years, and I'm happy to keep running the trails with her, it I can keep up.
July 06, 2009
21:56
@juliejulie Palin for President?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: juliejulie For president [edit]

So, it seems you all like my new haircut, and especially my after picture.
It also seems you all think I look like Sarah Palin, and that maybe I'm considering running for President.
Huh.
I never really thought of running for President. I guess it'd be okay. I could try it. But you have to know upfront that I'm not that interested in politics, and in fact, I don't know that much about politics.
I do think all the people are fascinating I really do. So, it could be fun. Probably.
Here's the deal though: if I run for President and you all elect me, I get to choose my Cabinet, right? And everyone has to say yes to who I pick. Or I'll quit.
OK then. I'm picking my Cabinet from the long list of people I admire on Twitter. Because, you know, they're all transparent and stuff, due to the nature of social media, so I feel like I know them all really well, even though I haven't met most of them in real life. That does not matter these days, of course, since the boundaries of reality have blurred because of the power and magic of New Media and how it is changing the world.as.we.know.it.forever.
Here's who I choose to help me run America, and yes, of course, the world:
@juliejulie's Cabinet, in order of succession to the Presidency:

Vice President of the United States
Stacey Sonne (@StaceySpandex) I mean seriously, this girl puts up with me, and she’d kick ass as leader of the free world if I keel over and die while jogging, or something.
Department of StateSecretary @Moonalice – I want the entire band. They are smart, talented, fun and nice. World peace through music?
Department of the Treasury
Secretary Paul Kedrosky (@PaulKedrosky) It was a tie between him and Jim Cramer but Cramer never answers me, and I think Paul is funnier, and he likes mountain biking.

Department of Defense
Secretary (I don’t know! I need some ideas here! Please nominate someone?)

Department of Justice
Attorney @AmandaChapel Amanda is about truth, and will not put up with hype. She holds us accountable, even though we don’t like to listen to her sometimes. Plus she’d probably go commando under the robe, which would be both naughty and exciting.

Department of the Interior
Secretary Robert Scoble @scobleizer
I just like Robert. I think he’d be fun to have in my cabinet. I bet he’d laugh at my jokes, and get me totally popular on friendfeed.

Department of Agriculture
Secretary Tallivan Sunder @tallivansunder Everything will be wholesome and delicious!

Department of Commerce
Secretary Gary Vaynerchuk @garyvee If anyone understands how to sell stuff, it’s Gary. Plus we’d all get good wine with dinner.

Department of Labor
Secretary Heather B. Armstrong @Dooce
I think she had the most famous labor on the internet this year.

Department of Health and Human Services
Secretary Matt Davio @MissTrade
He’s working on some amazing stuff that will change the healthcare industry over at Proxense, and he knows Sanjay Gupta, who shoulda taken the job when he had the chance!

Department of Housing and Urban Development
Secretary Kim Sherrell @kimsherrell She seems hip and urban in a Hollywood-ish way. Plus, she’s creating some new type of reality show; maybe she’ll put the top twits in a house and let them battle it out online.

Department of Transportation
Secretary Lance Armstrong Obviously, he’ll be pro-bikes. Fast bikes, too.

Department of Energy

Secretary @TheFlyLady This woman has more energy than anyone I’ve ever met.

Department of Education
Secretary Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess Jenny tells it like it is. Can you imagine how our next generation would turn out if The Bloggess was in charge of their young minds?

Department of Veterans Affairs
Secretary Guy Kawasaki I like Guy, for real, I’m impressed with how he’s helped put together groups of popular bloggers to visit the troupes on aircraft carriers. Seriously, that was cool. He’ll make sure we don’t forget about our Vetrans. Plus, I bet he’d give them their own category on Alltop, too.

Department of Homeland Security
Secretary Loren Feldman (@1938media) Loren will not take s**t from anyone, this I know for sure. He’d take the bad guys down.
July 05, 2009
13:04
Julie's New Hair: Rachel is Magic
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: rachel [edit]

Remember when Malibu Stacey told me my hair was horrible and I need a whole life makeover? Well, I took the first step on Friday, by letting her friend Rachel "the most adorable pregnant lady you've ever seen" (according to Stacey) have her way with my hair.
This is Rachel Ebarb:I know it. She really is adorable.
So I drove over to Plethora Salon, which just so happens to be next to The Village Bakery in Bend, Oregon, but I chose coffee, this time at least. That bakery smells like heaven, so I was in a happy mood when I walked into the Salon.
I bet I probably shouldn't trade with the bakery though, since writing for cookies is probably counter-productive for a Chubby Mommy Runner who's trying to lose weight, and Stacey would probably put a hidden camera on me to monitor my bakery choices, than tweet to the whole entire world that I'm sabotaging her reputation and entire career by making "counter productive" food choices after my workouts with her.
I never should have taught @StaceySpandex how to tweet...
But enough about Stacey. Let's talk about Rachel.
When I walked in to the lovely front room of Plethora, I appreciated its lemon yellow walls catching the morning sun, which was shining softly through gauzy curtains. I felt my shoulders relax, and I asked Rachel if I could maybe hang out on the overstuffed couch and read back issues of Vogue for a while.
But I looked like this:So Rachel said no, in a cheery, happy way, and how about I come on over to her chair and drink my coffee while we talked about me, and my hair, and my favorite colors?
I could tell we'd be friends right away.
Rachel ran her fingers through my hair and said surely Stacey must have been over-reacting, in her usual dramatic way, when she placed the 911 hair emergency call last week, because as far as Rachel could tell, my hair really wasn't that bad, but wouldn't it be fun to maybe add a little color, and a few layers, just to liven it up a bit?
Oh, yes, I said. That sounds like a lot of fun.
So then I got on Twitter and Facebook and asked everyone what color I should choose for my hair. All the women said red, and the men said "brown." Which is funny, because my hair is already brown, so I chose red.
But I was secretly please that my (self-proclaimed) Twitter fan club boys probably think my hair is fine being brown, because maybe my hair doesn't really matter so much to them, because they just like me for me, and my funny little tweets and really don't care what I look like.
Is it any wonder that I like Twitter so much? I get to make up my own theories, and they are always right, because I just tweet them.
Anyway, back to my hair. Please.
There are so very many kinds of reds, of course, that a person could talk about the best red all day, if there was time.
Rachel and I poured over pages and pages of lovely redheads to figure out the best kind of red for me. Despite my insisting that she could choose whatever shade she thought would look best, she gradually led me to the conclusion that I did have a preference, and then she went to the back and mixed up a batch of the perfect red for me.
I don't think I whined or said "I hate this!" (like I do with Stacey) once the entire time I was with Rachel, even though I had to sit in front of a mirror for a long time, while she put these things in my hair while I twittered:
I think Stylists are easier to be deal with than personal trainers, but that's just a guess.
So after a lovely morning of chatting with Rachel about babies and working and how she nearly cut her finger off once but managed to finish up the client's haircut before she went to ER to get her knuckle stitched up, while she snipped and feathered and showed me her beautiful tattoos, I ended up looking like this:And now that all is said and done, I think Stacey was right. I did need a little hair help after all. And I will go back to Rachel from now on, and maybe try some other colors, just for fun.
July 01, 2009
20:59
Vodka or tea? Which one would you choose?
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: bacon [edit]

When my kids were little, they made me read Edith Kunhart's "Which One Would You Choose?" book over and over and over. It's a lovely little book which tells the story of Will and Maggie making choices from breakfast to bedtime.
Time to get dressed. Will chose the red shirt, Maggie chose the blue shirt. Which one do you choose? How about breakfast: Will chose cereal, Maggie chose oatmeal. Which one do you choose? Playing outside in the rain? Will chose the raincoat, Maggie chose the umbrella? What about you?
All day long, in this simply drawn world, Will and Maggie make little choices. What kind of ice cream? Which kitten to play with? Which cuddly toy to sleep with at night?
Every time we read the book, my kids would hesitate a little over their own choices. Oh, sure, they had their favorites, but it was fun to mix it up a little. Maybe choose the green striped shirt this time, even though Maggie never did, just to be brave, and go a little crazy!
So, I've been busy with work lately, and my husband's been in charge of the kids and the cooking. And they all like to cook things, for fun. To entertain themselves. To experiment. To learn how to look up a recipe online, how to read it, how to work the stove, how to measure things, and best of all, how to operate little machines like mixers and blenders.
Lately I've come home after meetings in the real world, and I get hit with the amazing smell of bacon or cookies when I open the front door.
Sometimes there are donuts in pink boxes sitting on the counter when I get home from my run in the early mornings, because, you know, we ran out of milk and my husband went to the store and took a kid along for the ride. They all know they can talk him into donuts if I'm not around. He can even talk his own self into donuts, with or without a kid there.
So then I have to make a choice. Oatmeal or donut, which one do I choose? Dad chose bacon, mom chose turkey, which one do you choose? Duh. I'm sure Will and Maggie would probably choose bacon. Just a guess.
I gave up wine a while ago because it's hard for me to stop at one glass, and it gives me insomnia, and sometimes I feel a little off the next morning when I run, and I have a hard time losing weight if I drink 2 or 3 glasses of wine a night, so I chose none.
But then I chose vodka for a while because it doesn't have sugar so I don't get hangovers, and I can usually stop at one drink, and I do enjoy a little shot of relax-ment after a long day.
But then I realized I was choosing it every night, and it became a habit, and it was getting expensive, and because I'm a bit of a control freak (me?) after a while I feel a need to prove to myself that I'm not addicted to anything, so I stop.
It's funny how easy it is for me to stop doing something when I choose to.
It's easy for me to stop drinking alcohol every night, because I'm the only one who buys it. So I just stop buying it. Then there isn't any more, so I don't drink it. The first night, I missed it because it was such a nice habit, and I rather enjoyed it. But then I chose peach tea on the rocks. And now I haven't thought about buying vodka for several days.
It is a little harder for me to not choose bacon and donuts when they magically appear on my kitchen counter while I'm gone, because, well, duh. They're bacon and donuts.
The trick I use to not choose them is to think of them as food. They aren't signs of love or loathing, they aren't morally good or bad, right or wrong. They don't represent success or failure. They're just units of calories. Just like oatmeal and egg whites and flax seed.
Right...just the same.
Well, most of the time, this works. For the record, sometimes I choose donuts and bacon. They are yum, personified. And I'm sure I'll have vodka again before I die. Maybe even tomorrow. But then tomorrow comes and I remember that every day I wake up, I get to choose again.
*sigh.
Good luck with your choices!
June 28, 2009
13:12
Let's Talk About YOU
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]

Thanks for your feedback on my Fred post, people. I should say, for the record, that Fred is a real, live friend of mine and @nosredna's and I asked his honest opinion about the blog. So we shouldn't be too hard on him.

My real problem is, I'm tired of me. I know I make it seem easy to write about me, me, me all the time (it's my secret talent) but it's starting to get old.

"Hi. I'm @juliejulie. I went running. I didn't go running. Here's me--and my dog. Here's me--and Stacey. Here's the one about me and my car. Here's the one about me and religion. Here's me. And me. And me again..."

I'm wearing my own self out, writing all this stuff about my own self.

Then, a funny thing happened this morning. I got a great email from a stranger, meaning someone I haven't met in real life or online, yet. She shared a bit about her own recent running and weight loss journey and told me how much she enjoys reading my blog.

She ran her first 10k today! Holy cow, that is a big deal, and I'm impressed. Here's a tiny part of what she said:

Since I've started running in April...I've lost 13 pounds...lots of inches...and gained miles and smiles. I feel good. better than I have in years. I run for me. It makes me a better Mom.

I say she gets a gold star, so I'm giving her a virtual one, and as soon as I meet her in real life, I'll give her a real one.

I'd like to hear more from her. I've asked her to submit a guest post, because even though I once said the Chubby Mommy Running Club isn't a real club, I guess it sort of is. Because you loyal readers are making it one.

Anyone else want to send us their stories? I'd love to hear more about you.

Come, join the club. Membership cards optional.
June 25, 2009
4:52
Let's Talk About Me
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]
Yesterday I had a good talk with a friend of mine - I'll call him Fred- about this blog and whether or not it is interesting.
Fred said it's time for me to stop being so shallow and start to dig a little deeper. Apparently all my pithy little safe stories aren't doing much for him. He wants drama, he wants action, where's the reality in this pseudo show of mine? Where's the storyline? How does it end?
Other questions from Fred:
1. Are you ever going to lose any weight, or just keep talking about it?
2. Why do you only talk about the good things and not the bad things?
3. Why should we care about a middle aged mom and her exercise stories?
So I said "Dude, you are not my target market."
And Fred said "Bulls**t." Except he didn't really say that. But that's what he meant.
And then I gave him some answers:
1. Maybe it's not about losing the weight, maybe it's about my journey through middle age and getting healthy and staying healthy for the long haul.
2. Maybe if I slip into the darkness and the sadness I won't come out again.
3. I have no idea why people care about this blog or why they should. Can't it just be a little hobby?
4. My life is not a reality show and although it might be interesting for some people to see me unravel online, I don't think it is necessarily...necessary.
Fred said I sounded defensive. And he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. So I made a joke then, like I always do, when I don't feel like crying in front of friends, even if it is just online, which is always.
So, dear readers, what do you think? Give me some better answers.
June 21, 2009
6:26
Being Rockstars
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: [edit]

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes the only reason I keep going over to Snap Fitness and letting Malibu Stacey force me to do all the exercises I sort of hate, is because she makes me laugh. And sometimes I just need to laugh.
Yesterday I walked into the gym at 10:00 a.m. on the dot, because there's no sense in being early to exercise, in my opinion.
I saw Stacey disappear around a corner and say my name. I tried to follow the sound of her voice, but I couldn't find her. She was engaging me in a game of hide-and-seek, apparently.
Maybe she was trying to get me to warm up by walking around the gym instead of just Twittering about myself?
I learned a long time ago that if you're lost in the woods, follow the river down stream, or better yet, just stay in one place until someone finds you. Hopefully, you thought ahead and brought snacks, in case you're sitting under a tree for a long time waiting to be rescued.
I always bring snacks, and I don't mind being rescued.
Stacey finally found me, and immediately told me I looked thinner (which is always good to hear) but what the hell was wrong with my hair?
"Oh," I said "Is it really that bad?"
"Yep, it is. What is with all the gray? You look more like Chubby GRANNY than Chubby Mommy. Don't tell me you've been coloring it at home? And the bangs thing didn't really work out so well, did it?"
And then, right then and there, she whipped out her cell phone and called Rachel, her cute-as-a -button hair girl, and proceeded to tell her that I'd be coming in getting my hair done and writing about it on my blog, and then Rachel's phone would soon be ringing off the hook with Chubby Mommy Running Club readers who will want Rachel to make them look cute again too.
And Rachel will be sort of a celebrity then, Stacey told her, and also Stacey has been getting new clients because of her Chubby Mommy Trainer status, and people in line at Starbucks even shout "Hey look! It's Malibu Stacey, from Chubby Mommy!" and then she hands them a business card. Because she is good at marketing.
And of course Rachel the hair girl was all in, and now I'm excited to get cute hair again. Stacey has that effect on people after all.
So then I said "Stacey, who else do you know? Cause I could use a few other things to write about..."
And then she said, "Honey, I know everyone, and you need a complete life makeover."
And then I knew we were on to something, because boy, do I ever need a life makeover.
So Julie and Stacey and the Chubby Mommy Running Club are now open for sponsorship and bribery for shameful self-promotion. Hollywood agents encouraged to apply.
Please email me at julieanderson (at) hotmail.com and we'll work something out.
And remember, Stacey is hot and looks good in designer sportswear. I'm just sayin'. And of course I'm happy to sample food and drinks, too.
June 10, 2009
12:04
If I Were a Slutty Flight Attendant
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: David Letterman [edit]

I did not stay up late enough last night to watch David Letterman call Sarah Palin a slutty flight attendant, but I did watch the video.
I try to be politically agnostic here at Chubby Mommy Running Club, but the phrase Slutty Flight Attendant is a good one. It conjures up so many images, most of which involve false eyelashes, red lipstick, short skirts, and well, maybe a former beauty pageant contestant or two, if we're honest.
In fairness to Mrs. Palin, I think she'd be a really good flight attendant, because she seems friendly, engaging, and like the type who would make sure your coffee is hot. She'd probably even slip you an extra bag of peanuts.
But modern flight attendants wear long skirts or pants and long sleeved blazers with silly scarves tied around their necks to block any possible cleavage overflow. Seriously, they're pretty conservative these days.
If I had the body and confidence to wear the outfit pictured above, I'd go for it in a heartbeat. I mean, the boots alone would be enough for me to take the job. I'd get to keep the boots even if I quit, right?
I'd have to be careful not to spill hot coffee on my bare legs, though, or I'd probably cuss up a storm. Wait, maybe that would be okay?
[Photo credit to the Upgrade Travel Better blog, who probably ripped this off from an old Southwest Airlines Ad archive file, but hey, he found it first!]
June 03, 2009
12:53
Malibu Stacey's Hot and @juliejulie Cheats
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: malibu stacey [edit]

First of all, let's just be honest with each other: Stacey's hot. So, here are a few photos for the people who visit this blog to see her, and could care less about me and my new bangs.

Listen, it doesn't bother me that you like looking at her more than you like looking at me. I mean, let's face it, she works her butt off to look this good, and I don't. More power to her.
Ok, now back to me.
Please?
As Stacey flits around the gym hamming it up for the camera and I sit in the corner on the Cybex machine pretending to do those bicep press thingys, I'm thrilled that she's too distracted to keep track of how many I've done.
At first I thought Stacey was just making up all these random masochistic exercises for me to do on the fly, to keep me busy while she talks about her new shoes and stuff. I figured she wouldn't even notice if I started cheating.
Did you know wall sits are harder with a Kettle ball between your knees, but easier if you lean forward?
Turns out Stacey does know, actually, and she gets all pissy when I do it. In fact, I think she added the heavy ball this week just to make up for the cheating I did last week.
I'm just sure. She's so bossy sometimes.
The good news is, I did manage to lose 2 pounds last week, and I'd like to credit the cottage cheese cups I ate every morning during my business trip to Duluth, MN. I wanted scones, but the thought of Madam Bossy Boots waiting for me back in Bend encouraged me to stay the course.
Also, the running is probably helping. I'm up to about a 4 mile loop now, but I still slow down and speed up, like Stacey taught me, to burn more fat, which makes me sweat. A lot. But I'm sure you'd rather see sweaty pictures of Stacey.
Ok, here's one more shot of her looking a little kittenish as she's showing off her new shoes. This is your reward for reading all the way to the end:

Thanks for stopping by to see (her) us.
Love,
@juliejulie
May 22, 2009
14:33
All About Me: in which even my personal trainer tells me I'm self-absorbed
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: self absorbed [edit]

So, you know how I implied that Malibu Stacey was sort of mean and controlling and pushy and only gives half high fives if you accidentally "fake-lose" 5% of your body fat when you stop running and eat mostly cookies for a week, because she uses a new body fat measuring thingy, in that earlier post?

You knew I was lying, right?

Also, when I implied that she's all full of herself and mostly just wants to look good in pictures in case talent scouts from The Biggest Loser, or some other reality trainer show could be reading this blog and maybe they want to create an entirely new reality show all about Stacey and her hunky personal trainer/paramedic husband named Big Jonnie?

Also lying.

I mean, you know, the truth is, she's actually very nice. And she's smart, too.
For instance, Malibu Stacey quickly figured out that I try to distract her from making me work hard at doing all her ridiculous exercises by telling her funny little jokes and stories. Yes, yes, most people figure this out, eventually.

So Smart Stacey started telling me her own funny little stories, to distract me, while I lifted the weights. And I gladly listened to them for a while, as I did more reps, that she pretended to count, even though I doubt she did.

The distracting me while I lift thing worked for a little bit, because even though I like to hear my own self talk, I do love a good story teller, and this girl is good.

But this week, Stacey sneakily upped the amount of weight on those fancy machines I've been using at Snap Fitness while I wasn't looking, and she just kept talking. And every time I started whining, she switched to another funny story.

She thought I wouldn't notice.

Julie: "My arms don't work."

Stacey: "Really?" she said. "Like, sore muscles?"

Julie: "No, like I really can't lift this thing. I mean, seriously."

Stacey: "Oh, sure you can, just do it, here, I'll get you started; nine more...so anyway, my husband said,"

Julie: "No, wait, I'm serious, this is really hard! What's wrong with me? It's really hard this week. Maybe I'm sick or something? This is so weird. Do I have a fever?"

Stacey: "You're not even listening to my story. Seven more."

Julie: "I do want to hear all about Jonnie, believe me, I do...ow."

Stacey: "Five more. I see. As long as you're telling the story it's fine, but the minute I start talking, you have to change the subject..."

Julie: "No, (ow) I'm trying to listen, it's just that my arms aren't working,"

Stacey: "Three more. Is it always all about you?"

Julie: "Listen (ow!) maybe I'm just low on energy, I didn't sleep very well. This is so hard! I did it last week!"

Stacey: "Three more. Oh. I upped that another 20 pounds this week. Maybe that's why."

Julie: "What? You said three more last time! I'm dying here! Twenty more pounds? Ow."

Stacey: "Yes! Look how strong you are. Two more."

Julie: "OW!"

Stacey: (whispers) "Don't say ow! I have a new client over there waiting for you me. I don't want her to think this hurts, it's her first time!"

Julie: "Fine. Just lie to her."

Stacey: "You're done! Wow, good for you. High five!"

Julie: "As if. I can't lift my arm, Stacey."

Stacey: "Here we go again...all about you, you, you."

(By the way, this photo was taken by Lisa Flynn, of Whipper Snapper Studios, who saw Stacey bossing me around on Facebook and called her to ask if Stacey could boss her around too. If you want to work with Stacey at Snap Fitness, let us know, Snap may even give you a Chubby Mommy Running Club discount!)
May 20, 2009
16:00
Golf Day with some Twits
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: twitter [edit]

For those of you who aren't on Twitter yet, just get over there and do it. You can meet all kinds of fun strangers on Twitter, and some day, you might even end up golfing with them. That's what happened to me.

Here is @nelsoneroni, for instance.

And here is @erinfelder, who delights in making her putts, as you can see:

And then there's @jenfloyd08, who plays so many sports that she often combines them to be more efficient with her time:

I, on the other hand, am a bit of a golf novice. Yesterday was the 5th time I've officially golfed. I lost a few balls when they hit trees (I didn't realize the trees had magnets in them, which attract the magnets in the balls - it's all so mysterious, really...)

Surprisingly, one of the balls I grabbed from my bag wasn't a real ball. It was lip gloss inside a fake ball. I got it at the Jeld Wen golf tournament last year at Sunriver. I thought it was clever, but then forgot about it. Turns out if you take a hard swing at a lip gloss golf ball, it shatters.

But the lip gloss still works!

I think we should have more Twitter Golf tournaments. It's a great way to get to know people in real life, and somehow justify all the time you waste online when you might be working, or something.

You can say things like "Oh, but I'm networking!" and "@nelsoneroni and I are going to do a cable access show, and we had to interview these other Twitter ladies to see if they'd join us for the synchronized swimming, and hula-hoop segments!"

Because then maybe your whole golf outing could be a tax write-off, and save you enough money in the long run to make a case for buying some cute golf-shoes.

Maybe.
May 19, 2009
6:52
The Moldy Costco Lifestyle
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Martha stewart [edit]

I find it hard to stick to my healthy eating plan when we get low on groceries.

I need my chicken and turkey to not be slimy, and wilted lettuce, bend-y carrots, and shriveled apples make me sigh and reach for peanut butter toast.

So last night I went to Costco and stocked up on the fresh. Now the problem is how to eat all these super-size containers of fruits and veggies before they get moldy in the heat.

I know I must enlist the help of the children to eat all of this produce. They will happily eat almost any fruit or vegetable that's washed, dried and put out in front of them, preferably on a hand made plate from a local artist, perhaps with a sprig of parsley and radish flower for garnish.

Too bad Martha Stewart isn't their mother.

I never have enough room in my fridge for all this stuff that lands in my cart at Costco, so I usually put the produce on the porch at night, where Bend's late spring temperatures can still drop down to 40'. I'm so clever to have thought of this, I think.

My problem is I always forget to bring bring everything back inside before noon, when the thermometer can climb back up to 88' on a good day, and close to 100' on a hot day.

So, then, you know, everything starts to mold. Then it gets cold at night again, so the mold gets cold, but it's still mold. Then it heats up again, so it's...not so good after a few days, which makes my husband frown.

"Why do you spend so much money on these science experiments?" He asks. "You could just leave the same bag of lemons out there all summer, you don't have to keep buying new bags on Mondays just to throw them away on Sundays."

So now it's time to make lemonade. And fruit salad. And lovely plates of fancy veggies artistically arranged around bowls of hand crafted hummus and what-not.

Except I'm the only one who eats hummus around here, and I don't even like it that much, so it always, you know, goes bad after a week or so, and sits in the back of the fridge, taking up space.

Martha, where are you when I need you? Also, could you clean out my fridge so I'll have more room in there for all this beautiful, fresh stuff?
May 14, 2009
17:11
Running Like the Wind
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: messy Hair [edit]

For heaven's sake, who ordered all this wind? Today it felt like I was running in slow motion, but I didn't look nearly as graceful as those boys in Chariots of Fire.

Good thing this blog isn't sponsored by Donald Trump...I don't think my hair would stand up to the competition's.

Oh well, at least I ran. I didn't yesterday, because it was rainy and cold and I was a wimp. So that means I'm no longer averaging one run a day. I suppose I could run twice tomorrow, but that seems like a lot of work.

Must keep trying, not crying. Also, I must remember my hairband tomorrow.
May 12, 2009
15:52
Run, run as fast as you can...
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: insomnia [edit]

Officially, this economy sucks.

Self-employed people like my husband and me are used to hustling for work, but lately we seem to have to hustle harder to get the kinds of contracts that used to come to us easily.

Unofficially, I'm still the same old cheerful, pithy @juliejulie, and I'm still happy to wake up every day to see what the day brings. I'm still willing to force the day to bring me something.

But for real? Stress can take it's toll, even on me. Stress gives me insomnia, which can be a bit of a drag, when you choose a busy life like I do, where people expect to see high energy from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.

So, I have new thing I'm doing to combat stress: whenever I feel the teeniest bit overwhelmed, I go for a walk or a run. I've been averaging 2 walks and one run a day. If my knees hold out, I should be in great shape by June.

Here's a picture of me after my mother's day run. I think I went 4 miles, but I was on trails and didn't know the exact distance. It sure felt like four miles! I'm running far enough now that I have to start brining a water bottle. This is a good sign.

So far, so good on my stress-fighting program. I'm sleeping well, and Stacey says I'm getting stronger, and lifting more weight at my workouts than I was last month when I started with her.

Plus, I just saw Star Trek today and I love how cute those Star Fleet gals look in their short dresses. I'm hoping all this running will make my legs short-skirt worthy. Except the What Not To Wear people say I can't wear anything too short, since I'm 43 now.

Anyone else have ways to deal with stress?
May 07, 2009
7:11
When Good Trainers Go Bad
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: wall sits [edit]

This is what it sounds like at Snap Fitness in Bend, when I go in for my personal training sessions with Malibu Stacey:

@juliejulie: "So, you really have to weigh me today?"

Malibu Stacey: "Yes, we said every two weeks."

@juliejulie: "But I had sort of a bad week. I didn't exercise much and well, I sort of fell off the wagon on the food thing."

Malibu Stacey: "Get on the scale."

@juliejulie: "Oh look. Not so good."

Malibu Stacey: "Huh. Why does this NOT surprise me? Let's check your body fat."

@juliejulie: "Why?"

Malibu Stacey: "Hold this thingy. Now."

@juliejulie: "Fine."

Malibu Stacey: "Wow. This doesn't seem right...you've actually lost 3% of your body fat. Hmm..."

@juliejulie: "Really? I rock! I should stop running and eat junk every week!"

Malibu Stacey: "No. Last time we used the other thingy to measure, this time we have a new thingy. It must be the thingy."

@juliejulie: "Killjoy."

Malibu Stacey: "Fine. I'll still give you a high five, or maybe a half of one. I don't really trust this thingy. But, you know, good job."

@juliejulie: "Are you going to eat the rest of that Calzone?"

Malibu Stacey: "Let's go do some wall sits."

@juliejulie: "I HATE wall sits, Stacey!"

Malibu Stacey: "I know."
April 21, 2009
7:32
Becoming Kate Jackson: @juliejulie Goes to Kickboxing
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: Will race Performance [edit]

Some things have changed since I was a kid. When I was 13, the Kick-Ass crime fighters wore sequins, and my best friend and I wanted to be just like them.

Now, they wear spandex and do Kickboxing, and we still want to be like them.

Yesterday I had my first Kickboxing class with a delightful person named Erin Joy of Will Race Performance Studio. Her name suits her.

Erin was happy to be there. I was too, until about 10 minutes into it. Then I realized that Kickboxing is really just a forum for doing lunges to hip-hop music.

But Erin's joy was a bit contagious, and I had to focus so hard on watching her and copying her moves, that I distracted myself just enough to make it through the hour. Well, most of the hour.

Erin looks much stronger than any of the original Charlies Angels. This makes me doubt their authenticity. If I were in a dark alley, I think I'd rather have Erin with me than Farrah, Kate or Jaclyn.

I think Erin would protect me from bad guys, and she'd be happy doing it:

Here is another reason Erin is buff:

She calls this the One Armed Plank and she made us try it after we kicked for an hour. I call it nearly impossible. You could try this at home, but I should warn you, it can lead to falling flat on your face and bonking your nose.

I still want to be like Kate Jackson, so I'll be doing Kickboxing again next week. If anyone wants to join me, Erin will be happy to let you try a free class. Sequins optional.
April 16, 2009
9:36
More Snap Fun: @juliejulie Plays with Staey and Big Black Tubes
» ‎ Chubby Mommy Running Club

Tags: wall sits [edit]
The secret world of personal trainers seems wacky to me. They must have closed-door meetings where they sit around and think of new forms of torture for their clients.

"Hey, let's take a big PVC pipe, fill it with water, cap it at both ends, then make them hold it while they do lunges!" (Insert shrieks of laughter and high-fives all around.)

Malibu Stacey: "I love this thing!"
Dork Alert: @juliejulie "This is ridiculous!"
After I made fun of Stacey and her silly ideas for a while (in a feeble attempt to get her to stop making me work so hard - which didn't work) she took me over to the high tech area, where they have "real" fitness machines.
We addressed the arm issue. I'm hoping she'll make my arms look like Michelle Obama's. She's hoping I'll stop whining
@juliejulie: "must.push.bar.up.now."
Malibu Stacey: "Light as a feather!"
And then, when she made sure my arms were all Jello-ish, she made me do the dreaded wall sit. I specifically said no wall sits, but she claims she didn't get the memo. She lies sometimes, I think.
This is me saying I will play her little "Wall Sit" game for two seconds.
This is Stacey getting distracted from counting to two. She was too busy taking pictures of herself to pay attention to me and my angst.
"I'm counting, I'm counting!" she says, between shots. Of herself.

This Stacey girl is sort of wearing me out. She says that's her job.
Here's are some reasons I do like Stacey though:
1. She said I don't have to run faster or longer, I actually have to run slower. Apparently, my body's grown used to my same old, same old 3-4 mile loop I've been doing for the past year, and what I really need to do is stay in my fat burning zone longer, not switch over to the muscle burning zone. For me, that's a slow jog or very fast walk. Sounds good to me.
2. She said my food journal looked great but I need to eat more lean meat and veggies at dinner. I love meat, because it is not sushi or tofu, so I'm all for this plan.
3. I'm not nearly as sore today as I was after the first day I worked out with her. I think that's good news. I haven't said "Bad Stacey!" even once today.
Next time, I'll tell you all about Bambi. She and her husband run the Will Race Performance Studio which partners with Snap Fitness at Northwest Crossing in Bend. They are marathoners, and she will make me do some kick boxing, I think. It should be a real hoot.

Bend Blogs » Chubby Mommy Running Club

Chubby Mommy Running Club

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