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11:23
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there once was a girl
Self-entitlement or entitlement–noun1.the act of entitling.2.the state of being entitled.3.the right to guaranteed benefits under a government program, as Social Security or unemployment compensation.The definition sticking in my mind today or maybe all this week is #2 the state of being entitled. The symptoms of self-entitlement are intense douchebaggery and excessive assholeyitis. The only real
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14:01
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there once was a girl
Once upon a time there was a man named Mort who had a sister named Mabel. Even though they were siblings, they turned out very different by the time they grew up. Mort became one of those people who works his ass off for everything and realizes that he is in charge of making his own happiness. Mabel ended up as one of those people that was always the victim and her unhappiness is always the fault
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12:40
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there once was a girl
In general I’m an optimist (except when the PMS monster possesses me, but no woman can be faulted for raging then), so I have no understanding of negative people. I’d be even more of an optimist if we could send all the Negative Nancys and Doom and Gloom Garys to live in Antarctica, so the penguins can kick some sense into them, because I’m pretty sure the rest of us would start pooping
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10:33
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there once was a girl
Dear Diary,It the first day with all four kids on break. I slept in for a whole 45 minutes, but it's not really sleeping in if three cats are pacing up and down your body, because their food bowl is empty and they are going to die. It's also not sleeping in if the person you share the bed with is alternately tossing and turning and calling the cats so that they pace even more.I dragged myself out
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12:43
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there once was a girl
I have a story. I’m not sure if it’s a comedy, a drama, or pure horror. The names will be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. I shouldn’t protect the guilty, but I’m mostly a nice person. I know a little girl who is almost four years old. Let’s say she’s a… hmmmmm - neighbor. We’ll call her a neighbor. Since she is almost four years old, she’s becoming more independent every single
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15:08
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there once was a girl
I'm pretty sure that all my life I've been keeping a list of things or people that I dislike. I swear I add to that list every single day. Someday I'll achieve my dream of becoming either a hermit hidden away from the stupid of the world, or I'll finally master world domination and have all the people and things that annoy me killed or maimed or made mute.There's a lot of really random things on
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9:30
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there once was a girl
Spring is nearly here and in the moments between scattered snow flurries, people are finding themselves twitterpated, gushy in love, and pooping rainbows. Be in love, gush, poop rainbows - just don't do it around me.I'm not a public display of affection person. It's not that I'm against love. Love is wonderful. I'm against all those sickening, slobbery, gropey things.Your body parts don't belong
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12:48
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there once was a girl
On Saturday morning before I was even 4% awake I opened the fridge for milk for my coffee. 4% awake is not nearly enough to deal with the horrible smell that assaulted me...part sweaty farty man smell and part rancid festering foot boils with just a hint of fermenting fruit.It was time for a full-fridge clean, because a quick dash through the shelves to throw away any ancient leftovers wasn't
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13:19
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there once was a girl
If it wouldn't be way too much work, I'd grow my own vegetables, slaughter my own cows, and grind my own flour so that I would never again have to set foot in the grocery store. People in stores irritate me beyond belief.I needed three things from Costco, so I though that would almost be painless. I'm not that lucky. I walked in behind a herd of ancient women that can't get those carts going more
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17:53
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there once was a girl
Over the last couple of months, a kid and I have watched all four seasons of Heroes. (I heart Netflix so much.) I can't decide which power I'd want to have. That whole healing thing would be sort of nice, because I'm on the klutzy side. Flying would probably be bad. I'm scared of heights, and flying would probably give me a heart attack.The other day in the grocery store a strange guy was looking
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9:15
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there once was a girl
When I was a little kid, I desperately wanted a horse. Then I went to some church camp and I got to ride a horse. And I got kicked by the horse in front of my horse, because my horse tried to stick his nose up the other horse's butt. It hurts to get kicked by a horse. A few years later on a family vacation, I rode another horse on a group trail ride. It wanted to eat grass instead of keeping up
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17:58
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there once was a girl
Today was gorgeous. It was like Mother Nature decided that she'd had enough of this gloomy, doomy wintery stuff. The day couldn't have been prettier if the sky was spitting kittens at me. I love kittens more than I love practically every person in the world, so for it to be so nice that kitten rain couldn't improve it? Perfect.I decided that I had to sit out on the patio for awhile. Most of the
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9:44
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there once was a girl
A couple of nights ago I sat down with Jake to do the most horrible thing a 9 year old boy can imagine - fill out valentines. He was pretty excited at first, because I bought Nerds and Pixie Stix cards, and I promised him that he could have most of the leftovers.The excitement lasted a whole three seconds before we hit meltdown one. The Nerds cards were tearing instead of coming apart neatly at
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18:49
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there once was a girl
I'm feeling like a hermit lately. No, that's wrong. I'm trying to be a hermit, but some kid always needs a ride somewhere, or we run out of milk, or I have such an intense craving for gobstoppers that I'm willing to drive 15 minutes to the nearest store.There's a couple of things making me want to stay in the house all the time. The weather sucks. We're not getting any real snow, yet it's not
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10:59
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there once was a girl
My 17 year old has an appointment to take the test for his drivers license later this week, so we've been cramming. I'm really not good with this whole letting a teenager be in control of a metal monster thing. Kayle's had her license for almost 4 years, and I still don't feel overly comfortable being her passenger. I'm sure it has nothing to do with her being really short and driving a big truck
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20:48
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there once was a girl
In order to drown out the sound of boys playing something noisy on PS3, I'm watching What Not To Wear. I hope I never see myself on their secret footage. Ever. That footage would reveal my dirty little secret.I wear sweats way too much, which is something I've only taken up in the last couple of years. I was never going to be that stay at home mom. You know the one...wearing ratty, unwashed
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15:30
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there once was a girl
I've been telling myself that this is the year I start blogging again. I miss it.I turned 40 a few months ago. The number doesn’t bother me, because I think age is in the mind, and I will forever be 19 and awkward, except without the god awful big hair. I swear to never have big hair again or allow aquanet within 10 miles of me unless it’s Halloween.
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22:45
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there once was a girl
School's out, and I got conned into a trip to hell...I mean Disneyland. Two adults, three boys, 900 miles, and an oversized mouse. For years, I've sworn up and down that I wouldn't do Disney again with kids. I caved because I suck. 900 miles. In a car. Three boys. That mouse better be waiting with beer.
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22:37
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there once was a girl
I posted about this a couple of weeks ago and must have accidentally deleted it.My amazing friend, Jen, died after an intense fight with cancer.I'll walk with your name on my back next week in Heaven Can Wait. Your name will be next to my mom's. I hope you'll be sitting up there in heaven with her having a beer and cheering me and the kids on while we walk. You can even make fun of us for not
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21:29
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there once was a girl
Yes, I know it's been at least a thousand years, but I share the computer with a giant family and as the mom, I take last place. I should sue.A couple of weeks ago it was really nice. I wore shorts. I got a bit of a sunburn. I hiked. I drank summer hot weather beer. I watched my dad maneuver a 50 foot RV around my driveway until he was parked between my dog kennel and a huge juniper. He's
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22:56
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there once was a girl
Again, it's been ages. Obviously, I'm low on the computer priority list in this family.A few months ago, I wrote about a friend of mine fighting her third bought of cancer.She died way too young yesterday after an amazing fight. I hate cancer.I'll have a beer for you, Jen, and I'll even watch a few Red Sox games in your honor.
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22:13
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there once was a girl
One of my cats (Sylvester) is all about his teeth and what kind of damage he can do with them. I want to submit this picture to icanhascheezburger and I need a good caption, preferably something from a vampire movie. All I can think of is "I vant to suck your blood."Someone out there has to have something better.
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18:37
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there once was a girl
It's been just over a month since I was laid off from work. At first I had Christmas, New Year's, and the kids home on break to keep me entertained. I also had my 19th wedding anniversary. That was the day my husband got laid off too. We spent our anniversary in front of the computer trying to navigate the unemployment website. For our 20th, we'll do something much funner, like stapling our
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16:12
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there once was a girl
Yesterday, my SIL, Heather, came over and we spent hours and hours and hours making Christmas cookies. I swear my pantry is overflowing with cookies even though I've been eating them pretty much non-stop all day.They go so good with my morning coffee, my afternoon coffee, and maybe my evening coffee if all the caffeine doesn't start kicking in and waking me up. This morning at 6:45, I hauled
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18:11
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there once was a girl
It's the time of year when we have several deer come through the yard in the mornings and late afternoons. Some of them nibble the brush and some pull up chunks of the lawn. The quickest ones head straight for the bird feeder and suck out the seed, quickly snapping at any other deer that dare try to get some seed too. The young ones prefer the nice salad bar next to my front porch. The cats don't
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18:13
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there once was a girl
I adore little old ladies. This isn't about the sweet ladies who have a smile on their face and are pleased with life.I detest crotchety old bats. This is about them."What the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that? What's the sale price on that?""Are you sure your register is right? Well, why isn't that marked down more?
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18:25
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there once was a girl
I know an amazing woman - Jen. She's fought and conquered breast cancer twice. She climbed a mountain while going through chemo. She's walked tons of miles in 5 years of 3 day walks for cancer. And now she's going through radiation for spots on her brain.She handles this all with incredible grace, although I'm not sure she always feels she has that grace. Her blog entries* about her fight ooze
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18:06
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there once was a girl
Somebody needs to invent a way to yank the snotty attitude out of a 16 year old boy and leave nothing but sunshine and happiness. Turning him into a Stepford kid for the next couple of years would work too. Or maybe he should just get his period already and have the constant PMS go to a few days a month.The house is all decorated for Christmas minus one missing stocking, but it belongs to
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12:36
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there once was a girl
I work part time in retail. The majority of customers are polite. This is a list of rules for the ones that aren't, and if the rules are followed, I wouln't want to go home and drink heavily after every shift.1. Do you really thing being rude to me is going to make me want to help you? I'm far more likely to direct you to a product that's crap if you choose to be an asshole.2. I'm not a
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7:04
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there once was a girl
A few weeks ago, we opened up the indoor part of the kennel, so the dogs could hide out in bad weather. We moved the dogs houses inside and put two nice warm beds in there. Bad idea. They decided to play shred the bed and created a mountain of fluff and cedar chips. I sent a kid in to pick up the fluff, and he got a lot of it, but still left enough to fill 87 beds.Yesterday, I decided to pick the
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15:46
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there once was a girl
This is my new adorable kitten, Sylvester. He likes to dance for dangly toys.He also likes to levitate lime green mice with his gigantic paws. On the hottest day of the summer, this bird decided that the plain birdbath wasn't good enough for him, so he played in the fountain on the patio three feet away from where we were sitting. While the bird was playing, we exerised our right as parents to
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15:17
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there once was a girl
One day it was the beginning of summer vacation and all of a sudden we're in the third week of school, and I cannot figure out where summer went.I can't even remember what we did over the summer. I know I was constantly busy, but I don't think I actually did anything interesting at all, unless you count refereeing fights between the kids, working, and collapsing on the patio swing at the end of
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21:55
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there once was a girl
We were on vacation last week in Shasta. Vacation might not really be the right word. Let's call it it Fun with the In-Laws.To set the scene, Fun with the In-Laws would be my family, R's dad and stepmom, and R's sister and her family. When we get together, things are always a bit odd, and beer and/or other alcohol is required to maintain any sort of sanity. Lots of beer and/or other alcohol.Day 1
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17:34
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there once was a girl
I love email. I got this one today.Name: Daniel ColeEmail:co_dan.hsbc56@yahoo.frGood day,I am Daniel Cole, staff of International Private Banking at HSBC Bank. I am contacting you concerning a deceased customer and an investment he placed under our banks management three years ago. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of
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15:53
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there once was a girl
Max was bred to be a bird dog, but to his disappointment, we don't hunt, so his big excitement in life is making sure that birds do not dare sit in the bird bath, any trees, or within 50 miles of the bird feeder.He takes his job seriously.It involes a lot of running, ear-flopping, and tongue wagging. Last week his wildest dreams came true and a birdflew right out of the tree and into his mouth.
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15:42
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there once was a girl
One of my dogs looked like a vicious face-eating demon when he sees people, but he really doesn't want to see if people meat is as tasty as it looks. He's smiling because he is so happy that someone might give him a belly rub. I've been trying to get a picture of him smiling, but he doesn't understand that the camera means stay still for the love of Pete.Attempt OneAttempt Two (does he even look
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16:42
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there once was a girl
First, how is it possible that my baby will graduate from high school in six days? I mean I like the idea of knowing that I raised one all the way to adulthood without any form of dismemberment and all that, but time is not supposed to go this fast. (two minutes from now when the boys start fighting over something stupid, I'll wish they were graduating too)Second, why on earth do old people put
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18:20
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there once was a girl
Everyone has annoying habits. I probably have a couple or a hundred of my own. I can admit it. E has one that is driving me nuts. When he walks into the bathroom, he opens the shower curtain. Sometimes it's just a little, but most of the time it's all the way. The shower curtain must always be closed. That's my rule, and it will always be my rule.When the shower curtain is open, people can see
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18:27
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there once was a girl
I can't believe it's already May. The annual Memorial Day Invasion of the Relatives is almost here. Last year, my mother-in-law stole a cat from one of my neighbors, so I can't wait to see what happens this year. We've threatened to plaster her picture all over the neighborhood with a warning to everyone to keep their cats safely locked away. Maybe we better add dogs and horses to that
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18:24
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there once was a girl
What was fun was going to Shannon's baby shower last night. Thanks to Jen for letting us all invade your house.What was so not fun was discovering that one of the dogs must have gotten into something that didn't agree with him, so he had a pukefest all over the patio and garage. Not only did I get to stand outside where it was absolutely freezing to hose down the patio, but I was also lucky
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13:26
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there once was a girl
My nephew was born on Monday...all 9 pounds 8 ounces of him. They guessed that if they let my SIL go to her due date, he would have been around 11 pounds. I cannot even begin to imagine havnig a baby that big. Mom and baby had a rough week. SIL is having a difficult recovery, and they're worried that she may have ripped internal stitches, and the baby spent a day in NICU because he was having
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14:10
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there once was a girl
Dear Mother Nature,You're really pissing me off! I'd rather be wearing shorts and sandals instead of fuzzy boots and sweatshirts.**********I get a new baby nephew tomorrow morning, and I can't wait to snuggle a baby again and know that I'm not in charge of disgusting diapers, I won't have to spend the next year or two with a kid stuck to my boob, and I don't have to wake up a thousand times a
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11:23
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there once was a girl
We totally took advantage of the few days of nice weather to work in the yard, because even though everything else looks dead, the weeds have flourished. We're having another sprinkler zone put in an area where we planted trees last fall, and we'll soon be looking for more trees so that eventually we'll have a natural privacy screen between us and our neighbors. Our tired old wheel barrow has
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18:11
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there once was a girl
Today is the 12th anniversary of my mom's death. I really can't believe it's been that long, because most of the time it seems so recent.I still think about you everyday, Mom, and I miss you like crazy. Everytime someone I know kicks cancer's ass, I know that you may have lost the battle, but hopefully someday cancer won't be allowed to take anyone else's mom away.
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20:00
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there once was a girl
I'm completely disappointed that WSU lost against UNC today. Although since UNC scored over a hundred points in each of their last two games, I was proud of the Cougars for only letting them hit 68. There is a definite upside. It's time to replace all the kids WSU shirts, and I bet we can order Sweet Sixteen shirts cheap through the Bookie tomorrow. The two youngest both claim to be fans of only
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18:48
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there once was a girl
I has been over a month since I've had more than 2 minutes on the computer. How can it be that I feel like I've been really busy, yet also really lazy? In that month, I:1. Went to the Bend Bloggers meet up, and it was in the newspaper, but I'm way too lazy to go find the article right now.2. I've worked a ton of extra hours thanks to some horrific cold going around. I managed to get it myself,
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7:04
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there once was a girl
In January, I received that dreaded thing in the mail otherwise known as a jury duty summons. I shouldn't have been surprised, since I was called in the summer, but I deferred. I swear it wasn't because it was summer and I wanted to be outside playing in the sun every second of everyday. Really. It was the kids. Four kids left alone for how many days would have made the world explode. Sure the
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18:06
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there once was a girl
I have such bad spring fever. Maybe it's because I can actually see almost all of my driveway, half my grass, and even half of the brush. Someday soon I might even be able to go a whole day without smothering myself in fleece!
One of my dogs found the ultimate revenge for being forced to sleep in the garage (after a down comforter mutilation and 6 months of finding feathers, dogs don't sleep in
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15:44
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there once was a girl
I am so flipping tired of stupid people.
When the road is covered in ice, don't pull out in front of me. Just because you are too stupid to realize that having four wheel drive does not mean a damn thing on ice, does not mean that I should have to die.
Please park in an actual parking spot. I know that when there is fresh snow, the yellow lines might not be visible, but when the parking lot is
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15:31
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there once was a girl
Lots of things are irritating the crap out of me today.
Britney Spears. I am so tired of you being everywhere. When I turn on a news station, I want real news. Endless hours spent speculating whether or not you'll show up for some courtroom drama is not real news. If I desperately need to know if you're pregnant, I'll check a gossip site. Tom Cruise. I was forced to watch that secret Scientology
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14:43
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there once was a girl
A few nights ago I crawled into bed to watch tv, because sometimes I just need to lay around in a cocoon of flannel, down alternative, and wool on a cold winter's night. While I was learning things I never wanted to know about electric ejaculators for bulls on CSI, the show cut to commercials. I wasn't really paying to attention to what I was being tempted to wasted money on when a very Save the
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15:09
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there once was a girl
I am SO glad the kids went back to school today! They need to get back into their routine and I'm looking forward to no cleaning up trails of mess all day long.
The big present that I couldn't name before Christmas in case little eyes were behind me reading every word was a Playstation 3. Never before have I seen all four kids so excited about something that didn't involve Disneyland. I have to
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7:30
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there once was a girl
Hear that?
It's silence. Glorious silence that I'm holding onto, while I await the Invasion of the In Laws.
Round one starts today which will bump the household population up to 4 adults, 7 kids, 3 dogs, and 3 cats. The family room, where we normally spend our evenings will become a giant bedroom with the organization of a kids room...clothes everywhere and bedding scattered throughout the room.
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5:35
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there once was a girl
I just love waking up at 4:30 in the morning by snot. Such a lovely way to start the day. I could take benadryl, but I have to work today, and benadryl would leave me totally non-functional. I could take one of the cold pills in the medicine box, but they're a joke.
What I really want is real sudafed, so that I won't have one nostril leaking gallons and the other one so clogged up that I'm
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16:21
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there once was a girl
I always feel like my kids are in two groups because of the ages (7, 10, 15, 18), and the only time we buy them joint gifts is if it's for the 2 youngest, or if we buy something for the whole family like a basketball hoop or badminton or something.
For the first time ever, they all want the same thing and various accessories that go along with that particular thing, which I cannot name in case
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5:32
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there once was a girl
A couple of weeks ago, we adopted a little black kitten, Jasper.
He's from a feral litter, so he started out very skittish, and spent lots of time hiding under dressers. He still hides, but he is really coming out of his shell. Coming out of his shell involves waking me up at 2 in the morning by chewing my fingers, wrestling with Spot over and over all day long, attempting to climb the trunk of
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18:18
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there once was a girl
I really didn't fall off the planet.
I think I will finally be working less, although I thought that last week and worked way more than I was originally scheduled to do. When I'm not working, I'm cleaning up the trails of slime and sludge left by the lazy little slobs who call me mom.
Time is flying. Thanksgiving was good. I ate breakfast, and then ate breakfast again, and then dragged out all
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6:17
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there once was a girl
Yesterday was my first weekday off since early October. My first day with no one home. My first day to get five billion things accomplished. I didn't manage to mop my floor, and I forgot to pick up another remote for the garage door opener, but all my clean underwear is in the drawer where it belongs.
I picked up a new remote for the upstairs cable box to replace one that had several buttons die
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7:12
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there once was a girl
I'm up at the asscrack of dark to get ready to go to work and suddenly found myself with a spare 30 seconds.
I'm enjoying my job, but I'm working a lot more hours than I thought I would be at part time. I worked retail once before in the early 90's, but I forgot how physical it was. I come home totally exhausted from being on my feet all day. It took me awhile to figure out why my thumb always
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16:18
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there once was a girl
So busy. So behind.
I'm still missing most of my links and have no time to find them to bookmark.
I have 3 different computers not being used, yet still scattered around my family room, because I haven't had a chance to put them away.
I still haven't done the fall cleanup on the yard. Maybe I'll get to it next year.
K turned 18 last week, and I simply cannot wrap my head around having a kid
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18:16
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there once was a girl
We gave up on fixing the computer after I installed the new graphics card and all the diagnostics switched to signalling a missing hard drive. We bought a new computer yesterday, so now I get stuck with all the setup fun...user accounts, getting adaware and spybot, trying to get 4 kids to understand that we did not buy this so they can play Polar Bowling, painstakingly recreating my bookmarks,
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10:37
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there once was a girl
I think this is officially the strangest search string to come up in my sitemeter.
"if a human has sex with a stuffed animal and hump it, will i become preganant"
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8:19
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there once was a girl
Quick question for anyone in the know.
On my desktop, it looks like my graphics card is dead. I can get to the set up menu, but nothing beyond that. Can't even boot into safe mode.
I have a new graphics card, but from everything I've read I need to uninstall the drivers from the old card before installing the new card...a big problem if I cannot see anything on my screen.
Can I install the new
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13:49
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there once was a girl
Normally when I get gas, I sort of space out in the car while the tank is being filled. I must never do that again.
I was sitting there thinking about the kids, and when the big, burly, cranky-looking attendant handed me my receipt, I said, "thanks, babe." I'm sure I turned all shades of magenta as I frantically tried to make my window go up faster and speed out of the parking lot.
Then I got
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17:42
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there once was a girl
Apparently my do over weekend has not yet started.
Last night the door from the laundry room from the garage up and died. The little thingy that slides back and forth when you turn the handle lost it's slide. Jumping up and down on the handle didn't work, and the door was stuck. Fortunately, laziness prevents from shutting the big garage door or the cars would have been trapped. There is a side
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18:37
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there once was a girl
I swear the weekend was cursed or something.
Friday (before the ugly bug incident) the post for our mailbox rotted through and the mailbox ended up on the ground, so Saturday morning we didn't get the paper. How am I supposed to start my day if I don't have the paper with my coffee?
Saturday morning I hit up Home Depot for a new post and concrete. Since I was getting a huge post I had to use
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18:49
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there once was a girl
Someone tell me what the hell this thing is that crawled across my driveway!!!
It is huge! This disgusting ugly bug is TWO inches long. I don't like it. I don't want it by my house. I don't want it to eat me while I'm sleeping.
I keep telling myself that it did not come out of the brush, but instead fell from my brother's Jeep that was parked in the driveway. He and R went out to Millican on
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10:27
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there once was a girl
Bodily function commercials make me rather squeamish.
I don't want to know if someone has gas. Fart, burp, eat your Beano, just don't make me know about it.
Same goes for incontinence. Commercials for adult diapers are creepy. Thank goodness I have my diapers so I can drive along the coast in a convertible with my bestest friends in the whole wide world. Do they know I leak?
No tampon
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17:43
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there once was a girl
I'm still stuck on the laptop with the space bar from hell.
Everyday, the indicator lights on the desktop have a new surprise for me.
GGGY, YGGG, GYYG, GYGY...I just can't wait to see what they say tomorrow. Maybe I'll be really lucky and they'll have a whole routine sort of like a Dance Dance Revolution thing.
I can manage to keep the computer pretty spyware free and virus free. I can manage
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13:05
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there once was a girl
All I hear is the computer fan and birds chirping outside the window. It's amazing how quiet things become with the kids back in school.
J & E started Tuesday. I got them loaded on the school bus and then drove over to the school carrying the extra 500 pounds of supplies that would not fit into their backpacks. Then I stayed with J on the playground to make sure he could find his classroom. I
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19:05
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there once was a girl
Everyone has their team. That team that make them shout in joy, that team that makes them curse and scream, that team the makes them cry. For us it's the Washington State University Cougars. Yeah, they make us curse, scream, and cry more than anything, but they're still our team. We love them and we hate them and we love them.
When our oldest was born in 1989, we still lived in Pullman stuck in
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22:14
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there once was a girl
We are in the middle of a storm that is making the sky absolutely gorgeous.
It started mid afternoon with lighting and thunder and then the rain started. On my way to take J & E to their school open house, it was raining so hard that my windshield wipers could barely keep up. Make that wiper, because the one on the passenger side of the window decided to warp and didn't work worth a damn. Plus
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17:10
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there once was a girl
We finally got the Disney Channel today. J and E were so excited, because they both have huge crushes on Hannah Montana. They fell in love with her when we were in New York, and until today they could only get their Hannah fix at my brother and sister-in-law's house.
Next Friday, The Grateful Dead channel starts on Sirius. I just know that means that day will find me rigging the house system
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12:58
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there once was a girl
I noticed my camera sitting somewhere that I didn't leave it and found this picture of J practicing one of his latest moves.
Of course, now I need to take away his board for awhile as punishment for not wearing his helmet.
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10:53
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there once was a girl
We spent the weekend doing glorious things like a much needed Costco trip before we had to start using newspaper in the bathrooms, cleaning the barn, and the dreaded car waxing. I am so not ambidextrous which means waxing with only my right arm. It hurts.
Waxing the car guarantees a few things...bird poop suddeningly being aimed at the roof, bugs splattering everywhere, an evil cat using the
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19:12
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there once was a girl
There are things you don't want to find in your house: spiders in the shower, mice in the pantry, little boys peeing on the bathroom wall instead of the toilet, projectile Oreo puke coating a bedroom, moldy old food or dishes under a bed.
I've found them all, and I hate them all.
Today I added something to my list. I've been trapped in laundry hell, a big part of which is gathering stray socks,
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17:00
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there once was a girl
R had to be at a meeting this morning in Portland, so we had the alarm set for 4. I don't do 4. I tried to go back to bed, but the dog started flipping out, so I had to go out and put him away.
Then I was just up.
I made lots of coffee. It didn't help.
I walked down to get the paper. It wasn't there.
I was showered and dressed by 5:30. I don't like that.
I was asleep on the patio swing by 1:
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14:33
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there once was a girl
Someone got here by googling "tried planting puppies once." Really.
So, to that person, I have never planted puppies, but I imagine it would be sort of like planting daffodils or tulips. Dig a hole around 6 inches deep (or deeper if you are planting something like a St. Bernard), place the puppy in the hole, and cover with dirt. Then move a few inches away and repeat the process. Water and
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12:15
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there once was a girl
I've been trying really hard to learn to control my road rage, but the stupids are out in force lately!
Dear Mr. 4Runner Driver last week,
You pissed me off just by being so involved with your cell phone that you weren't paying attention to traffic. You're lucky I let you live after I discovered that you can't talk without your hands, which meant that your hands were nowhere near your steering
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8:11
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there once was a girl
Every it year it seems like when August comes, we try to cram in as much summer as possible.
We've had summer camp with grandma, kids camping with friends, another kid going to a musica festival for nearly week. We had my 16 year old nephew visit for a few days. My dad and stepmom were out. We've had dashing through sprinklers, rushing through the grass to hit the slip and slide, and lots of
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18:46
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there once was a girl
Long time, no post. Summer vacation is still kicking my ass, and I'm really looking forward to next week when R's mom takes J & E away for a week of brainwashing at church camp. She promised to pay for the deprogramming. A view of the Woodside Ranch Fire from my backyard.
I first noticed it just before 4 o'clock when I was on my way into town. From where I was, it looked like it was near
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15:14
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there once was a girl
When are my children going to learn that they cannot possibly outsmart me?
D has to do chores to get to spend time with his friends. The big one right now is brush cutting to keep our fire perimeter. I would guess that if you take away the house, yard, barn, and driveway, there is still at least 2 acres of brush. He keeps trying to come up with excuses to get out of brush cutting.
1. He'll say
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13:04
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there once was a girl
Things I say 500 times a day:
Put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher.I am not your maid.Stop fighting.Would you just be quiet for five minutes.Put the puppy out so he can pee.I said put your dishes in the dishwasher, and that means now.For the love of God, just stop fighting.Things that have happened that make me nuts:Someone put the ice cream cake on top of the garage fridge instead of the
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11:49
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there once was a girl
J got his birthday present yesterday. Sage is a black lab/Australian cattle dog mix, and such a sweet little guy. Max seems to like him and seems happy to have a friend again.
We let Jake choose the name and by the time we got to the shelter, he was down to three choices: Sage, Buster, and George Bush. We made sure to not let him choose the last one, because there is no way I want to be standing
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14:31
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there once was a girl
J is 7 today, and he insists on announcing his age to anyone he sees. I took him to spend his birthday money on a nerf gun nearly as tall as he is, a couple of squirt guns, and some extra darts for the nerf gun. He told me that now that he's 7, he needs to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up. First he'll play in the NFL for 4 years. Then he'll be a scientist for a few years to save
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10:42
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there once was a girl
The pet curse struck again the other night.
Spot considers it her job to keep the house bug free, so when she saw a fly on the kitchen window behind the sink, she leaped up onto the counter to protect us from the evil villain invading her space. Unfortunately we have two beta fish in bowls behind the sink. Spot's dramatic fly-killing leap led to a huge crash. One of the fish bowls fell into the
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8:26
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there once was a girl
I'm back from NY, and I have stories and pictures, but first I'm spending the day helping my brother and sister-in-law move into their new house. I hope I get muscles.
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12:33
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there once was a girl
God, that was hard.
I think that now Cassidy is wherever dogs go when they die. And he has good hips, fur back on his face, and lots of steak, tomato juice, and beer.
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17:23
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there once was a girl
We've been trying to make Cassidy's last couple of days as nice for him as possible. Max stays in the kennel by the barn, while Cassidy lays on the patio in the sun without having to worry that Max will tackle him. He's been eating steak soaked in tomato juice, plus drinking tomato juice with some crushed advil to keep the pain under control. He's been washing it down with Coors Light, because
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11:35
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there once was a girl
In January, 1994, we picked up an 8 week old Golden Retriever - a little bundle of fur with endless energy.
Cassidy quickly became a member of the family, albeit, the only one that ate shoe, chewed on table legs, ripped the head off many a stuff animal, and ate the face off a Cabage Patch kid. He peed on my bed too, but then again, so did all the kids, although none of them actually did it on my
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10:37
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there once was a girl
I'm half dreading and half excited about going on vacation in a week to visit R's dad in New York.
Cons:
1. Flying across the country with four kids.
2. Being trapped in an airplane with four kids.
3. Stupid people in airports
4. Again that whole thing about being trapped in a plane with four kids.
5. All the aunts, uncles, and cousins who will be dropping by to stare at the people from 'Orygone
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9:28
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there once was a girl
If someone gave me a blob of clay and told me to make something, I would make a blob of clay. When K is given a blob of clay and told to make something, she comes up with this.
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15:26
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there once was a girl
I seem to be missing another cat. Other houses in the neighborhood are also missing cats, and no, my MIL wasn't in town this weekend, so I don't think she took them and hid them in my house anywhere.
So where are all the cats going? Are aliens scooping them up for strange probing experiments? Is there a cougar loose in the neighborhood going canibalistic? I have heard coyotes in a couple of
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11:44
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there once was a girl
Yesterday morning, I particpated in the Heaven Can Wait run/walk. I walked, since I am so not a runner of any sort. During the speeches in the beginning, everyone was told to kneel with the survivors left standing. I ended up being all teary-eyed wishing that my mom could be one of the people standing. I was so glad to be wearing sunglasses, because I don't do teary in public. After the race, my
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9:35
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there once was a girl
Dear Men,
For the love of all things holy, please remember that while short shorts are appropriate for say running a marathon, they are not appropriate for putting down sod. Especially once you've reached at least your late 50's and you are standing in view of half the windows of my house. My eyeballs are delicate, and I would prefer to keep them that way. I have kids in the house and they don't
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15:39
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there once was a girl
Found my cell phone (swiped by a kid who was out of minutes on her own phone and is now going to pay dearly by being the one to sit with little boys on our cross country flight in a couple of weeks while I sit far away), but still missing the cat.
Now I'm entertaining myself by watching the really hot guy that is moving dirt in my neighbor's yard. I hope my neighbor hires him more often.
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16:35
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there once was a girl
Take one cutting board, one huge watermelon, one very sharp knife, and me. Stick those all together, and you get a big chunk of watermelon leaping off the kitchen counter and landing with a giant splat on my foot. The very sharp knife landed on the rug next to the sink, although I'm quite surprised that it chose not to stick into my big toe to add gushing blood to the watermelon sludge now
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11:31
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there once was a girl
Last Thursday, I walked into the house, set my cell phone on the kitchen desk, and that sucker vanished into thin air. Call it, you say? That would only help if I hadn't brought it in from the car because the low battery beeping was driving me insane and I couldn't reach the car charger.
I have been tearing the house apart bit by bit trying to find the stupid phone. I've pulled up couch cushions
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9:52
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there once was a girl
We still haven't found the cat, and on Saturday, R's mom insisted that she would find Sadie and bring her home. Off and on in the afternoon, she called for the cat and asked us over and over where we had checked. Later she decided to go for a walk and call the cat and hauled along a couple of the kids and her husband to help.
Being a holiday weekend full of in-laws, we were doing what I think is
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12:42
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there once was a girl
J decided to write a story that he refused to show me, but I found it in his room this morning. Six year old minds make me laugh.
"once upon a time there lived one puppy whu was named Max and on the other side of the rode there lived one Bear Buddy who never ment Each other befor and 15 minutes later they were friends ntell they were in high school"
J asked me how to spell 'high school,' but he
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15:13
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there once was a girl
I drove up around the corner to take this picture of the controlled burn happening behind the neighborhood. Since there is a hill behind my house, all I could see from the backyard was billowing smoke shooting up in the sky that seemed closed enough to just jump over the hill and take away my house. I'm glad to see it's not as close at it looks.
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12:38
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there once was a girl
I'm really starting to be convinced that the animal world really hates me - even more than yesterday!
There's a baby mouse in the boys room. I don't like mice, even if they are cute little babies. I have a couple of cats locked in there right now, although I know that with my luck lately, if the cats kill the baby mouse, I'm probably doomed.
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14:44
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there once was a girl
My animal karma keeps getting suckier! First I lose the good cat. Then the stupid cat that won't get lost craps in the back of the car. Just a little while ago I walked out to the garbage can, heard a noise, looked up, and a quail that was sitting on the garage roof divebombed at my head. Not a little quail keeping track of his cute little baby quail, but a gigantic quail that takes too many
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12:56
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there once was a girl
In preparation for the Invasion of the Relatives on Friday, I've been making a list of the 682 things I need to do because I'm a freak.
47. Move five bazillion toys out of the boys closet to the storage room upstairs, because my 6 year old nephew can pull every single thing out of their closet in 3.2 seconds. But ask him to pick anything up, and the world ends, because who could expect a little
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13:21
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there once was a girl
Yesterday we went to buy a new BBQ. We knew we couldn't handle another Memorial Day Invasion of the Relatives with just our tiny little kettle grill. Since the older kids weren't home, we had to take the 2 younger ones with us, meaning that we couldn't take the truck. We also weren't smart enough to take the third seat out of my car, so lots of manuevering was involved in getting a giant grill in
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16:33
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there once was a girl
Sadie is still missing. I really hope she didn't cross the street into the hundreds of thousands of acres of BLM land. I stopped by the shelter to fill out a lost cat report and R is printing up fliers (flyers? why can't I spell today?).
To make the day even better, I got to spend some time at the dentist getting scraped with pokey things. I hate that, and I sit there imagining the pokey thing
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17:11
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there once was a girl
My sweet Sadie cat is missing. I saw her in the garage (it was shut) last night at around 9 or 9:30, and I haven't seen her since. I assume she came back into the house and then snuck out the door. We had people all weekend and the doors were opened a lot. Usually if she gets out, she makes a circle around the house and yard a couple of times and then sits near the back door. If it's dark
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17:11
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there once was a girl
MSNBC has an article (presumably for Mother's Day) about movies to watch with mom.
The movies listed are The Brady Bunch Movie, Postcards From the Edge, Little Women, The Joy Luck Club, Bridges of Madison County, Terms of Endearment, Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith, Pride and Prejudice, Autumn Sonata, and Chocolat.
The Brady Bunch Movie: Comedy is my favorite genre, but that
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15:46
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there once was a girl
Last week, R insisted that the best way to spend a couple of hours was to sit in the barn digging through his bazillion rubbermaid bins o' crap. I swear that man has kept every single thing ever. All that was mine in the bins was a couple of high school newspaper issues and a transcript. I got a C in PE my freshman year. I didn't even know it was possible to GET a C in PE. I must have really
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15:08
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there once was a girl
My violently ill washing machine?
It was constipated because a nickel and a bunch of peanut shells clogged the drain pump. I'll take the blame on the nickel. I empty pockets, but a nickel is easy to miss.
I am completely clueless about the peanut shells. If I buy peanuts, I buy the ones that have already been shelled and come in a nice jar. I don't buy bags of peanuts in the shells, because I
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12:10
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there once was a girl
Yesterday my beautiful washer that I paid way too much money for in August stopped working mid-cycle. I grabbed the manual which said to unplug it and plug it back in. Still not working. I begged and pleaded and complimented the washer on it's beauty and style, but the washer didn't listen. I petted the sides and top, but still nothing. I do laundry every single day, because I know for a fact
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6:58
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there once was a girl
My sister-in-laws baby brother really, really wants to be on The Real World. I don't watch the show, since I'm not 20 anymore, but if he gets on, I will watch it every single week and make fun of the stupid crying drunk girls.
This is Jake and he needs everyone to vote for him and hopefully catch him up with the people that have tons of votes.
And tell your friends!
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17:13
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there once was a girl
One girl teenager. Includes cell phone glued to her face with regular phone in her hand. Cannot clean her room or bathroom beyond throwing everything in the closet. Will drive you crazy over prom dresses. Must have candy and gum at all times. Will screech every time you refuse to hand over the car keys.
One boy teenager. Comes with snottiest attitude ever and talks back until you want to tie him
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14:51
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there once was a girl
A couple of days ago, we found a little surprise behind the blinds in the bedroom windows - a bazillion little red baby spiders. At least I think they were baby spiders. All I know is they were creepy, crawly microscopic bits of things that grow up to be big creepy, crawly things that scare the crap out of me. I'm all sorts of squeamish just thinking about them.
Like any person fearful of bugs,
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14:02
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there once was a girl
You ever go to run errands including stopping by the bank, and then you get trapped in the bank drive-thru because some dumbass is stupid and you can't back out because there are cars behind you, so you start playing with your hair and realize you have a lot of split ends, so after you finally get out of the bank line from hell, you decide to stop in for a quick trim, but to get all the split
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15:47
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there once was a girl
Just when I was starting to think that maybe I grew out of my clutziness, the planets aligned or unaligned or just generally decided to piss me off.
I reached over the laundry basket in my closet to grab a stray sock and kaboom. I toppled head first into the basket of dirty clothes.
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9:11
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there once was a girl
J tends to freak everytime he gets a tiny little scratch. He becomes overly dramatic and needs ice, and he's going to keel over and die if he ever gets another paper cut again, because his whole body is just going to fall apart. Yesterday he came to me holding out his arm.
J: Mom, look what I did trying to catch the football. (showing me this faint red line on his arm that didn't even appear to
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10:55
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there once was a girl
If D is not at school, then he's playing or working at Bachelor. As someone who can't even make one run on a snowboard without falling on my ass or plowing into lines of little kids getting off the lift, I can't figure out how on earth he manages to fly off jumps.
I also admit that sometimes he scares the crap out of me with the risks he's willing to take and the stunts he insists that he try,
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11:05
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there once was a girl
On Sunday night in the dark, I walked out onto my back patio. I saw a shadowy lump on the porch swing and immediately thought it was a cat. I went to scoop up the cat and take it in the house, when to my horror, I found this staring me down with black, beady eyes.
A ragged, dirty squirrel pointing his weapon right at my thigh. I brought it in the house so that others could share in the
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16:53
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there once was a girl
We spent Friday and yesterday doing the first yardwork of the season. Because we are complete freaks who should be hospitalized for our own protection, we insist on our lawn having a perfect edge. Yeah, we really are that screwed up. R went around with the power edger and made a line, but being insane, that is just not enough. I followed with an edging shovel to make the line deeper, and then I
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11:29
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there once was a girl
Emily tagged me for "How Real Moms Roll," and it's taken quite a lot of thought, because motherhood is like having every possible thing in life all smushed together into one tiny, squawling baby. Hopes, dreams, fears, joys, sadness. Just everything. From the moment a baby is placed in your arms, life changes instantly.
When K was born, I was overwhelmed. How was I supposed to take care of this
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16:41
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there once was a girl
Today is the 11th anniversary of my mom's death from cancer. It's hard to believe that it's been that long, because a lot of times it feels like it was just yesterday. It's like it's some sort of wound that starts to heal over and then is ripped open and raw again, and I wonder if the grief can ever fully end. Will I ever stop wondering if she would have had a mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy
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15:19
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there once was a girl
I am so glad Spring Break is done! I think I spent at least half of last week in the car shuttling kids to and from work and to and from friends houses.
My brother found a job here, and we are so excited that he and his family will be living close to us soon. He starts on Thursday, so he'll be camping out in our family room while he's working, and then on his days off, he'll be rushing back to
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18:36
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there once was a girl
I've been tagged twice this week for meme's, but Spring Break is kicking my ass. The pesky kids seem to think the computer is only for them and they don't like to share.
Jen and Emily - I promise that as soon as I get a chance, I'll get to work on these. Maybe even tomorrow if everyone sleeps in late instead of complaining that we never have a thing to eat in the house and I never go to the
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16:56
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there once was a girl
At the grocery store, I love to see what other people are buying.
One of my all time favorites was a very cranky looking woman buying beer and tampons. I think she was having a bad day, and I'm glad it wasn't me.
Today, I saw a woman buying a 6 pack of huge Busch Light cans and a tub of frosting with sprinkles. My imagination whipped up all kinds of interesting stories about how she was
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14:33
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there once was a girl
I had to take D to get a replacement social security card today for work, since apparently our safe ate his card, because it's not where it's supposed to be. All I could think of was the hours I spent in the DMV last year when K was getting her license, so I thought we'd be there until I was ready to actually collect social security benefits, but we were in and out in 10 minutes. The government
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11:41
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there once was a girl
Whenever R's dad is out, we make several trips to home improvement stores to take care of odd little things...the hole in D's wall from the doorknob being slammed through it, the possessed towel rack in the kids bathroom that refused to stay on even after I got pissed off and glued it to the wall, and I was hoping to fix the outside outlet that decided not to work the Christmas lights a few
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10:39
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there once was a girl
Ever since I got up this morning, except for a few minutes reading the newspaper, I've been running around like crazy trying to get a gazillion things done, since R's dad is due in town today. I've swept. I've scrubbed bathrooms. I even started dinner and mopped, and I detest doing both of those. All by 9 AM. He missed his connection from Chicago. If he doesn't get to Bend today, I'll get to do
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10:50
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there once was a girl
A few weeks ago, R brought home a Sirius radio kit. We finally got around to installing it in the house and my car over the weekend. The house install was quick and easy, but putting it in the car involved way more work, lots of double-sided tape (the only type we have, because kids swipe it all), and one smushed thumb (mine). The antenna had to be pulled up through the lift gate in the back,
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15:23
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there once was a girl
Last week I talked about getting the chance to see an old friend and today was the day.
It was so strange to see her after 17 years, but it great to catch up with each other. Unfortunately, she was only in town for a couple of hours, and since her mom was with her, we couldn't talk about all our stupid drunken teenager stunts. Her husband was here too, but he's probably heard the stories about
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10:58
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there once was a girl
I conquered the bad toilet with a little email help, so now I can add plumbing to my list of many skills that I never wanted.
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14:19
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there once was a girl
Really high on my list of things NOT to do today was spend my time googling toilet repairs.
It seems that some doohicky isn't working right and the water level in the upstairs toilet tank is going too high and dumping into the overflow valve. According to google, kicking the toilet will not fix the problem.
Every single fix involves sticking my hand in the toilet tank. Hands do not belong in
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15:38
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there once was a girl
The other day I decided to tackle something I only do every few months. Drag out the bunkbeds the size of a giant SUV and see what kind of treasure has fallen between the bed and the wall.
I hate those bunkbeds. I stupidly bought them 7 years ago when we were making room for J. Hugely pregnant women should not ever be allowed to shop for furniture, especially with three kids in tow, because kids
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13:42
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there once was a girl
When I was a kid, my best friend was Kim from down the street. Although we still keep in touch by email, we haven't seen each other in 17 years. I found out yesterday that she might be able to be in Bend next week, and I'm so excited to see her again.
Do you think we'll be able to recognize each other without big late 80's hair?
K thinks I should do my hair all up 80's style, but there is just
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14:17
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there once was a girl
The guy down on the corner is a car collector. He doesn't bother with exotic sports cars, old Model T's, or even Edsels. His car of choice is whatever piece of crap he finds in junk yards. Last fall he had to move his fence out to contain his ever expanding collection of pieces of tractors, ancient camping trailers, cherry pickers (2!), scrunched trucks, and at one point he had a hideous 80's
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14:54
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there once was a girl
Ever since we brought Sadie home from the Humane Society, we've known that she is a special cat, but lately, rather than being special, she's becoming, uh...special.
She has always slept with us, but what started out as curling up in my hair and drooling has moved to her insistence of being under the covers kneading at whatever stomach she can find. Claws sharpened to razor points on the cat
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15:39
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there once was a girl
I installed new toilet seats in two of the bathrooms the other day. One was replaced because a bolt was stripped and the seat slid all over which is a drunken injury waiting to happen. The other one was replaced because it predominately used by boys that couldn't aim if their lives depended on it, and the strange hinges were impossible to clean.
It's embarrassing to admit, but I was actually
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14:57
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there once was a girl
I am having really bad luck with cell phone people this week.
Some dumbass was so busy on his phone that didn't see the big red light and tried to plow me in an intersection.
Granted, the little barbie car he was driving probably wouldn't have done a lot of damage, because I'm pretty sure he would have gone underneath me, but I already have to replace a scrunched running board, a window control
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10:24
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there once was a girl
I'm having one of those days where I have to chant, "I love my dog. I love my dog. I love my dog."
The deer wander our neighborhood early in the morning and late in the afternoon, so Max has to be on a leash or in the kennel at those times, because he really want to lick a deer someday. This morning when I was taking him out to the kennel, I didn't have a leash handy, so I held his collar. When
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14:14
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there once was a girl
Did you know that even when your kid is 17, they still can't always make it to the bathroom when they throw up? Yeah, I didn't either. And it's really hard to finish a bowl of leftover chili with puke noises in the background.
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15:16
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there once was a girl
K doesn't normally drive my car, but I let her use it the other day to take a friend home, because she volunteered to take it through the carwash. Today, I discoverd that she broke some cardinal car rules.
I have memory seats, and she somehow totally screwed up my settings. She's 6 inches shorter than me, so I got into the car and found myself using the steering wheel as a new bra. Then I
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14:20
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there once was a girl
Dear Lady in the Grocery Store,
I wanted to apologize for being so incredibly rude as to say "excuse me" hoping that you would move your shopping cart out of the middle of the aisle so I could reach the juice. I was understandably flustered as I was not expecting to find myself in the presence of the Queen of the Universe right there in front of me. I should have never expected you to attempt to
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14:31
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there once was a girl
By Thursday afternoon we had 5 inches of snow. Finally, it was our big chance to try out the plow attachment that we bought in August. The attachment that we swore cursed us to a winter of barely any snow. The attachment that we were unable to use when it finally snowed. Why? Because last weekend when it was summer for a day, the quad was used to cut a new dirt bike track and the transmission
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10:37
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there once was a girl
Yesterday was E's 10th birthday. The big ONE OH. Double digits. From my sweet chubby baby to a boy fighting pre-adolescent tantrums. My sensitive kid that is prone to crying if something doesn't go right. The one that wants to learn about everything in the world.
The day started out rough for with J being very upset that it was someone else's birthday, so he spent the time before school doing
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18:24
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there once was a girl
Tonight J finally decided that since he'll be 7 in June, he is brave enough to ride his itty bitty 50. He is so proud of himself.
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10:52
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there once was a girl
Rules:Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things/habits about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
1. I don't shave my
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18:29
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there once was a girl
Three of our cats are lazy blobs. However, Spot is a complete showoff, and she likes to do backflips if the right cat toy is tossed in the air.
She even does handstands when she lands on her front feet.
I wonder what she'll be able to do when she finally shows interest in the kitty hooch.
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11:10
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there once was a girl
D is getting to big to ride his beloved 80, so we've been trying to convince him to move up to the 150. He still refuses to ride it out on trails, even the ones behind our neighborhood where he is very comfortable with the terrain. However, he did get out on the 150 on the track in front of the house over the weekend, and even ended up brave enough to take some of the jumps.
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14:21
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there once was a girl
When my sister-in-law visits in the winter, the kids like to convince her to make a giant pot of caramel apple cider. She takes the time to steep real live cinnamon stick that have never been converted to powder in a plastic jar until just the right amount of spice is in the apple juice. Then she makes the perfect swirl of whipped cream on top of each cupful, and drizzles the caramel sauce just
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13:30
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there once was a girl
Who'd have ever though that Anna Nicole Smith's death would actually make me feel a little sad. God, I suck.
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9:00
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there once was a girl
The kids have learned that walking down the front steps in frost, ice, or snow is sure suicide, so they cut through the grass.
When I sent the boys down to the bus, I told them that they'd have an easier time if they crossed the driveway and went down through the dirt bike track. They didn't even lift their feet crossing the driveway. They just carefully shuffled across on the flattest spot, and
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16:32
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there once was a girl
I saw the bus go by, so I knew J and E were on their way up the driveway. When they got to the porch, I heard it - the screaming. The kind of screaming where as a mom you feel compelled to rush over and look for missing body parts, because surely all that yelling means someone face fell off into the dirt.
There were no missing body parts. Not even any blood or scrapes.
They were screaming over
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14:17
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there once was a girl
The gorgeous weather the past few days has given me a serious case of spring fever. Not spring fever like I want to dig up the yard or something. More like the spring fever that makes me want to sprawl out on the patio in the sun and just enjoy being warm.
On the other hand, I'm dying to go skiing, but I am not dumb enough to think that I should go up and do it on a mountain that hasn't had
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3:08
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there once was a girl
You know it's time to get a life when the water to your neighborhood is shut down for the morning, and you start freaking out because you can't do that one load of laundry that is taunting you, because the world will end if there is even one bit of unwashed clothing in the basket.
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4:55
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there once was a girl
The sunset was so pretty last night.
Then the freezing fog trapped everything again this morning.I love it when everything turns white, even if it means I freeze my ass off.
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6:44
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there once was a girl
I was reading the MSN message boards about Ford posting its worst loss. Apparently the general consensus has very little to do with actual cars and trucks. No, people aren't buying Fords because Ford advertised in gay and lesbian publications, and religious zealots have their panties in a wad. Focus on the Family and the AFA (whatever that stands for) have urged their followers to boycott Ford
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8:20
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there once was a girl
Even though J is only 6, he has his life all planned out. First, he'll play football in high school, and then he'll play again in college. After college, he'll be drafted by the NFL, and after he has been in the NFL for at least 5 years, then he'll be allowed to date cheerleaders.
Obviously, he's been playing a little too much football on the xbox.
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6:39
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there once was a girl
My 20 year high school reunion is in July, although I don't know how, because there is no freaking way I'm that old. Originally I had planned to go to the reunion, but July is impossible. We already have to be at a family reunion in Idaho over the weekend of the Fourth, plus I think we may have been talked into going to NY to visit the inlaws - always a good trip, because it involves nothing more
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6:56
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there once was a girl
You know that kind of day where the alarm goes off way too early, you have to take time to clean the coffee maker and get it ready to go, because god forbid you do that the night before or learn to program it so the coffee is ready when the alarm goes off way too early, then you have to practically chisel one kid out of bed after warning him for 45 minutes that the bus would be here any second
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10:03
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there once was a girl
In our attempt to not count peanut butter sandwiches, cereal, and anything that can be ripped out of a box and thrown in the microwave dinner, I've been making real food. I will never stop hating cooking, but real food is nice for a change. I made this on Saturday, and it was so good.
Italian Vegetable & Pasta Stew
4 cups water
2 cups chopped onion
1 1/2 cups quarterd red potatoes
1 cup dried
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8:38
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there once was a girl
How bad is it that I didn't recognize my own kid's voice over the phone?
E called from school to say he didn't feel good, and I thought it was J. I guess that since I'm home with them, I don't ever really talk to the younger ones on the phone.
Then entire drive home from the school, I must have said "don't throw up in the car," at least every 30 seconds. I still haven't been able to get rid of
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10:09
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there once was a girl
Dear Dumbass,
Next time you decide to pull out in front of someone on Reed Market, you better damn well hope their reaction time is as quick as mine, or you might find your face sticking through the windshield of your shiny black Land Rover. Oh, and just so you know...turning on your headlights when it's dark is probably a good idea.
Sincerely,
The Nice Lady That Didn't Kill You
(although she
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13:55
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there once was a girl
Little Miss Sunshine nearly made me pee my pants. It started slow, but still ended up making me laugh so hard that I think I might have hurt myself. I don't want to give any sort of review, because I can't bear to ruin it for anyone.
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6:21
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there once was a girl
As several other local bloggers have mentioned, the Bigfoot hunters are coming to town in June.
That's really one of those hobbies that I just can't wrap my brain around, but obviously there's a market for Bigfoot tracking. I wonder if they're also people that watch competitive bass fishing on tv. Do people that watch that sit around with their beer and yell at the fisherman like people do when
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6:51
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there once was a girl
R survived his implant surgery. More importantly, I survived too. I didn't have to see a single, glistening blob of bloody drool. I did have to keep from throwing up when he showed me one of his stitches that fell out this morning. There are some things that I don't need to think about.
I've decided that I will probably never be warm again. On Saturday, when I took K to the bus for work, it was
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7:32
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there once was a girl
Every marriage has it's challenges, and tomorrow I'm facing a doozy.
Last spring, R had a tooth shatter during a root canal, and tomorrow he goes in to have surgery to place an implant. Although I do have a fear of anyone going under anesthesia, it's my total fear of teeth issues. Just thinking about oral surgery makes me so squeamish, I shudder.
After four kids, I can deal with lots of gross
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23:58
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there once was a girl
I dragged myself out of the house at 5:45 to take K to the bus for work. She called a few minutes ago to tell me that the road to Mt. Bachelor is closed, because of the wind blowing the snow like crazy. She's just hanging out on the side of the road waiting for word if the road will open or not.
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8:07
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there once was a girl
You know the Christmas break from school has lasted way too long when your kids start fighting over jello.
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6:04
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there once was a girl
Yesterday I watched 9 episodes of America's Next Top Model.
While I had heard of the show, it was not something I was even remotely interested in seeing. Then on Wednesday, K was watching it, and I found myself staring at the TV. And then, to my total astonishment, I ran upstairs to hit record on the DVR, because I knew I wouldn't be able to stay up until 3am to see who won.
I can't decide what
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4:38
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there once was a girl
It's official. J has been hit with the cold from hell. His way of dealing with being sick is to have tantrum after tantrum.
Look at him? He screams.
Breathe in the same hemisphere? He screams.
Discovering there is no toilet paper on the roll? His head twists around and bursts off his neck like a missle.
If I couldn't see the rusty, antique coyote traps hanging on the wall, I'd be sure that
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3:06
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there once was a girl
I think I've been in a holiday induced stupor.
For the first time in years, we had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day all to ourselves. It was nice in a way, but too quiet. I'm not even sure if anyone but me bothered to shower and get dressed on Christmas Day.
Santa brought the cold from hell as a Christmas present. I was lucky enough to get it first, and spent most of last week in a river of snot
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7:46
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there once was a girl
As requested by Jen & Elizabeth
Soda Cracker Cookies
First, line a cookie sheet (the kind with sides) with foil and then spray the foil with cooking spray (don't skip that or you'll be picking foil out of your teeth). Put a layer of saltines in the pan.
In a saucepan, combine one cup of butter (only butter, margarine will make a soggy mess) and one cup of brown sugar. Bring to a boil and cook
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7:01
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there once was a girl
Bend was ranked as the second most secure small town in the country.
I guess I never really thought about it, but I no longer obsessively check the locks on the doors five times before I go to bed. Only once or twice now.
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6:49
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there once was a girl
This time of year is the only time that I have desire to be in the kitchen...mostly baking, but sometimes even real food. Food that is not pulled out of a box and tossed in the microwave or oven. Actual homemade food.
I made soda cracker cookies this morning. For some reason, I only make them in December, even though they're incredibly easy and good all the time. I might even break down and make
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5:49
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there once was a girl
Lately, our pets have totally had it in for us.
Max has a new hobby of barking all night long. It doesn't matter if he hears deer, little bunnies, or his imaginary enemy, he barks. In a lack of sleep induced irritability, we bought a bark collar - one of those kinds that sends a little zing every time the dog barks. It sounds so mean, but we were desperate. We brought the collar home, fitted it
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7:02
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there once was a girl
Sunday, I went to a nursery to pick out a Christmas tree. After wandering around for half and hour, I found the tree I wanted. Charlie Brown enough for me, and bushy enough for the rest of the family.
Since we no longer have a living room with a two story ceiling, I decided that rather than drag out the giant steel tree stand for 14 foot tall trees that weighs as much as my right leg, that I
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5:20
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there once was a girl
It's that time of year when the employee Christmas party is looming, because nothing says holiday spirit more than my annual battle to get into a pair of pantyhose.
Pantyhose have got to be one of the most torturous articles of clothing forced on women.
Unless you buy a high end brand, a pair of pantyhose comes fresh from the egg or plastic wrapper looking like a wadded up, used snot rag. If
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2:41
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there once was a girl
For the dumbass drivers...
I know you think that the four-wheel drive fairy granted you special super powers, but that does not mean you need to tailgate, slam on your brakes, or pull out in front of me. Four-wheel drive doesn't do a damn thing on icy roads, you stupid asshole. I bet it even says so in your car manual. Learn to read.
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7:08
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there once was a girl
November 15th...
I hadn't realized it had been so long since I posted. Blame it on 12 days of being in a holiday induced stupor. The cooking. The cleaning. The re-cleaning, because some dumbass in the school system thinks that kids need to be on vacation for nine LONG days. Cleaning the bathrooms guarantees that some boy will try to pee in Morse Code all over the bathroom. Cleaning the kitchen
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7:24
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there once was a girl
I am so excited that we finally got a new radio station in town...92.7 I think. I listened for about three hours today, and not once did my ears start bleeding from version 312 of Kelly Clarkson being pissed off over some guy that left her. I'd leave her too, if she never shut up.
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7:18
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there once was a girl
I am so damn tired of all the wind! Especially since most of the trees on our lot burned down 10 years ago, so we don't have a wind break of any kind. It's wistling through the doors, the window edges, and even outlets and light switches.
I took K and her friend up to Bachelor this morning to fill out all their new hire paperwork, and they officially start on Monday. I am so jealous that she
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13:43
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there once was a girl
I wish I could share pictures of how pretty the snow looked as it was falling yesterday. Or pictures of the boys out building huge snowmen to guard the yard. Or pictures of them rosy-cheeked, wrapped in blankets, and sipping hot chocolate while they told fabulous stories of their snowman making prowess. Or even pictures of how neatly they hung their soaking wet boots and snow gear in the garage
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10:26
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there once was a girl
You know what's great about grandparents?
They take the kids out for the day. It's so nice and quiet in the house right now.
The practice Thanksgiving dinner (would that be Fakesgiving?) came off without a hitch. I've proved myself capable for this year, but I'm sure next year another Fakesgiving will be required...just in case I forgot how to function as an adult.
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11:41
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there once was a girl
Every once in awhile I like to see what search strings brought people here. In the last couple of weeks, I got:
pictures of truck backing over mailbox - I backed into a pole once, but no mailboxes
prairie garb and braids - I sometimes braid my hair when I ski, but I haven't worn any prairie clothes since the 80's, I swear
feelings touching bathroom panties pee - I'm pretty sure it would feel
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14:07
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there once was a girl
Even though R and I have been married for nearly 17 years, he still suffers from the delusion that cooking is something I enjoy. He also likes to have a practice Thanksgiving dinner every year. He claims it's to make sure everything goes off without a hitch, but I know it's because he just can't wait another couple of weeks for a huge turkey dinner.
Since his dad and stepmom are coming to town
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15:16
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there once was a girl
I am so glad that tomorrow is finally election day. I feel like I can't escape the constant political ads, and everytime I see one (at least 50,000 times a day), I want to repeatedly slam my head against big rocks.
I voted two weeks ago...stop attacking me with all the bulls--t. Stop telling me why your opponent sucks and will ruin this country, state, county, city. Just stop. You can't change
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14:56
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there once was a girl
It never fails that when I'm done in the grocery store and ready to check out, every single other person in there beats me to the checkstands. It's like everyone else in the world is equipped with some sort of radar to annoy me.
The lanes were empty as I was looking for the last thing I needed. Thirty seconds later there was a traffic jam of old people at every open checkstand. I'm still trying
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11:35
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there once was a girl
One of the handy little gizmos in my laundry room is an ironing board that folds out of a drawer, because some people apparently prefer non-wrinkly clothes.
As far as fun things to do, ironing is on my list between scrubbing the toilet with my own toothbrush and plucking my eyeballs out with a spork. I try to avoid it at all costs, but sometimes the need to iron rears its ugly head, and I'm
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10:36
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there once was a girl
The last three Octobers, I've pretty much sucked at being a Halloween person. I used to decorate in early October, spend hours making the right costumes, and I always had the good candy. We had to have the annual pumpkin patch trip, sometimes more than once. Then we moved.
That first Halloween, we spent the weekend moving. We spent the 30th hauling all of our stuff from storage (we had to be out
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16:00
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there once was a girl
I assumed that when we decided to live several miles from town, we wouldn't be accosted by strange people handing out religious pamphlets saying "Repent! The end of the world is near!"
I was wrong. I hate those stupid pamphlets, and I have no intention of belonging to any religion that requires me to go door to door for converts. However, becasue I'm a nice, sweet person (well, sometimes), I
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13:01
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there once was a girl
Vacation is over. Sometimes too much togetherness can be downright annoying. I just wanted my house back desperately.
We did a section of the Deschutes River Trail...always fun with fighting boys. "He looked at me, he touched me, he talked to me, he threw a stick at me." Plus we had to wait for the dog every 2 feet so he could sniff a bush just in case some other dog peed there, because you know
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9:15
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there once was a girl
We're still mid vacation. So far, so good. Especially since a new kitty came to live with us courtesy of the Humane Society of Central Oregon .
Her name is spot, because she has the most adorable spotted belly any kitty should be allowed to have.
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13:56
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there once was a girl
I am feeling so lazy and unmotivated today. Maybe because it's cold, gloomy, and windy.
R is taking a vacation from tomorrow until next Sunday. That's a hell of a lot of togetherness. I tried to get the boys to dig a big hole behind the barn just in case I need to bury someone, but they won't do it. What good is to have kids, if they won't do the messy jobs?
I think we'll spend the week playing
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10:13
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there once was a girl
I love walking into my kitchen in the morning and seeing the mountains covered in snow. They look so pretty today.
(I have to remember that after half a pot of coffee, I shake a little too much to use the digital zoom without a tripod or something.)
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14:35
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there once was a girl
Because I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.
I came out of the grocery store, walked to my car, and couldn't feel my keys in my pocket. I didn't feel like digging through my purse while standing in the cold, so I thought I'd just punch my code into the keypad, and then find my keys when I was in the car. My code didn't go in the first time, but that happens if I don't hit it just right, so
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11:20
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there once was a girl
I went through the backyard to give the dogs some water this morning. As I was walking back the house, I heard a gurgle and whoosh. I was attacked by the sprinkler system...the one that I keep forgetting I reprogrammed to start at 8:45 instead of 4am, because of the cold mornings. The one I meant to just shut off yesterday, since it's been raining. I need to start drinking more coffee.
Oh well,
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16:17
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there once was a girl
It made my day to see a dorky Napoleon Dynamite-ish looking kid walking down the street totally rockin' out on his air guitar.
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13:37
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there once was a girl
Saturday, we decided to take the boys to the Central Oregon Pumpkin Company to get lost in the maze. Corn mazes kind of freak me out. I don't like being lost, and I get a bit claustrophobic when I'm trapped. I also worry that I'll lose a kid. Looking back, I should have been actively trying to lose a kid or three. I swear they all woke up that morning and took brat pills.
In the maze, J kept
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11:01
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there once was a girl
My car is getting new tires next week.
Why?
Because little boys can't seem to stop trying to nail pieces of scrap lumber. Because little boys drop nails on the driveway and don't pick them up. Because little boys are trying to make me insane.
Of course, the nail that ended up in the tire made a hole in a place that can't be patched. I would have needed new tires in a few months anyway, but
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14:32
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there once was a girl
I just got back from a fun-filled 45 minutes at the dentist for a cleaning.
I have sensitive spots on upper back molars, so I dread every appointment. I have a little talk with myself on the drive over to remind myself that it's really quite rude to bite the hygienist if she hits that spot. I also remind myself that it is never a good idea to try to jump out of the chair when there are metal
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3:18 Theology [xml|www]
CS Distributors and Creative Smocking [xml|www]
yarrow [xml|www]
Ginger's Kitchenware [xml|www]
View From The Cliff [xml|www]
Create and Relate [xml|www]
Parenting A Complex Special Needs Child [xml|www]
Dudley's BookShop Cafe [xml|www]
Postcards from the Edge [xml|www]
Parking Lot Mamas [xml|www]
It Was Written [xml|www]
breaking the rules [xml|www]
Be Well with Qigong [xml|www]
Spiritual Awareness Community of the Cascades [xml|www]
BendNights Dot Blog [xml|www]
Olive Stew - All the Ways We Eff-Up Love [xml|www]
Liana's Lifetime [xml|www]
The Huni Family (Almost) Daily Diatribe [xml|www]
life is weird (and so am i) [xml|www]
BendBubble Phase Three [xml|www]
coldframed tomatoes [xml|www]
On The Record
[xml|www]NeighborImpact Food Bank News [xml|www]
The Sorted [xml|www]
IronHorse [xml|www]
Wannabe Hipster Mom
[xml|www]Shopping With Katrina [xml|www]
BrianInBend [xml|www]
Blueturtle's Space [xml|www]
Central Oregon Critic [xml|www]
Brewerman [xml|www]
Images by Jeff Kennedy [xml|www]
Alpine Blogs [xml|www]
Central Oregon Savings [xml|www]
Merlot Mortgage Blog [xml|www]
Katie [xml|www]
Training For Fun! [xml|www]
Juniper Seahorses [xml|www]
Bicycle43 [xml|www]
High Desert Diva [xml|www]
Tom's Book Publishing Blog [xml|www]
THE JC PEOPLE [xml|www]
Living With Music [xml|www]
The Grumpy Forester [xml|www]
Central Oregon Food [xml|www]
Mom2Mom Bend, Oregon [xml|www]
Brysons of Bend [xml|www]
Birdies 4 Babies Golf Charity [xml|www]
How the Real Mother Hen Sees the World [xml|www]
Garage Improvement [xml|www]
Bend, Oregon, Daily Photo [xml|www]
PPP (Pole Pedal Paddle) [xml|www]
End Times [xml|www]
WebCyclery Blog
[xml|www]Elise Michaels Media [xml|www]
The Commercial Photographer [xml|www]
RAMBLETRON 4.75.269 [xml|www]
Elan Vital Anthology [xml|www]
Peebo the Bike Commuter [xml|www]
Bend Mothers Acting Up [xml|www]
Bend Drum Circle [xml|www]
Bend Chiro Blog [xml|www]
It's the little things in life... [xml|www]
Holly Contracting and Design [xml|www]
Things that go great with coffee, friends and waffles [xml|www]
Dwyer Williams Potter, Attorneys, LLP [xml|www]
dopeblend news
[xml|www]Stroller Strides - Bend, OR [xml|www]
Cowgirls Blog [xml|www]
Isabella Acosta Barna [xml|www]
Search Consulting Service Blog [xml|www]
Bend Morons [xml|www]
bent and beat [xml|www]
backstage pass [xml|www]
If you're not ready to die for it... [xml|www]
The Debut Effect [xml|www]
Stride Steady [xml|www]
Victoria's Secrets Told [xml|www]
disturbing the comfortable [xml|www]
XC Oregon [xml|www]
Ania Designs [xml|www]
There Goes Today, it Slowly Fades Away [xml|www]
Dusty Tales [xml|www]
Bring Back the 80's! [xml|www]
Life Behind the Lens [xml|www]
Bend Oregon Photos [xml|www]
Bend Gazette [xml|www]
Our journey to Paige [xml|www]
Live on the Fly Studio [xml|www]
Pensees [xml|www]
The BF Stop: The Official BIG Folio Blog [xml|www]
Bivwak Outdoors [xml|www]
eMusings [xml|www]
Scam Protectors [xml|www]
bikebuzz
[xml|www]Call Me Ed [xml|www]
I intentionally wrote it out to be an illegible mess [xml|www]
Gregg Zivney [xml|www]
Music and Musings [xml|www]
The Adventures of Rich Jandt [xml|www]
The Christensons [xml|www]
Kitchen Weech [xml|www]
Juniper Ridge Info [xml|www]
Lighthouse Parents [xml|www]
Not So Sex and the City [xml|www]
Laura @ Curl Up & Dye [xml|www]
Media Review [xml|www]