i have a lot of music i love. i mostly just love music in general. however. there are two bands that will always have a special place in my heart. introducing: my two favorite bands.
bloggy world. meet my Rockstar Dean. he's here! we went for a hike. he kissed my cheek. and made me smile. we sat on some rocks. and checked out the view. it's been really great. seriously. so great. so fun. so blessed am i.
i have a few really wonderful friends that i would like the bloggy world to meet:
taylor cailee. my best friend. wow, just wow. Fabiola Jasmine Maria Caceres. she has a long name and speaks spanish. rad. stephenie. my deep affection for monday mornings comes from this girl! Jenine. it was her birthday. and her idea to have a photo shoot. i love us.
i am stealing this from my friend Jordan's blog (jordan on the raw)... but i liked it and it kinda goes with my last post about relationships. He was at a college retreat and this was one of the teachings... i especially like #2 & #9
10 Commandments of Relationships: 1. Guys are the initiators and girls are the responders. Proverbs 18:22. Every lady known as an initiator of relationship in the bible was a whore.
2. Getting coffee does not equal marriage. Going on a date does not even mean you’re dating. Do not put your expectations on coffee.
3. Get a vision for the end before you begin. End meaning the start of your marriage, the alter… Get a vision for where you want to be financially, with your purity, how much baggage you want to bring into the relationship. Habakkuk 2:2, 1 Tim 5:8
4. When on a date guys should make it a goal to ask more questions than talk about themselves. James 1:14. Do not be dogmatic or opinionated, but rather open to new things.
5. Godly relationships stir you to pursue Jesus never to pull away. If a relationship begins to take you away from the church, your small group, and Godly accountability found in covenant friendship it is ungodly.
6. Keep your relationship in the light. 1 John 1:7
7. Guys need to lead the relationship. Lines are to be drawn, not discovered. Guys need to draw those lines and yet not be driven by a spirit of legalism. We are grace people.
8. How far is to far is the wrong question. It should be more like how much can I please God in this relationship. If you can hold her hand without going to bed in your mind then hold her hand. For some you may just need to high five it up for a while. Others kissing is okay… not a set rule.
9. Let the relationship happen naturally, do not force it. Say hello>get to know>be a bro>let it grow>give it a go>don’t be so slow.
I am passionate about Christ centered relationships. I have read nearly EVERY Christian dating book at the Family Christan Store. I have only had 1 "real" boyfriend. It was a high school relationship. Drama.
I have been reading my dear friend Bianca's Blog for a while now, and have LOVED her post about relationships, dating, coffee dates... click over and make sure to check out the comments page for great dialog!
Now it's my turn to weigh in on the "Christian Dating" conversation. I'm stoked.
A few years back i made a "rule" when it came to guys. My 2 simple rules for saying YES to a guy: #1. does he love Jesus? #2. did he have the guts to ask you out? If i answered yes to both of those questions, my belief was founded that any Jesus-loving guy who was brave enough to ask me out deserved AT LEAST Coffee.
Based on that rule, over the years i have gone on a TON of coffee "dates"... i told you i love coffee. I'm not saying i took advantage of coffee-buying guys, not at all. I just tried my best not to over-analyze the coffee-drinking, conversation-having moments in my life. I also didn't pray and get a prophetic word before going out to coffee to check with God to see if he could be "the one". it was just coffee. I would of course call my best friend and ask what i should wear, i for sure prayed a quick "please don't let me have insert-foot-in-mouth disorder today!" prayer on my way to the coffee spot. I would call my mom and get excited about the possibility, but i would always try to go into it with the notion that "it was just coffee" and we would see if he got an upgrade to dinner or coffee part 2.
Most guys didn't.
that being said; i've been on a lot of first dates. not very many second ones.
Nov. 19 2009.
the night before i had been asked out to coffee. He loved Jesus. He had the guts to ask me out. Mind you i had never seen this guy before he was walking up to me to ask me for my phone number. I didn't know anything about him. Quite honestly, i had my sights set on someone else... in a big way... however the reality was, that i was single, and he fit the rule. I gave him my number and as soon as i was out the doors i called my best friend FREAKING OUT!
"But i like (So-n-so)! I can't go to coffee with him, i am stuck on someone else!"
Praise the Lord for a best friend who tells you not to freak out and remember who you are. A risk taker.
to coffee i went. it was good coffee. and in fact it was the most interesting first date i had EVER been on. Not because of the weather, or the coffee or the fact that the guy across the table from me was a Rockstar on his way to fame. There was something so different about the conversation than any other coffee date i had ever been on. After coffee we took a walk and went to a park. Fun times jumping off the swings. Even before the final goodbyes were said and the Rockstar headed home, i quickly resumed my affections for "So-n-so".
3 days later everything i had been hoping for and banking with "So-n-so" on for 10 months ended.
10 days after that, and after a few txting conversations i got an email from the Rockstar. he wanted to be my friend. (insert cassie's very puzzled facial expression here). I instantly thought he wanted more than a friendship and being that i was a mess of mixed emotions i shut him down. He didn't relent that easily. 2 days later he told me he wanted to make sure i hit the call of God on my life and that he had no other motives in being my friend other than to see me win at life. Something inside me knew he wasn't bluffing.
friends we became. good friends. long phone conversation friends. lots of txt messaging friends.
2 months and 6 days after our coffee date something changed. i realized i didn't like being friends with this Rockstar. i wanted something else. something more. in the next 7 days we spent some 20 hours on the phone. (yes that's like a part time job!)
11 days after that he bought a plane ticket and i announced to the world of Facebook that i was dating the Rockstar and that he was coming to visit me in 22 days.
this is my blogosphere announcement that i am dating an amazing man of God who lives in Minnesota. Who loves Jesus. He Came to Bend Oregon. Played a show. Saw a girl and was brave enough to ask her to coffee.
in 8 days i will be picking up my Rockstar man from the airport. I would imagine that the day after that we will go on date #2. He might even get an upgrade to dinner. ;)
the first post i ever wrote on this blog was dedicated to my older brother: click here. to read it.
the following is a post my mama wrote on her blog. i couldn't help but re-post it. to honor my brother. my hero. my American Solider with a name, face, heart and tattoos i love. i love you Gregory James. come back soon. i miss you already.
----------- A Wounded Soldier Please pray for my oldest son, Gregg, today. He has packed up his little car and headed out on a new life adventure. He is driving to Texas today ... searching for a new life ... searching for a job ... searching for friends ... searching to find God in new ways ...
Gregg has struggled in his walk with the Lord. He has ridden a roller-coaster of faith for the past 10 years. He wants to get off the roller-coaster. He wants to be grounded in his faith. Yet ... his past haunts him and taunts him.
Gregg served 4.5 years in the army ... serving 2.5 of it on the front lines in Ir*q. Gregg was a gunner on a humvee for 6 months. He was a humvee driver for 6 months. And, he was a sniper in Baghd*d for 1.5 years. Gregg has seen and experienced more in his young life than any of us ever want to see or experience. Gregg relives those years ... in his nightmares.
Gregg is moving to Texas. He has an army buddy there. This friend, is his only friend, that can truly understand what haunts him. No one else can understand, unless they have walked in his army boots.
Please pray for Gregg ...
... that the Lord would protect him as he drives.
... that the Lord would lead him and direct him.
... that he would truly give up control of his life, to the Lord.
The following was written recently by Gregg ... on his Fac*book page. I don't have Fac*book, so I wasn't aware of it until he told me about it last night.
I am sharing this with you, so you might get a glimpse into his heart ... the heart of a hurting young man ... who returned from war ... with many unseen wounds.
written by Gregg (age 25)
Pain. It's what is real in my life It's the only thing that is true I look inside but find nothing more than a fire It burns so bright, but is consuming everything With little left I have to do something Somehow I must stop it all If time could stop, I hold my breath In hopes to stop the flames I know I must turn my back on this
How much pain does it take How many tears must fall There's a fire inside It's consuming everything Why can't I stop it all I'm losing my grip This pain is driving the tears Oh how I must give up control I've only made a mess of it All this brokenness around me Will I finally give up control
Having let go Light in this darkness There is only one that can pilot this ship From the edge Driven back to the light But the pull of darkness is strong I keep looking back It's there, yes it's still there Giving up control is the way Craziness still has its grip on my arm
Every day it's open Every day it's there Every day it's honest Every day it's kept on hold Every day it's always so loud Every day it's why I fall on my face Every day it's why I cry out Every day it's why I hope Every day it's why I trust in Him Every day it's why I know Every day it's why the sun comes up Every day it's cause of the beauty that I see
He is why I turn away He is why I trust He is why I open up my soul He is why my heart is put back together He is why I cry He is who I meet He is who I know He is who I trust He is who I love
Without Him I am lost Without Him I hurt Without Him I can't hold on Without Him I fall into the darkness Without Him I have no faith Without Him I have no hope
Because of Him I see Because of Him I am healed Because of Him I take one step and then another Because of Him I have hope Because of Him I step out in faith Because of Him I see what He has for me Because of Him I can let go
To change To turn about To walk away To hold fast to Him To know that life goes on To know LOVE, His love To believe Him
grace |grās| noun 1 the free and unmerited favor of a superior. 2 simple elegance or refinement of movement. • an attractively polite manner of behaving.
this word has been swirling around in my head for 2 months. exactly 2. i have had countless conversations about it. i have lay awake at night thinking about it. i have word vomited my thoughts on it to countless people. it's been churning inside me in a very deep place.
the Church has lost grace. bold statement? perhaps. too bold? not in my opinion. the Church is really good at blame, judgment and condemnation. Grace? not always. Sometimes? yeah for sure... but in general, the way i see it; grace is missing in the Church.
don't get me wrong. we (the Chruch) LOVE receiving grace. we love the grace of God. we love that he reaches down from Heaven and extends his FAVOR to us. Not because of anything we have or have not done. (Romans 3:24) However in my recent observation of grace we don't have a very accurate picture of grace.... We go to church and ask for a touch of grace. We seek a moment of grace. We see grace as the band-aid to our sin. Grace is so much more than a band-aid or warm fuzzy we feel in worship. UNMERITED FAVOR! It has nothing to do with us. nothing. i can't sing loud enough, pray hard enough, cry big enough tears. i can't do anything. it just is. grace. it reaches for us and all we have to do is believe that it's there, receive it and start to live righteous lives because of it. i don't have to have my crap together to receive it. if i thought i did or tried to, i wouldn't be receiving grace, i'd be trying to get my gold stars for doing my chores.
so what happened to it? if we understand those statements about grace, does it stop there? is grace solely unmerited favor from God? can grace move through us? can it go beyond us?
sometimes i think it gets stuck at the altar. and sadly, i think we are often ok with that.
i see people who have loved God. known God. walked with God. soaked in his presence. seen his healing. prayed the prayers. waved the banners. served the poor. gone to Africa. done the stuff. hit the mark. walked in calling and purpose.
but.
sometimes.
even these people stumble and fall. they miss the mark. the drink more and worship less. they party more and listen less. they booty-dance it up. they wave different banners.
what happened to grace for these ones? yeah. these ones. the ones who loved, served, prayed, cried, worshiped, went. then, for whatever reason, they drank, partied, danced, messed up. what happened to grace for them?
sometimes stuff happens. and we get distracted from the call of God. we get messed up. we miss the mark. does grace extend to us then? does grace extend even to those places?
biblicaly? heck yes.
Churchly? not so much.
churchly is for sure not a word, but hang in there. we (the Church) love the lost. (at least we claim to). we love to see people "miraculously" saved. We love to see people do a 180 from growing up in a cult to leading worship on our mission trips. We love to see the tattooed ex-drug crazies passionately pursuing Jesus. We love to see the savage in the jungle hear the truth for the first time. we love the salvation stories of those who never knew a loving God. We even make videos to tell their stories at big events. transformation. the word alone gets us all in a happy dance.
is this grace? yes.
We(the church) are real bad at it when it comes to those who have once had the "it" of God on their life and for whatever reason have lost it. We don't extend grace to them. We leave them in their crap and judge them harshly when they come to back looking for hope.
the part 2 of the definition gets me.
2 simple elegance or refinement of movement. •an attractively polite manner of behaving.
if this is grace we need more of it in the way we act towards those who are lost. those have been here and are out "there". i am sick of the dirty looks, sassy faces and "witty" comments. i am over the fake pity extended to those who have known God and for some reason have missed it for a time. i am ready for real grace to be found by the church again. undeserved, unmerited favor.
i won't go on about the word favor, but ponder for a minute what that one looks like.
as for me...
i am going to stop trying to do my chores and get my stars. i am going to live in the grace that has been extended towards me. i am going to press on towards righteous living. i am going to extend grace to the lost. i am going to extend grace to the ones who have lost what they once had. i am going to try and move and act with a refinement of movement.
i took this picture: i can hardly believe it's been 5 years. for some reason this was one of my favorite schools we visited in The Gambia, West Africa. Perhaps its because this picture is from it, or perhaps it's because i remember the little kiddos prayers.... i'm not sure exactly, but i do know that my hearts is aching to go back to Africa. especially today for some reason.
oh.nine. you were mighty fine. last year, right about now, you were full of wonder and excitement. right now you are full of memories. for now, here's my thankful list from this wondrous, exciting, memory filled year.
i'm thankful for... ...january 30 2009. you will always be the day that held a surprise, that changed my life. ...snow. although it's cold, it really is beautiful. ...-4* weather to walk through drake park and take pictures in. ...february 7th. the day jenna left to live a dream i got to pray into. rad. ...learning about love on so many levels. ...mexico. you will always tear me apart. in so many ways. ...day trips to portland. fantastic girl time at Forever21. ...photog genius surrounding my life. Alycia White. Benjamin Edwards. Gary&Courtney. AbiQ. Jasmine Star. You all inspire me to pursue my dreams. ...preaching. this is what i was created to do. ...road trips to Seattle and beyond. Oh Pike Place, always save me some french bread love. ...february 21. i moved in with 3(+baby) people i barely knew and now call family. Mike, Allie, Sienna and Brie my heart is forever thankful for each of you in my life. seriously i am blessed beyond words. ...email. it connects me to places unseen by my eyes. ...ali roberts. small. powerful. mighty. ...wintercamp09. changed my life. ...april 12. the easter that changed my perspective on eternity on my doorstep. ...healing that is undeniably God. ...april 21. celebrating 2 years in Bend Oregon. ...living out dreams. ...Beth Fischer. Seriously. NO WORDS could describe the thankful spot in my heart for you. ...Mission-Minded quotes. oh Ann Dunagan, you feed my mission driven heart! ...i heart sisters. ...the sound that gmail chat makes when you receive an instant message, it gave me 2,000 heart attacks, a million goose bumps and stopped the waiting. i will always recognize it. ...the hike up Dog Mountain that taught me to preserver. ...truth reviled. although painful, healing will come. J,S & R, i love you with all my heart and wish i could have saved you each from the pain of a world so far away, and lost in sin. ...family. for the first time in 2 years we were all together this summer. thanks Jesus, that was great. ...road trips to California. too much fun to list. ...wake boarding. Eric & Lindsey, please come back to teach me more tricks this summer! ...Lopez Island. Mama, i know you think i hate it, but i don't. ...Pastor Cliff Tadema. Thanks for believing in my Papa. My heart has never been more proud. ...13 questions that i never saw the answers to, but know they changed a life. ...lunch on wednesdays. it's always cheap food, but BRILLIANT conversation. Stephenie Madsen i blame you for my deep affection for wednesdays, but wouldn't have it any other way. ...Jesse & Taylor. WOW! need i say more? ...Twitter. seriously who told me this was a good idea?!?! ...July 26th. Jeremiah. way to take a risk. ...perspective. it changes things. ...real grace. thank you, thank you Lord we praise you. You ARE GOOD. Jordan, the words that you penned, but i'm sure were stolen from my heart. ...skype. CarissaLynn i believe Jesus invented skype for us. ...fuel for my dreams. Katie Davis. Bianca Juarez. Shilo Taylor. real life heroes. ...P.B.&J. Lashae Brewer. You, sister, inspire me. ...september 21 septemeber 28, october 10, october 19, november 21, november 22 -wonderful yet painful. i wouldn't trade you for the world on a string. ...hope that never dies or runs out. ...surprises 7 years later. i can plan my life, but only God knows how it will unfold and pop out to surprise me. i love it that way. ...my 180 lifegroup girls. i love you all. ...Seven. you will always and forever have a very special place in my heart. i love you. ...seasons. they change. they add flavor. ...my parents. they will live in a Mansion in heaven, i'm sure of it. ...Silverline Music. not my favorite band, not my favorite style of music, but i respect these 5 men of God who walk in the anointing God has placed on them, even if they play mean jokes on me :) ...my Nikon D70. Keep clicking away ole'buddy, you serve me well. ...Phil Gammel. You saved my imac. for this i am eternally grateful. I have your Christmas present waiting for you. ...Westside church. You are only a building, but you contain a vision that challenges me to run well. ...losing control. it's a brilliant miracle that we need to embrace. ...podcasting messages from around the world. food to my soul. yummers. ...my Jesus who never turns away from me. Thanks friend. We had a good year. You kept me sane in the silence and lonely times. You held my hand and held me back. You saved me over and over. ...my Abba in Heaven. You love me and i move your heart. this will always amaze me. Thanks for speaking to me in so many ways. thanks for guarding me. Let's keep talking in 2010. ...my counselor, The Holy Spirit, thanks for the Power to walk in the ways of the righteous. without you i am lost. Thanks for the intimacy i long for. Thanks for the whispers and peace. Thanks for taking my secrets to the throne. Thanks for bridging the gap between the seen and unseen. thanks for the signs of who You are.
this is what i can think of at midnight. i am thankful for so much. i'm sure i missed somethings, but seriously. i am so thankful for this last year. it was truly full of wonder and when i said "bring it on" last year on my blog... i had NO IDEA what i was getting into. but so thankful i did.
it looks like i am taking a trip to Georgia when summer rolls around! my little bro is getting hitched and the girls who has captivated his attention for the last few months is a lovely southern belle. i had the privilege of taking a few engagement photos for the incredible couple this weekend! Congratulations little brother. i love you. Welcome to the (crazy) family Ruth. You are beautiful, incredible and way out of my brother's league!!!! i'm so happy for you both! Hooray for SUMMER WEDDINGS IN GEORGIA!!!!!!!
"On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."" Acts 1:4-5w-a-i-t.
waiting; stinks. is a bummer. is not fun.
i waited to take my turn on the little red bike. This is the thing about sharing bikes. You must wait.
i waited on the couch for the arrival of 2 little bundles papa & mama were bringing home. this is the thing about babies, they take awhile to get here and you must wait.
i waited for my birthday. this is the thing about birthdays, they only come once a year. You must wait.
i waited for track season to come. Winter had to come before spring, and so you must wait.
i waited for the plane to land in the place i only saw in my dreams. India is far away and so you must wait for the plane to land.
i was told a promise, without a date of delivery on it, but a promise non the less. it's out there and i must wait.
i waited for the secret to become a reality. it did, but i had to wait as to not spoil the surprise.
i waited for the phone call. it never came, but a few days later an email came in it's place.
tic-tic-tic-tic. the sound of the clock was never comforting in the waiting, it just proved that i was. waiting. the crossing off days on the calendar only furthered the proof that i was waiting. a certain "bleep" noise often gave me a heart attack and was proof that, for at least a moment, the waiting was over. sometimes waiting is an obvious state of being. sometimes it's kind of sneaky. sometimes when you are waiting you hold your breath. sometimes when you are waiting you skip through daisies.
i had been waiting for a certain something so long, i waited subconsciously. The waiting. it's there, but you aren't always conscious of the effect it has on your life. Eventually the waiting ended, or so i thought it did. But it really didn't. And then it really did. This is when i realized i had been so caught up in my subconscious waiting i forgot to actually breath.
after nearly a year of waiting i got a answer, not the one i wanted or expected or had spent many nights hoping for, but the complete opposite.
2 weeks and 3 days later i heard something. it shocked me in my seat and sent my mind whirling: "you've been waiting for the wrong thing. The waiting you were doing wasn't wasted or wrong, but your focus in the waiting could have been better directed.Wait. for. the Holy. Spirit. Wait."
i wasn't distracted waiting for the wrong thing. i just could have waited better.
i hate waiting. hate. yes it's strong word, but it's the truth. i am getting good at it, but that doesn't make me love it....it just means i can do it.
a new normal has taken over my life in the last 19 days. i'm still waiting, but instead of waiting to hear the "bleep" that gives me a heart attack, i am waiting to hear a voice. a still. small. voice. a kind voice. a voice that doesn't condemn me, but builds me up. i am waiting on the Holy Spirit.
And when i have waited long enough i know that the waiting will turn into holding the promise. the promise with an un-known delivery date. the promise that won't delay. the promise that only the Holy Spirit knows the tracking number to.
but for now i am learning more and more to embrace this little 4 letter word.
Surrender (sur⋅ren⋅der) –verb: to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.
i like to think of myself as an artist of sorts. i can paint pictures in my head much better than i can on a canvas. i can capture moments in time with the push of a button and the right lighting. i can attempt to convey an image with words.
i also like to think of myself as a closet perfectionist. i love it when things are symmetrical and balanced. i like the dumbers 6, 10, 22 and 150 because they divide in half perfectly. i like my socks to match, and not only each other, but what i am wearing. i like my bed to be made everyday. i like my books in order and my nails painted, not chipped. and although i like all those things that way, i am not anal about them being that way. My bed is not currently made, i have more books in boxes than on my shelf in order. just re-painted my nails, and they are already chipping.
surrender. it's a tough word. it's not a word that makes me want to jump up and down and do the happy dance. it's not easy or fun. Every time i think i have surrendered something God, i find out i can surrender it more. Many times i go to the alter. i fall on my face. i give up my life to the will of God, and yet 24 minutes later i am trying to pick it all back up and figure it out. this is why i say surrender is an art.
i have been learning to yield my desires to the perfect will of God. To give up what i think is best in exchange for the un-known is a scary place to be. To be headed one direction and all of a sudden find the road ended with no warning or sign of continuing is terrifying. Relinquishing my control to the Power of someone i can't see is hard to do. this is why i say surrender is an art.
not very many artist wake up at age 2 and can paint 'a starry night' (van gogh). It takes time and practice. it takes messy up a few (hundred) canvases to get it right. it takes throwing the brush down and walking away. it takes the understanding that it may take years before you get it right. not every artist will be known like van gogh. Not every painting will be sold for the value the painter put into it. learning all these things builds the artist up. makes them a stronger artist and person.
surrender makes me stronger. it builds me up. it may take me a few hundred times to get it right. it may take me throwing my hands up and walking away. it may take years to understand the reasons behind the surrender. it's not easy or fun... yet somehow in surrender there is Joy. real. lasting. Joy. that doesn't come from a free coffee, nice smile or splendid weather. It's unshakable by our circumstances, it lasts beyond this moment, it lifts you up and holds your head high when situations want to get the best of you. this is why i say surrender is an art.
i think this joy comes from the deep set knowledge that The One i am surrendered to holds the keys to life and death. I am surrendering my desires for His un-imaginable plan. I am surrendering my hope for a Hope that never ends. I am surrendering my future to Someone who holds eternity in the palm of his hand. this is why i say surrender is an art.
here i sit in the messy studio called life. On the wall to my left there is nothing but a huge canvas. It's framed beautifully, but the painting is not complete. The edges are all there and the paint is creeping into the middle, only part of the picture is clear, as if the artist doesn't know how to fill in the blank spots. The once white sheets that cover the hard wood floor are matted and covered in all shades of emotions. Red. Blue. Purple. Green. Yellow. The stool i sit on is strong from the foundation i came from and soft from the love i have been growing in. The water that cleans the paint brushes is made mostly from tears i have collected. Half painted canvases lay about the room. They are dreams that have yet to be framed by the years of a life lived long. the tin and rusting garbage can is full of crumpled sketches that never made it from the notebook pages to a canvas. They are the dreams that were born from silly places, mad places and places only meant to grow a creative imagination. Behind me is a window. Sun light pours in from the cold outdoors and warms my back. I can hear the wind rushing through the juniper trees. The door is open a bit and i can hear the music of other lives pouring in as if to encourage me to keep painting. My tshirt is stained from sweat and paint. I think the left sleeves has a mascara stain that will never come out. The jeans i wear are ripped at the knees and hem, those are the perks of being short and spending time on my knees. I like to paint barefoot. My toenails are pink. My hair is a beautiful dark mess of curls and braids. My face is striped in different shades of pale by the tear streaks in my foundation. My blue eyes stare wildly at the mostly white canvas on the easel in front of me. Searching for the brush i need, my hands shake and knock something off the table that rolls across the floor. I think it was a bouncy ball. As i look back at the canvas the confusion of what i am working on stares back at me. There is vision in my head. There is something i am trying to convey in this piece, yet it doesn't seem to be making sense. The colors are blending weird and the moments are passing drying them in places i didn't expect them to stay. It looks differently than what i had originally thought i was painting. It's beautiful, but not what i thought it would be. I hear my Teacher behind me...somewhere beyond the window, encouraging me to keep painting. Telling me that it's OK, and that this happens to all His students. I dip the brush into my favorite color. Purple. Music. As i bring the brush to the canvas i can feel my hand shaking and the tears coming. Listening to the Instructor i let the wet paint brush glide across the stiff canvas just as i am told, not because i understand, but because i trust my Teacher.
In 24 years i have had my fair share of friends. Best friends. Facebook friends. Camp friends. Long-distance friends. School friends. Twitter followers/friends. Choir friends. Work friends. Myspace friends. Car friends. Long time friends. Short term friends. Deep friends. Pen-pal friends. Shallow friends. Sports friends.
the ones that have impacted my life and i hold closest to my heart have one thing in common: they are faithful friends.
faithful friends are hard to find, but once they are there they most likely will not be going anywhere soon. this is part of the brilliance of faithful friends.
need a shoulder to cry on because your mom is too far away? get faithful friends.
want someone to txt until midnight just because your room is too quiet? get faithful friends.
need the truth spoken in love but your dad won't answer his phone? get faithful friends.
want to look at someone and know that they know your thoughts? get faithful friends.
need a place to sleep because your room is lonely? get faithful friends.
want to wake up at 3 am but need a good reason to? get faithful friends.
need to know you can "ugly" cry without worry of silly looks? get faithful friends.
want to look forward and see something constant in your life? get faithful friends.
this is Jesse and Taylor. J and T. Jesse and Tay. Pastor Jesse and T.T.
these are my faithful friends. My thankful list for them is longer than Santa's shopping list.
I remember the first time i met each of them. I remember lots of random encounters with them. Good Friday 2008. I remember watching from a distance as they fell in love. I remember sipping chai with Tay as she told the story of Jesse's proposal. I remember talking wedding plans. I remember Jan. 30 2009 so clearly.... but mostly i remember God's hand in it all. It's all HIS fault. He set us up, and we fell for it...I could never have guessed upon meeting either of them that just a few short years later our lives would be where they are now.
fun. laughter. breakfast. family outings. pain. fajitas. swings. trials. coffee dates. prayer txting. weddings. tears. hopes. biggest loser. ferry rides. michael buble. late night adventures. safeway. wishes. floating the river. road trips. coupons. hospital visits. cup cakes in a mug. prayers. dreams.
They have been the essence of faithful. The sacrifices they have made to let me be apart of their life blow my mind. The way they love me as if i was family is astounding. The prayers they have prayed on my behalf have blessed my heart beyond words. The belief they have in the call of God on my life is humbling. The way they show selfless love towards each other is an example i have yet to see matched (other than by my parents).
Jesse, thanks for sharing your amazing wife with me. I'm so grateful. I'm sure you didn't think the first year of marriage would look anything like it has... much less that your wife would have a twin/shadow. Thank you for going to Seattle so we could have a girls weekend. Thank you for letting her rub my back and wipe my tears as i fall asleep. Thanks for sharing the incredible gift God gave you in Tay. I'm blessed that you would share her with me so freely and graciously.
Tay. There really are no words. Between the 2 of us in the last few months i am pretty sure there is nothing we have not faced. The giggles. The tears. The pain (physical & emotional). The joys. The silliness. I never thought i would get another sister, but God had a surprise for me hidden away in Bend via McMinnville and Bend again. I am so blessed. I love that we finish each others sentences and thoughts. I love that we laugh at the same things. I love that we order chai exactly the same way. i love that both our dad's are pastors. I love that we both LOVE michael buble and may or may not take pictures of the TV when he is on. I love that we can sit in silence and be completely ok with it. I love that when words are not enough you just are. i love that we can eat a whole bag of puppy chow together. i love that we have had a consistent txting conversation for about 8 months. I love that my days end with a goodnight from you and start with a good morning. I love that we can talk about the deepest things 1 minute and in an instant can be laughing so hard we are crying. I love that we wear the same size. Thank you for everything you have been to me this year. Thanks for being my mom when i needed it. Thanks for being my Best Friend. Thanks for being a sister in Bend. Thanks for being YOU. Thanks for being honest. Thanks for believing in my dreams. Thanks for wanting the BEST for me. Thanks for sharing your kitchen with me. This blog post could not contain the reasons i am blessed by you. Even in the last 7 days, as life has taken another twist or 2, you have been faithful and wonderful to me through it all. i am so blessed. my heart is overwhelmed with thanksgiving and all i wish is that i was better at showing it.
dear Jesus, thank you for J and T. thanks for incredibly fun times. thanks for the faithfulness of friends that only you can give. Jesus, bless them YOUR BEST... Open doors they never dreamed possible. Take them to places they never imagined. Bring encouragement at the perfect moments. Shower down wisdom where it's needed. Drop surprises at the perfect times. Set them up with people who enhance the dreams and calling you have placed on their lives. Set your kingdom before them as a prize to reach for. Enlarge the ministry you have called them to. Deepen the deep places. Open the windows of heaven and let your presence envelope them. Keep all kinds of evil away from their house. Cover them with your protection. Provide for all their needs and some of the wants too. Show your faithfulness evident in their marriage and life. Mostly, will you somehow show the thanks and gratefulness that my heart and hands can't type into a blog post. Amen.
this is where i am. lost. confused. found. focused. safe. grateful. sad. un-sure. full of faith.
this is where i may be for a little while, but knowing it will pass is a heart warming thought.
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 10:35-11:1
thanks for your grace as i walk out this season. it feels like a horrible ending, but i know it's just the beginning of somethings beautiful and brilliant.
ok, so i did my "Get 7 brothers" and "Get 5 sisters" posts... i was going to title this one, "get parents", but for some reason it didn't seem to work... need anything? get RAD parents they will at least do what they can to make sure you get it.
want to know how to make good food? get RAD parents, they teach these types of things.
need advise from a million miles away? get RAD parents, they gladly will offer.
want to drink chocolate milk, just for fun? get RAD parents.
need a shoulder to cry on? get RAD parents they own lots of tear stained t-shirts.
want to laugh until you cry? get RAD parents they are funny folks.
My parents are stinking AMAZING! I don't even know how i got so blessed with them! I am probably one of the luckiest girls in the world.Papa and Mam'moo have been married for 27 years and get cuter and cuter all the time!
My Papa loves my Mama and they have been amazing examples of self-less living. I don't even know how they have been able to do all the things they have done. The only explanation of who they are is the POWER of God working in them and through them. They don't waver in the sight of adversity, they don't bend at the change of popular culture. They stand. They look UP for direction. They blow my mind with the strength they have exhibited through the thick and thin of life.
Cancer. Tumors. Surgeries. Death. Sickness. War. Pain.
things that make most people shutter have only brought strength to my parents. Not easy, but who says working out is a piece of cake? They have muscles, because of the fight they have fought.
they fight for their marriage. they fight for their kids. they fight for truth. they fight.
dear Jesus, thank you for my parents. thanks for silly times. thanks for the love that nothing can take away. Jesus, please bless my parents with YOUR BEST... Open doors they never dreamed possible. Make straight the crooked and crazy paths. Bring encouragement into the dark place. Drop confetti on the bright places. Bring wisdom in chaos. Break off anything that hinders what you have for them. Set your kingdom before them as a prize to reach for. Enlarge the ministry you have called them to. Grow the weaker areas. Deepen the deep places. Give them new dreams, more desires, let the Holy Spirit inspire creative thoughts and ideas. Most of all give them everything i failed to as a daughter. Give them grace. love. provision. Amen.
i feel like i need a t-shirt that says: Warning! Contents under pressure. Much Grace needed.
i'm in a microwave of spiritual growth right now, and it's way intense.
the pressure of loving deeply. to love at all is to risk. to love beyond what you thought possible is to forgive. to love beyond forgiveness is to lose control. In the last 5 months i have learned to love deeply. Someone i love hurt others and hurt me in the process. i learned to forgive them through a process of choosing love not hate. beyond that i learned to love them so deeply that i realized last week i was willing to do anything to control that love. i loved to the point of tears. i loved to the point of breaking. i loved deeply. when it came to let the risk of that love go i realized how deep it was. i won't stop loving this person, but i won't be able to control how that love is shown, accepted or received. all i can do is continue to love. in the pressure of learning to love deeply my heart was wrung and possibly broken. however, somehow in that broken, hurt place i realized that i can't stop loving the "un-lovable". i can't control how that love is taken. i can't lock my heart up because of hurt. i can love again. i can love more deeply. i can love beyond what i thought was possible or reasonable.
the pressure of trusting deeply. i could put a "..." from my loving deeply to trusting deeply, because they go hand in hand. to love deeply is to trust deeply. to trust deeply is to believe that beyond your control of the situation is a God who is 100% faithful. He always comes through. ALWAYS. in the last week i have had to figure out how to take that from my head and heart and into my hands, feet & speech. i have to trust with my life. i have to trust that letting go of what i thought i could control is the best thing i can do. i have to trust that in letting go, flight will come, healing will come and LIFE will come. Not because it "just happens" but because the faithfulness of God is undeniable. do i really trust who God says he is?
the pressure of deep faith. i am tired of the word faith. i'm over it. i'm over the Christian lingo. i'm over people telling me to "stir up my faith". Not because i don't have faith, but because we have lost sight of what faith really is. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Heb. 11:1) Certain of what we DO NOT SEE. i can't see where the money will come from. i can't see how the healing will come. i can't see the buyer for a house. i can't see the promise. Certain of these things? Not because i have some secret knowledge of how they will happen or that they are a guarantee, but because i have FAITH in a God who hasn't failed me yet. we (the church) are really good at talking about faith, however i see us worrying and complaining a lot more than we are actually living the faith we claim to have.
so please excuse me if i've been emotional. please forgive me if i have offended you. please don't think i don't like you if i didn't smile or say hello. i'm in a microwave. i'm being stretched like a balloon already full of air, with someone still blowing. the pressure is intense. i don't have all the answers. i don't even understand this growth, i just can feel it happening.
yesterday i cried "Jenna tears" or "pretty tears". the kind that come from somewhere else and gently slide down your cheeks and onto the table. the kind where, somehow you know your face is not looking all crooked and weird, but soft and beautiful. it was in that moment that the pain of what i had been feeling collided with the light and i saw the growth that had been happening. it was rich and beautiful. i didn't even care who saw the tears. somehow i knew it was going to be ok.
so please excuse me if i've been bold and crazy. please forgive me if i screened my calls. please don't take my silence as pride. i'm in a greenhouse and it's sticky in here.
i'm sorry if this post is vague and cryptic. i can't explain the details behind the deep love. i can't explain the pain behind the deep trust. but if you see me and my eyes are bluer. if my passion seems quiet. if my hair is wild and un-tamed. it has nothing to do with bad things. it's the pressure of growth coming to the surface. my one request is that you please give grace to this growth.
can't find the right shoes to wear with that one outfit? get 5 sisters. One of them is bound to wear the same size. need someone to giggle with during the wee-hours of the morning? get 5 sisters. They are perfect for this kind of thing.can't decide if you want to cut your hair or keep it long? get 5 sisters. One of them might look like you and have the opposite of what you do.... look at a picture of them to decide. want to skype date just because your room is too quiet and you need someone to hear you think while you edit 900 pictures? get 5 sisters. they are perfect for these occasions. need to tell someone how good-looking that guy is but your friends are sick of hearing about him? get 5 sisters. most likely they want to tell you the same sort of thing. God knew i would be somewhat of a girly-girl, so he gave me 5 sisters to share in the FUN! God knew i would need someone's shoulder to cry on when words didn't meet a need, so he gave me 5 sisters knowing at all times at least 1 shoulder would be free. God knew i couldn't handle 7 brothers all alone, so he gave me 5 sisters to tickle, tackle and race those brothers with.
sister #1 {Carissa Lynn age 20)She was born with the most insane hair ever! Beautiful BLACK straight hair that covered her whole little head and stood straight up all the time!!! It was easier to tell those little twins apart because of that wonderful hair. Carissa was my first sister and ray of sunshine being that i was stuck between two crazy boys! She was great for any sisterly activities growing up. She loved everything i did... which was great until i was 12 and wanted to not having little clones. By the time i was 16 i got over it and realized that no matter how many 'friends' stabbed me in the back or were mean, Carissa would always be there and it would work out lots better for both of us if i didn't mind if she wanted to be like me. I'm honored to have this one in my life. She is one of my real-life-living heroes. Carissa speaks Spanish, dreams Spanish, eats Spanish and lives Spanish in Argentina! Someday she will come visit me in Africa... but first i have to get there... **Secret about Carissa: her "wing-span" (finger tip to finger tip) is longer than she is tall!**
sister #2 {Lindsey Marie age 20}7 minutes after sister #1 i got sister #2!!!! I seriously must be the luckiest girl ever, you see i already had 2 brothers and am pretty sure i would have been totally happy with 1 little sister, but instead of 1 i got 2 in one day!!! Lindsey also had GREAT hair when she was born, black straight hair that lay perfectly in place on her perfectly round head! The problem Lindsey had when she was little was being twin #2, see not only was she twin #2, but D kiddo #5! This is a big place to fill in the family.... she was the caboose for a year and a half and it wasn't all that grand! Lindsey is my little musical sister, when we were little she was on a dance team, took piano lessons, sang all the time and as she grew up learned guitar and kept music within reach at all times. Lindsey is also my only sibling that has been to a country that will always have rights to a top 5 favorites ever spot in my heart, INDIA! Don't tell her, but i am actually quite jealous that she got to see more of the country than i did. Lindsey is full of passion for life and Christ. I'm excited to see what God's BEST is for Lindsey!!! **secret about Lindsey: she had the first broken bone in our family**
sister #3 {Hosanna Joy age 13}Literally a dream come true is Hosanna. I was 10 years old and as i did a lot of mornings growing up i went into Mama's bathroom to watch her "get ready" for the day. As i sat on the toilet and she did her makeup i told her about the dream i had the night before; In the dream i got a new little sibling more specifically a little sister!!! Unbeknown to my little 10 year old mind, my parents were not "planning" on another little D coming anytime soon. However not too long later we were sorting socks as a family and my dad asked me if i remembered the dream i had... this was the creative way to tell us kids that Baby #8 was on it's way! I started jumping around and being all excited before any of my siblings could catch up with the fact that i had a dream. For a LONG 9 months i had to wait to make sure the second part of my dream came true. it did. Enter our first blond sister! Hosanna and i shared a room for 7 years+ (-6months) + 2 years. We are super close. I'm not sure who is more like who. Hosanna clapped on beat at 11 months. Started singing before she could talk, and started playing piano when her fingers couldn't stretch a 5th across the keys. Hosanna has the most beautiful heart. She serves people without question or expectant to be rewarded. She was my little ministry side-kick and shadow for 2 years. There are not many 13 year olds who willingly listen to Podcast sermons; Hosanna is one of them. There are not many girls who have been the youngest girl who take to being a big sister to 2 little sisters... she has done it like a pro. **Secret about Hosanna: she has the greatest giggle ever.**
sister #4 {Sarah Katherine age 10}Just when i thought i wasn't going to have anymore sisters, Sarah's face showed up in an email and my heart melted. I like to tell Sarah that she looks just like me, but she doesn't believe me... i don't know what mirror she looks in everyday, but i see the resemblance perfectly. Sarah is an artist. 5 months after she came home from Africa she won a top prize at the Northwest Washington Fair for a painting she entered! Sarah is a thinker. She likes to ponder new information and has a never ending list of questions. Sarah likes to go swimming and play outside. You would never guess it at first meeting Sarah, but she is a little joker... she picks up on my dad's silly jokes really quickly and instantly her little laugh comes out with a big "nu-uh Dad"! **Secret about Sarah: she keeps things very organized.**
sister #5 {Rachel Rose age 8}the new caboose to our girly side of things! Rachel is quirky and silly. Spunky and wild. Quiet and sensitive. Rachel has the greatest little giggle, however for the first little while when she came home we didn't know if she laughed at all.... it was stuck inside somewhere, but when it came out i think we were all so shocked and blessed we all started laughing! Rachel's laugh is something you have to experience. It's for sure not fake. Being that Rach is the youngest girl she has somehow already figured out how to keep up with all her big brothers and sisters. She runs the mile only a few seconds behind Elijah and also does it with a smile! Last year when i was home for Christmas i played a mean joke on Rachel and threw her (literally) into a huge snow drift... in her pajamas and socks! She was shocked by the cold, recovered quickly, put her snow clothes on and asked me to do it again! Rachel's eyes carry secrets of 6 years i will never understand or be able to see. Rachel's heart carry's the potential to change the world, and i believe she will. **secret about Rachel: she would rather sleep on top of her blankets so to not mess up her perfectly made bed.**
get 5 sisters. you'll never regret it.
dear Jesus, thank you for my sisters. thanks for silly girly times. thanks for hair to braid, dresses to share, secrets to keep and dreams to share. thanks for the love that nothing can take away. thanks for the secret, invisible, incredible bond we all have. Jesus, please bless my sisters with YOUR BEST... when they are tempted to settle for good and pleasing, remind them that your BEST is just outside their view and it's worth it. please keep all creepy guys far away or i might sin in kicking/scaring them FAR away! Bless each of them with a man who fears you before me and my dad. A man who's #1 goal is to honor you with his life. Show each of my sisters the glorious things you want them to do. Set your kingdom before them as a prize to reach for. Most of all give them everything i failed to as a big sister. Give them grace. love. protection. Amen.
great strategy for keeping creepy guys away? get 7 brothers. it scares them right down to the bone.
need to understand football to impress a great guy? get 7 brothers. they know all about football.
need to learn how to put someone in a head-lock should they attack you? get 7 brothers. they are good at teaching such things.
want to understand why guys say some of the things they say? get 7 brothers. sometimes they shed light on such subjects.
want to know if you look good for a date but not "too good"? get 7 brothers. they GLADLY tell you these things!
need a reason to wear a jersey and eat too much popcorn at baseball games? get 7 brothers. tell them it's for THEIR birthday and they won't even know it's your secret desire!
i have 7 brothers. i wouldn't trade one of them for anything in the world. Jesus knew i was going to be a handful, so he gave me 7 brothers to keep me in line!
{brother #1.} Gregg. 25 years old.He's the only one older than me! my first "big" brother. He likes having a beard... and so i call him "beard man". It's funny. When we were little we had secrets. i don't remember them, but i remember not telling them. Gregg always got to do things first. He was the oldest. Oldest to Youngest. The good thing was being #2. But still he got to go to "real" school before any of us! He road a bike with 2 wheels before any of us. He flew on a plane before any of us. He weighed more at birth than any of us. He's my "cool" brother. He has tattoos. I can't imagine him without them. **Secret about Gregg** When Gregg was in 3rd grade he would put gel in his hair and spike it straight up!
{brother #2.} Jeremiah. 22 years old.He's my little big brother. One day i woke up and he was all of a sudden not shorter than me, and so therefore not my "little" 'miah anymore. He's my smart brother. When we were little we would play 'Oregon Trail' on the computer, and he would tell me the best strategy to not loose my cattle or kids to yellow fever. When we both wanted to be Archeologist in Egypt he would read the Encyclopedia about Egypt out loud to me. Although he was younger, i forgot it all the time because he was always looking out for me. When we took German 101, 102 & 103 together at the community college, he made sure i didn't fail the tests and quizzes. One time for Christmas he bought me a framed poem that made me cry. **Secret about Jeremiah** Jeremiah doesn't like to eat Chicken, learned to tolerate it, but doesn't enjoy it.
{brother #3.} Joshua. 19 years old.I am pretty sure we always had a secret bond because we are both September babies! I remember when he was born he didn't look like the rest of us, but we loved him anyway. He's my brother who knows everything about animals. When he was little we thought he would grow up to be a vet or a marine biologist. He could look at those silly birthday cards with wacky animals on them and tell you, not only the name of the animal but where it was from and what it ate. Josh is my first running brother(i used to run a lot). This made me SO happy! He is SO much fun to watch run, he runs like a cheetah... long strides, with so much grace... oh and he smiles when he runs, this is totally weird to me! Josh was also my first brother to get glasses just like me! Josh is really funny. I don't even think he tries...it just happens. I like it. **Secret about Josh** When Josh was little he was allergic to Peanut Butter and Cinnamon. He grew out of it.
{brother #4.} Ben. 16 years old.My Benny-boo-boo. I love him. I was in the room when Benners was born. It was magical. My mom made labor look like a piece of cake!!! When he came out i was in awe. Benjamin was quickly shortened to Ben, Benny, B-E-N-benen or my favorite Benny-boo-boo. He was a cute one... so much fun to watch grow up. Ben was not always quiet... and secretly he is a wild-child... but only when he is in his comfort zone. Ben and Josh are both so funny. Ben is the only other sibling who shares my passion for photography. He has helped me shoot 3 weddings! What a guy! He can capture landscapes i dream of, but never see. Don't tell him, but i am a little jealous of his laptop & ipod touch. Ben is a servant to all. I have NEVER met a 16 year old guy who is more acutely aware of others needs!!! Some girl is going to be SO BLESSED to have him... in 30 years, when i allow him to get married! **Secret about Ben** When Ben was little a dog ate from his falling off diaper.
{brother #5.} J. 13 years old.J. is my surprise brother. He's #5 in birth order, and #11 in coming home to the D family! J. grew up 5 countries from a place that holds my heart. West Africa. When i was in West Africa J. was running around catching flies and keeping cool under the tree in the Village. J. has my dream hair. It never needs to be dyed dark, it just is. J. may be small for his age, but goodness gracious that guy is so strong! Sometimes we arm wrestle. J. and i have secret nicknames for each other. His is "Home Chicken". Mine is "Home Turkey." Ask me the story sometime and you will tilt your head sideways and laugh! J. loves soccer, sometime i want to see him play on a team. J. also loves music. We like to rock out in my car with the windows down. J. has something i don't; rhythm. **Secret about J.** J. can do the coolest finger snapping thing when he shakes your hand.
{brother #6.} Josiah. 9 years old.Oh Joe! Blond brother #2! Josiah had stitches twice before he was 2... he was a going little boy. Josiah loves ART. i am pretty sure he would be happy if art was the only subject in school. When Josiah was 5 or 6 he heard God tell him he would be an artist someday. I don't think he has stopped painting, drawing, coloring or looking at Art books everyday since. Josiah has the greatest laugh ever! One time we were on a road trip and he started CRACKING UP in his car seat; when we asked him what was so funny he replied "i made a joke in my head!" Josiah is a great listener. Even when you think he isn't paying attention, he is. He also is a thinker. He processes information at a 16 year old level. **Secret about Josiah** Josiah just got glasses, and doesn't like them very much.
{brother #7.} Elijah. 7 years old.E monkey. Elijah is our miracle brother. He met Jesus twice. He lived to tell about it. He has scares that tell the story of his Miracle. Elijah loves to play Uno. He especially likes it when he wins. Sometimes if he makes a good play he scruntches up his little face and laughs in his throat. It's really great. E is a runner. This summer he ran the mile in under 8 minutes! i have NEVER done that! He also smiles when he runs. weird. Elijah leaves the best messages on my voice mail. i save everyone. He has the most power to make me melt into a pile of tears (because i miss him) or laugh until i cry because he is so silly. **Secret about Elijah** Elijah climbed up a palm tree at age 4.
dear Jesus, thank you for my brothers. My life is richer because of each one of them. Pour out your blessings on their lives. Protect them from the enemy. Send angles to them when they are lonely and scared because even guys get scared sometimes. Open doors i'd never have dreamed possible for their lives. Keep safe and prepare the special girls who will steal my place in their hearts. Show each of my brothers the glorious things you want them to do. Set your kingdom before them as a prize to reach for. Most of all Jesus, give my 7 brothers all the things they have given me; protection. love. grace. laughter. joy.
i have been shooting at least 2 shoots a weekend for a while now, so there are a lot of new photos posted for your viewing enjoyment. For more information about my work and to book YOUR next photo shoot please email me: kekasmaiimages@gmail.com
People are often amazed and slightly weird-ed out by my memory. I can remember the CRAZIEST things... sometimes meaningful, sometimes random. It's not just the event that i remember it's the details that make up the event that make people turn their head sideways and wonder how in the World i noticed, much less remember what "so-and-so" was wearing at the event or occasion.
I was thinking about how sad it would be to lose all these crazy/amazing/wonderful memories and not be able to tell the stories in full detail... *light bulb*.... write about them on my blog and then they are recorded somewhere! Brilliant idea! So this is me... starting the first of a random series of blog post called 'memories'. They may be meaningful or just a simple memory of a far off time... but please enjoy them and pass them around... especially if they make you laugh!
memories #1. circa 1993(ish)
One of the most brilliant and vivid childhood memories i have is playing "Jesus of Nazareth" in our backyard with my siblings. I have 3 memories of repeated events in that backyard; Football with Dad, 'Jesus of Nazareth' and swimming. Those 3 things seemed to happen all the time. In my mind it's like a movie. A brilliant picture. We grew up in the Puyallup WA area and there is an Amphitheater that every Summer puts on a show, much like the stage version of the JESUS film... except sometimes slightly more dramatic! My brothers Gregg, Jeremiah & i LOVED going to see this amazing event...Mom & Dad graciously took us a few years in a row! After the "God fights the devil" scene that got a little cooky and out of hand they told us we weren't coming again. I only remember being slightly sad about this news.... I'm not sure if we had already started our favorite afternoon activity and or if it just wasn't a big deal.
We loved to dress up. We had a HUGE dress up box/bin. Hats, dresses, scarves, gloves, pants, shoes and our favorite; Mom's old "Brownies" uniforms. We never really new what "Brownies" was, but the uniforms made the BEST "bible cloths" ever!
Carissa, Lindsey and Josh were little which meant that they could play "Jesus of Nazareth" with us, but we got to pick who they were... Mostly they got the parts of the demonized child, the "dead" girl that Jesus said was only sleeping, the angry crowd who shouted "crucify him"and the leapers who he healed on the road. Jeremiah was always 'Jesus'... because when we used dad's scrap wood to build our 'cross' we only had enough to make a "small-ish" cross and Jeremiah fit best on it. Gregg was always a combination of Disciples, Pilot, Roman Solider and John the Baptist. I was any girl character we could come up with... Mary the mother of Jesus, a girl follower of Jesus, Pilot's wife...and a Roman Solider because it took 2 of us to lift the cross up against the fence.
Our backyard was 'huge' to any 8 year old and we had all the right things to pull of the most brilliant production ever. One time we discussed making posters and selling tickets to our neighbors. We had an above-ground pool that was amazing for our Baptism scenes. We built our cross. We had a swing set with a double swing thing, that we used as our boat for the disciples to go fishing in. And we had our "Brownie" uniforms for our costumes!
On this particular day of production the 3 little kids were taking a nap. Gregg, Jeremiah and I were instructed to play outside nicely. Out we went. 'Jesus of Nazareth' seemed like the logical thing to do... but since we were missing half our cast we could only practice a few scenes. The crucifixion scene needed some work. Incidentally Jeremiah wasn't dying a very convincing death. We drug the cross out from the side of the house and lay it down on its back near the fence. Jeremiah assumed the position on the cross. He put his little 6 year old feet on the small platform we had nailed to the lower part of the cross and stretched out his arms to the cross beam so we could tie him down. I'm pretty sure we used strips of fabric and ribbon to tie him there, but i remember wishing we could use "real rope". Gregg got the hammer and pretended to nail in spikes to his hands and feet. Jeremiah winced and grimaced as if in deep pain. I pretended to need to hold Jeremiah on the cross. Once we had successfully tied him down, Gregg and i would each lift a side of the cross beam and drag Jeremiah on the cross over to the hole we had dug next to the fence, so that the cross would stay standing and lean a little bit against the fence. Jeremiah would then say his line "Father why have you forsaken me?" and then he would hang his head and "die"....
well on this particular day for whatever reason, Gregg and i decided to see how long he would stay "dead" and snuck inside the rec-room to watch from behind the closed sliding glass door. Jeremiah was a champ and for sure needs a Daytime Emmy for his performance, because he stayed "dead" on that cross for quite awhile. Time and age has had it's proper affect on my life and i don't really know how long we left him there, but i'm sure it was at least 15 minutes... and for a 6 year old strapped to a cross and propped up against a fence... it must have felt like a year! Meanwhile Gregg and i got distracted in the rec-room and the next thing we know is Mom's voice breaking the silence "Gregg? Cassie? where is Jeremiah?". I am pretty sure she must have heard us in the rec-room and looked out the window....we must have responded with muffled giggles because the next thing we hear from upstairs is "Go outside and get him down off that cross!!!" Out the sliding glass door we flew, just as Jeremiah popped his head up and opened his "dead" eyes to ask "how'd i do?". We got him down and he seemed un-harmed physically or damaged emotionally.
I have been wanting and planning on writing this post for just over 2 weeks now, however photo shoots, editing, long-lost friends and LIFE has once again limited the blog-posting.
I found a treasure! Right here in Central Oregon! It's amazing, inspiring and hidden. I can't stop telling people about it. It's called P.B.&J. Now i know you are thinking P.B. & J. normally is short for something we ate everyday of our childhood, but not so much anymore...
P= People. B= Barn. J= Jesus.
I know it might sound a little "cheesy" but seriously it's a treasure that i am SO glad i happened upon.
God has his way of making sure people click, read, click and read the right things. A little over a month ago i received an email inquiring about my photography business.. Jenay had found my blog via a comment i left on Katie's blog. Now mind you although i read every new post Katie writes i rarely leave a comment. That time i did.
A few weeks and emails later i was on my way out to Powell Butte to take some Senior Photos for Lashae and then also a few family photos. As i drove out there i couldn't help but laugh at the fact that i got the job because of a comment i left on the blog of a girl who lives in Uganda!!! Crazy! The Brewer Family were all rock stars! We had such a great time taking pics enjoying the incredible Sunday afternoon Weather!
After wards i went back to their house and they invited me to stay for P.B. & J.
The treasure had been found.
People from the Powell Butte area started showing up with food, drinks and the some of most welcoming hearts i have EVER met in my life!!! After we all ate dinner and chatted about this and that some of the dad's put together a game of kickball. Some of the mom's watched, some stayed inside and drank coffee, did the dishes and chatted about this and that. After a little while all the "kids" gathered up in the Barn for "Bible study" time. The basis of P.B.&J was explained to me like this;
"We want to mimic the early church in P.B.&J. So we ate some food, we fellowship-ed, and now we are going to study the life and teachings of Jesus."
I sat in that barn, and for the next hour was in awe of this little group of about 20 young people who want to change the World for Christ! They got in the Word, talked about it, thought about it, discussed it and prayed for each others needs! I was totally blown away.
Powell Butte is normally referred to as a Community not a Town. There is a Post Office. A country store. A Church. A Cemetery. and a whole bunch of ranches and farms! It's lovely really. When people in Central Oregon hear about/talk about Powell Butte they most likely have never heard of P.B.&J. and they most likely do not talk about the young people who are believing for HUGE World change starting in their community.
20 people focused on Jesus. Loving their community. Praying with/for each other. In a place where if you blink you miss it? Yes Please. This is a treasure for sure.
i am more blessed than a leprechaun at the end of a rainbow to have found it.
"Sometimes i would like to ask God why he allows so much poverty, famine and injustice in the World when he could do something about it... but i am afraid he might ask me the same question." -Anonymous
shoulders brush against people walking by. the park is packed. i wonder what they see from where they cannot hear my heart.
blank stares. smiling. singing.
"thank you." window seat. pondering the long ride ahead. full flight of people going places.
rush of excitement as the plane starts for take-off. soon the cars look like mini-match box cars. people smaller than Lego men.
sigh. listening to the emergency exit routine with one ear. the swimming pools look like bright turquoise spots of paint. the houses seem closer together from up here.
comfortable. looking. watching.
the houses turn to fields. a patchwork quilt of greens and yellows stretch out below. mountains invade the quilt with the night. dark blue peaks with speckles of snow.
sleep sounds nice, but excitement for what's ahead take over the thoughts. clouds appear as silk flowing by. it seems as though i could reach out and touch the stars.
humming. crying. snoring.
chaos seems far from here. i know the collision of reality and this view is only so far away. the stares and snickers can only be silenced for so long. the rumors and assumptions can only be silenced in my head.
chin lifting. Spirit rising. going higher.
my thought can only be consumed by choice. sugar. candy. cake. love love. hearts. invitations. fun. fun. color. laughing. tickling. tickling. papa. screaming. laughing. laughing. child. color. money. sugar.
you hold me now. peace floods in. no darkness. just light.
hope. is. rising.
no matter 'their' thoughts. no matter 'their' looks. no matter 'their' assumptions.
my decision to 'fly' is not based on that. lizards who scamper away at my silly stories are not phased by 'their' impression of the situation. only i can choose to let the smile fade and hope sink.
turbulence disturbs the moment. but only for a moment.
peace settles in. city lights twinkle. seat belts on. the ride is nearly over. the journey has just begun.
hope. is. rising. with every thought my spirits sore. with every smile my heart dances. with every sip of clean water my nervousness fades.
chaos is still around. chin lifting. spirit rising. going higher.
April 24th, 965BC 3:26pm; David built an altar there to the Lord and sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings. And the Lord answered his prayer for the land, and the plague on Israel was stopped.(2 Sam. 24:25)And then King David sat down for a late lunch. It was a good day for the King of Judah. He had taken a walk in the sunrise and laughed with his son Solomon as he told him about the old times in Bethlehem. After lunch he plans to play the harp for a while before a feast with his daughters later in the evening.
December 25, 1995; Jennifer Aniston was listed "People Weekly"s "Most Intriguing People".... After which she celebrated with the cast of 'Friends' and drank a glass of champagne at midnight. It had been a wonderful Christmas surprise and something she would remember forever.
February 27. 2007; Britney Spears has entered rehab, the singer's manager Larry Rudolph, confirms to PEOPLE. Upon entering rehab Britney sat by herself and wondered how her life had turned into such a mess. She determined in her heart to make it right, at least for the sake of her kids. She made up her mind that she would rise again and be the "Princess of Pop" music once again.... although she wasn't certain she could ever overcome all the black spots on her now tainted reputation.
September 16, 2009 3:26pm; Cassie Diacogiannis sat down to write a blog about assumptions.
**Please note that the above statements in ITALICS are my own thoughts and assumptions on each story. Statements in BOLD are facts.**
It's really easy to look at King David and say, "yeah, He's the man after God's own heart." or "He messed up big time, but must have done something right because look at what God did through him." However without seeing the day to day of his life we can't really know what it was that made him that man, we get glimpses of the hard times, difficulties and pain of his life. We get only glimpses of the Joy, Fun and good times i'm sure he had.
Jennifer Aniston has graced the cover of PEOPLE magazine and US weekly more times than most celebrities. She is one of the wealthiest people alive and one of the highest paid actresses EVER! US weekly and PEOPLE cannot possibly be there every moment of Jen's life. Yet many times i have based my view of her based solely on what i saw on the cover of the Tabloids at Safeway's check stand. "poor Jen. Brad's a jerk. " or "look at Jen's great new hair." or "really? Jen's dating John Meyer.... again?" or even, "man, life as Jennifer Aniston must be pretty great." No matter how hard TMZ tries to be in her backyard or trunk of her car, they don't have Jens' life nailed down or penned out perfectly. No matter how many time VOGE interview's her and i read it, i will never know her life. I will never understand what makes Jen "Jen".
Britney Spears. "Oops she did it again" became so much more than a lyric from her song. It became the tagline after her name when her life started spiraling out of control in front of our eyes on E!'s THS special. But now. 2009, look at her, she has a tour, a rocking body, a new hit, and 2 precious boys that love her. She has arrived. The attitude seems to be "who cares what happened in the last 2 years she figured it out and NOW, now she's ok." I'd like to pose the thought that deep down inside Britney is still a 16 year old girl wondering how her life got to out of control.
Me! I 'just' live, eat and breath in Bend Oregon. Every once in a while i will write a blog that makes sense, sometime i let my emotions get the best of me and that spills out too. I roll out of bed everyday at the same time (6:29am) i head off to the same "normal" job, and come home to the same editing program. Wednesday nights are spent at 180. My life is pretty "normal". If you look at my life through the lens of this blog, you would most likely see a girl with a camera, who sometimes writes deep things, and she seems to wear herself on her sleeve. She doesn't seem to be afraid to tell us if she laughed or cried or what she didn't eat for breakfast. If you look at my day to day life it might not seem all that exciting.
I don't wake up to a fancy steam room and hair dresser to get me ready for the day. I don't drive the coolest car. I don't live on the top of a hill with a view. I also don't feed 300 starving kids a week in one of the poorest parts of the World. I don't wear Chacos and hope to avoid a snake bite. I don't catch a Rickshaw to go to the market. I don't preach to thousands of souls caught in bondage.
Just because i serve in 180 does not denote more blessing on my life. Just because i've never been drunk or driven drunk does not guarantee me God's protection in my car. I believe un-saved people are saved by the hand of God without being "in a place" to receive that blessing. I believe un-saved people have experienced the presence of Jesus while "walking in sin".
My life is blessed not because i am a Pastor's kid or because i live a "normal" life. My life is not blessed because i have found a way to position myself for an out pouring of riches. My life is blessed because i choose to surrender what i have to the will of God. I choose to walk in obedience to his Word, and strive to please him. I can't quantify God's blessing; i can't create an equation that states how to come into that blessing. I can't position my self on the right church bench to receive that blessing. I can walk in obedience to the Holy Spirit. I can trust who God says he is and believe that in trusting and walking in faith i will experience his blessing.
I don't look at my life and wish things were different. Recently i wrote a post about things i want. It seems that only 2 things stood out to people who read it; the fact that i am not married. and the fact that i am not on the mission field. This was a sad realization that my life is seen as missing something. YES, these are 2 great desires of my heart, but please do not think that one desire hinges on the other!! Please do not think that my life is not FULL, wonderful, AMAZING, BLESSED, fantastic because i am 24 and those things are not in place.
I will GO when God releases me to GO.
I will get married when the timing is unlocked and the timing of God collides with the time line we live in.
In the meantime, i will continue to post pictures, stories, verses and silliness for you to enjoy or ponder. I will continue to wake up too early and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the job i have. I will continue to see this generation RISE UP in 180 and central Oregon. I will continue to fight my battle with worry and anxiousness about my life. I will continue to EXPERIENCE Jesus ALIVE in my life. I will continue to walk BLESSED and COVERED in God's love.
I refuse to think "lucy" doesn't like me because she hasn't txted me this week. Perhaps she is on a mountain or dropped her phone in coffee. I don't base my assumption of Taylor's love for Jesse on how she made dinner for him the other day. I trust that she knows him and therefore loves him... even though i don't see the ins and outs of that love. It's wrong of me to assume someone's life is marked by what is on their blog alone. I can't judge someone's character based on their Facebook status. I refuse to assume that King David, Jen & Britney's life can be summed up in the words we read about them. I choose to believe in the day to day, moments unseen by camera or scribe there is/was the life of someone who has a real heart, real needs and real thoughts.
The best way to judge someone's life is to live with them, listen to their life story (in full) or ask those who know or see those to things. Let's not base assumptions of people's life based on snip -ts we get here and there. Let's not look at a life marked by "hardship" as less of a blessing or less blessed than a life "marked" by joy. Every life has trails and joys, it's how you let them define you in that season that will shape you for the rest of your life.
I don't like that question. It's a lot easier to answer "what do you need?" than "what do you want?" I used to want a horse. I used to want a Jetta. I used to want I "normal" life. I used to want to be an actress. I sometimes to want a tattoo. I sometimes want to sleep longer. I sometimes want short hair.
Luke 18:40-42 "When Jesus heard him, he stopped and ordered that the man be brought to him. As the man came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” “Lord,” he said, “I want to see!” And Jesus said, “All right, receive your sight! Your faith has healed you.”"
I would like to suggest that the man had been blind for a while, and got along alright for a blind guy. He didn't "need" to see. He wanted to see.
What do you want?
A good friend challenged me the other day to write out a list of the 10 things i want out of life. After making the list the friend told me to prioritize the list, order it by importance and write out a "goal" of when i wanted to accomplish the things that were able to put on a tangible time line.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
This is what i want (in no particular order):
- I want to stop worrying about my life. I don't want to worry about what i should wear, who i should txt first, when my bank account will be full enough to empty on my dream camera. I don't want to worry about what i will eat or who i will talk to. I am done with worry.
- I want to be faithful with what i am given. I don't want to waste my time, treasures or talent. I don't want to spend wastefully. I want to be faithful, always faithful. no matter what, faithful.
- I want to preach the Word. I want to preach God's heart for his kids. I want to preach the gospel to the lost. I want to preach to 1 or 1, 000. I want my words to be a sound of hope. I want my words to be His Word. I want to preach.
- I want to hold on to the hope He has given me and called me to. I want to see my life from his perspective and base my hope on that. I don't want to be discouraged by my situations i want to HOLD ON TO HOPE in JESUS.
- I want to go to "my" 18 countries. Yes, there are 18 countries i hope to visit before i die. included, but not limited to: India, China, Thailand, Iraq, Uganda, Botswana, Argentina...
- I want to get married. Yup, i just put that out there. I'm the girl who's favorite thing to do when she was little was to play "house" and be the mom/wife. I'm the girl who started thinking about her wedding when she was 11. I'm the girl who believed in Prince Charming. And i'm still that girl. I still want to be swept off my feet by a God-fearing, Horse riding, Music playing, Bad-guy fighting, girl saving, Honest, Passionate Prince charming.
- I want to adopt an orphan... or 3. I want to love the forgotten. I want to pray for a destiny that seems bleak. I want to rescue the homeless and helpless children in the World.
- I want to live overseas. I want to be a missionary. I want to eat goat brains, fish eyeballs and frog's feet. I want to smell the smells. I want to see the sights. I want to live in Chacos and messy hair. I want to see lives changed. I want to embrace different cultures. I want to come back with stories that will blow your mind.
- I want to have to be a mom. I want to get the belly, feel the pain and cry the tears. Remember; i played house and and 50 baby dolls with names and voices. Sometimes people think because i am the oldest girl in a big family perhaps i am "over" it. Not so much people. I want to be a mom.
- I want to see this generation rise up. I want to see the students in 180 leading my kids. I want to see them change their schools. I want to see them love the un-lovable. I want to see them worship face down. I want to hear them pray. I want to see the JoY of their answered prayer. I want to see them KNOW GOD and take Him at His word. I want them to carry the banner of Christ well. I want them to be passionate, on fire people of purpose.
I want honesty. I want to be authentic. I want to live real life with people. I want to stop faking it. I want more to a conversation than inside jokes and sarcasm. I want good times. I want music that doesn't hurt my head. I want red boots. I want black flats. I want a new camera. I want to pay off my car. I want to dance the salsa. I want to go to a Superbowl game. I want to eat tacos in Mexico. I want to drive with the windows down while it rains inside. I want to have a gym membership. I want to get in a tickle fight with my dad. I want to race my little siblings across the yard. I want to cry at the sad parts and laugh at the silly ones. I want to take jumping pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower. I want to capture the Joy of Love, the Pain of War and the big-ness of the World through a lens.
I want faith that rises above the surface of my situation and see's past the un-answered questions.
i have been wanting to write this post for about 2 weeks. it's my 200th post. not too extravagant, but monumental just the same. the problem has been i have not felt inspired. i don't want to write sweet nothings about my toes and how i got bit by a spider.
so i've waited, and thought, and tried to force inspiration, and thought some more, and waited some more, until today i couldn't stand it any longer. the writing must happen weather i feel inspired or not. so here i sit. sunday, august 30th 2009.... figuring out how to write without inspiration.
please trust Jesus is in me. please. recently due to a lot of ups and downs and craziness that life is, i feel like i have to ask this a lot. please trust that i pray and wait on the Lord and that i don't make crazy decisions based on emotions.
let's love our neighbors. this weekend at church the message was about loving our neighbors. how can we ask God to send us to Africa, India or Thailand if we can't even love our brothers and sisters in Christ in the USA? i need to figure this one out, because honestly, some people drive me crazy and make me want to run away to a far of land... they are probably my neighbor who i should love better.
11 million children starve to death or die each year from preventable or treatable illness. 8.5 million children work as child slaves, prostitutes or in horrific conditions. i have a dream to rescue kiddos in India and Africa from such lives. someday i will.
"What's your name?" "Giselle." "Oh, Giselle!!! We shall be married in the morning!" this is a silly quote from a silly movie, but this week it made me laugh and believe in fairy tales... You know, the stories where the guy on the white horse sweeps in at the perfect moment and rescues the pretty girl from the dragon, witch or lonely sleeping. Yeah, i believe in that stuff. Perhaps not the dragon or witch part... but i don't believe i have to be the girl who dresses scandalous and throws herself out there to get the guy... because never has there been a fairytale in which the pretty girl comes to the rescue of the prince and sweeps him off his feet with her good looks and forward ways. that would be just down right crazy! So i choose to believe in the fairytale where i wait, dream and get ready because at the right moment the hot guy i believe for, will show up in Bend Oregon. perhaps not on a white horse, but it will be rad, and i will make sure to blog about it.
i take pictures. and then i spend hours and hours editing pictures. it's a joy, really it is. my secret prayer this summer has been something like this, "dear Jesus, thank you for the creative eye you gave me, but technology is moving forward faster than my eyes, so would you please let someone decide they want to invest 10,000 dollars into my small business with no guaranteed return other than free portraits for life. amen." yup, you read it right. i pray for a large sum of money to be able to do something i love better. selfish? perhaps. practical? maybe. honest? you betcha. I LOVE LOVE LOVE taking pics and editing them, but the fact that there is a better way to do it is annoying, especially when it take a lot of money to do it that way. so in the mean time, while i wait for that wonderful investor, i plug away with my "old school" camera and editing system to the sounds of Micheal Buble and LOVE every minute of it!
camp was off the hook. pictures to come, i promise. Twin Rocks. Beach. Cabins. Games. Wonderful people. Worship. The Word. Jesus. Amazing. There are few words to describe accurately what God did in the 100 people from central oregon that week at the beach. i do know that i have never seen 87 young people more hungry for the presence of God like i did that week. i also have never seen 87 young people take over a worship set like they did the first night of camp. i had never been in a service for over 4 hours and seen so many people ready to worship for another 2 hours. it was amazing.
i don't have much more to say, so i'll steal some words from a new favorite song to end this randomly inspired post:
Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it I don’t need to see it to believe it Cause I can’t shake this fire burning Deep inside my heart
This life is Yours and hope is rising As Your glory floods our hearts Let love tear down these walls That all creation would Come back to You It’s all for You
Your Name is glorious Glorious Your love is changing us Calling us To worship in spirit and in truth As all creation returns to You
"But at the end of the day, let's stand in awe of the awesome God we love and serve. Let's let Him get the glory and honor. Let's say when the sun sets and the stars shine, when it snows and when sweat pores down, when it's dark and quiet and when the laughter goes late and the good times roll, let's say "Thank you. Life. is. Beautiful."
it's been a long hard road it's been a long time coming skilled through your building, through the molding, through the stretching and the pulling
and all i want is you all i want is you all i want is you all i want is you Lord
spend so much time chasing your grace it's so useless your grace is on me
wanna be used by wanna be used wanna be used wanna be used by you
all i want is you all i want is you
so thank you thank you thank you Lord we praise you You are good
thank you thank you thank you you are good
nothing is impossible with God singing nothing is impossible with God
this song was written by a good friend of mine. it has been on repeat in my head for a little over a week now. i don't have a lot to say about it; it is my heart's cry right now. every line is weaved in and out of my life in someway.
the last few months, you may have noticed more pictures than words on this silly blog... i've had SO many thoughts going on in my head i didn't know where to start often. Pictures are my other way of speaking, yet i know they do not always convey the emotion that i am feeling. They have become a cop-out for me. Too much to write about. Too many worries about what you (the reader) would think if i were honest. Too many fears about the comments that might come if i told you about bursting into tears in public places. I've been trying so hard to be brave.
it wasn't until a recent conversation with my dad, that i realized i'm allowed to be "emotional". I am actually allowed to feel the feelings i am feeling. I don't have to Spiritualize everything. I do have to trust God, but trusting doesn't mean don't feel. Right now it means feel everything in a very real (not over the top) way and trust in the midst of the feelings. Trust in the middle of the challenge. Trust when i don't see any answers. Trust when hope is cut out and disappointment surfaces. Believe God is who he says He is. Comforter. How can i know God as Comforter, if i squash my feelings and "don't need" to be comforted? How can i know the Prince of Peace if i don't admit to myself and the world that my life feels like chaos sometimes? How can i see him as BIG and OUTSIDE the box, if i keep trying to keep Him in the box with my squashed emotions and feelings?
this is my challenge to myself; desire to know God more than i want to know the answers to my questions. Trust God in the middle of the emotions. write more. fear less.
this is my challenge to you; read with grace. there is more to the stories you read on the pages of this blog than you could know or imagine.
i have a friend. her name is taylor. she's real great. so great in fact that she "ditched" her husband for a few days and went to Washington with me! thanks t. you're the best.
we went to a track meet and watched my little siblings be amazing... we went for walks.... i introduced tay to the glory that is doing devos at Woods Coffee.... we went to a Canadian beach, and by beach i mean the tide was out... it was real great. it was real neat. i really love road trips. i really love my family. i really love that taylor came and experienced both with me!
...and by billy i mean Lake Billy Chinook! this is me: this is Ashley:this is Jessie:this is Casey: this is Eric (aka Master of the wake.) this is crazy 1, 2 &3: and that was our awesome (hot) day on water.
Yes this is for real, no photoshop or angle trickery involved.... Today i walked in the Annual 4th of July Pet Parade in downtown Bend... i carried my turtle in a basket... this young man however found a way to make his dog fly. People in Bend love this crazy-animal infested parade. It was quite interesting (and slightly odd) to see such sights as a flying dog, a star-painted dog, cats in wagons or on leashes, dogs with hats (or coats or costumes) and horses all decked out in Red, White and Blue. But i can now say, that i indeed have seen a dog fly!
Seven's Summer Oh.Nine. Tip #1: Wear sunglasses. Not only do they protect your eyes from harmful UV rays, but if you have a cool nanny who let's you wear her VZ's you might be making a fashion statement...however be advised that when the sunglasses are too big they may tend to fall off, in which case make sure you have a cool nanny who will hold them on for you to ensure protected eyes and a fashion statement.
(please continue to check back for more of Summer Oh.Nine from Seven's point of view!)
when you have a dad as great as mine it's hard to find the right words on Father's Day to express what you want to say. a tie would not do it justice. neither would a gift certificate to play golf. not even a card with sports objects and super creative wording would work. Perhaps a surprise trip to a Nascar Race, but that's been done. A mug that says #1 Dad would only look like every other kid's gift. One time i drew a picture for my dad and cut out pieces of fabric for the clothes. One time i gave him a cool t-shirt. Candles are great for mom's but not so much for a dad, especially when he has allergies. Perhaps i could get him an autographed picture of his hero... too bad he's dead. Although my dad loves to read, i'm not sure a book would be special enough. if i was rich i would buy him a new car or something fancy. if i was 6 i would paint him the best picture ever. if i was famous and had connections i would get him great seats to a great show. if i could write a poem i would make sure it could make him tear up. if i didn't have to work i would drive up to see him. if he lived in Bend i would take him to my new favorite spot. because i am poor, and live too far away, because his tie collection is larger than my shoe collection, because he has more mugs than we can count, because his t-shirt drawer is too full, because he has allergies and candles are for girls, because his hero is dead, because i'm not rish or famous, because he's already been surprised with a trip to a Nascar Race, because he doesn't even play golf, because i am not a poet, because i have to work and it's an 8.5 hour drive, the best thing i can give my dad on father's day is my Facebook status: "my dad is better than your dad. your dad doesn't have 13 kids. booyah!" i love you papa.
i know a few things for sure: #1. God is Good. #2. His plans for me are good. #3. Nothing can stop the plans of God. #4. No matter what, i will not fail if i am on His team. #5. Above all seek wisdom. #6. Patience is hard to come by but the reward of it is beyond words.
sometimes a certain phrase or word will come into my mind and make a home for a few days... or sometimes weeks. 2 such certain things have built a home and are now on the verge of taking over my every thought. in times such as these a blog post about them is inevitable.
"i am a fighter."
"perseverance."
i do realize that upon first reading the above one may think they are connected and in many ways they are, but in my life right now one is producing the other in very different ways. Immediately upon writing that i realized it actually could go either way, so i better explain how it is true in my life and then see where this train of thought takes me.
i fight. the closest i've come to a fist fight is the time i slammed my bedroom door on my older brother's arm so hard he cried; i know it is one of the only time i have been the cause of tears from my older brother. sorry Gregg. Other than that insane moment of strength and passion in the fifth grade, i don't ever remember getting into a physical altercation... unless of course you count the tickle fights that end with one of the members of the party yelling at the top of their laughing lungs "i'm going to pee!". And yet i fight. i could jump into a super spiritual rant about fighting on my knees in prayer. i could talk about waging a spiritual war. i could even paint some awesome picture that would make you want to watch the battle scene's in Lord of the Rings or Narnia. However the holes in my jeans from prayer, the un-imaginable affect of a spiritual war and the thrill of victory after a battle scene would not exactly get my point across.
i fight.
on saturday of this last weekend i went on a hike. i consider myself an out-doorsy type, and i also am no new comer to the world of Saturday hikes. For some reason May 30th 2009 was different. I can't exactly put my finger on it, even now... and leaving the house on Saturday i had NO idea the challenge that awaited me across the river. Now mind you i was going on this hike with some dear friends.... and the 8yr. old and 11 yr. old expressed how they had just done this hike the weekend before. i grabbed my camera and bottle of water and was ready to hit the trail. I knew going into it that it was almost 8 miles round trip, and i new that the view from the top was something words could not describe, however what i did not account for was the sweat and pain that would ensue on the climb to the top of Dog Mountain.
perseverance.
i remember gasping for breath and thinking, "if Philip (8 years old) can do this, i can do this!". i stood in the middle of the dusty trail. we hadn't even gone a 1.5 miles yet and i was panting for air. Sweat was pouring down the side of my face and pooling in my collar bone area. Now either i was more out of shape than i thought i was or this was a lot harder than i anticipated. Looking back it was more the second one than the first. Onward and upward we went. Not a lot of talking on the way up.... we all were focusing on breathing and going. pressing past the pain in our knees and the desire for more water than we had. and there it was: perseverance. perseverance. perseverance. perseverance. perseverance. perseverance. perseverance. perseverance.
the night before i had a conversation with a good friend and we were going back and forth about taking risks and trusting verses waiting and fear. I didn't realize until that conversation that i can talk up perseverance all i want. i can shout TAKE A RISK! from the rooftops, but when in the situation that requires me to do either i had a HUGE fear of failing or getting hurt.
relationships are hard. they involve taking risks, no matter how much of a risk taker you think you are, just wait until you are pushed beyond what you knew was there. Trust is not as flowery and precious as it sounds. It's stinking HARD. As Christians we put a filter on our mind set and try to make trust an easy thing.... i have discovered in the last month or so, that it's because we can trust Jesus with anything and everything and he will NEVER EVER let us down. And so trust must be easy. wrong. Trusting a person is not a requirement of the Christian faith. It's not something anyone is required to do for another person... it's a choice we make to allow someone to come close to our lives and possibly have a lasting affect on us. I don't want to get into the theology of trust, i just want to say trusting people can be hard to do, especially when you(or i) have been hurt by people. I am also not here to say "throw yourself out to anyone".
now moving on a little bit. Waiting and fear. Waiting is BEAUTIFUL and wonderful and should at all time be practiced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER, when it comes to taking a risk that you know God is asking you to take, waiting (and hesitating) can be a very dangerous thing. almost 2 years ago i fell nearly 30 feet off a cliff. On the way down i hit a rocky ledge and landed head first into water. the reason i fell was because i waited and hesitated. Always jump on the count of 3 and nothing more. It's funny because this situation has become a corner stone for illustrations about jumping and going and taking risks but until this weekend i didn't realize that in a couple areas of my life i am afraid to take risk and i am afraid to trust people.
and so i fight.
now based on the last couple paragraphs you may be thinking a lot of things about me and my life. (feel free to leave a comment) Regardless of what you are or are not thinking i consider myself a fighter. when i hear the call of God, when i get a vision for something beyond what i can see with my natural eyes, i will fight until i see it come to pass or until i am the last one standing and i have to give it back to the one who gave it. When i see the call of God on a couple's life and they decide that marriage is too hard or they give into sin and it tears something apart my heart beats faster, and i want to scream "fight for it." When i know the call of God one someone's life to change the nations and i see them not pursuing the call, or someone who has a call of God they don't quite get yet but they are running in circles trying to figure out how to make themselves look good, i want to stand up and scream "fight for it." Somewhere we have lost the urge to fight for what God has called us to. Somewhere along the way we got stuck at the top of the cliff waiting for the water to rise and the sun to set. Somewhere we stopped trusting the people God lined up in our lives to help us go after our dreams because we were afraid of getting hurt (again).
and so i say; "fight for it."
i fight. i fight to be brave. i fight to trust. i fight to fulfill. i fight to move forward. i fight for a change i cannot see but believe with all my heart Jesus can bring. i fight to jump. i fight to wait. i fight the urge to give up. i fight.
back to the Mountain. With each step that brought us closer to the top, the sun rose above our heads and peaked through the trees, sometimes seemingly hotter than the moment before. With each drink of water that refreshed our insides and kept us going, the sweat poured down. Dirt sticks to sweat. Sometimes i would look up the trail for a horizon and all i would see was more trail, it seemed only to raise in front of me and never level out. I would pick out a tree or stump as my next "goal" or "stopping point". Once i made it there i would look up and pick another one. i stopped a few times to take pictures of flowers and views, but mostly i kept one word in my head: perseverance. i knew there was more in me that i had not given. i knew there was more strength deep inside.
when i heard the words "this is it." i thought my heart would burst. i turned to the right and in a second it was all behind me, all the sweat, pain, thirst, sweat and wanting to quit. the view was breath taking. nearly 4 miles, and it was the most amazing sights i have ever seen. i had never seen wild flowers like they grew in that place. i have never seen a river look so brilliant with the sun shining like it was. the statement perseverance pays off never made sense until that moment, because for me i don't remember the last time i was physically challenged like that with a reward so sweet! There are things i am hoping for, look forward to and expecting and what it has cost me thus far will have been worth it if the view from the top is anything like it was that day.
and so perseverance makes me stronger.
and i fight.
and i know that when all is said and done it will have been worth it.
Psalm 97: 1-6 "The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice. Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth.The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory."
i don't have a lot of thoughts other than WOW! What are your thoughts? leave a comment and let me know what you think about this wonderful piece of yum!
**oh and read it again with an Australian accent, just for fun.**
Recently the most common thing in my life come in sizes 2T and smaller... These are just some shots from my phone that i have been collecting.
My littlest roommante Brie is just as precious as the day she was born...
this is Claire...we hangout a lot. We go to the Boat Park... and we build block towers that are as tall as me... which i know is not that tall, but compared to a little 2.5 year old... it's a pretty big deal: **sorry if the quality is not up to par, these were all taken on my phone and do not accurately reflect my photography skills.***
“My friend, will you go? Has God spoken to you? Have you heard His Call? Will you not answer, “Lord, here am I, send me”? And if you cannot go, will you not send a substitute? It is for you to decide. Why should anyone hear the Gospel twice before everyone has heard it once?” - Oswald J. Smith
I will Rise- by Chris Tomlin There’s a peace I’ve come to know Though my heart and flesh may fail There’s an anchor for my soul I can say, “it is well”
Jesus has overcome And the grave is overwhelmed The victory is won He is risen from the dead
I will rise when He calls my name No more sorrow, no more pain I will rise on eagles wings Before my God, fall on my knees And rise I will rise
There’s a day that’s drawing near When this darkness breaks to light And the shadows disappear And my faith shall be my eyes
And I hear the voice of many angels sing, “worthy is the Lamb” And I hear the cry of every longing heart, “worthy is the Lamb”
3 people i "know" right now are living on the edge of eternity. One is getting better daily. One is resting in Jesus' hands with an uncertain week ahead. One is a continent away hoping for a ticket to the hospital that has the things needed to save her life.
The first is "S". I've only met him once, but really like him a lot. His daughter is a very close friend of mine. On Easter the doctors told his family he would not make it through the night. 3 weeks later he is improving daily. On the second day of his drug-induced coma a friend of mine said, "wow, S could be chatting with Jesus right now... or soon." Now of course we all were praying that he would live and be healed and everything would be alright, but the thought of being that close to heaven made me think a little bit.
The second person i have also only met once. "K" moved away from Bend shortly after i moved to Bend. This week he took a turn for the worst with a brain tumor. The doctors are not sure he will make it through the week. Many of the people i know are praying and believing for another miracle. K has been given ____ amount of time for the last 2 years and has out lived it every time. When i read an update about him today i again thought about being a breath away from meeting Jesus.
The third is someone i have never met. She is a small girl living in an orphanage in Ghana. My mom is on a plane on her way to try and help get her to Children's Hospital in Seattle for the treatment she needs. "C"'s little heart is failing. I can't remember how old she is but i know it's under 10 years old. We are praying that the paper work for adoption is filed quickly and she can come home to America and receive the treatment she needs. This week she has come close to meeting Jesus twice.
What a thought... meeting the One who gives me breathe everyday, the One who sings over me, the One who died so i could live, and the One who loves me. Wow. I don't even know what that moment could look like, but i know it will be beautiful. Because of some of the recent events with the people mentioned above i have had eternity on my heart more so than normal... and i like it. I dream about heaven and think about meeting Jesus. I sometimes see myself running into His arms, but quickly realize that in His presence i crumble to the floor, and so i re-design the moment in my head and in that moment i am there, on the floor at his feet.
Until recently the thought of eternity has been so overwhelming i would rather not think about it. Not because it's unknown, but because it's so big and forever my mind doesn't understand it. I understand (kind of) this life here. I see little babies all around and life in it's newness is more precious than most things. I hear of death, and my heart is sad... but only for a moment, because if that person has found salvation in Jesus i know that for them it's just the begining of Life. Eternity could come sooner than we think... it has for lots of people in our lives, we all live on the edge of eternity, what matters is how we live.
Because i am not sitting in ICU with tubes going in and out i don't understand life at Eternity's edge in that sense. I don't have a tumor putting pain and pressure on my brain. As far as i know my heart is normal and in working order. So in a way Eternity feels far away... but each breathe i take brings me closer to that day, when Jesus calls my name and i will rise and wake up to a Life i never new was there.
Please pray for S, K, and C. Those who are closer to them would miss them a little more than me and you, but i know that each of them has a call of God for Kingdom purposes, the question we all have is will that call continue here on this Earth or in Eternity?
that's right folks; it's that time of year in which i post a crazy pic of me celebrating life in Bend Oregon!!! 2 years ago on April 21 2007 i finished packing up life in Lynden WA and moved south to Bend Oregon! i can hardly believe it has been 2 years... last year i said Woo-Hoo... and this year i echo it with Hooray!
A little while back i wrote a post about my new living situation and how much i LOVE living with a little family!!! This weekend our little family grew! Brie Ann Summers joined the household! here are some pics from this weekend;
This is big sister Sienna... Sienna loves her mommy and little sister...
3:42am. the silence of my dreams was broken by these four precious words "i havea go ponny(potty)". silence again for a couple seconds and then the pitter-patter of 2-year-old feet on wood floor break the silence again. "mommy?".... "cassie, i havea go ponny." i sit up an throw off the blankets, i stumble out of bed and see precious Ella standing at the foot of the bed. I pick her up and take her in to the bathroom and help her go 'ponny'. After jammies are zipped back up and hands are washed i carry Ella back to her bed, kiss her forehead and walk back into bed. As i snuggle back into savor the last 3 hours of sleep, right before silence again fills my head this thought blazes across my mind... "THIS is what i was made for."
This weekend flew by in a flurry of pastel dresses, dark chocolate, beautiful songs, large choirs, messages of Hope and 29 hours of held breath. Yesterday morning between Easter services for Westside Church cell phones in Bend started vibrating with shocking and scary news, a dear friend and brother in the Lord was being rushed to the Hospital in Portland with a Brain Aneurysm. Within a couple hours Suburban loads of friends were making the trek across the mountain to be with loved ones. Being that i wasn't especially close to this friend, but close to his family, my place was to stay and pray... and pick up my favorite 'hat' to wear; the fill-in mommy hat!!! 4 kiddos for the night and then adding Seven in the am... no problem i thought!!!!
The rest of Easter went on without a hitch, underneath the looming feeling that all the adults were holding our breath the kiddos went on with the hunting of Easter Eggs and dividing the goods found in each one. We ate ham, pie, deviled-eggs and too much candy. And after the guest had left i settled into my most favorite role. We played games and colored pictures and then one by one the kiddos were sound asleep and i snuggled in with prayers for Steve on my heart and a big day ahead of me. I the last 3 hours of sleep after the potty break and woke up to the Central Oregon Sun rising in the window. As I showered and got ready for my day I carefully planned out who needed to be where when and how "my" little Seven fit into the day.
11:47am News from Portland was a little more hopeful than the night before, surgery was on the schedule, we held our breath and prayers for skilled hands went up. I was driving from 'here' to 'there' with Ella (2) and Seven (almost 1) buckled in car-seats on the back seat. "Twintle Twintle little staw, how i wonder what you are..." I glanced back through the re-view mirror and again, the thought blazed through my mind "THIS is what i was made for." Seven was blabbering on in "baby" language as Ella sang him Twinkle Twinkle over and over again. The smile on my face wouldn't go away.
4:21pm Surgery went well! Steve was coming out of the coma(drug induced) and responding to voices and commands! Within half an hour the house was full of the noises of 5 sweet kiddos wanting dinner and attention from this fill-in mommy. As i held one, gave advise to another, separated 2 from pulling each others hair out, and ate a little of the other's snack there it was again..."THIS is what i was made for."
6:15pm Seven went home with his mama, Dinner was done, homework for the freshman was hanging in the air and 3 balls of energy and i bundled up for a little game of baseball while the sun went down. I pitched. They hit. Stanley(the dog) ran and caught the ball and brought it back to the pitchers mound. Once our fingers were sufficiently cold and our cheeks were the color of the cherry Popsicles we headed inside for jammies and back rubs before bed. Little Ella was falling asleep standing up, in we went and got tucked in and prayers said. Shelbi (the freshman) was not feeling too hot so i got her Nyquil and said prayers for her before she fell asleep on her History books. Brodie(7th grade) asked my advise on the running shoes he was checking out on Eastbay.com and Parker(7 years old) was just happy if someone answered any of the 1,000 questions he had.
8:15pm Dishes done, living room cleaned and now it was Parker's turn for a back rub and chat on the couch about Rocketships and going to outer space to look at the Earth. Brodie went up to the xbox to veg. for a little while. There it was again "THIS is what i was made for."
I have these moments often enough to know that God is reminding me of sweet dreams He put in my heart when it started beating. I have these moments in 180 all the time. It happens when i pray with my small group gals. It happens when one of those girls tells me about the awesome things God did that week. It happens when i think about being back in Africa someday. It happens when play with my little roommate Sienna all the time. It happens with Seven more often than not. It happens when i see prayers answered in front of my face. Steve is breathing on his own and talking to his wife and daughter as i write this.
Soon, Daddy and Mama of these sweet ones will be home and i will be on my way to my own bed. I will hang up my fill-in mommy hat and say hello to "normal" life at 6:25am, but i will never live a "normal" life as long as i am living to see what Jesus has made me for and as long as i keep having these moments that blow my mind and make me think "THIS is what i was made for."
i spoke in oneighty. it was a delight. i learned a lot from it. it turned out alright. i truly love Jesus. it keeps me in tight. i should really stop rhyming. or it could end in a fright.
Is there any chance we can learn to embrace the hard times and see them as the goodness of God in our lives?
Romans 8:28-29 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”
James 1:17-18 “Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above who created all Heaven’s lights. Unlike them he never changes or cast a shifting shadow. In his goodness he chose to make us his own children by giving us his true word.”
Because of the never changing character of God, we need to begin to see the things he gives us as good and perfect. He is good. He is perfect. He doesn’t do things by mistake or say oops!!
April 2, 2000 was a record hot day in Puyallup WA, so much so that the downtown McDonalds was out of Vanilla and Twist ice cream. Chocolate only. We were in the midst of moving 10(+1) people 250 miles. Mom's blood pressure spiked. Diacogiannis Baby #9 would be born earlier than planned. We all waited for the call. It seemed like a million hours, and i was getting ansy. I wanted to see this new little sibling... and mostly know if it was a BLUE or PINK baby!!! We went to the park (and McDonalds) to try and make time move faster. It didn't. After chocolate ice cream, and being that this was little sibling #7 for me, i knew it had been long enough to go to the hospital. I knew my mom and that once she was in labor, with water broke it wouldn't be long before baby was here. I convinced our driver (aka i was 14 and too old for a babysitter, but too young to drive) to take us to Good Sameritan without full knowledge if baby was here or not... We got there and i sprinted to the elevator leaving, Jeremiah and Josh in the dust with Joy "the driver". Once we got to Labor and Delivery i went straight to the nurses station, and out of breath said. "Diacogiannis?" the nurse smiled and said, "Down the hall, second door on the right, baby was born about 15 minutes ago." I heard what she said but it didn't really register, i just headed down the hall... again leaving the other 3 in the dust... i heard my dad's "daddy" voice calming a screaming new born, and that was the clue to what room to enter. I don't even remember seeing/ talking to my mom for about 5 minutes i just remember running in the room and standing on my tip toes to look over my dad's and the nurses shoulder to see the most precious pink baby with a blue hat, and squinting eyes, and a scream that pierced the room. "It's a BOY!!!!!" i ran out of the room and shouted at Jeremiah, Josh and Joy("the driver"). I ran back in and hugged my dad as he finished wrapping up my new brother in the hospital blanket (you know the ones with the pastel colored bunnies on it). I wanted to be the first to hold him, but dad let Joy... whatever! Josiah Daniel Diacogiannis. 7lbs. 14 onces. 21.5 inches long and perfect! I was thrilled to have another brother, and this little dude came out with blond hair (it'd been a few siblings since a blond one). He was so little, so precious, he smelled amazing... baby lotion plus clean. His fingers were long just like all of us D babies when we were born. He was perfect. Happy Birthday Josiah Daniel. I can't believe you are 9 years old!!! It amazes me. You are my little think-tank brother. You had 2 sets of stiches before you were 2 years old. I think you might still have a scare in your ear. My first award winning picture was of you. As you started to grow from baby to little boy your personality started to show. You were so distinctly different from all of us. Your heart has always been in tune with people, and feelings. You have a heart that cares. I remember when you first fell in love with Art. You were so little and loved to color and paint. I remember when you were sitting at the kitchen counter and God told you that you would be an artist when you grew up and you were SO excited about it. I remember when you were a big brother to Elijah and you were so in awe of this little baby, yet you were still so little yourself. I remember when that same little brother was so sick and you sat on his bed and talked to him at the hosptial, you even brought him your favorite beanie baby to keep him company. That's just who you are. You care about people. I love you Josiah, and i'm so excited to see how you change the world. Never stop listening to Jesus. Never stop painting or drawing.
i went to Portland. i took pictures. it was neato. enjoy.
this is me listening to secrets from the Umbrella Man... Elisha and the Umbrella Man...Yummy food... Me and Elisha LOVE Chipotle... Elisha, me, Becky and Tess; We had a rockin' awesome day!
i was web-hopping and came across an oldie-but-a-goodie:
I first saw this video before i had ever been to Bend, or knew who Corey Parnell was...it quickly topped my "Top 25 Most Played" song list on itunes... and it's making a come back this week. Due to my limited perspective on my life right now... i am holding on tight to Jesus' promises(on or off paper).
I know He is good and has good plans for me. I know that walking a lifestyle of faith and trusting Him is SO much better than giving up. I know that i will look back at this "hard time" and see His refining work and be so thankful.
Humility Vs. Pride: The price of humility is our pride. I would rather be humble for an hour than proud and never learn anything. We can all at some point use more humility and situations that force us to look deeper inside.
Perseverance Vs. Waiting: I was going to say Vs. Procrastination, but waiting seemed nicer. Perseverance is pushing forward despite hardship, difficulty and delay. Perseverance grows our muscles; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually we all need to learn the art of perseverance. Whenever i hear the word, i think of a football game. Friday nights in the Fall. Darkness pierced by the field lights. All ages huddled together under umbrellas. Cheering, moaning, screaming, silence. Victory. We all want our team to win, sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't, but i am sure they tried to. I see the sweat, I can almost feel the mud and grass between the fingers, i can see the clenched jaw and the tight muscles. They for sure tried. Perhaps the other guys were bigger, perhaps there was an injury, perhaps... but they tried. I don't know any football player that would admit to not trying. It's about the fight, the perseverance, that no matter what the circumstance and situation they tried. Some people don't try in life. They focus on the mud, grass, rain, injury, or the bigger guy and give up. James 1:2-4 has always been a favorite:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
NOT LACKING ANYTHING! oh how my heart cries for more people with a heart that heads these verses. MATURE AND COMPLETE.
Love Vs. Selfishness: If you have never read 1 Corinthians 13 you should, and if you have an know what i am talking about... read it again, but in the Love is_________ part instead of LOVE put your name and see if you match up. I get stuck on the first one "(Cassie) is patient". Anyone who knows me knows that me and patience have a battle everyday. (sometimes i win). I am pretty sure if you take the opposite of each attribute of love from that chapter you could boil it down to one word: Selfishness. I have said it many times on this blog, but i will say it again; can we just stinkin' love people? And when we have learned to truly love the people closest to us, let's show it off.... let's (please) love the world and show people Jesus.
Purity Vs. Immorality: Can we please STOP selling purity as abstinence? There is so much more to a life full of purity than saving sex for marriage. (more to come on this one)
Having a Family: I think one of God's greatest ideas was family. I just moved in with one. (yes i moved again) Mike, Ally, Sienna and baby(still in the oven) are wonderful. I love watching families. I love (and miss terribly) my family, but am so thankful that i have one, and not only have one, but having a family with Parents who started a new legacy and line is awesome! My parents understand the value of being humble for an hour. My parents understand that hard times will come and situations may be bleak, but perseverance is worth the pain. If you check out my "About Me" you will see that i consider my parents an incredible example of Selfless Love. I like to call my dad(mom too) the "Purity Nazi"... and am SO glad he is/was!!! They didn't come from "normal" or "wonderful" families, but they knew that it was possible, and for that i am eternally great full.
This week was... a lot of things, but no matter what word i choose to use to describe it, nothing does it justice like a few photos!!! I had a random week off and took the oppertunity to head up to Washington to see my family!!! My dear friend Ali came along for some fun... we stopped at the Washington State capitol... Birch Bay... Joshua loves his M&Ms... Me and Katherine... An oddly-long log that Ali and i walked on... We went to the Zoo... Tigars are my favorite... Pike Place is a Seattle must... One of my all time favorite places in the World... It was a great week... check back later for a lesson from the Zebras. Seriously though... check back tomorrow.
i've been tagged in hide-n-seek. i've been tagged in freeze tag. i've been tagged in 2-hand-touch football. i've been tagged in capture the flag. i've been tagged on purpose. i've been tagged on accident. i've been tagged on myspace. i've been tagged on facebook. And now tagging has now moved on to the blog world...
Here are the rules:1. Go to the 4th folder where you keep your pictures on your computer.2. Post the 4th picture in the folder.3. Explain the photo.4. Tag 4 fellow bloggers to join in the fun. So, here is my 4th photo in my 4th folder:
Now the funny thing about this picture is that it's from the 4th of July 2007! This is the LOVELY Christie Dunagan blowing bubbles from a float! I was visiting Hood River Oregon for a random 4th of July trip and ended up in a parade and on a float!!! So many good memories!!!!
And now i tag... #1. My awesome brother Benjamin #2. The #1 Shelbi it's her birthday. #3. Branden, because he rarely posts photos and i want to see one! #4. Miss Joann Renee she inspires me to pursue my dreams.
I can hardly believe it's been a year since posting this video!!!! WOW, God has done a mighty work in our family since then, and I am blessed more and more each day by Jacob, Sarah and Rachel!!!!
Beware, if you in fact missed this the first time around you might cry... and even if you have seen it... you might cry!
Friday i spent all day at a wedding... well the wedding was only a few hours of it, but i helped coordinated the reception decorating and such so i was there a lot longer than the average wedding go-er. wedding with ice cream bars are brilliant:this is the glorious place the cake went, however the cake was a little late so i don't have a picture of it: This is Jesse and Taylor. Such an amazing couple! I am so blessed to know them!!!This is Jesse and Seth(the best man). Seth is brilliant and funny, so therefore the ring was tied to a very long string hidden inside the jacket:Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Hinrichs:Saturday took me to Portland for the day! Stephenie, Michelle and i went to see our AMAZING Joann Renee DIRECT Narnia (the musical)... so technically we didn't see her direct, but the actors and actresses executed her brilliance incredibly!
classic road trip self portrait:We stopped on the way for lunch/coffee/tea at Rosie's in Mill City. Free Advice; Guys surprise your date and take her to Rosie's. The drive is beautiful, the food is YUM, the pictures that could be taken would be brilliant. Stephenie getting into Acts 7: Michelle getting into Great is Thy Faithfulness in Latin:Left to Right: Michelle, Joann(the Director!), Michelle Parker, Me & Stephenie Sunday i went to a Superbowl Party. It was a delight, the 3D glasses didn't work. The Steelers are my enemy. Kurt Warner is a stud. Larry Fitzgerald is fast. Harrison(#96) should be embarrassed that he made Superbowl history and wasn't MVP (due to being a JERK on the field). Big Ben seemed to have gained a lot of weight since ripping off the Seahawks a few years back. The Office episode could have been better. The Guac dip was INCREDIBLE (thanks Katie and Lindsay)! But seriously the funniest part was Bruce Springsteen shouting this at the camera. "Step away from the guacamole dip and put the chicken fingers down!"
Benjamin means "son of the right hand". I am not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds neat. In the Bible Benjamin was the 12th son of Jacob and was the "favorite son" after Joseph was sold out to Egypt. I know a few Benjamins. Three of the amazing Benjamins all have one thing in common... they are photographic geniuses!!!! (click on each name to see what i mean.)
#1 (and my favorite) - Benjamin Jacob Diacogiannis.Number 7 in the "D" family line up, I had the priveledge to be inthe room when little Ben was born. He has always been a rad little brother, and i think if you have to have a little brother this Benjamin is the one to have. He is fairly even tempered. He has the biggest servents heart of any 15 year old i know! He love's God and loves life. In the past 2 years "my" Ben has become a little brother after my own heart; he fell in love with photography!!! Click on his name and experience his blog and the beginnings of his photographic genius.
#2- Benjamin EdwardsAs i mentioned in my post regaurding the close of 2008... Ben is my photography "hero". I found out about his work long before i thought about moving to Bend, and when i found out the webiste i most visited for inpiration was in my "new" city, i was elated and couldn't wait to meet him in real life. Ben and his wife Lauren are 2 of the most kind people i know. They love the Lord and are not shy about bringing his love into their work. They take pictures that caprute my attention for hours. They live with a passion to see lives changed. They have a super cute son named Parker... who someday will be my good friend. =)
#3- Benjamin BraffBenjamin Braff is the newest addition to my "Benjamin Hall of Fame". We "met" via Facebook, and soon realized the world really is a small place. He is a YWAMer at heart and of course in that we would at least know 1 person. I was intorduced to his work after eating Indian food with a mutual friend, so perhaps it was the yummy food in my tummy, but when i saw his work I was inspired and hopeful to know the person behind the lens.
And so you see, you should indeed name your son Benjamin, but please refrain from calling him Benny.... most likely he won't like it. Ben, Jamin', benji. Ben, B-E-N-bennen, B, BenHamen or other variations are ok, but not Benny.
The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you’re not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don’t take it personally when they say “no” — they may not be smart enough to say “yes”.
Oh how i love the comments that the last post has generated!!!!
This is my P.S. to that post.
Although i am single and most defiantly am waiting/longing for "Mr. Wonderful" the previous post was not only thought up in the mind of a 23-year-old who desires to have a man by her side. It was written by a 23-year-old who desires to see real change in the World around her....a change not by any political party or group of people who have their panties in a ruffle, but change that is inflamed by the Word of God and HIS desire to be loved, see others loved and serve the World. Love is a central key to change. And more specifically unselfish love. Think about real change. Perhaps change you have seen or dreamed of. If it is change only God can bring about then it is fueled by His love for the World and desire to see all people come to a knowledge of Him. If it is change people can bring about... on a large scale it needs to be fueled by a love that has no selfish ambition.
I will not sit here and pretend that the previous post came solely from a place of "world change". But please read it again. Please don't read it through lens of a girl desiring a man. I wrote it as that girl, but also because of SO MANY MORE THINGS going on in my life... and RISK is involved in every step. I once heard it said like this; Faith is jumping over a river. It takes a small amount of faith to jump over a 10ft. stream of rushing water. Risk is still involved, yet on a small scale. It takes a larger amount of faith to jump over a 15ft. stream of rushing water. More risk is involved. It takes a lot of faith to jump over a 25ft. stream of rushing water. There is a lot of risk in even thinking about jumping 25ft. However it's faith in this situation is not just believing that God will catch you, build a bridge or give you wings. It's believing that you are actually hearing the voice of God and you believe in your self to actually make that jump.
Peter did not start sinking because he didn't believe Jesus. Jesus was doing just fine. Jesus had in fact told Peter to walk to him on water, so in fact Jesus believed that Peter could do it. Peter didn't believe Peter could do it.
My hope is that we all would be in the Word, and listening to the voice of God, so that when we have waited. When we have prayed. When we have heard the voice of God pointing us in a direction. We would indeed be ready to take the risk and jump... and then change would come.
This right here beautifully sums up a lot of things i have been mulling over the last couple weeks:
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." -C.S. Lewis
It's all about RISK people. What kind of risk are you willing to take to possibly love and be loved by another person? Is it worth it to stay safe inside yourself and feelings? Or to take a risk, with the possibility of failing or hurting?
"Are you afraid to be the only one to fail? What's worse, to try and fail or never live to tell the tail?... ...When did the skeptics get to define you?" -Elliot Those are the lyrics to a song that is fast one the heels of my top favorite 5! They have been haunting me for about 3 weeks. What RISK am i willing to take to possibly live a dream? Should I just continue to sit and "wait" for life to hit me in the face or take action and embrace the life that God has given me? Should I let the opportunities to see something miraculous happen pass me by? If I let them fly by with the wind that won't stop blowing I know I will wonder and over-analyze "why" or "what if" until I fall asleep.
It's all about RISK people. What RISK are we going to take to see life, real life... and really if I fail... I know that God is still working to make me look more like Jesus, and perhaps the mud I attain from failing(falling) will actually make me more beautiful! **Thanks and shout out to my good friend Elizabeth Fischer for reminding me of this quote from C.S. Lewis.**
*Please tell me the title at least made you smile a little tiny smile?*
2008 was a year to remember for sure. So many good times. I'm sure there are many moments i wish i could remember better; and one's i know i will never forget. As i ponder the last year there are many was i could write this blog, by the number or events or hardships. I could make some really great spiritual allegory or try and paint a picture. I could upload a thousand photos from the last year or one that i think captures the whole year. I could just tell you to go to my blog archives and start with January 2008 and work your way forward. I'm still pondering, so please forgive what may come as a random jumble of moments as i remember them.
Favorite Photos of 2008(6 of 9000+ taken in '08):
January 2008:April 2008:May 2008:June 2008:December 2008:Yes i really did take over 9,000 photos in 2008!!! I know I'm a little shutter happy.
The following is(sort of) what i wrote for my family's Christmas Newsletter and sums up my life nicely:
This year has been full of so many joys, surprises, pleasures and excitement I could fill a book! The faithfulness of God was exactly what got me through the first year of living in Bend, and I am so grateful that he never let’s go of us when we surrender to Him completely!!!
Ministry. I am still volunteering with the High School ministry at Westside Church and weekly have moments that make me want to JUMP, DANCE and SCREAM: This IS what I was made for! I counseled cabins at both Winter and Summer Camp, I mentor a few girls one on one and spend lots of time letting my creative ideasrun wild with themselves. My goal: to see young people follow hard after God and His purpose for them on the earth. Few things bring me more joy then to see a student “get it”.
Friends. Oh, how the Lord has blessed me with incredible friends this year!!! I remember the lonely times, but I praise the Lord that those moments are fewer then before! Boating, coffee, hiking, coffee, wake boarding, coffee, games, coffee, laughing and more coffee. I love that each of those things reminds me of great times with friends. Watching my brother fall in love with Heidi was something i will never forget! Watching Jenna walk in Faith as she gets ready to head to Botswana is something that makes my heart dance. Watching Stu fall into real life with Jesus brings tears to my eyes. Watching lots of friends DO what they were made for makes me want to shout for joy and smile lots! Seeing Paige and Whitney head off to college made me a proud "big sis". Sitting at Backporch with (Joann, Mekenzie,Katie, Stephenie,Lisa, Jessie, Karlee, Jordan, Michelle, Cliff, Casey,Dave, Majell, Jenna,Bo...)Did i leave anyone out? Basically Backporch Coffee+(amazing)Friends= LIFE!
Work. After a year and a half at Red Robin, I took off my blue polo and khaki pants. I put away my apron and birthday songs. I picked up a blanket, binky and a BEAUTIFUL baby boy named Seven! Becoming a nanny has been one of the biggest blessings of my Fall. Seven and I have lots of fun together. He is one of the sweetest-tempered babies EVER! We like to go for walks, read books and play pee-a-boo.
I have also had the pleasure and blessing to start developing my photography business here in Bend. God totally blessed my socks off with a great Photography mento who is incredibly gifted and fun to learn from. Benjamin Edwards finally relented from me web stocking him and let me come along to a few shoots!!! I feel so blessed with the learning and with the business! My goal is to expand, get a website, and take double the pictures in 2009!
And so to answer my wake up call this morning(aka the title) I say this: BRING IT ON! I am thrilled and full of Hope for this year i have ahead of me. I can't wait to see God act on His Word. I can't wait to hear His whisper. I am anticipating His challenges. I eagerly look forward. I stand on my tip-toes and crane my neck to see what's ahead. Oh, the moments that are waiting to be captured. Oh the stories that await to be walked out. Oh the dances of Joy that await and the tears of growth wait to burst out! Bring on the Wonder. Bring on the year.
Lots and lots of photos... here's a quick peek....
Heidi and I on Thanksgiving!!! She and Gregg surprised me and came down to Silverton with the Family! I was so excited to see them... especially excited to admire the BLING on Heidi's finger.... that's right; it's official: My brother is going to marry my Best Friend! Carissa came back to Bend with me after Thanksgiving and we went Ice Skating with Stacia! I took Carissa back up to Lynden so she could prepare to fly back to Argentina and had a lot of fun jammed into 2 days! Including but not limited to:
Woods Coffee with Elijah! Hooray for Coffee and Connect Four!Christmas Tree Hunting with my Family! Josiah looks so excited to be helping chop that tree down...Jacob finishing up the other tree....5 of 6 Greek Princesses.... Lindsey we miss you! I had WAY TOO MUCH FUN... taking pics of myself in the ornaments... This is the best i could to for Prince Charming this year... sorry folks, the real thing is on his way... and in the mean time i will continue to pose with crazy fake guys.Seven and i continue to have a blast hanging out with each other... his mom calls me his "Best Friend".... i don't mind... I am training him to be in love with Nikon at an early age.... Eric and Linday let me take Christmas Photos for them... Sunsets from Seven's backporch are AMAZING.... There you have it folks... a quick peek at my life the last month!!!
Seven is in his crib right now... crying and crying.
Nap time starts with singing and rocking in dark room... and then i gently lay him in his bed, and the peaceful child starts crying his little heart out. I softly tell him it's ok and walk out of the room. The crying continues... 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes.... after 10 minutes i go back in and wind up the lullaby box, find his Binky and rub his tummy. He stops crying and grabs my hand as if i am leaving forever, not wanting me to walk out of the room. I slowly pull my fingers away and sneek out. The crying starts again. 3minutes, 5, minutes, 12 minutes... i head back in. The tears are streaming down his face and i pick him up. The binky is somehow at the other end of the crib. I put it in his mouth and walk around the room singing softly "Jesus loves me this i know..." he quiets down and softly whimpers behind the soothing rubber in his mouth. Seven reaches up and grabs my hair... his eyes wonder if the tight grip on my long locks will keep me there longer. As i lay him back down under the soft brown blanket, he spits out the Binky and the crying starts again. It's a tired cry. He didn't sleep much last night and his morning nap was shorter than normal. 5 minutes... the crying has stopped. All i can hear is the lullaby box, a soft whimper, and occasional sigh.
I remember so many times with all my younger siblings the lessons about nap time when they are little. Crying is ok. They aren't hungry, they aren't wet, they are tired and need to sleep. They need rest. I remember with Elijah it was so hard to let him cry. He was so little and cute and wonderful.... but the crying at nap time basically ripes out ones heart!!!! All he wanted was to be held. All Seven wants is to be held. He wants to know that i am right there. To feel safe in the arms of one who loves you so much! My mom taught me the art of letting the little one cry. Wait a few minutes and go back in... each time let the clock tick longer. It's so hard. I just want to rock him until he falls asleep. I want to sing him Jesus Loves Me 500 times while he coos and sniffles. But he is ok. He is safe, fed, dry and tired. Eventually he will fall asleep.
I was reading in Matthew 15 today... the story about the woman who comes to Jesus, because her daughter is tormented by a demon. 3 times Jesus ignores or rebukes her. She is a gentile. However her faith went down in history as an example of some who didn't stop asking, who didn't stop crying out for a miracle.
I have been pondering her story all day, and while i was rocking Seven it all came together in my mind. I cry out to Jesus on a regular basis. I hold on to His hand as if i will never hold it again. I reach out for a hug as if it's the last hug i will have from my savior. I cry out. I am not in danger. I am not hungry. I am not sitting in a puddle of life. I am tired and i just want to be held by the One who holds me best. I just want Him to sing over me. I want Him to tell me "it's ok" 500 times over. I don't want Jesus to leave my room. And so i cry out.
Is the cry in Faith that He will answer or in fear that He won't? For me it depends on the day. It depends on where my perspective is. I would like to think that the prayers of Faith, like the woman are more common than the cries of Nap Time Tears... i'm not sure what the ratio is. probably close to 50/50. He is always here. He always hears my cries. I think, however that He is listening for Faith not Fear. He is listening for belief that He is who he has proven time and time again He. He has never left me in the dark, hungry, scared, and wet. NEVER. He has never left me alone and not returned to remind me that He is just a moment away. Somtimes i turn away and forget He is there, but He has never left me.
The house is quiet. All i hear is the clicking of the keys as my fingers fumble across the black keyboard, and the tic-tock of the clock in the kitchen. Seven is asleep. The lullaby box is silent. My heart is stirred up; Faith is rising to the surface of my every thought. The picture of Matthew 15:21-28 is so real in my mind. I can see the woman, her eyes pleading, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, her hair is a wild mess from the search for the One who could free her daughter. Jesus is there. His back is turned towards her. His face is deep in thought. He knows her face without looking. He seems to be waiting for something, either that or pondering what the next few moments hold. The 12 look on in frustration and annoyance. Her last request hangs in the air... a cry of faith and determination to see a miracle that day...
"Woman," Jesus said to her, "your faith is great. Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed instantly."
I hope to some day sit with that woman and her the joy that must have flooded her heart when she heard those words. I wonder the laughter that must have filled her house that night. I think about her daughter, sleeping peacefully because the tormentor was gone. I think about her faith. Great faith. She has no name, but her Nap Time Tears were full of Faith, and she cried out expecting the answer she wanted. She didn't let anything stand in her way... and she heard those words from the One who can speak life, breathe truth and walk in Power. "Your faith is great."
1. that i have a lot of passion. 2. that i have a lot of energy. 3. that i really seem to love life.
I would venture to say that those statements are true! I do have a lot of passion. I throw myself into whatever is at hand. I'm not a fan of doing something i don't want to do... because i probably won't do it well. Things i love and do with passion: Oneighty I absolutely LOVE the youth ministry at Westside. This fall we as a ministry have walked through a lot of changes, in structure, in leadership and in students. From my perspective we have walked out these changes incredibly well!! I'm blessed every time i leave that building, wednesday or sunday! When i step into that room it's game time for me. I pour my passion into every person i talk to... I pour out my passion in worship... and last week when i had the honor to speak... i poured my passion out!!! Yes i live my passion on my sleeve. I'm ok with being a little different because of my passion. I would rather live this one life with passion than float through and wonder where my passion was.
Photography. Taking pictures doesn't seem like much of a task. A large population of people have cameras and even digital SLRs... so the "need" for a professional photographer seems to be losing it's spot... however somepeople were made for life behind the lens. I was. Whenever i have the joy of doing shoot my heart beats almost out of my chest and i want to jump and scream!!! I LOVE capturing moments and the people enjoying the moments. The other day i realized i have over 15,000 pictures on my computer!!!!!! People always say i should delete some... i do... but for every 5 i delete there are 20 that i love! I want to capture as many moments as possible in this one life. I know i wont' be able to take them with me into Heaven, but i hope so of my favorites will still be remembered in my heart.... and i have a secret hope that there is a HUGE art gallery in Heaven...and that some of the moments i campture will be there on canvas and just as real as they are here.
My job. Whatever it is. Red Robin. Seven. NCCTK. Timekeepers. Woods Coffee. I hope that each of the places i have had the blessing of working remember me as a person of passion who let it ooze out at work. Like i said i don't like doing things i don't want to do because i don't do it well. I have had the blessing of being able to have jobs that i LOVE... so of course my passion came out.... in the form of making a latte, changing a diaper, serving bottomless fries and loving on 4-6th graders.
Now regarding my energy. I only have one idea for where it comes from; Holy Spirit. Seriously. I know that Energy is not on any Spiritual Gifts test you will ever see, but i honestly believe that God knew i would need intense amounts of energy for the things he was/is lining up for my life... so i got a little extra...and it keeps coming. I'm so blessed by it. I know i couldn't do a lot of the things i have without the energy God has given me...or rather it wouldn't have been done will. I'm sorry if my energy messes up your peaceful day...or if it comes out loud...or if i seem ADHD... i really don't mean to be louder than "normal" or distracted... it's just an energy thing. I'll give you grace for that crazy thing you do if you give my energy some grace....i'm really not trying to run over anyone with it.... there's just a lot i want to see, do, say, smell, feel and places to go!!!!
That brings us to the last one. I love my life. I really do!!!! I have bad days. Please believe me on that one. I have days that i would rather crawl back in bed and wait for the next one to start. I cry. I actually feel pain. I'm not always bouncing off the walls, but i honestly LOVE my life. I told someone today that i only have one chance at this life here on earth and i am going to live it up. It's true. I have One Life. One moment. One hour. And i am going to live it up in the most fun, godly, crazy, adventerous way i know how.
This is a little quote about myself i have on Facebook:
i'm a little girl stuck in a 23 year old body, trying to leave a fingerprint on the world around me. my favorite color is purple and i like green apples.
it's true. More often than not, i forget that i am really 23. Sometimes i feel 6. Sometimes i feel 27. Sometimes i feel 12. and Sometimes 16. I want to live this One Life with passion, energy and love every moment of it!!!! I want to leave a fingerprint on everyone i meet and everywhere i go. I don't want to miss one thing that God has for me here.
oh and my favorite color is purple, i like green apples, i have a weird liking for frogs, i don't own a pair of designer jeans, coffee was invented just for me, and i like doing laundry.
At the beginning of October i started a new job; i am now a "professional" nanny! Seven is his name...being super chill is his game! He is seriously one of the most laid back babies i've ever encountered!!! He smiles a lot, has the cutest giggle and is a rolling machine!!!! We hang out 3 days a week from Sunrise to Sunset! I love it!!!
I know for sure these will not be the only fall photos i post this year. Bend is simply incredible in the fall... and i have been quite shutter happy!!!! we will call this Girl Shoot 2008 On sunday i went down to drake park to take "fall pictures" with 4 amazing friends! check it out...
Girl Shoot 2008 Simply Noel... "my" Jenna Kay... Katie beautiful Katie... Mekenzie... the model. crazy me... we had a lot of fun... more fall pics... just around the corner!!!!
intentional. it's a good word. it's meaning is really basic: to do something on purpose.
Everyday we do things on purpose. We get out of bed on purpose. We leave the house on purpose. We go to work on purpose. We have fun on purpose. We choose a certain attitude on purpose. We love people on purpose.
I know for a fact that none of you want to read about my purpose in getting out of bed everyday at 6:15am or about the purpose my work, or why my attitude is a certain way(or maybe you do). But the thing i want to post about tonight is loving people on purpose. Sorry if you were hoping for a "top 10 fun things" post. This isn't one of them... also let me apologize if i am too honest or have made you uncomfortable in the past. It's just the way i am wired; I don't sugar coat things very well.
loving people on purpose. first off i am not talking about the love of romance or love of chocolate cake. I am talking about the not-always-glamorous-sitting-in-the-mud kind of love. The intentional kind. For example:
When someone blesses me with coffee or a note of encouragement just because. NO OTHER REASON!!! that's intentional love. Or how about when someone texts you just to let you know they think you are wonderful... because they really do... no other reason. That's intentional love. I could make this all super spiritual and bring out some great story from the gospels about Jesus loving people intentionally but i won't. Look it up... the stories i am talking about are there.
I look around my life and see something that makes me sad. two words capture it pretty well:
Social Leverage.
Don't know what i am talking about? Hang out with some people... you'll see what i mean. I was going to classify this with young adults, but it applies in a lot of age groups. People looking for the "cool kids". People wanting so bad to be "in" or "noticed". People striving for attention. So many times we don't even realize that we are stepping on people to get there. We are only intentional when it means social leverage for us. We so often only go out of our social bubble if it will benefit us(ME) in someway. Why? Why? Why?
Can we please just love people? Can we please just try? i dare us. here are the practical things i am talking about:
- go out to coffee with someone you've never had a 1-1 conversation with... and ask them about their dreams, hopes and wishes. -invite someone to your "hang out" who doesn't normally come... mix things up a bit. -buy someone flowers, just because they reminded you of that person... it doesn't matter WHAT that person has or HASN'T done for you. -STOP. and ask someone how their life is... and be ready for a possibly long answer. don't rush past moments. -buy someone's bottled water when they don't have enough change... i did this at trader joes and caused quite a stir... it was really funny how people reacted to a SIMPLE act of kindness. -smile. it's beautiful no matter what you think... God made it in HIS image and HE is beautiful... your smile could LITERALLY change a day(and in turn a life)
i know some of those things sound so "cheesy". But if you honestly look at your life... do you see yourself as someone who INTENTIONALLY loves people or someone who rushes on past? May you think you are intentional, but are you only intentional if it benefits you? OR perhaps you know exactly what i am talking about because you live in the same world i do... and wonder if someone will be intentional with you... just because they think you are great and not because you can benefit their life.
it's my AMAZING Mom's NEW website.... she created it. Yikes! How does a mom of 13 manage to make a website "on the side" while homeschooling, being a mom, being a wife, and having a life????
Secret #1 about my mom: She is Superwoman.
Secret #2 about my mom: She is the BEST pie-maker in the whole world
Secret #3 about my mom: She is competitive; you would never know until you've played Hand and Foot with her.
Secret #4 about my mom: She has never been to Hawaii, and doesn't really want to go; Australia is her secret dream vacation.
Secret #5 about my mom: She is able to mulitply time. Seriously. I am pretty sure her days have 35 hours in them....
Secret #6 about my mom: She can spot a lie a mile away. She also knows when someone is being fake, but thinks they have her fooled.
Secret #7 about my mom: She looks 10 years younger than most people her age...Ask anyone who's met her... She doesn't at all look 4_ years old OR like the mother of 13!!!
Secret #8 about my mom: She had a cancerous tumor the size of a lemon in her throat. Ask her the story it's pretty rad.
Secret #9 about my mom: Even though she is 4_ years old, she still has so much to give this world!!!!! I am excited to see where God takes her on this next FAITH adventure... ask her about her definition of Faith, and you will find out 2 things; A. she could be an English Teacher B. she actually lives a life of faith!
Secret #10 about my mom: She is MY all time FAVORITE person to go on a girl date with, because she loves me!!! Not just in the "mom way" in the REAL person who actually cares about my life sort of way.
Oh and if that's not enough, she also has a REALLY great blog that she keeps up all the time!!!
BEWARE: if you click this link make sure you carve out a chunk of time, you will get sucked into my BIG AMAZING GREEK FAMILY and the incedible life they live. aka, you won't want to stop reading. =) click: I'm Ghana Adopt
That's basically all i wanted to say, but i think in order for this to be a real blog post i have to actually write something semi-intelligent.
today i have been listing my thoughts in ABC order, so we'll go with that and see what happens.
A. I have 3 brothers here in Bend for the weekend! Hooray for Gregg dating Heidi and Josiah and Elijah tagging along for some fun!!!!
B. It really was snowing for a while tonight. I was really pouty about it. Don't get me wrong i love snow, but not in October. This could be a long winter.
C. I have a new job! Hooray!!! God totally blessed me with a nanny job. My mom's new website says i am a professional nanny... which made me smile! Seven is 5months old; He and i had lots of fun adventures our first week together. We went for walks, swang on the porch swing watching the sunset, took naps, and laughed a lot. He is in that stage were the drool is a constant drip... so the cuffs on my sleeves were rather wet =) I'll keep you updated as Seven and i go on adventures through growing up.... hanging out with a 5 month old is giving me great perspective on life/being a mom/being a baby/growing up.
D. Red Robin and i are still friends... don't worry i haven't peaced out on the dirty bird yet!!!
E. Emerge is rad. Corey Parnell can preach. The series we started tonight has a long title: How I Learned to Let Go and Stop being such a Control Freak. And if tonights message was just #1.. it's going to be a great series.
F. I'm praying about taking a trip. It's been over 2 years since i went overseas and the ache in my heart grows everyday. My AMAZING brother Jeremiah, who by the way is learning Arabic, is 21, handsome, single, amazing, smart, funny, gifted, nice, crazy and did i mention he loves Jesus. Oh. he loves Jesus. ---no that was not an add for a future wife, i just wanted you to know what i think of my brother.---anyways, he lives in the middle east and is doing AMAZING things to dispel the kingdom of darkness, and bring LIGHT and LIFE to a hurting culture. Mostly i want to go visit him, but i also want to see what God is up to in the middle east.
G. i miss my sisters. the 3 oldest Greek princesses are all on different Continents!!! and the little 3 live 450 miles to far from me.
it's true. i heart bend. a lot. =) The last year and a half has been FULL of amazing adventures around this city. Saturday a dream came true when over 1,000 volunteers gathered and loved our city through practical acts of compassion and kindness. 1000+ fire hydrants painted. 4000lbs of trash picked up. lots of cars washed. thousands of LIVES CHANGED!!!!!
here is a sneak peak of pics.... view more pics HERE
oh did i mention i took over 1200 pics of the whole day! I edited that number down to about 550 "keepers"!!!
hey all!! i have been thinking about changing my business name for a while now, and this morning it all came together with a few clicks of the mouse!!!
Kekasmai (kay-cass-may) is the Greek word for "to shine" it is also one of the words my name (Cassandra) is derived from. In "looking" for a new name i knew i wanted something different, Greek, and meaningful. Because of my Greek heritage i wanted to bring that into the name of my business. I also didn't want to just pick a random Greek word. I thought about Diacogiannis Photography, but that didn't fulfill the meaningful(i'm not sure what it means) side of things, and I'm planning on getting married someday, so it would have to change again.
One of my goals as a person and as a photographer is to shine the light of Christ into and through my life and work. When i found out that my name is derived from a word that means "to shine" it was an automatic SMILE on my face and thought in my head as a name for my photography business. Nothing else about my business has changed; i still take pictures of all the same things, I'm not biased by the fact if you are Greek or not and i am still learning and growing as a photographer.
feel free to shoot me an email if you have questions, comments or want me to take pics of your event!!!!!
Shining for HIM, Cassie PS- i hope to have the Kekasmai Images blog up and going soon... check my "links" in the next few days, in the mean time check us out on myspace
She's pretty much a rockstar! I had the incredible blessing of shooting these with my hero in photography Ben Edwards! It was such a great afternoon for a Senior Shoot!!! Karlee was totally amazing, watching Ben do what he does was inspiring and the CREATOR did an amazing job with the lighting and the crazy-cool place we got to be! All of the above pics i took on my camera, while Ben was doing his thing... but stay tuned... i'm hoping to get my hands on some of the ones i took with his camera (aka my dream camera!).
this is Heidi Lynn Miller and myself. We hang out a lot. I consider her my BFF. I intorduce her as either; my Best Friend or my future Sister in law. Either works. I am so blessed to have her in my life. She is amazing, forgiving, loving, kind, gentle, full of God, full of Faith and she believes in my dreams when i am a crying mess of hopelessness!!!
PRAISE THE LORD for; moving 1 girl 800+ miles moving another girl 400+ miles Managers at RR who hired both girls Silly conversations about movie quotes Concerts with a Prayer Crying at 302 Picking apples Laughing a lot OUTRAGEOUS ideas sleep-overs giggling under the covers watching House, but not the gross parts roses road trips outrageous ideas being a reality spaghetti crazy pictures outrageous
Heidi, i'm looking forward to many more adventures and good times. Thanks for walking with the Lord and coming to Bend. I am so blessed to know you. So blessed to have you in my life. So blessed to call you my BFF. Let's; live next door to each other, never wear shoes, have little aprons, sun dresses that match, name our kids things like Meredeth and Verily and plant flowers along our white picket fence. i love you to the moon.
Hope; noun, verb, hoped, hop·ing. 1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope. 2. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence. 3. to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring. ~ "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24
Hope has been my word this week. It seems no matter where i turn in my devos there is something relating to or talking about hope. Heb. 10:23-24 was on the bottom of my journal page this morning and it jumped up into my writing and begged for some attention. I am pretty sure it was that little 4 letter word that most caught my attention. H-O-P-E. The definition above spells it out nicely, so i won't bother re-defining it. My favorite line is this; that events will turn out for the best. Yum. I think mostly it relates to all that my week has entailed. I am hoping and actually BELIEVING that the events in my life are not happen-stance, but rather have a purpose, allowed and directed for a purpose. I certainly don't see the whole picture of my life, and why they are happening this way. I only have a Guide that helps me navigate each day. It's been a roller-coaster, as you can probably tell from the last week of blog postings. I've had lots of hands-in-the-air smiling moments, and then the next moment holding on for dear life with a face full of uncertainty and fear.
unswervingly. 1. Not veering or turning aside; steady 2. In a constant and steadfast manner
This is how we are to hold to the HOPE we claim to have. (say #2 with an English accent, so much more fun). FOR HE WHO PROMISED IS FAITHFUL! I am learning more each day about the faithfulness of Jesus. He is the most trustworthy person EVER! He does keep all His promises, He does exactly what He says He will do. Sometimes i am the one who over thinks HOW it will be done and WHEN i will see the fulfillment, but there is no doubt it will be complete. In the last year and a half i have learned so much that this is true:
"You'll never know how Jesus can be all you need until he is all you have."
I know the provision of His hand, because it has been my what allows my life to happen. I know the kindness of His friendship, because in my most lonely moments, He has been my faithful friend. I know the most intimate Love, because when i long for it most, He shows up and His presence is indescribable! Sometimes i am afraid to be alone in my house, but then i hear Him whisper my name, and my heart skips a beat. There is nothing like KNOWING the Jesus you live for. It makes holding on the HOPE so easy, because when the doubt try to sneak in, you've got all the proof of your life that HE is all you need. HE is the only one who holds the keys to unlocking the life you dream of! In fact it's highly likely he gave you the dream in the first place!
Get to know the ONE who is HOPE and LIFE. The One who knows the WHYs, WHENs, WHATs and HOWs. and hold unswervingly, not only to Hope, but to His hand; it might be a wild ride.
Why doesn't the JOY of obedience compensate for the PAIN of it?
That is the question i have been asking myself all week....I'm not sure that it is a complete sentence that makes actual sense, so let's hope the jumble of thoughts to follow help us come to some conclusions...let's back up; On Monday September 8th I know without a doubt that God was asking me to do something. After lots of tears and toiling i actually did it.
It wasn't fun. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't easy. It WAS hard. It DID cost me. It made me cry. but i did it.
this is the equation we have cooked up in our heads: knowing what's right + doing it = good. good= joy, happiness, giggles, jumping-in-daisy- moments etc.
HOWEVER good doesn't always equal those things. I know we all know James 1:2-4 but not even that brings comfort. WHY? I know, Know, KNOW that i did what i was supposed to do. and i am glad knowing that, but the pain of doing it is still real. How do i deal with that?
Should i just pretend all is well? Should i smile and say i am fine, when really i am about to burst into tears? Yes, sometimes tears are not the right or appropriate answer, but what do i do with the pain? Why does something i know is right and good hurt so much?
"it's building character."
AWESOME! Please let me tell you that next time you are sitting in the mud of life crying out for answers. I KNOW it's building character, and i know someday i will look back and see 20/20 what God was doing and the purposes of Christ in my life won't be stopped by this little speed bump. But can anyone relate to just wanting to understand a little bit of the WHY?
Sometimes i feel like we as Christian Young People try so hard to "be ok" with our lives and have the picture perfect appearance, but for once can we be real with our feelings? Let's at least acknowledge that they are there. I am not saying that we should be lead by our feelings and emotions, if that was the case i would have said a big HECK NO to what i know in my HEART and HEAD that God was asking me to do. My feelings and emotions are actually the things that are in pain because of the actions of the heart and head.
are you tracking with me so far? I'm thinking as i type and re-reading as i go =)
here are the facts of my life this week: I walked in obedience. My feelings and emotions are in pain because of that obedience. I know in my heart and head i did the right thing. It still hurts. WHY? that is really all i am asking. Why? Why does it have to hurt so bad?
and what is it with HOPE? I hold on to the HOPE to which HE has called me. I know my HOPE is in Him alone. My HOPE is built on who He is, not only what He has done.
But how do i balance HOPE with real life? How do i HOPE for the right thing? HOPE is comforting, and something to hold on to, but what if I don't want to get my "hopes up"? It's now about balance. Balancing what i know about WHO Christ is AND the fact that He does what He says He will do. WOW, what an incredible God we serve! I love how i can look at the mess that is my life and see just that; a mess. But He looks at it and sees something beautiful!!! He sees the finished masterpiece, with all the puzzle pieces in the right places. Amazing.
i know that was a lot of rambling... and i'm strangely ok with not having a "packaged-nicely conclusion with a side of wit and humor" for you.
one thing is for sure about this week... i am learning more and more about who i am and what makes me tick. What makes me cry and why they do. I'm learning to love being in my skin, without trying to "fit the mold" of who everyone else is... i can be me, YOU are the one who has to decide if you are ok with who i am!
...not me silly, i've done it a million times... but today i got to take Hosanna, Sarah and Elijah on their first Float on the Deschutes! Here are a few of the questions i had to answer BEFORE the float....
-what are we floating on? -how does the boat fit in your car and be big enough for 2 people? -are there fish? -are there sharks? -are there worms? -are there whales? -will we get stuck? -what if we fall in the water? -how deep is the deepest part? -will we see any bugs? -is the water cold? -why do we have to wear our swimsuits if we aren't going swimming? -what if the air goes out? -how big is the river? -where is the end of the river? -is there a waterfall? -will we die if we go over the waterfall(try explaining a Spillway to a 6 year old)? -have you ever seen anyone go over the waterfall?
instead of uploading my 23 favorite floating pics... i opted for a slideshow...
i had an amazing birthday! THANKS TO ALL FOR THE Texts, voice-mails, comments, emails and LOVE!!! You can't really know how much it meant to me... I had a great day full of surprises and fun here are the moments captured on my camera!
Lily, Scooter and i tampoline-ing! Jump Lily! Woo-Hoo! Jumping with Scooter proved to be a little challenging! but we had so much fun! After laughing, giggling, and jumping to our hearts content we decided it was time for some serious girl business before church... time to paint the toes and fingers! cheese! Lily, thanks for hanging out with me on my birthday afternoon... and keeping me 23 years YOUNG!!!!
After a year and a few months... of procrastination i finally have Oregon Plates... on the front. Due to a really tough nut-bolt-screw-nail thing that attaches the plate to the plate frame... i cannot for the life of me(or strong guys i know) get the back WA plate off.... so Oregon for the rear is in the window... help?
why doesn't the joy of knowing i am obeying what God said take away the pain of what is happening?
march 8 2009.
Please don't give up.
Why is it that no matter how hard i try to go to sleep... 1am makes sense as the "right" bed-time?
why do i keep wanting to pick up my phone and talk for 3 hours?
how can my eyes keep crying? where do the tears come from?
why is yawning the worst thing ever?
the tears won't stop, yet i have a peace in my heart and a knowledge in my head that the goodness and faithfulness of God is going to pull me through. no matter what happens; HIS plans for me are good.
i have a feeling the 'beep' of an incoming text is going to make my heart jump.
i have a sudden and CRAZY longing to watch star wars.
i am determined to find a really great tree, climb it, take a picture of it and write all about it.
the tears won't stop... and my face is RED from crying so hard.... when i was little and sobbing, my dad would try and make me laugh by asking why my face gets red when i cry.
I still don't know why it does, but it still does.
don't give up.
i am trying to be the screaming optimist.
my screaming optimist... i can hear your voice; screaming the joys of the day and that the rain is coming!!!! your laugh makes me smile...
and then the tears come. again.
until then. this is me: trusting Christ through tears of obedience.
Hold my heart, O God, keep me ever in Your will There is joy within Your presence here and now But better will Is the the day that is to come When Your full glory is revealed I have long endured the trials of the age But I will say You are great and mighty God Robed in majesty You set us apart, You set us free When You captured out hearts You are great and mighty So in You I will rejoice, make my life an offering I'm enraptured by the mercies of my King And I will sing I will sing Your praise, I will sing Your praise O name above all names I will count the days until I see Your face I will evermore proclaim
let it be known; I LOVE SURPRISES!!!! i especially love being IN on the surprise! My amazing Heidi and i love adventures. We also like documenting these adventures; recently however our work schedules do not allow for any of the above =( no surprises. no adventures. no photos. and a lot of no heidi time.
Something had to be done.
Yesterday i didn't have to work ALL day! perfect. i picked Heidi up and asked her one question, Do you want Mexican or Italian Food for dinner... i was really hoping she would say Italian and SHE DID!!! We hopped in my car and i started driving. This the WOW! When Heidi figured out where i was taking her;This is the cool picture of the day... not what i was intending, but i was also driving and shooting... the sign reads "Portland 57 miles" We were really excited for our adventure to Portland! And then dinner.... Old Spaghetti Factory... one of my all time favorite places to eat! it's true... tummy's satisfied. We also went shopping, and did document it, but that was Heidi's camera... so check back for more on that later.
i hope my little moments of the Word are encouraging... i don't come close to writing with such conviction and life as it brings... that's why recently i have been more quiet with my thoughts and more just the Word.... YUM it's so good!!!!
Proverbs 1:2-4
"Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair. These proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge and discernment to the young people."
I like to say, " a Proverb a day keeps bad decisions away."-- cheesy i know... true? so much so!
like i said... i went hiking at Smith Rocks... it was glorious!!! i think i could spend 8 hours just walking around taking pictures there... however on Wednesday i was there to be a "serious" hiker... it's ok to laugh at that statement...so i didn't take as many pictures...
here are my favorite; Jesse... guy in the picture... and i had a great time hiking misery ridge/monkey face.... if you want a great feeling of accomplishment; do that hike... and don't give up!!! the view from the top is incredible and the feeling of actually pressing on past the 9 million stairs you have to climb is awesome!
Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
In the last 3 days my world has been turned upside down. I have been challenged in my faith, mind-set, goals, hopes and i hiked Smith Rocks, which is a whole different kind of challenge. =) Over and over in our christian lives we are taught that the Jeremiah 29:11 life is for us... and i totally believe it is. I stand on that promise that God does have a plan for me and a Hope and Future are mine, but sometimes I get so caught up in that hope and future i forget to live today. Maybe it's just me, but i get too caught up in my dreams, visions and goals that i don't live my moments well. The last three days feel like 3 years, and at the same time 3 seconds. Because i am a photographer i capture things in my head as visual images, right now i head is FULL of beautiful-scary moments from the last three days.... On Tuesday of this week i decided to take a risk. On Wednesday i hiked Smith Rocks. On Thursday i decided that instead of being scared of my risks and falling off rocks, i was going to REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!
I know i sang the song a million times in Sunday school and Christian preschool. I also know that i have forgotten and taken for grated that verse and the song. Each day is a gift, each breath is a piece of tape holding that gift together, each giggle is a ribbon, each terrifying moment brings you closer to understanding that gift. Sometimes i forget that. Sometimes i want to rush through the gift and get to the other side. Sometimes i want the puzzle to just be done already! I want to live my gifts well. I want to walk them wisely. I want to get to the dream God has for me, but i also want to enjoy the unwrapping the present. I want to embrace the sunsets, and city lights from the top of Pilot Butte. I want to slow down and rejoice in it. I want to sing the song over and over and over.
I believe that as i walk, not run, but as i walk through each day and as i pray my way through the challenges God's dream and my dream will unfold. I'm sure it will be different than i imagine, it wouldn't be amazing if i had it all figured out. And so, i breath in deeply. I watch the stars, i take some risks because;
This is the day this is the day, that the Lord has made that the Lord has made, i will rejoice i will rejoice, and be glad in it and be glad in it, This is the day that the Lord has made i will rejoice and be glad in it. this is the day this is the day that the Lord has made.
As we have previously established, i like to drive and i drive a lot. Last week as i was on one of my long drives... from Couer D Alene Lake Idaho to Bend.... long drive. I often drive through 'cute' towns and wish i had time to stop and take pictures. I finally decided that i was going to stop if i saw something i wanted to capture. I am so glad i did!!! I actually turned around to capture the old gas station and auto shop in Kent Oregon. I am pretty sure less than 100 people live in the sad little town on Highway 97 .... enjoy!
Eat it up, like a piece of meat. Soak in it, like a hot tub. Revel in it, like a sunset. Meditate on it, like when you are trying to decide what spend money on. Think about it, like you think about the one you love. Marvel at it, like a work of art. Enjoy it, like a river float. Don't forget it, like you would that one thing you forgot to buy. Re-read it, like you've never read it before. Pass it on, like those silly forwards. Drink deeply, it's living water. It is the bread of life.
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
August 14th 2007 was a big day for me. I was in Hood River/Mosier, i went to Mikes ice cream TWICE, and i also fell off The Pocket. The Pocket is a totally safe and fun way to beat the heat of August... you go, you jump, you enjoy the feeling of cold water all around you... and then you do it again! I never really got to do any of that on that crazy Tuesday last year... because i got really nervous... and instead of jumping confidently and embracing the scariness of the 30ft (approx.) leap... i hesitated and fell... tumbling down, hitting some rocks half way down and landing in the water head first... not so fun. My favorite line of the day was this, "what hurts?" well pretty much everything for the first 30 seconds... and then nothing.... except for my left foot when i bend it a certain way. 24 hours later i discovered i had a broken 3rd Metatarsal. After 6 weeks in a foot brace, a few weeks of crutches, and some great nicknames I was back to my normal self!
One Year Later I am in awe of all the things God has done in my life. That crazy Tuesday seems like lifetimes away, but at the same time the details will forever be etched in my memory. In order to commemorate such a fine milstone, i made a trip back to Hood River/Mosier and had a BLAST with my "family" (Dunagans and CCHR). To them;
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT THIS LAST YEAR!!! YOU ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! I'M SO GLAD I WAS WITH YOU WHEN THIS SCARY DAY HAPPENED AND I'M SO BLESSED BY ALL THE LOVE AND ENCOURAGEMENT YOU SO FREELY GAVE ME ALONG THE WAY!!! I LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE VISITS TO MIKE'S AND AWESOME ''POCKET'' MEMORIES!
and now for the pictures.... I went to Mike's Ice Cream... twice =) I went back to The Pocket..... This is looking over the cliff from where i fell. These are my feet hanging over the edge... The cliff towering over me... Happy One Year Later! Check out my blog post from last september to see the diagram and pictures of the bruised foot!
I love the word of God. The B-I-B-L-E yes! that's the book for me!!!! so i've decided that periodically in the next little i will have "the bread of life" moments on here... All it is, is the Word. Nothing long and super spiritual. Just the Word. Because there is POWER in it. Sometimes the world(and the church) don't need our ramblings about how we feel about a certain verse or chapter, we just need the verse or chapter. Let's take a break and just enjoy the Word, just like we would a really good meal. One of those meals that makes you sit back and slouch a little while you enjoy the after taste and full feeling.
~ Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."
I like to drive. It just one of those random facts about who i am. I also happen to drive a lot. I bought my lovely Honda Passport on February 14th 2007(happy valentines day to me!) and it had approx. 89,000 miles on it. Today it has over 117,500... that's over 28,000 miles in about a year and a half! most of those mile spent by myself!!! I love long road trips, i love short-ish road trips, i like to drive. I like to think, laugh, listen, pray, dance, and sing while i drive. Yes, i did say dance. Ask Heidi... i can bust some rad moves while driving. I also like seeing things that make me laugh out loud, even though no one is around to hear it. for example but not limited to:
1. road names such as: Tweed Rd. Sagebrush Way. Bodacious Drive. and of course all the Market roads in Bend.
2. a cow. one, not two, not three. One random cow on the mountain pass.
3. motorcyclist with a helmet, but no face shield... I imagine small insects flying at your face at 55mph would not feel so good.
4. better yet, motorcyclist wearing a helmet, but a tank top and ripped jeans. Yes, his head will be saved, however the rest of his body will be shredded to pieces, if he happened into a wreck.
5. girl in bikini on the side of the road... standing on a snow bank attempting pictures under a waterfall. Can anyone say Hypothermia?
and last but not least
#6. woman standing on the side of the road wearing a sparkling(think tap dancing) hat, black t-shirt with an open back, holding a cardboard sign that says this, "$179,000 Waller Road." Did i mention that the lettering was glitter-paint? I'm not sure if she was trying to sell the road or house on the road..... hmmm not sure.
I also have become a fan of photography-while driving. It's a new art. The key is to keep watching where you are driving and just point the camera in the direction of the object you desire to capture and see what happens for example:
the small print says, "not a swear word."
ok so it's to small to read, but we've all seen the signs, "DEER" and in small print "NEXT 3 MILES" Will someone please explain to me how the deer instinctively know not to go further than 3 miles down this stretch of highway for fear of losing their life? Because for some reason, i don't see Bambi and his mom having this conversation;
Bambi, "Hey mom, can me and thumper go play chicken with those roaring, colorful, rather fast moving animals?" Mama Dow, "Ok Babmi, you can go explore the wild and exciting road, where the automobiles play, but only within these 3 miles, because this is where they know and have been informed that we are. So beyond the 3 mile mark, they won't be thinking or looking out for us there. Please be careful. But have fun!"
This is the coolest pancake i have ever seen in my entire life. Yes, it is a Frog Prince. Yes it is all one piece, and yes i did eat it. It was also very Yummy. Thank you Mr. Gilstrap!!!! My life is now closer to being complete, because i have experienced the world famous Gilstrap Frog Prince Pancake!!!!!
seriously people. Show me a cooler pancake, i dare you...
The following is a response to a friends blog titled big faith by my dear friend Ann Dunagan. Thanks for the inspiration ---- --- ---- What a beautiful picture of faith. I am learning right now how to handle my faith, it's delicate like a flower, powerful like a lion, passionate like a dance and at times as confusing as a maze. What does one do when they have passion/vision/dreams/prophetic moments yet they are like that picture of the girl with the rock? TOO big for me to figure out and 'make' happen. Often too big for many to understand or see. What then.... then i must stir up my faith and cry out to the One who gave them to me in the first place... and then stand in FAITH believing He does indeed have a PERFECT PLAN that reaches beyond this moment, this week or even this life; His plan reaches into eternity. And so i stand in Faith. Sometimes my hands are lifted in worship, sometimes the standing turns into kneeling/crying out in prayer and sometimes i just sit in a silent moment and try not to think about it or figure it out.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrews 11:1
We have all heard this verse in sermons, videos, plays... in the bible reading about a month ago. But when we stop to think about it here are the 2 things that come to mind;
#1- faith is a big deal and hard to wrap my head around. #2- faith goes right along with Hope, and hope is something i can understand and wrap my head around. Hope is something we all have and hold onto. Hope is what the world needs. Hope is the message that makes sense to a world lost in darkness.
and my hope is found in NOTHING less than Jesus blood and righteousness.
uh oh i LOVE that hymn... i could go on for hours... but i'll leave it at that.
The Westside-rs These 5 girls are AMAZING! This is me on the last day... not sure why my smile is so big?!?! We were getting ready to come HOME! We were a little "mis-informed" about dress-up night Jenine got the memo... The Black Hole Gross games.... This is Casey. The goal was to get the most Cheetos to stick to the face full of whip cream. Jenine was in a race to see who could eat half a watermelon faster... That's the basics folks. We had a great time. Lots of craziness. Lots of God moments. Beautiful Sunsets. Amazing People. And if you ever wondered when the line, "when heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss" was going to show up during worship... it has arrived! Not kidding. more stories to come!
http://justsmilesphotography.wordpress.com/ it's still in the works, but i think overall it's going to be better and easier for people to actually see a lot of my photography in one place!!!! hooray!
We almost had all the Diacogiannis Kiddos in the same place at the same time... Carissa is still in Argentina and Jeremiah had a work meeting... but here's the rest of us.... L-R= Ben, Josiah, Gregg, Elijah, Josh, Rachel, Hosanna, Me, Sarah, Jacob and Lindsey!
Beep. this morning i woke up to a text message. i glanced more at the time than the text itself. 9:07.
9:07? for real?
I have been at my parents house for a long weekend and every morning except today i have woken up to the sound of one of my little siblings whispering in my ear.... everyday much earlier than 9:07. As i lay in bed, the sun broke through the red curtains with all the power it could muster, I could hear the birds outside and the quiet hum of the ceiling fan in the living room. I couldn't hear ANY people sounds. I wanted to hope that perhaps they had all slept in, but i knew that they had all gone to bed hours before me and my silence would soon be broken. I grabbed the comforter and pulled it over my head, hoping for a few more moments of sleep. Sure enough the door flew open and i could hear a little person approaching the bed. "cassie?" came the whisper... and then a second little person entered the room, "rachel! come back down stairs, cassie is sleepin'." I rolled over and produced the evidence that i was indeed awake; my half-smile half-yawn, the messing pile of hair and my squeaky voice, "good morning girls." Sarah and Rachel both looked at me, not sure if they had just woken me up, or if i had been awake under there. They starred at me for a moment and both hurried back out of the room and down stairs. I climbed out of bed and went to see where all the other little ones were...
as i walked down the stairs i heard the washing-machine spinning someone's laundry, the shower had just been turned off, and a chorus of little voices was drifting out from underneath the door of "the boys" room. I opened the door slowly and peaked in... six little heads turned to stare. "We're playin' UNO." "what's for breakfast?" "Are you leavin' today?" "Josiah's being rude." and "i want waffles" are just a few of the phrases that turned my half-asleep self into wide awake big sister.
I tried to answer all the questions as i backed out of the room and heading back of the stairs. The pitter-patter of little feet followed me. I told them i needed to shower and then i would figure out breakfast.(i can't function with out a shower and moments to pray about my day) I hadn't even had a chance to brush my hair when the pounding started on bedroom door. "He said i have to eat waffles and i want pancakes." "can we buy syrup?" "let's take a vote."
I got them going on breakfast and escaped for the office to check email and blog updates. I listened as they helped each other set the table and pour the batter. "it's hot, so be careful." "can you get me the plates?" "i want waffles and pancakes" "are the strawberries frozen?"
in a few hours i will be heading back to Bend. I will wake up tomorrow morning in my own house, with my phone vibrating the time, the sun shining through the black curtains and the sounds of the neighbors sprinklers starting off the day. I will lay there and wonder how the weekend went so fast and if all the pictures turned out good. The silence will be loud in my ear and i will turn on my itunes to break things up while i start my day.
The morning sounds are so different here and there. Here life is so evident by the sounds. There i might not have a conversation with another human until 10 or 11. Here "cassie" is as common in my ear as "pink? or No pink?" there.
11:01.
I glance at the clock and the office has now been invaded by 3 little ones. They all want to ask me something... Here i go to answer the morning sounds.
Yesterday was a day for the books or blogs... or something! I went boating at Lake Billy Chinook with some great friends. We all enjoyed a full day of sun-bathing, wake-boarding, swimming, waterfall-gazing and eating junk food!!! i'll let the pics tell the rest of the stories! let's start with these amazing people. this is Eric and Lindsay.Dane started the wake-boarding off nicely... Then Nicolette...
And then it was my turn... now please be gracious with my form and lack of trickery. This was the first time i have tried to wake board in 5 years! I got up!!!!After my last run, my arms and legs were so tired i could hardly climb back in the boat... I collapsed on the back, still smiling, but totally drained of all energy. PS- i am feeling it today! Tara was a pro... Then came Eric. Perhaps it was because i have only seen this sort of thing in my imagination...or perhaps it was the fact that i am still learning... or maybe it was due to my lack of wake-boarding knowledge... it doesn't really matter. Eric is a Master of the wake. check it; Not sure if you can tell, but Eric is jumping the logs... Like i said... Eric is the wake Master! I LOVE WATERFALLS!!!! so needless to say my heart was dancing when we came around the corner to this lovely view... We set anchor and made the trek up to the fall... it was SO beautiful, however i couldn't bring my camera, because of the swim to get to shore... bum deal.
"my" Jenna Kay and me... lovin the summer sun... it was hot... incredible view of the mountain... Note to all my Washington friends and family; Please inform me if i am incorrect, but i have never seen anything like this in any lake in WA EVER! This my friends is a "lake potty" if you will. Basically a floating metal box that you can pull up to and answer nature's call. I was pretty content with my day when we returned to Bend. I had successfully wake-boarded. My tan was darker and in some places red-er. The lake was beautiful, the mountain and waterfall made me just want to do nothing but live in a tent all summer. Hanging out with quality people all day was a huge blessing and i so i was satisfied with my June 28th. I didn't really think it could get better yet it did... x2!!! Please enjoy this sunset; I couldn't get any great pics, but after the sun went down the lightning came out to play...and play it did.. for over 2 hours!!! It was better than the Fourth of July. No rain. I couldn't hear the thunder. Just light. Bright white bolts, breaking the darkness in half!!! Amazing. Of course the lightning reminded me of one of my favorite Psalms... Psalm 97:1-6
The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice. Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side. His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory.
Like i said.. it was a day for the books.. or in this case the blogs. Thanks for all the fun memories, all who were there. And all who were not... let's make sure the summer doesn't end without lots more boating blogs and pics, stories and laughs!!!!
Jonah has always been one of my favorites. I think because he is so raw. So understandable. So stinkin human. Maybe it's just me, but i can relate to this guy for some reason...And today his lovely little book was in our devotional reading here are the little bulletin points that i wrote in my journal; -Jonah gets a word for a bunch of mean folks and decides that he doesn't want to visit them, so hide and seek with God sounds better. FYI to jonah: God always wins! -The sailor bunch vow to follow God after seeing his great power in the storm ending as soon as they throw jonah over. -Jonah gets swallowed by a big fish. A Big Fish. He prays for 3 days and then gets spit up by this big fish... he heads to Nineveh. - the WHOLE city of Nineveh repents(sackcloth and ashes) and fasts! Not even the animals were allowed to eat or drink!!! - Jonah gets a little selfish, loses perspective, and is set on being right. He climbs a hill to watch what will happen. -God shows up and shows jonah His heart for lost people. Last few verses of the book; "10 Then the Lord said, “You feel sorry about the plant, though you did nothing to put it there. It came quickly and died quickly. 11 But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals. Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?”" i have clearly i added the emphasis in that quote, but that thought just jumped off my page and sat in my lap. I live in a city just a tad bit smaller than Nineveh, but the thought is the same "living in Spiritual Darkness." Isaiah 40:28 "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom." this is what i want to say to my city Bend;HEY! YOU ARE SLEEPING, LIVING IN SPIRITUAL DARKNESS! HAVE YOU NOT HEARD? THE LORD IS IS IS IS IS the only, amazing, loving, kind, gracious EVERLASTING GOD!!! HE WILL NOT GROW TIRED AND WEARY.... he's waiting for you. HE IS pursuing you. HOW long will you turn your head from the Sunset that displays his majesty? How long will you deny the breeze he sends to refresh you? How long will you be lulled to sleep my the song of the enemy? WAKE UP!!! Turn to God and receive his GRACE and MERCY!
Recently i have been having a really hard time putting the thoughts in my head into words that make sense. I feel like when i am trying to express my self all i am saying is "blah blah blah". This is such a frustrating place to be for many reasons. for example, i can't express my extreme gratitude to my amazing friend Heidi for letting me invade her space for the last 3 weeks, I can't tell Jenna how much i appreciate her love for me and my wining about not having a place and not being settled, i can't express to my lovely family how much i love them, or my dear High Schoolers how much i believe in them! And so here i am, i had a great moment with Jesus this morning and would like to try and express it. Please be gracious with me.
Many have said this is the year of breakthrough and every time i hear it i want to believe it, but can't. I couldn't see what i needed breakthrough in so i couldn't see breakthrough. In the midst of being a wondering house-hunter and random job schedule, i couldn't find my feet. I couldn't find my roots. I felt totally uprooted and drifting. Not in a "oh my i've lost my faith" sort of way, in a where am I? Where is my passion and drive hiding? So many questions have been going through my head. Why? When? How? Who? In the last month I feel like i've grown. I feel like my faith has been challenged. I have felt the attacks and i have stood... sometimes i just fell to my knees, but really my heart has been lost in the wonder of where God is in the mess of my life. I know he is here. i could feel his touch and saw his hand provide. I knew he was near, but the longing to sit and talk with him was so strong. I couldn't hear his voice clearly. I needed answers and all i could hear was, "believe me. trust me. wait on me." this afternoon however i received some breakthrough. It came in the strangest way. I was laying in the sun at Drake Park, just loving my day and reading The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. It's a great book about unforgiveness. I have always felt like i had a handle on forgiveness. I try to be a forgiving person and not hold offence from people. In the chapter i was reading today it was talking about the life of Joseph(my favorite) and this little paragraph woke me up; "Perhaps when Joseph had his dream he saw them as a confirmation of the favor on his life. He has not yet learned that authority is given to serve, not to set you apart. Often in these training periods we focus on the impossibility of our circumstances instead of the greatness of God. As a result we are discouraged and need to blame someone, so we look for the one we feel is responsible for our despair. When we face the fact that God could have-and didn't- we often blame him."
When i first read this i was thinking that's nice, but there is no one to blame in my situation except me. I don't blame God. Right as the thought came into my head the Holy Spirit said read it again. So i did. And again. I did. My heart melted. The tears came. I KNOW that God spoke to me a few years ago about who i would be and where i would go. I Believed the promise. I stepped out in faith. I walked through the fire, and YET what was spoken and promised was not happening, in fact the vision of who i was and where i was going had become blurry like a painting that had been sitting in the sun and faded. My idea of how the promise would happen and how the vision would be fulfilled had not even come close to happening so in my heart i blamed Him. The One who had been the most faithful. The one who had loved the promise more than me. The one who painted the picture. Instead of taking care of the vision and framing it inside His timing and ways i put it out there for others to laugh at and mock. I shared my dream carelessly. I let it sit unprotected in the sun and let the color fade and i blamed Him.
"Absolutely no man, woman, child, or devil can ever get you out of the will of God! No one but God holds your destiny." -Bait of Satan I lost sight of this. I let my circumstances dictate how i believed God was. I never lost my faith in who He is, but i blamed him for giving me a dream and then not fulfilling it, when the whole time he has been keeping it, waiting for me to believe him for His timing and purpose in it. I was trying to put his ways in my box. You are probably wondering why i am sharing this with you and where the breakthrough is. I share this so we can examine our hearts. We may be great at forgiving people and not holding offence against them, but watch out the little lies will try and trip you up in your thoughts about the One who loves you the most. I never thought i blamed God, but i did. In situations that don't make sense i think we just blame him without realizing it. We need someone to be responsible for what's going on and since i don't have control and neither do the people in my life, i blame him for not working inside my box. The breakthrough is this; Romans 8:1-2 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Praise the Lord! i can approach the throne of grace and receive forgiveness, and walk in wholeness as a chosen set free daughter of the king. I can pick up the vision he gave me and ask him to help me re-paint the faded parts. I can frame it in his timing and purpose. I can believe again for big things. I can live by grace and love that he pours out on me.
hey blogging world! thanks for checking back; my life is in a constant state of transition right now, so blogging is not hot on my to do list. Tonight however, i am awake and unwinding from work so i shall fill you in on life a little bit. I know it has taken me way to long to actually get around to writing out my scariest story and so we shall start with that.
Scary Story there i was just driving along, enjoying the full moon, worshiping with the ipod, Jesus in my front seat and happily approaching the end of the Mount Hood/Blue Box pass. In the last year i have driven highway 26 approximately 35 times, and many of those times at night, so this time was no different to me. I had just enjoyed a long weekend up in WA with my family and was ready to get back home to Bend.
The occasional semi-truck passed me heading to Portland, but I hadn't seen a car heading east since Sandy and assumed i probably wouldn't for a while. So there i was rocking out to something amazing when all of a sudden my rear-view mirror is filled with the bright lights of a truck. I glanced at my speedometer and realized i was going 60mph and we were still on the S curves on Blue Box. Apparently someone was in a hurry, because they stayed right behind me as i accelerated to hopefully give them some space. However when i was flying around the corners at 70+ mph i realized this was not fun and not safe; who knows what deer, cow, horse, or small rodent was around the next corner! I slowed down a bit as to avoid disaster but not to much as to upset the person in such a hurry behind me. Finally we came to a spot in the road with a passing lane and i gladly gave the trucker room to pass me and head off into the night.... or so i thought.
A few miles had passed and i saw a sign for Warm Springs; a small town that puts a smile on my face and marks the start of my favorite part of the drive; the High Desert! The rocks and canyons that glow orange in the light of a full moon( i told you i've done the drive a few times). All of a sudden the red brake lights of the moments before speeding truck interrupted my thoughts and i wondered why we were slowing down. Was there something in the road? Was he over heating? I inched over to the left lane to see what i could see, and all that i could see was the lights of on coming trucks and cars. Hmmm i thought perhaps something is wrong with the truck. I slowed down and came to a stop about 20 feet behind the truck. My music was still blaring Jeremy Camp's song I Wait For the Lord and i tapped on the stirring wheel hoping the delay wouldn't affect me. I sat there singing along and not really thinking about anything, until the man from the truck jumped out and came towards my car. He started by whacking the hood of my car and shaking his fist as he yelled profanities, he then approached my window. I checked the locks and swallowed hard. I wasn't sure what to do. By this time there was a car behind me and oncoming traffic roaring by. The man from the truck slammed his hand on my window and yelled some more. thankfully my music was loud so the swearing was a little muted, but the words hit me like pebbles piercing a calm lake. What had i done to make him so mad? Why is he yelling at me? What did i do? As he hit the window one more time i felt my body shake and the tears stinging the back of my eyes. He stomped back to his truck and was gone in a flash. I started driving, but my hands were shaking and the tears were flowing. Soon i was sobbing and crying. Between wiping tears and trying to drive i prayed and then cried some more. I grabbed my cell phone, but i was out of range. i knew the closer i got to Warm Springs the closer i got to being able to call my mom. So on i drove, Jesus by my side, tears that wouldn't stop and these words steaming out of my ipod; "this is where i belong in your arms holding tight, this is where i belong when i'm scared..." Not even kidding it was like the Holy Spirit jumped into my ipod that had been set to shuffle and said, play this song! What a blessing and awesome reminder of who was with me the whole time!!!
When i finally had some reception i called my mom; after a failed attempt of her only hearing her sobbing daughter say, "mom? i'm ok, but..." before it cut out i was able to explain to her what happened and how to pray!!! She was very relived when i told that story and that i wasn't in a ditch somewhere in a smashed car.
I made it home safe and sound, was completely exhausted in every way and ended up a little sick for 3 days but i praise the Lord for keeping me safe and for the other cars on the road!
well now that this is long...and its almost midnight; i will write the life update part of this post soon enough... but for now, i have to get up in 6.5 hours.
I love you all, my faithful blog readers. Live for eternity. Seize every moment. Be real. Be Honest. Smile just 'cause and love people well!!!!
For reasons not known to myself... my mind seems to come alive at night. I try to go to sleep; really i do. I even watch movies i've seen 100 times to see if i will be bored and drift off to the land of sheep jumping over fences (really who dreams of such things?), but to no avail. I am wide awake. things i find myself doing at 1:17 am;
2. take pictures of myself with my icamera.... and for your viewing pleasure:
this is my "why in the world am i awake?" face
this is "oh my it's still in B&W" 3. check my email, just in case someone else on the planet is awake at this hour and has emailed me. 4. check craigslist for a house to rent.... just in case someone woke up and thought perhaps they should post an add before the sun is shining and normal people are awake to read it. 5. yawn. yes i yawn... and for most people that is a sure sign that they are tired and should be in bed. I however am far from normal, so yawning just implies that air needed to be released in a slow and long sort of way. So there you have it. Me at 1:32 am. wide awake and wondering what you are dreaming about?
Every photographer loves to perfect the art of self portraits... especially with amazing little siblings!Josiah and me! what a stud-muffin!yes i know you already saw this one... but i like it a lot! a year ago i would never have guessed i would be blessed with 2 more little sisters!!!!!Rachel and meMadison and Hosanna have hung out and been friends for a long time, but this year their friendship has totally become like long lost sisters! They spend almost everyday together!This year they signed up at different time so ended up on different teams... this is Hosanna catching and Maddie at bat... yep, their best friends for sure! softball strong! Elijah sliding in to home! Oh how i LOVE t-ball!JosiahElijah, Preston and Jake have been friends since they were tiny guys when all they could do was sit, stare and drool... now they all play t-ball, ride bikes, play legos and do all the other really cool stuff big guys do!
We went to Vancover B.C. on Sunday for a walk in Stanley Park with a friend my parents met in Ghana!!!! Sarah stopped to blow the flowers... Rachel stopped to pick some flowers;sweet ride; no silly, it's not my dad's!papa D joins in the jumping picture fun! this is half of the Diacogiannis kiddos;E was tired after walking;rachel got a ride from hosanna;~A......swinging... ...good...... time!~me and Rachel... Elijah(age 6) took this picture! Holding On Elijah Vancover, Canada
this last weekend i went up to visit my FABULOUS family in Washington and took a TON of pics... here's one of me and my sister hosanna joy to keep you interested; Sisters
check back soon for:-more pics -the whole adventure-the Scariest Story of my Life (not joking it's SCARY).
I really am looking for a new place to live... however this is NOT it... but it's SUPER cute, and i could totally handle a house this cute.... perhaps tone down the colors!!!!
A New Use for Masking Tape A few nights ago, Ben headed to bed awhile after Jacob. He immediately ran back upstairs and said, "Mom ... Jacob's mouth is taped shut!" Hmmm ??? I contemplated whether or not to find my camera (this could make a good blog post), but, instead, just told Ben to take the tape off of his mouth, and that we would ask Jacob in the morning why he would tape his mouth shut before he went to sleep.
Well ... he actually had quite a logical explanation ... and we all had a good laugh ...
The following night, just before bed, I remembered the incident and casually asked Jacob about this new usage for masking tape. He explained that while he is sleeping his mouth hangs open and he drools on his pillow. He does not like to awaken to a drool soaked pillow, so he thought that taping his mouth shut would be a good idea. I asked him what he uses his mouth for, to which he responded (with a big smile), "Breathing?" I laughed, and told Jacob that he should thank Ben for saving his life ... since it is pretty important to be able to breathe while you sleep.
We all had a good laugh, as I explained to the kids that taping our mouths shut was not the best use of tape.
this picture perfectly captures how i am a lot of the time.... jumping for JOY in awe of what God has done with my life. I am in love with my AMAZING God!!!
The following is something i wrote about 3 months before i moved to Bend. I feel them same about Bend now as i did then. Perhaps this will fill in some blanks for your thoughts as to WHY exactly did she move to little Bend Oregon.... Bend Oregon Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
This is the first verse I recorded as a verse that I believe the Lord showed me in regards to Bend Oregon in my life! The second is equally important:
Romans 5:5 “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
Vision “You must allow your mind to wander outside the boundaries of what is and begin to create a mental picture of what could be.” –Andy Stanley Next Generation Leader
I can’t explain why it’s Bend. Why it isn’t Seattle, Lynden, Blaine, San Diego, or Senegal. If I could I would. But I believe that the Lord has something for me to do in Bend. I know it has to do with the Generations and things the Lord has done in my life that will empower those to come in someway. I also believe that the Lord wants to grow faith in this whole experience, not just for me, but also for those who are a witness to what the Lord has done in my life.
John 1:6-8 “God sent a man, John the Baptist, to tell about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony. John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light.”
My desire is to be a walking testimony of the Light; What God can do when we surrender what we know and follow the light he has given. I know I won’t always have the “big picture”. I may be holding a flash light and walking in complete darkness, but where the light shines I will see and follow its path as long as it is safe and clear. If the light is shone on a snake, or deep ditch I would hope I would be smart enough not to try and walk through it or leap over it, but shine the light in another direction and prayerfully follow where it leads.
I have to go to Bend. To learn about ministry. To grow in my faith. To believe for more than I have seen God do. To, perhaps walk through a fire…. To be refined into the beauty the Lord has for me. Zechariah 13:9 “I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘These are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”
Are you sure it's only been one year?I am certain it has been a life time... or at least half of one. When i stop and think back over the last year and all the things that have happened i see so much. The most consistent thing is the Faithfulness of God. I am overwhelmed and amazed! So many times this last year i was less than faithful. I was so consumed in my discomfort or pride that i forgot to remember why i am here. Not here as in Bend Oregon, but here on this earth here. I would get so lost in my own world; and forget to change the one around me. Psalm 91:4 "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." It's so true. His faithfulness was my shield. I imagine more so than i even know or will ever see. I love that he loves me enough to not give up on me. He keeps teaching me, even when i stumble and fall over the same situation ten times, he knows i am one step closer to seeing my mistake and having stronger character because of it! Incredible. Next to his faithfulness i see progress in me. Not in a "i'm so clever and i have improved my situation in life" sort of way... more in a progress that i see things in a different way. Let's be real i have walked through some very hard times this last year. I have cried tons of tears, and in the middle of those hard spots where i cried out because of my misunderstanding i did not see the end. I did not see today. I did not see where i would be looking back on the awful situation saying, "i see God's hand and i receive it with God's grace and guiding." These last few months the main thing God has been asking me to do is get his perspective. This sounds really nice and "visionary" but when the only question you have is WHY? and WHEN? his perspective is the last thing you can grasp or understand. A year ago i did not see his perspective or even think about it that much... now it seems that everyday i am wondering what He sees when he looks at the same circumstances i am facing with a clenched jaw and a raging fist. It's not every-time, but sometimes i get a small glimpse of what he sees and then i relax, knowing that He is in control and everything is going to be alright. yes it's been a year. A long year. So much has changed and i feel like i am just starting this adventure called life.
This weekend marks a YEAR since i moved to Bend! Can you believe it??? I can =) and so here starts a series of blogs that commemorate this last year~- - - - - -Everything was New... Last April 21st i woke up to the central Oregon sun shining through my window and i realized something... from here on out everything will be New... and so it was... New Home to organize and make my own.New Church to love and find my place in.New Job to provide for my needs.New Boss(es) to tell me what to do(and what not to do.)New Friends... slowly but surely i found some friends!New enemies to inform me over & over than i loved Jesus just a little too much for their liking.New streets to Google Earth and find my way around the round-a-bouts.New coffee shops to taste and find a favorite.New gas stations, where they pump it for you... weird.. and still not used to it.New Safeways to learn where the milk and cereal are.New Parks to explore and watch the ducks.New favorite photo spots.New faces around every corner... and why did it seem (at first) that every guy was SO much cuter than the ones in Washington?????New coffee buddies.New Buttes to climb.New songs to sing.New.Everything was so new and refreshing...and sometimes scary... but mostly new.
Tim and JennyMarch 28th 2008He saw her.She saw him.They said, "hello."They went on a date.They Kissed.They called.They were an item.He proposed.She said, "YES!"They were married.Sounds pretty perfect if you ask me!
just kidding... kinda. So i recently spent a chunk of time in downtown Bend... eating Pizza, walking around, sitting in the library, drinking Starbucks, meeting with friends and enjoying the SUNSHINE! In my walking i had a thought... i was heading to Pizza Mondo and as i stepped into the cross walk crossing Franklin, a thought came to mind; What if i was the star of a movie right now? I looked around, stood a little taller, flung my hair over my shoulder, and glanced at my reflection in a car's window. What if there was a camera crew with the guys on the moving platform with a camera? I looked up at the stop light and imagined a Camera pointed at me, hanging from a robotic arm. What if all the people in these cars and doing life were extras in my show? My feet hit the sidewalk and i looked both ways... I know a smile had snuck it's way onto my face and i could tell that the guy with the dog was wondering why i was smiling. ~Psalms 139:17-18"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them;they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!"~As i began to think about my thoughts of stardom, this verse came to mind. I am a star. When i stop and place myself on the HUGE stage of history, future, forever and now; I imagine God as the Award winning director of my show. His thoughts towards me are precious! He wants me to be a star. A shining star, not with the fame and glory that this world holds as important, but shinning with the light of who HE is in me. His eye is on me like the camera hanging from a robotic arm, or on a moving platform. He is there in my movie-star moments and in my "please don't take a picture" ones. Last week i heard someone say that potential is untapped-power waiting to be unlocked. When God picked me for this 'show' He saw my potential. Then he began to give me glimpses of it. He started giving me outrageous dreams of what my life could be if i released it to His directing skills instead of trusting in my own. I realized that He sees the whole stage and so i gave up. I stopped trying to win the awards if this world and the acceptance of the "cool kids". I am focused on my director. I look to him for affirmation and acceptance. I look to Him for directing. He knows how the picture should look, and even if it's uncomfortable for me at the moment it will be something beautiful when it's complete. Only He knows how to direct people to move at the right time and sing the right note and only He has the angle on my life on one else sees. He's the director. It's His job. He knows how far to push me, He knows my limits and He knows how to comfort me when i feel lost and confused. He is the only one watching me that matters. I don't have to worry about the opinions of the people in the cars watching me cross the street or the guy with the dog wondering why i am smiling. I don't have to place my worth in people who don't encourage me or question why i am so full of life and passion. I don't have to worry about my own opinion of my insecurities. HE picked me for this show! He said, "I believe in you. I know you can do it." So if you happen upon me and i am standing a little taller, smiling a silly little smile, flinging my hair, and looking at my reflection in a car window, just know that it's not for you. It's for my director.... and most likely i just heard Him whisper, "You can do it. You can change the world. I believe in you."
I wrote a short little post the other day saying something about a verse that caught my eye during my devotions and said i would post about it... so here i am posting about it!!! Psalms 37:6"He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."
Honestly i was reading, but not taking in the meaning of anything in the first 5 verses of Psalms 37 and then out of the blue, this small sentence jumped off the page and slapped me and said, "pay attention!". So i started over at the beginning of Psalm 37 and these few verses is where i got stuck: "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."
Let's just admit it, we all LOVE verse 4"...he will give you the desires of your heart." I remember a few years ago this was the verse that held my attention. I wanted the desires of my heart, but i stuggled with the idea that i could have them and they be what the Lord wanted. The basics of verse 4 and 5 are easy to understand. Delight in the Lord and Trust in Him. living it out is where we get distracted and scatter minded. Back to verse 6. Verse 6 had a flashing light and was calling out for more attention than the others. And for the last few days it has held my attention and snuck into my thoughts and dreams. "He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."
Have you ever been awake at dawn? Better yet; have you been awake at dawn and seen the sun shine over a mountain hit the lake and seen the ducks fly away? The first light of morning is AMAZING!!! In the house i used to live in i had a window facing dead-east! Last summer was full of amazing sunrises hitting my face and telling me that the new day starts NOW! I enjoyed a lot of those sunrises hidden under my covers, my body begging for more sleep. No matter how tight i closed my eyes and how many blankets or pillows i covered my face with, the sun still snuck in! What would the world around me look like if my righteousness shone like the dawn? I don't think of myself as a righteous person. I try to be right. I see Jesus' Righteousness and strive for it. However if i am committing my way to the Lord and trusting him; then i am pursuing righteousness. If the quality of those things were the shining around me i know i would see things differently. I would surely see people in a different way and i would most likely treat them in a different way. My righteousness needs to shine so bright that people around me want the pillow over their head or the shades drawn around me. I want them to look at me and say, "wow she is different." or "what is it that makes her life so different?". Now the next part of the verse is the kicker. The Justice of My Cause... like the noonday sun! WOW. Here in Central Oregon the noonday sun can be very bright! What is the justice of my cause? What is my cause? If i have a cause is it just? If it is a just cause is it shining like the sun? How do i find the right cause? Justice? These are just a few of the questions swirling around in my head the past few days. I looked up this verse in a few commentaries and they didn't really help me out at all. I finally realized i do have a cause. It's the cause of Christ. Please don't zone out here and think i am going to be cliché. Not at all. We all are called to the cause of Christ... the trouble we have is mixing up what we want and what He wants for us. Some of us are called to that cause in Politics, some in Business, some in Entertainment, and still some in the church. Now here's where my mind doesn't quite get it all... the Justice of that cause. I know little pieces of why i am here and what God wants for my life. I know even more clearly what i am supposed to focus my cause on right now.... still the JUSTICE of that cause is what trips me up. jus·tice [juhs-tis] Pronunciation Key –noun 1. the quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness: to uphold the justice of a cause. 2. rightfulness or lawfulness, as of a claim or title; justness of ground or reason: to complain with justice. 3. the moral principle determining just conduct.
Wow.... this is from dictionary.com and it says it all. Check it out in the #1 the word righteousness is there... i think that's just neato. Are we taking what Christ has given us as a cause and making sure it is just? Or are we just holding it in our pocket and pulling it out for show? People who believe in a cause(or a new president) hold signs, mail card, buy adds, knock on doors, and make phone calls all for the sake of a "just cause". What are we doing with the cause Christ has trusted us with??? The light of the morning and the noonday sun. This is what it should be like. Both so bright. Justice and Righteousness in me compared to a BRIGHT SUN!!! I love that each of these verses bring us back to each other. They each hinge on the one above... try reading Psalm 37 backwards and you'll see what i mean. Try figuring out your cause... if it is in line... if it is His heart's desire alive in you. It will shine. You won't even know it's shining. It just will.
hey all,I just read a great blog post about my family.... and laughed a lot... check it out if you are curious about the d's from a perspective other than the very biased oldest sister!check out this link
I LOVE THIS GIRL!I just got off the phone with this amazing 11 yr old! If you haven't had the pleasure of having a conversation with this amazing girl, you are missing out!!! She is such a special chic! I can't imagine life without her, and wouldn't trade her for the stars! She is a little firecracker... and i'm so blessed that she is in my life to keep me humble, girly, and goofy! She's even a september baby....which makes her extra special.... when i turned 11 it was the best gift God could give me.... a little sis.... a roomate... a friend. I love her to the birds and back plus million and two. She is so funny. I wish everyone could know her and experiance the Joy of the Lord in this amazing 11 year old! I love how honest she is. She can pretend to be shy when you first meet her, but after 20 minutes she will be joking around, giving you a nickname, changing your age, and career path; for example my friend Heidi is now 35 and going to be president! Hosanna has a servants heart, a worshipers voice and a mind that seeks to know more about God and the big world she lives in. I pray God's protection and blessings on her always. "here's to looking at you.....(hosanna joy)"
I hopped on BibleGateway.com to do some research on a verse i found in my devotions(more on that later) today and saw that the verse of the day was this:Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
I don't even have much to say about it... partially because it by itself it amazing, and partially because i haven't had more than 5 minutes to think about it beyond WOW! So i guess at a moment other than now, i will write some insightful thoughts about this one.. and the verse from my devos that prompted this blog...
It's seems that in the past week i have cried more than i have in the past 3 months combined! When i stop and think about the tears, they fall into a few reasons/ catigories... so here they are nicely lined out:
Happy Tears. I love happy tears, mostly because; they're happy! But also the most common reason i cry happy tears is because God has in that moment whispered in my ear, spun me around, squeezed my hand or just looked at me and smiled. Last weekend was 180 Winter Camp at Wildhorse Canyon. Friday and Saturday night i had at least one of those moments each night.
Sad Tears. Not so fun. they make my contacts move around... they are hard to see through, and mostly the situations that cause them are hard to understand; -My dad has been in Ghana for 5 weeks battling for a piece of paper! My mom came home to releave us here... but the weight of the situation with her husband and kids a million miles away still ways heavy on us. Then we think they are coming, and then they are not... but others are. -I work hard and try to be wise, yet money/finaces are hard to handle. -I drive carefully and take car of my car, yet the Check Engine light still comes on and nearly makes me want to scream! -I see students love God, feel Him close, hear His voice; and they still get tricked by the enemy. They still trade the Joy of the Lord for the cheap thrills of this world. -I go the extra mile, and still fall short. -I wait (sometimes patiently) and still see nothing. -I go to buy milk, and lock my keys in my car.
Last night it was the keys locked in my car that put me over the edge. I lost it. right there in the Westside Safeway. Tears. Sad Tears. This past month has been so overwhelming. And the silly keys locked in the car were the last straw. Praise the Lord for an amazing friend(and roommate) who found my extra key in my desk and came to my rescue... and sat and prayed with my while i cried.
As i drove back to the house i am sitting(along with 4 kids and a dog). I cried. I turned the music loud and sobbed and cried out to God. I prayed so hard that my parents and new siblings would all come home together; and they didn't. I save and save and save; and still the bills are hard to pay. I pray over my car and thank God for it; and it still costs money. I cry out for students to turn back to God and they only cross their arms and frown. I go the extra mile and i still fall short. I wait and pray, and reach out for wisdom, i run after righteousness and still i feel forgotten. I go to buy milk and i lock my keys in my car.
I cry. i let the tears hit the floor. I sniffle and sob. And then i realize...
I AM. HE IS. He hears my crys. He catches my tears. He provides. He whispers my name. He heals their hearts. He knows my thoughts. He waited for me. He loves my heart. He pours out. He squeezes my hand. He unlocked my life. He IS. i am not. He is the great I AM.
After tears uncontrolable. He whispers to me; "Get my perspective. See what i see. Look beyond your small circle and see My heart. I know what's ahead. I know your desires, i see your needs. I AM and I will."
and so i look. I look ahead. I press on. I fall back on my knees i pray one more prayer. and i strain to get God's perspective. His persepective makes weeks feel like days and months feel like weeks. His perspective, makes the reward of waiting sweeter than a popsicle on a hot summer day. His perspective unlockes my life once again.
Tears. This time of happy-aweness. I'm in awe. I stand amazed. and the tears fall.
Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain
Chorus:
I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe
Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear
even when answers slowly unwind
it's my heart I see You prepare
but its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
from every finger tip, washing away my pain
The only place I can go is into your arms
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokeness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know You are near
I feel like there are so many things that these words relate to in my life right now. I'm not even sure if i can write a blog about it, because the words above do such an amazing job expressing my heart.
Lord, help me know (live/believe/hear/see/feel) You are near.
So here i sit. 11:15pm Thursday February 28th. Happy Leap Year by the way! Writing a blog.
Tonight at emerge the basis of the message was carefully and nicely written/spoken from a comment that a friend made about blogging. So therefore the message not only successfully challenged the way we think as far as life, faith and truth; it also challenged the way we write a blog. I had a lovely conversation with two of my blogging friends(check out Bo and Jessica in my links) after the message and told them about a blog i wrote a while back that i soon deleted after writing, because it was written out of Anger not Love. This of course made them curious... well lucky for them and you; i actually saved the deleted blog on my computer! So after some thought and re-writing. I have decided that the content is actually really great, and not morally wrong... without further ado:
Honesty and Authenticity: the re-write!
"Thank you for choosing Character To-Go what can i get for you today?" "I would like some Honesty with a side of Authenticity!"
If there was a restaurant type of place that you could go and order Character traits... this is for sure what i would order.... However this would be my order for some people i know.... and for myself i would get some Patience and Wisdom.
Why Honesty? Why Authenticity?
hon·es·ty –noun 1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. 3. freedom from deceit or fraud.
au·then·tic·i·ty -noun 1. The quality or condition of being authentic, trustworthy, or genuine.
Honesty is the #1 quality i look for in friends. In light of this i try and be a very honest person. My name means; Speaker of Truth. Way to go Papa and Mama... thanks for the VERY cool name! It really helps me to think about who i am and what i say. Not only in the way i talk and the content of what i say, but how i live. I try so SO SOO stinking hard to be honest and real in every situation. I am Cassie. You get what ya see when you're around me. I am not going to pretend with you. I am not going to pretend i am someone i am not. I am not going to act a certain way so you like me. I am not going to jump through hoops in order to meet some social status quo. NO WAY. I won't. I am me. Cassie. The crazy girl who runs hard after the purpose of God. I am not pretending. I'm not trying to be "super spiritual". I AM WHAT YOU SEE!! I WON"T FAKE IT! i won't.
So Please stop. Stop trying. Stop pretending with me! Stop trying so hard. Stop being so fake. Be who God created you to be. If you have to stop for too long and think about what that means... than get off your butt and go figure it out; BY YOURSELF! Stop letting the people you "hang out with" define who you are. Stop letting the way you dress and do your hair be who you are. Stop pretending you like me to my face and 2 minutes later ignore the fact that i am standing RIGHT THERE while you are planning your "hangout" and obviously are trying to not not invite me, but let's be real; you didn't want to invite me so talking in hushed tones will for sure make up for the fact that i can hear every word. Seriously people! I don't care that much if i am in your social circle! I don't! Please stop pretending. Be real. I would rather you ignore me all together out in the open. it would HONESTLY feel better.
------ Lord of Lords by Hillsongs Australia
Beholding your beauty is all I long for To worship You Jesus is my soul's desire For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure The purpose to lift your name high
Hear and surrender in pure adoration I enter your courts with an offering of praise I am Your servant come to bring you glory As is fit for the work of your hands
Chorus: Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne Be glory and honor and praise All of creation resounds with the song Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords
Verse 2: The spirit now living and dwelling within me Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face Let not the things of this world ever sway me I'll run 'till I finish the race
This song perfectly states how i feel. "i'll run till i finish the race." I will. I will run it in Honesty. I will seek out Wisdom I will walk in Patience (look it up in the dictionary and try it on for size).
I hope i didn't step on toes.... it really is WAY nicer than when i first wrote it.
I have come to the conclusion though that it is better to say some things in honesty and with real heart than to leave lots of real things un-said. Risky? oh yes. Hard? you bet. But something i also learned tonight at emerge was to not let the history of my life put conclusions on who i am... for example; in 7th grade i was at a Young Life Summer camp and one of my leaders looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Sometime you should just learn to shut up and not talk." This has stuck with me since then... what is that like 10 years? CRAZY! I can't even believe it, but in this situation i can't just shut up. I won't anymore.
Now please hear me out. I WILL choose my words and i will try VERY hard to make sure i sift what i write and say through the Jesus filter(hence the re-written blog); but i won't stay silent. I WON'T let things that need to be said go un-said. So after you have processed this blog. and re-read the re-written part one or two times... this is my challenge to you; PRAY. See how and where you might fit in this story. Are you living an honest life? Are you jumping through hoops to meet a social statue quo? Are you letting the people decide who you are and where you go? just a thought.
Today we had an adventure.... to the Top of Pilot Butte!
We decided to be very "Tom and Huck" and instead of taking the trail we just blazed a trail up the side of the Butte. We had no idea how much snow... that's right sNOW was left over from the last few "snows".... there was a lot! After a few slips and falls, mud on the fingers, shoes to tie (again) we made it to the TOP! here are some pics from the Adventure;
We are a game playing family. From Hand and Foot, Killer Bunnys, Warrior Knight to UNO we love games. On my latest adventure to Lynden me and 4 of my amazing brothers decided UNO was the game for the week. We played it a lot!!! We decided to document it with pictures! Best part about playing with siblings who love you...they let you win...well at least sometimes!
This is what happens to Elijah after to much Uno...
It seems the last post has caused some confusion... Please allow me to say a few things...
Let's review a few things from my post. The part where i say, "I MISS THIS SILLY TOWN" ... "I LOVE WHO IT SHAPED ME TO BE." ... I feel like some people may missed the whole point. I love this town. I don't understand a lot of the "cultural musts" of it and the way people treat people, and the questions i get as a person who moved away. I don't like that people turn their head sideways when i talk about my new siblings or my big family. I love the small town feel Lynden has. I love NCCTK. I love the earnestness of it as a church. I love our big BLUE house on the corner. I love that i can drive for 5 minutes and be in a different country. I love that my neighbors have a "dinner schedule" and you can guarantee when they leave and come back from the dinner date. I love that no matter who you are you get the same amazing service at Safeway and Woods. I love that when you come home you feel like a hero... if only because people miss you lots. I love that God is moving in the VERY religious town. I love that everyone takes pride in the state of the front yard. I love the tree lined streets, the lights that twinkle on the Fairway Center ALL YEAR ROUND. I LOVE LYNDEN!
I think if i did not love this town and the people in it...I would not have come back EVERY MONTH for the last 10!!!! I miss my family a heck of a lot when i am gone. I did not leave to try and get away from them. I did not leave to try and get away from my church. I did not leave because of a bad relationship. I did not leave to try to find the "perfect"; church/town/relationship. FYI- they don't exist. I love Lynden and could see myself moving back someday... not any day SOON, so don't hire me yet! But i had to move away. I had to get a perspective on life that was not confined to Lynden. I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT God's best for me was to move to Bend. I cannot say when i will be back for good. I cannot say if i will work at NCCTK again. I cannot promise you that i will live on Front street. But i will promise you this;
I will do my VERY BEST to pursue God, Pursue Righteousness, and Trust that even when i don't see the Big Picture HE DOES! And knowing that i when i listen to his voice, follow in his leading i may indeed find myself strolling down Depot Rd on the way to Lynden City Park with little kids of my own.
How odd it is to be a stranger in a place i once called home.
Lynden is a quaint town of 10,000 situated nicely on the Canadian border. Full of Dutch heritage and shops, there is no doubt that this town is full of culture. Supported mostly by the Agriculture of Dairy farms and Berry fields; there is a certain smell to the air. Boasting 2 records in the Guinness Book of World Records (most churches per capita and also Most people attending church in Lynden without living in the town) Lynden is a unique town to be sure.
I am closing in on a year of not living in this nicely situated, Agriculture rich, record holding town. This is the first time being back to visit that i feel like a stranger here... and i like it!!! I like not knowing every 3rd person at Woods Coffee (the baristas having NO IDEA THAT i used to work there!). I like going to church at NCCTK and being "just another person". I like having to process how to get somewhere and what the quickest way is. It's fun one someones says, "oh you're a Diacogiannis?"
However somethings never change; The Dutch are still out-numbering everyone else 100/1. They are all still Blond, Blue-eyed and TALL! If you are "unfortunate" enough to not be Dutch in Lynden, people still try as hard as they can to be Dutch, they dye their hair, play basketball and wear blue contacts in the vain hope that they will be accepted. I will never understand High Schoolers in Lynden. They LOVE high school so much that after they graduate they hang out "pretending" it hasn't ended. They still go to every game. They still go to Dairy Queen after "the game". They wear the "LHS" or "LCHS" sweatshirts and colors. They like high school so much that people volunteer at plays and games;FOUR YEARS LATER! If you are fortunate enough to "get out" of Lynden your choices of acceptable things to do are as follows:
Go to one of the following colleges; Dordt College; Northwestern in Iowa; SPU; Trinity Western University in B.C.
If you don't got to College you might; - Get Married a month after you graduate and have a kid 1 year later - Go to Bellingham Beauty School and work at one of the 50 Salons in Lynden's City Limits - Work Construction - Go to YWAM IN HAWAII... cause it's Hawaii and YWAM "sounds cool"
Oh Lynden. Oh the silly things that define who you are. I will admit that when i am in Bend Oregon I miss the AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL scenery here. The endless amount of Red Barns and Silos in every green field, Mt. Baker and The Twin Sisters creating the most amazing Backdrop... and the Bald Eagles that flock to Whatcom county every year for about 2 months. I miss walking anywhere i want without fear of being mugged. I miss smell of the cows... as weird as that sounds. I miss the "lame" and silly festivals that grace Lynden every few months. I miss the buzz around High School sports. I miss Woods Coffee. I miss the Trackers. And yet now, i am a stranger. A tourist; silently observing life in Lynden. I love this silly town. I love who it shaped me to be. I always stand out with my dark hair and GREEK last name. I love that although it made me who i am it doesn't define where i will go, who i can be.
Elijah, E, Monkey, 'lij.. These are just a few of the nick names we have for our youngest family member! and i'm sure more that i am forgetting. When i think about Elijah I think of a lot of great stories. The time when i lost him for over half an hour and was in hysterics; We found him hiding under the futon. Not funny. I think of his 2 missing teeth that give him the cutest little lisp. I remember all the fun times we have at Lynden City Park. I hear his little voice in the sea of people at my track meets.
The biggest memory is one that anyone who knows it will never soon forget....
It was August 2005. Hot, sweaty August. E was 3 years old and the spunkiest, most energetic 3 year old there ever was. He had a normal saturday, playing outside with his partner in crime and big brother Josiah. That night however was no normal night. I remember waking up at 2am to blood-curling screams. I awoke with a start, and was FREEZING cold. It's august people.... cold doesn't happen, even at night. I could hear Elijah crying. I thought it was probably a bad dream. I grabbed my covers and tried to sleep... about half an hour later i woke again... this time i was having the bad dream! I was in a pool of my own sweat and tears. All i could do to calm down was pray. Sunday morning finally came and life seemed fairly normal. Elijah, however had a fever and was complaining of a stomach ache. As the day went on he was either awake and crying or asleep and moaning. The next 10 days flew by... the details are clear in my head; Seattle. Children's Hospital. Bacterial Menengitas. Doctors. Nurses. Kidney Dialysis. Tubes. Medications. It was Elijah's body, but where was our little guy? Where was the laugh? Sometimes we wished we could hear a cry. After 10 days in ICU. He came through it all.
2 months later, my mom and the kiddos were driving through Seattle and my mom mentioned that the hospital was down "that way". Elijah piped up from his car seat and said, "yeah, i was at the Hospital with Jesus." And though we always knew that we felt the presence of God those crazy 3 weeks at Children's we now wondered what Elijah could mean.
Over a year later Josiah and Elijah were discussing death... Yes we have very deep thinkers for a 7 and 5 year old =) Elijah mentioned "casually" that he had died twice, gone to Heaven, Talked to Jesus, and Jesus had told him that it was ok and that it was time for him to "go home to Dad and Mom". when we asked Elijah what Jesus looked like he very plainly told us, "He was bright and shiney."
I have no idea what God has planned for this little Treasure, but i know it's big. Elijah is our miracle brother. He has seen Jesus. He faced death. Today he is back to our very energetic 6 year old who loves GI Joes, Lego.com, and anything related to computers! He loves to play outside, ride his bike... play football. His laugh is amazing. His smile melts everyones heart. The scars from the Menengitas are the only things remaining from that hot August sickness. The stories of how God moved go on and on. The stories of his healing will never be forgotten.
Elijah Joel, God's plan for you are so huge. I'm excited to see them unfold.
So for the next little while... i am going to write posts dedicated to some of my favorite people in the world. Let's get started with my #1 real life Superhero....
Gregory James Diacogiannis
Romans 8:35-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." This is Gregg. Greggy-pooh, Greekkid31, my brother. I am so blessed. When i was little i didn't have any idea how blessed i am to have such a guy in my life. He has been my protector and hero for as long as i can remember. He has never been afraid of what people think. He is one of the most passionate people i know. He puts his whole heart into everything he does. When he joined the ARMY i was so scared for him. I had know idea that 4 years later he would be where he is. Doing all the amazing things he is doing. He has recently started a blog(see link over there -->) and it has been so wonderful to hear his heart. One of my favorite things ever is seeing someone surrender to God and see where He takes them. Gregg has gone so many places and done so many things but i believe this is only the beginning of what God has planned for him. He is "more than a conqueror" He has overcome everything the Enemy has thrown at him and will continue to battle life out... on his knees and with the amazing perseverance and strength God has given him.
So here's to real life heros. Here's to Gregg. My brother, My hero, My friend.
Can i just say i am really really happy that the Giants Won!!!!
Anyone who knows me knows i LOVE football!!! Even more than that i love a GREAT game!!! This years Super Bowl was packed with amazing plays, heart stopping moments, and guts! I have this thing with Underdogs coming in and playing their hearts out!!! Hooray for Eli Manning and the hole team!!!!! Eli sure proved he can play with the big boys!! I'm sorry Tom Brady, but you got worked! The Giants defense was incredible. Major props to the linemen who pushed the limit when it came to attacking the Quarterback! Woot-woot! I will say that Welker sure had sticking power when it came to catching that ball, but sure enough right there were the Giants to push, pull, drag, knock him to the ground! Amazing.
If there was a place you could go and order Character traits... and not just for your self, but for others as well... this is for sure what i would order.... However this would be my order for some people i know.... for myself i would for sure get some Patience and Wisdom. =)
Why Honesty? Why Authenticity?
hon·es·ty –noun 1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. 3. freedom from deceit or fraud.
au·then·tic·i·ty -noun 1. The quality or condition of being authentic, trustworthy, or genuine.
Honesty is the #1 quality i look for in friends. In light of this i try and be a very honest person. My name means; Speaker of Truth. Way to go Papa and Mama... thanks for the VERY cool name! It really helps me to think about who i am and what i say. Not only in the way i talk and what i say, but how i live. I try so SO SOO stinking hard to be honest and real in every situation. I am Cassie. You get what ya see when you're around me. I am not going to pretend with you. I am not going to pretend i am someone i am not. I am not going to act a certain way so you like me. I am not going to jump through hoops in order to meet some social status quo. NO WAY. I won't. I am me. Cassie. The crazy girl who runs hard after the purpose of God. I am not pretending. I'm not trying to be "super spiritual". I AM WHAT YOU SEE!! I WON"T FAKE IT! i won't. So Please stop. Stop trying. Stop pretending with me! Stop trying so hard. Stop being a fraud. Be who God created you to be. And if you have to stop for too long and think about what that means... than get off your butt and go figure it out; BY YOURSELF! Stop letting the people you "hang out with" define who you are. Stop letting the way you dress and do your hair be who you are. Stop pretending you like me to my face and 2 minutes later ignore the fact that i am standing RIGHT THERE while you are planning your "hangout" and obviously are trying to not not invite me, but let's be real; you didn't want to invite me so talking in hushed tones will for sure make up for the fact that i can hear every word. Seriously people! I don't care that much if i am in your social circle! I don't! Please stop pretending. Be real. ignore me all together out in the open. it would HONESTLY feel better. You are a FRAUD and you don't know who you are without your "social high".
------ Lord of Lords by Hillsongs Australia
Beholding your beauty is all I long for To worship You Jesus is my soul's desire For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure The purpose to lift your name high
Hear and surrender in pure adoration I enter your courts with an offering of praise I am Your servant come to bring you glory As is fit for the work of your hands
Chorus: Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne Be glory and honor and praise All of creation resounds with the song Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords
Verse 2: The spirit now living and dwelling within me Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face Let not the things of this world ever sway me I'll run 'till I finish the race
this song perfectly states how i feel. "i'll run till i finish the race." I will. I will run it in Honesty. I will seek out Wisdom I will walk in Patience (look it up in the dictionary and try it on for size).
Yesterday was a day filled with all sorts of thoughts. Some very Happy. and some that just made me mad!.... here are a few i thought i could share with the blogging world.
"Head over Heels in Love" So in thinking about this statement i began to realize that it is a VERY interesting statement. If i were wearing heels(it's rare, but been done)my head would already be "over my heels"... so what does this mean? If it was "crazy" love you would think it would be "Heels over Head" as if someone were doing a backflip in heels. I have come to the conclusion that it must mean you have your senses about you. You know what this Love is. You are standing (in heels) and you know which way is up and where you want to be and go. I for sure think it has it's moments of backflips, but then you land and you are back to the beginging. HEAD OVER HEELS! I can say for sure i am only head over heels for Jesus. I know what my love means. I know what his cost, and i'm willing to go forward with this relationship. No Matter what! sometimes however... i wish i could do a backflip in heels for him! He sure is AMAZING!
"Did you ever Die?" This is my shout out to Corey Parnell. Last night at emerge he was talking about endurance and Hoopamonie (it's greek) and was giving an example about someone who can pole vault. He asked if anyone had ever done it.. and i have so up went my hand. Evedently i was the only one in the room who had. Corey turns and looks at me and says, "Cassie you pole vaulted? Did you ever die?" I was laughing so hard! By the fact that i am sittig here writing this blog and was at emerge...Pole Vaulting did NOT steal my life!
"Make sure it's Eberhards 2%" This was a startling moment for sure. I am house sitting and hanging out with 2 high school girls. Last night as i headedout the door to Safeway for Milk, one of the girls hollered out the door after me, "Make sure it's Eberhards 2%" Upon getting to the Dairy Dept. I was hit with a choice; spend $1.26 more on a gallon of milk just so it's got a green cap and a cartton cow on it, or just save the $1.26 and buy the "general brand". Seriously does it matter? So what did i do? grabbed one gallon of Eberhards and one of "Dairy Glen" and compared the Table of Contents with my dear friend Heidi. GUESS WHAT? THEY have THE EXACT EXACT same thing inside; MILK. All the grams of Fat, Sodiem, Colesteral, Carbs.... exactly the same... all the words i can't spell or pronouse that make up the process it goes throug between udder and Safeway.... exaclty the same! SO WHAT THE HECK IS THE DEAL?????? I bought the "Dairy Glen" Milk and head for home, knowing a volcano would for sure erupt when the girs saw that i had not bought the name brand. Bummer. Sure enough i was right. So here's what i did. Poured milk from the Dairy Glen into one glass and some from the Eberhards into another; time for a taste test. Unfortunatly they wouldn't even taste it. SOOOO it was time for Babysitter Gone Wild; I emptied the last of the Eberhards from the container and poured the whole gallon of Dairy Glen into the empty Eberhards containter!!! Yes. Yes i did. You should have seen the look on "Sally's" Face (name changed)!! Horror. I then returned to the taste testing. I had just taken a sip of milk and 'Sally' asks "Did you stop for Margerita's on your way home? What are you snortting." of course i busted up laughing. Milk went everywhere. Out my nose. Out my mouth. And EVERYWHERE on the floor. In conclusion; Milk is Milk. It does the body good. However it does hurt coming out the nose.
have a GREAT day.
OH and Happy Birthday Carissa and Lindsey; My Best Friends and AMAZING SISTERS!
I wish i could paint a picture of this morning in Backporch. Perhaps brown would be the color for the coffee, blue for the sky i see out the window, white for the snow on the ground and the 4* weather outside. Yellow and red would help discribe the conversations i am overhearing and purple could be the color of laughter. There are about 25 people in here this morning; all of whom are sitting in little groups, drinking coffee and chatting about this and that. There is a gentleman and lady sitting directly behind me.They are not talking. He is reading the newspaper, evedant by the "krinkle-krinkle" of the pages turning... and i think she is reading a book. Towards the counter there is a group of 5 "older" ladies probably in their50s and 60s but then again i am not good at guessing ages; They discuss Disneyland(one has never been), skiing, churches, and dogs. The 2 young ladies to my right are friends from church.They are talking about the reality of life, changes and struggles. There are 2 guys sitting at one of the tall tables discussing real estate.
Lauhing. Someone keeps laughing.
I hear the quiet "hmmmmmm" of the coffee machine, the "pshhhhh" of the steam wand and the "WAAAAAANNNNN" of the esspresso grinder. The random clinking of cups and sausers. Oh and the music. Ever so often the music comes into focus and i hear the jazz/indie/ "backporch" music. Right now it's more like a fading noise.
Noise. When i stop listening to the specifics it all becomes Noise. ssshhh pppsss ttsshsssmm hmmm wannna krinkle swish muus ha ha ha ha kolk hmmmm. Just Noise.I love Backporch in the morning. I love the noise and craziness. The frantic seach for a table for 2.
Oh Bachporch.......
An hour later;
The newspaper man and lady have been replaced by 2 ladies drinking the uncommon and small 8oz drinks and talking about "carma". They "older" ladies have been replaced by a younger man in a business suit and his friend in jeans and a North Face jacket... they speak to hushed to hear. My 2 friends have been replaced by a young mother, her baby and possible the grandma. They are talking about life as moms. The guys discussing real estate at the tall table have been replaced by 2 other friends. I can't hear what they are talking about, but they are smiling. The music is more in the background than it has been all morning.
Another hour later;
A friend has joined me. All other conversations and noise is now a backdrop to an amazing conversation. We talk about so much! Single living and the pluses and minuses. Dreams and desires. Churches and "un-churches". Brothers and Sisters. Moms and Dads. Tears. We share our crying stories. Movies. JUNO and PS I LOVE YOU. REality. We talk about real things. deep things. The working of God in our lives and how far we have each come since moving to Bend. We laugh out loud at a very funny video she recieved in an email.
Before either of us realize another hour has passed. I look around and realize that there are now more emtpy tables than taken ones. The "WANNNNN" of the espresso grinder is the loudest noise by far. And the music is... funny? Hard to discribe the music, but i laugh when i hear the song that is playing. Not because of the words, but because of the sound. As i gather up my things to leave i sigh... oh Backporch.
Snuffleupagus. yup that's what it says. Snuffles, Snuffy, Snuffleupagus. this is my newly dubbed nickname, and i am quite fond of it. Mostly because it's hard to say with out smiling! Oh wait did i just say "hard to say"? weird cause that's how i got the nickname... so here's the story;
I love my last name and over the years i have defiantly enjoyed some funny spellings and pronunciations of it. At track meets, baseball games, college classes, and other random events the was guaranteed to be a laugh from the D family when the announcer got ready to say it! It's a great name. It's quite a name. D-I-A-C-O-G-I-A-N-N-I-S. It's pronounced more like this Dee-yakie-anis, but not so harsh. Well most people have a hard time saying it until they practice. Spelling it is the real test. Diacogiannis. It's easy to me. I've spelled it at least 1,000,000 times in my life and I'm sure there will be many many more; D- as in dog, i- as in ice, a- as in apple moments in my life. When i stepped in to 180 HS ministry Casey(youth Pastor) was determined to not only say it right but spell it as well. After only a little while he had it down, spelling and all. Props to Casey. However for some reason he and a few other staff member continued to call me things like, Asodofolous, Hippopotamus, Deahwhatever etc. It was consistently a different name until one day; i was walking down the YLD staff hallway and someone said, "Hey Snuffleupagus!" and not a few moments later someone else said the same thing!!!! I thought, "hmm thats interesting, the same nickname in a matter of moments." Coincidence? oh no. Casey had found the BEST substitute for Diacogiannis and was determined to make sure it stuck... and it has! I am even linked on a friends blog as "Snuffleupagus".
If you would like to hear more about my amazing name sake and his Sesame Street days.. check out this link(thanks Joann); http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloysius_Snuffleupagus
ex·cite·ment[ik-sahyt-muhnt]–noun 1.an excited state or condition. 2.something that excites. 3.the feeling of lively and cheerful joy; "he could hardly conceal his excitement when she agreed" [syn: exhilaration]
this is me in a moment of excitment:
i'm not sure why this is the word that fascinates me tonight, but it is. I assume some think I can be a fairly overexcited person; however, I love to laugh, to see others laugh, to be HONESTLY surprised and see the amazing, often unexpected blessings God gives us.
So come on people, lets get Excited. God is good. His mercies are NEW every morning and He hasn't forgotten about us!!! His timing is PERFECT, His love is NEVER-Ending, He DANCES over us and meets ALL our needs! What a GREAT God we have, what's NOT to get EXCITED ABOUT?!?!?
Yes i know you are all wondering what i am opening in the picture... but let's have some fun; leave a comment and GUESS!!!
***Mom, Dad, Carissa, Lindsey and other family members who were there... please don't give it away!***
I love my little; Jacob, Sarah and Rachel and i have yet to meet them.... check it out... don't you just want to hang out with these amazing people?!??!?!??
i am so eager to meet them.
Please Jesus, let things go smooth and sail quickly from here on out! Amen.
Goodbye 2007 Let's start this post by reviewing 2007 and all the great things that happened!
January: -Confirmation that i was indeed going to move to Bend Oregon -The Edge had over 100 students on a Wednesday night!!! woot-woot! -North County Christ the King Annual Kid's Ministry All nighter= 194 kids! -I gave my notice at NCCTk; i'm moving! So many tears at the staff meeting and with all The Edge students! February: -Happy Valentines Day to me; I spent a lot of money on myself, and got a new Car!!!! Oh how i love my 1999 Honda Passport in top-notch condition with only 88,000 miles on it!!!! -lots of prayer about moving to Bend; main question= timing? March: -Visit Bend to find a job and place to live!!!! Red Robin hired me without so much as an interview! -Came home from Bend and told everyone the news; I'm Moving in A MONTH! April: -packing, shopping, packing -goodbye parties at Church, the Edge and a surprise from Lindsey at home!!!! -April 20th; the cars loaded(to the max) and we are off to Bend!!!! -April 21st first weekend at Westside! -April 23rd Start work at Red Robin May: -Emerge Spring retreat! -Summer at red Robin in full swing!!! crazy business June: - Jeremiah, Tim, Matt and Jared come for a visit! July: -Adventures with Hood River begin! Happy Fourth of July! -CRC with my family! August: lots more Hood River Adventures, including but not limited too: falling off a cliff, breaking my foot, being "stuck" in HR for 8 days! - Coure d' Alene Lake in Idaho with my family! -home to Lynden for 2days - my car hits the 100,000 mile mark! - Gregg comes home for a visit! September: -Happy Birthday too me! 22 years young!!!! -searching for a new place to live! -loving Bend Oregon all the more -my first Above the Noise Concert! October: -New Roommates and life in apartments! -Jump into 180 high school ministry -Start serving at Red Robin November: -Happy Thanksgiving! CRC with my family! -LOVE LOVE LOVING 180!!!!! December: -Merry Christmas... home to see the family a week before!
This weekend my dear-sweet-amazing sisters visited from Lynden for the first time!!! Carissa and Lindsey are two of the most precious people i know! They have these hearts... that are HUGE!!!!
Carissa. Is the older of the 2 by 7 minutes. She speaks Spanish almost fluently and when she returns from Argentina i'm sure she won't remember English =) Her heart has been moved in Compassion for the Latin American culture for years. And when i say moved... i am pretty sure her heart sits in her stomach and aches to see Hope and Freedom come to a people locked up in hopelessness and fear. She came to Red Robin and pretty much just chatted it up with all "the guys". . . i have on idea what they talked about other than the fact that i DON"T speak spanish... but it sure was fun watching her love people through language
Lindsey. Lou- Lou = Soft Heart. She is so sensitive to the things that move the heart of God. This last year has been a whirlwind of growth and challenge for Lindsey, but through it all she Stands firm in Jesus... pressing into what He wants to teach her. Even though she is not going to Argentina for 6 months. Linds also has a HUGE love for the Latino culture... all those years of working in the berry fields have given her an eye for those who seem "hidden" from America, yet help us stand. She also was so fun to watch speaking Spanish with my buddies at the Bird.
Even though it was a SHORT FAST weekend, i am SO glad that they got to be here to experience my life in Bend. They came to Westside, Red Robin, Backporch, Safeway, Jonny Carino's... all my favorite places! And everywhere we went people asked if we were related... "no we just look alike." it was a lot of fun.
As we get closer to 2008 I feel i must post some notes pondering all the things that have happened in my life in 2007... so on Christmas Eve at 1:39 am ... here is my first post in such regard. Here is my little "article" i wrote for our family New Years Letter!!!
I sat down to write this years part of the Diacogiannis Dispatch and started by reading over my journals from the last year or so. I love looking back at 1 year and seeing all the things God has brought me through. It is overwhelming at times; His Grace, Faithfulness and Love.
As most of you know I am living and breathing different air then the rest of my family. I moved down to Bend Oregon on April 20th full of excitement and anticipation of the plans God had for me in this new place. Little did I know or imagine the adventure that lay ahead of me. The story that brought me to Bend is far to long to be held within the pages of this New Years letter. I will do my best to condense this adventure I have been on in a few short paragraphs.
I was hired at Red Robin a month before the move, so I started work 2 days after moving here. Going from full-time ministry at North County Christ the King to Red Robin was so strange. I was not at all prepared for the people, lifestyles and lack of God in that place. On the flipside I was not prepared for the boldness and kindness of the Christians in the very same place! Red Robin soon became a big part of my life. Over the summer I worked 40+ hours a week and loved every minute of it.
Westside Church is my second or third home depending how you look at it. There is my house… the place I sleep and am writing this, there is The Bird were I spend lots of hours a week serving people Smiling Burgers and Bottomless Fries, and then there is my Church. The move to Westside has been the hardest, most rewarded thing I have ever done. After 6 months of tears, prayers, walks with Jesus asking and searching for the reason why I was brought to this place; I felt His releasing into a new ministry and passion. I am now the Lead of Connections for Oneighty. Oneighty is the High School Ministry at Westside and if I didn’t have bills to pay I would spend so much more time there with the amazing team of leaders and Pastors. My goal in Oneighty is to be the bridge between being a “newbie” and “in the family”. I LOVE High Schoolers. They are on such a different planet than most of us, but what they need most is the Love of Christ poured into their lives in a tangible way. This is the goal of Oneighty. I could go on and on… just ask me in person sometime… and be prepared to see the fireworks in my eyes and the spring in my step increase as I talk about the things God is doing in the young lives of Central Oregon!
Grace. Faithfulness and overwhelming love. These are the things that sum up my last year. Grace from all of those who watched me do the craziest thing of my life. Faithfulness that only comes from my Father in Heaven and overwhelming Love from both. I am so blessed. I know where I’m at. I have a piece of the future in mind and I know that my Jesus will be with me every step of the way. He hasn’t let go of my hand yet, but keeps encouraging me to trust Him, and so here I sit; Trusting in the One I can’t see but I know is real. Believing for a destiny and living a life that was not in my plans, but my greatest joy is knowing that I AM right where God wants me. May each one of you find this joy in your life. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Bend Oregon.
This weekend I went to Lynden... and if you are reading this and didn't get to see me while i was there... it's cause it was a super quick trip. Sorry.
I took my "adopted" little sis from Bend home to meet the family! Paige and i had quite the adventures. We jumped into Canada... literally. Check out the slide show!
While we were in Lynden North County Christ the King(my old stomping grounds) opened it's NEW Worship Center. It was so amazing to be back not only at my old church, but old job... life... and seeing a HUGE DREAM fulfilled. It was so amazing to be standing in a Miracle. I walked in the door to the new Commons (foyer) and just took a moment and praised the Lord. When i moved, i had no idea i would be able to be at the opening weekend for such an amazing moment!
WE also celebrated Christmas a little bit early. Since i won't be going home for Christmas this year, we opened presents to and from me and Papa and Mama gave us our new ornaments. I'll post those pics soon... my camera battery died... But I got a ton of AWESOME stuff. My kitchen is all tooled up for baking/cooking!!! hooray!
On the way home Paige and i had one last adventure... sliding into a Snow Drift!!!! I have never "spun out" before... so i kinda had a WOW moment... but no tears, screams or anything... we just looked at each other and said, "chains?" We hadn't put them on yet =) Much to our joy a very kind man stopped... and he had a shovel. Who carries a shovel in there truck?? He dug us out, showed me how to work my four wheel drive and then gave us a shove out of the snow!!! We got back on the road and praised the Lord for protection and Safety.... no one was behind us or coming towards us!!!! it was totally amazing!
Christmas is just 7 days away. I hope you have your focus on JESUS, and the JOY of his birth! What an amazing time of year this is! Joy+lots of it= Joyness!
Today is a very Happy day for me... yes it's true; I am sitting at my desk, typing on my computer, uploading my photos... with MY INTERNET CONNECTION!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas to me... that's all i'm giving myself... internet.... the connection to the world around me...
i'm not sure i have been missed though... due to the lack of comments... i'm not even sure people read this silly thing....oh welll.... I still love blogging... Funny thoght; my mom is a professional Blogger... she blogs WAY more than me and is always updating pictures, adding slideshows, and linking more blogging friends to her blog. WAY TO GO MOM!!!
Life in Bend Oregon has been AMAZING since i last wrote. God is so so so so faithful. I am LOVING ministry in Oneighty High School. It rocks my tuesdays and sundays!!!! I am super involved in the Connections area... making sure students are not left out on the fringe. It is totally amazing and i am so excited to see 180 grow and be a place High schoolers from around Bend can call family. Last week we had a staff VS Varsity girls Volleyball match/game it was incredible.
Thanksgiving was AMAZING as usual. CRC is defiantly one of my most favorite places ever.
I can't believe it's been so stinkin LONG!!!! Oh how i miss blogging!!!
Do you ever wonder what life was like before the INTERNET??? The thought has crossed my mind here and there... but this past month and a little bit has been amazing!!! and weird!!! I didn't realize how much i use the World Wide Web until i had to live without it!!! You see i have this AMAZING new living situation, but we don't have internet at our house...and since i have a 21" imac, going to a coffee shop to use the internet is rare... I did actually yake it to Backporch once... but i was desprate, and that's when i DID have internet at my old house! So here i sit... houssitting and enjoy the internet at my fingertips!!! glory. but tomorrow... i'm back to a life of random friends computers... and checking email on occasion. Once i do get internet where my computer is... then i will for sure be adding pictures from my last month and a bit and updating as often as my little heart desires, but for now; This will have to do.
Life in Bend Oregon is as exciting as always!!! I LOVE my new apartment and my roomates are great!!!
Work; Since this is where i spend most my time. Red Robin aka The Dirty Bird is a GREAT. I am really learned a lot about what it means to "walk out your faith". I can preach my heart out, but if i am not consistantly living(every day) what i am "preaching" i've got nothing. Sometimes i feel like the non- Jesus lovers are watching me. Just waiting to see what i will do... if i will fail. They love to try and push my buttons; to see if i will ever get mad to the point of exploding. It's been a challenge in someways not to just give up hope for these people. But i know no one else is praying for some of them and if i don't no one will... and then their hope would be lost. So i keep praying... and living as consistant as possible... and just lovin' on 'em. Trying to see them with Jesus eyes and love them with God's heart. I wish they would "just get it".... but it's a battle not easily won. And so back to my knees i go.
Church; I LOVE MY CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!! Emerge is averaging about 120m a week!!!!! It is simply amazing!!!! I wouldn't miss a Thursday night if my rent bill depended on it!!!!! I am volunteering in High School Ministry now... 180 (www.180bend.com) pretty much is amazing. I love it so much. On Tuesday night we had a prayer and worship night.... with 3 prayer focuses and then worship mixed in all over the place. I was telling somone the other day that it should be illegal how much i love pouring my life into these student's lives. I think sometimes i am more blessed by watching them grow then they are by me being there. =) Mostly i just want kids to see that life in Christ is SO much better(John 10:9-10) than life for this world and this now. It's also great working with so many of my students at The Bird.... or they all come in and hang out. =)
Future; God's will be done in my life AMEN!!!! I keep seeking wisdom...searching out right living.... and pressing into what God' perfect will is for my life... and i keep going back to my blog entry entitled; The Will of God.... check it out if you haven't.... i believe i wrote it in July.
May the Light of Christ grow brighter and brighter as you run the race He has called you to! I pray that you would experiance more of him everyday and that you would never tire of His Adventure!!!
Don't waste a moment... don't watch your life go by... you only have NOW... live the best Life of your Life... it's all you got.... seize the moment!!! Live for more.
Um it's 2 am and i am WIDE awake... not like a little awake... WIDE awake... and i worked 9 hours yesterday....or today since i haven't gone to sleep yet... how is that even possible?.... oh my I just had a *yawn*.... but still no droopy eyes...
oh my another *yawn*.... this is a good sign... now what was i going to write about... hmmmm.... oh yea....
i'm moving! not far... at all... actually less than 400 meters from where i sit is my new bedroom!!!! and my two new roomates who are probably fast asleep, like normal people... oh another *yawn*... in any case; I am really really excited to be moving in with Kristin and Meagen. They both go to my church. Basically i will be saving about 300 dollars a month on rent! Praise the Lord!!! i am so in awe! *yawn*
let's see what else... i got pulled over on my way home from work tonight. I have a head light out... which bites, cause the Jiffy Lube guys said they changed my bulb. Which basically means they put in the wrong kind of light... The Police man was really nice.... even with me and my Washington plates and licence! =) I should change that... i need a "perminate" address though... hmmm.... *yawn*... oh how the thoughts get random this late at night.....
Did the Mariners win tonight??? Last i saw when i left work it was 4-3 Cleveland... or whoever they were playing....
*yawn*--- wow that's a lot of yawning for not being able to fall asleep.... perhaps back to the cozy bed i will go... *yawn*
bless you .... whoever you are that read this silly thing.
PS- i am very excited = Above the Noise+Wednesday/Tomorrow/Today.
Romans 8:31-32 "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"
Just take each thought and ponder it... and maybe pull out your Bible and check out the few verses before this... and it will put this in more context.... but for real:
IF GOD IS FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US????
what a thought, God, the one who created the whole world, gave his Son for us, loves us through our crap IS FOR ME!???!?!?!?
If you are reading my blog for the first time you will not have missed much as of late, however if you are a returning "blogger" you will notice that this is the first blog in much to long! In short: My adventure with God has been indescribable! So this will be effort to show what the last 2 months have been like...by pictures and short stories! Hip-hip horray!
I went home to Lynden July 13-16 and went to Chad and Trina's wedding...
Christian Renewel Center- One of the most dear places to my heart! I ended up being there a lot more than i had planned, but it was much fun! God always does amazing, prophetic, challenging things in my when i am at CRC.. and this time was no different! My dear friends Jon and Ann Dunagan where the speakers... they are also my extended family in Hood River Oregon... more on that later! My amazing sisters and myself.... yes we look like triplets! Lindsey and me... getting ready to jump from behind a waterfall! yahoo! I didn't take this picture, but it was on my camera... Uriah and Tim diving in! Next I had the amazing blessing of being able to spend an evening with my "Indian-African" Family. When i was in Africa in 2005 i became very close to my host family. Sam and Vicky grew up in the slums of south India and God brought them to himself and together and they have an amazing heart for the Wolof people of West Africa. When i returned to the USA i soon realized it would be very unlikely that i would see Sam, Vicky, Jeshu and Debbie on this earth again! Much to my heart's delight I spent the evening on Aug 3rd with them! Debbie Joy was just barely 1 when we were in Africa and now she is all grown up and very sweet! August 4 2007~ Caleb Wilson and Sarah Nelson Caleb and Sarah were on my YWAM DTS and we could never have guessed the They would be married 3 years later!!! But we are all so glad they are!
August 5-7~ Lost Lake Campout! Covenant Christian Hood River has become my second church family!!! I LOVE them so much!!! The church campout was a great end to a fabulous weekend! I was only back in Bend for 5 days before i went back to Hood River for 3 days to help with VBS... well 3 days turned into a week!!!! VBS was great i had a little team of ten 1-3th grade boys! They were soooo much fun!
On Tuesday August 14th, my life changed... forever. I went cliff jumping... well at least that was the plan. I had heard about The Pocket a lot from the Dunagans and heard it is SO much fun. Totally safe and SO much fun! I've been cliff jumping before, so i was up for anything. But no matter how many times your have jumped before it is always a little nerve wracking to stand with toes on the edge....looking down 30 feet into the green, cold water! Sure enough my case of nervousness almost cost me my life. When i went to jump it seemed as though my feet wanted to stay where they were, thus sending me straight down, instead of jumping out! I remember thinking, "wow i'm going to hit rock!" and "What's going to happen?" Nest thing i know i am trying to breath and all i get is big gulps of water! My whole body wast screaming in pain, but nothing would come out of my mouth. My contacts were moving around on my open eyes, and the water was dark and cold. when i surfaced i knew Patrick had jumped in to pull me out, but i could barely gasp for air before going under again... this time i felt him grab my arm and pull me out... i was trying to breath and understand what just happened... The other guys who were they thuoght for sure i was broken everywhere... but only my left leg was bleeding and bruised! When they asked me what hurt... i said "EVERYTHING!" but amazingly when i stood up and started moving, only my ledt foot hurt!!! nothing else.... i knew my muscles would be sore the next day or two, but my foot only hurt if i put pressure on it...It was swelling right away! I was convinced it wasn't broken...and after the guys graciously prayed for me and took me home to the Dunagans i went about the rest of my afternoon and evening. It wasn't until the next day that i was conviced to go to the ER and get x-rayed. Turns out my foot was broken.... but a very small "easy to fix" type of break! yay! i recieved a small-not-so-fashionable blue "shoe" to wear for the next 3-6 weeks! It was very scary, and I know God has a plan for my life!!! Patrick and Daniel Dunagan thought i was going to be hurt MUCH MUCH worse than i was, so we are all praising the Lord that i am not! here's the pics.... This is my leg and bruises about a week later: This is my little diagram of the cliff... yes i went back 4 weeks to the day after the fall of my life!
I stayed in Hood River for week because i could not work, and then took me, my broken foot, and crutches to Cour De Alene Lake in Idaho to celebrate my parents 25th wedding anniversary! Yup, i have put 12,000 miles on my car since Feb. 14th!!!!! Josiah loved riding in the boat! Lindsey skied for me, since i could do much of anything except lay in the sun... bummer i know! The view from the deck!
After Cour De Alene... i still wasn't supposed to work...so Lynden got to see me again. I enjoyed Woods Coffee everyday at leadt once a day, and got to chill with my older brother Gregg who was on vacation from Iraq! YAY for our American Hero! Once i was back in Bend i got right at it and went back to life at Red Robin! Not as crazy as before, but i got a few new nick-names including,but not limited to; Hobbles, Hop-a-long, Gimpy, Gimpster...you get the idea! The glorious RR outfit!
After a week and a half i thought i needed a break =P so i went up to Puyallup and DID the Puyallup Fair with most of my family and then just got to love on them and some close friends for a couple days... and then back to Hood River i went to celebrate my 22nd birthday!!!! That's right i am 22 years young, and loving every moment of it!
And that my friend brings us up to date on the details of cassie's July, August and begining of September 2007! It was most definatly one of the most amazing summers of my life!!! I feel like i lived in the "greenhouse" affect of growth!!! God has taught me so much, i have laughed, cried, prayed and smiled at this adventure i am on. I am so thankful for all the prayers and encoraging words. Thanks! here is the quote of the moment;
"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every moment you believe to be the will of God." -- Jim Elliot
and that's that. Laugh out loud. Smile for real. Enjoy the moment. Live Passionatly. Listen to the Music loud. Love More. Dance. Sing. Clap. Whatever you do be all there! I have a friend who says this, "have the best Life of your life." and that's the truth. Make today great, pursue God's Best...
Hmm... It seems that it has been a while since i last wrote... very interesting.
Life in Bend is wonderful... let's assume that unless i post with tears and gnashing of teeth that Cassie is LOVING life in Bend Oregon and is so enjoying this adventure with God... putting the puzzle of life together! Way awesome...that's all i have to say on that note!
Work is going great. I am loving "The Dirty Bird" more and more. =) I work with a great group of fun upbeat people, and lots that go to my church! woot-woot! If you are an eater who treats your tastebuds to Red Robin, but sometimes get in a rut and only order "that one thing that I always get"... let me challenge you to eat outside the box next time you treat your tastebuds to RR... the menu really is full of wonder and awe... and silly side comments about the menu items...so check it out and be amazed!
Happy Birthday America!!! I realized that i didn't ever mention that i had an AMAZING 4th of July in Hood River Oregon with some family friends who let me be apart of their family fun! I was in a parade( yay Hood River), went to a GREAT church BBQ and outreach, heard some amazing music(www.rescueministries.com), worshiped the LORD AND of course watched the fireworks! Enjoy the pics!
I had a vacation!!! gasp and rejoice-- that's what i did! I went "home" to Lynden for a few days! Things that make the Diacogiannis home AMAZING: -Papa D's waffles...with strawberries! -snuggling with the next avalible little D brother or sister! -sleeping in until you smell the waffles... -playing every card game invented; ~BLINK ~ Uno ~ War ~ Go Fish ~ Nertz ~ Hand and Foot -laughing so hard you cry... at the dinner table... -having the most RANDOM disscussions at the dinner table =) -taking walks around Lynden -EXPERIANCING THE LOVE OF CHRIST IN A FAMILY WHO NO MATTER WHAT LOVES YOU... even if we get in "fights" which actually doesn't happen too much!
I also went to a wedding, went to Woods Coffee 900 times, visited my old church (yay NCCTK phase #1 done!), and got to catch up with lots of amazing friends!
This is me and Hosanna(lil sis) Dancing to "Fly Me to the Moon" at our friends wedding!
Welp, that about recaps my life in July so far.... blessings as you seek HIS will for your life!
These are the 4 precious children that God has placed in our lives! My parents are AMAZING and are in the process of adopting Victor(12), Lydia(10), Rachel(10) and Sarah(6 ?) from West Africa! WE are all thrilled and so excited to see how this all happens! Our prayer is that our new brother and sisters will be here by Thanksgiving! Please be in prayer that the process is not drawn out longer than it should. Victor, Rachel and Sarah are siblings and Lydia is getting 13 in one package deal! how awesome is that?!?!?!? Yes my parents already have birthed and are raising 10 AMAZING children for the Lord, but these precious ones would be a gift from the Lord for our family. We don't divide Love at our house we multiply it!
i'll keep you all updated on how things are going! Life here in Bend is wonderful! Hot, but wonderful! God's never ending kindness is incredible!
Hey hey hey! last week i got to spend all day in Portland with my "little" brother Jeremiah! He is an amazing dude...and i'm so lucky to have him as a brother and best friend.... Portland was an adventure to be had for sure! We walked from Pioneer Park to The Old Spaghetti Factory... it's only about 2.5 miles, but there are a few freeways between the two....yes, we walked on the freeway, but only for .2 miles so it wasn't that bad, except that i was wearing a skirt and flip-flops...and the "sidewalk" is not on Portland's City Works Dept. "to do" list.... so therefore i got a few scraps from the bushes that were trying to force us onto the freeway into the path of speeding cars.... it was crazy! But oh so much fun!!! and i got my phone fixed, so i can have longer than 5 minute phone conversations! yay for Verizon!
enjoy some pics of me and my crazy brother....we wanted to take pictures of us walking on the freeway, but thought that might be dangerous =)
"Forgiveness is a decision I make to obey God and walk as a lifestyle in the higher realm, by not allowing someone’s actions or attitudes to dictate what I do. Releasing them to God, while not requiring them to be accountable to me to make it right. Having the wiliness to walk in the opposite spirit making sure I am willing to be an unrestricted channel of God’s love for that person!" -Doug Easterday
Forgiveness is hard. It's part of the not easy road we walk as Christ-followers. Not because the concept is hard but actually walkng out what it means to forgive is really hard. I love this definition of forgiveness. I have heard Doug preach the message behind his definition quite a few times, and every time i learn something new and meaningful.
Today it's this "Releasing them to God, while not requiring them to be accountable to me to make it right..." It stinks when I have to give forgiveness, but intantly in my head i want them to make it right, to "fix" the situation. I want people to un-do what was done, to make my life easier.... but that's not what this says. If we think about how Christ forgave us, this definition makes a lot of sense and is really real. He doesn't require us to "make it right" to fix the problem we created.
"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;" Psalms 103:11-13
This is amazing to me. No questions asked, long before i was a glimmer in me mama's eye MY sins were forgiven! Yes, i still have to keep repenting and asking, but not for the sake of forgiveness, for the sake of relationship. Keeping in perspective that HE is the LORD, the just ONE; yet he choose me for a special purpose and calling...AND he forgives me, over and over and over again. Why should i not take after his example? Why should i not choose to forgive in the hard moments of my life? When it hurts? When it's easier to be mad, and not forgive. If i choose to forgive i also must do this "be an unrestricted channel of God’s love for that person!" That means see them as God sees them, like Jesus: Perfect, Pure and Spotless.
So today i choose to forgive. I choose to not see people as mean, spotted creatures, but i choose to see them as my King sees me: Pure and beautiful, created for a purpose, and meaningful in this crazy thing we call life!
So the title tells all. I started a blog for my business... Just Smiles photography...check it out...
justsmilesphotography.blogspot.com
enjoy some of my favorite pics....only a few for now, but i have a hard time picking...i only have 6,000+ pictures on my computer to choose from....anyways...i'm going to use this blog to "advertise" my skills in Bend....so spread the word. Cassie LOVES taking pictures, and would love to take yours!
be blessed. be a blessing. Love Jesus. Love People.
1 John 2:17 "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
Let's be honest, at some point in our lives we all struggle with this question; What is the will of God in my life? Sometimes we think about it more because of our situation, or perhaps it's because of a choice we have to make...or maybe we are envisioning our future and we hope we are seeing the same thing that our Papa in Heaven is.
I've heard it said like this: "In order to know the will of God you must first know who he is. Who he is is Holy(set apart). So if we are walking in STEPS of Holiness, being set apart for righteousness in every situation than we are doing His will."
That sounds AWESOME!!! YAY i have an answer?!!?? not so fast. Putting this is practical everyday terms makes this so easy to say and so hard to walk out. Being set apart. What is that? What's it all about. Well I better have something i am set apart for... The will of God? Well then we are back to the beginning. Let's look it up....
Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
This is every other persons favorite verse? Why is that??? because it talks about a life of prosperity? no harm? I don't really think so. I think it's because to some extent it answers our question, not directly, but to some extent. "plans to give you a hope and a future." WOW that's good stuff. HOPE. That's what this world needs. A future. We all want tomorrow to come, and even if we are not sure what that future holds, because we have the HOPE first, we know it will be good. No matter if we live a life of prosperity by the worlds standards or not, we know we will prosper because of the HOPE to that which he has called us. He has given us the Hope that there is tomorrow. If tomorrow is working at a restaurant, or painting a mural at the park, if tomorrow is reading a book to a child or preaching THE WORD to 200 junior high students. NO matter what tomorrow holds if we have the HOPE of Jesus Christ living in us we have a future. If the future is Heaven, boy will we be in for an AWESOME surprise, but if the future is now, and now is where i am... then i my hope is that i live my now with passion, with fire, with something no one can take from me... my hope.
What is the will of God in my life? I don't know. I have absolutely no idea what things he has planned for me. I have a faint picture. I have a few prophetic words that i will hold on too... but let me say that they are not my hope. They are not what i hold on to. Oh no, I hold on to Jesus. He is my only ONE. He is my I AM. The one I hold on to in my moment of sorrow, of quietness, my moment when no one in the world seems to know that i am screaming out for LOVE and attention, when I am so lonely my own heart beat is more scary than an assurance of life. When the sound of the keys i am typing is a comfort. HE IS MY EVERYTHING. JESUS paid it all...Just so i could have Him all. He is my LOVE and my LIFE. He is the one i live and breathe to serve. MY hope is built on nothing less than HIM. HE IS MY HOPE.
This is how i know the will of God. When i hear Him whisper in my ear; "Well done good and faithful servant. Wait on me. Fall into my arms. let me carry the burden, you just hold my hand."
I heard this today and my heart cried out. My eyes let the tears fall, because so often i get caught up in WHAT IS THE WILL OF GOD ??? I forget to just be in it! The silence is deafening, and the cry of my heart pierces the night, but when i choose to quiet these things and let my PAPA, my ABBA God love me...my heart melts. and then i know: to be in the arms of the ONE who created all things satisfies my soul more than knowing all the plans of all my days ever could. This is the will of God: to know HIM.
Unfortuatly for all you faithful blog checkers...i have been a slaker and have not posted for a while. but here i am today, making up for it =)
Let's see what's happened since my last post....hmm: SO Much! I'm keeping busy at Red Robin, which is good when the bills come flying in =) and my goal is to be the most joyful expo the Bend Red Robin has every seen, no mater what...everytime!!! It's going pretty good. I continually reminding my self it's about Jesus...and i need to be like him as much as possible.
Church. Where to start with how amazing it is?!?!?! I don't know! I love it so much. Emerge is such a blessing, that i hope i don't take for granted. A couple weeks ago we had close to 200 young adults on a thursday night, and that blows my mind! The worship is humbling, the messages inspiring and the leadership powerful! I pray that every church in America will be blessed with a young adult community like we have a Westside... I am burdened with the fact that my generation is "falling off the map" when we leave High School...We have the power to change our generation and the ones to follow, but we need leaders who will shepherd us to a world changing, Holy Spirit Powered movement!
Last weekend I had "the guys" here... smile you who came, cry those who missed it! It was so much fun showing them around Bend!! WE played football in the park, walked around downtown, tasted Bellatazza, hung out at Westside, and took an AMAZING hike out at Smith Rocks!!! Here are pics.... Me and my brother Jeremiah, who i hadn't seen since December! yay for Amazing siblings...
Me and the incredible creation God gave central Oregon!!!
The Central Oregon Night Snake we had the privalage of watching...do a lot of nothing...well it crawled aroung a little/ I did my research they are kinda rare so we are kinda special! oh and it was about 3 feet long!!!
A very cool picture I took from inside a rock!
Matt, Tim and Jeremiah...holding on for dear life as they peer over the edge!
that about sums it up. God is amazing, I Love where He has me: in the palm of His Hand. He won't let go, He never changes!
I hope you all are enjoying the beginings of Summer. I know i am!! yesterday it was 85* and it's been up to 92* this weekend so far!!! I miss all your smilin faces, and can't wait to see you when i do!!!
"Capturing Moments You'll Remember Forever"
View My: 
L-R= Ben, Josiah, Gregg, Elijah, Josh, Rachel, Hosanna, Me, Sarah, Jacob and Lindsey! 
Then Nicolette...
And then it was my turn... now please be gracious with my form and lack of trickery. This was the first time i have tried to wake board in 5 years!
